the Wedding (2000)

by Steel, Danielle

  Spoken just like a writer. The agonies of giving your baby up to strangers. I can't guarantee you it's without problems, but sometimes it's less stressful than writing the screenplay yourself, not to mention coproducing.

  I can believe that. Walking on nails is less stressful. The people out there drive me crazy. They have no regard whatsoever for the writing. All they care about are the cast, and maybe the director. The script means absolutely nothing to them. As far as they're concerned, it's just words. They cheat, they lie, they tell you anything that suits them just to get what they want. I think I'm getting used to it now, God forbid. But at first they really drove me nuts.

  It sounds like you need a good attorney in L.A., or maybe a local agent to give you a hand. You should have Andreas refer you to someone at CAA, she said practically, as he smiled and held out a hand to her.

  Maybe I should call you, he said, finding the idea very appealing. I haven't even introduced myself. Here I am, complaining at you, I'm really sorry. I'm Jeff Hamilton. She met his eyes and smiled, as they stood very close to each other in the thinning crowd at the Weissmans' party. She recognized his name as soon as he said it.

  I read your first book. I liked it very much. It had been quite serious, and at times very funny. But it had made an impression on her, and she'd remembered it, which said something. I'm Allegra Steinberg, she supplied.

  No relation to the producer, I assume, he said casually, still amused by the game they'd been playing, and the fact that they both lived in L.A. But she corrected him quickly. She was proud of her family, although she never rested on their laurels.

  Simon Steinberg is my father, she said calmly.

  He passed on my first book, but I liked him a lot. He spent a whole afternoon in his office telling me what was wrong with it as a screenplay. And the funny thing was that I realized he was right. Eventually I made a lot of the changes he suggested. I've always wanted to call and thank him, but somehow I never got the chance.

  He's very smart about a lot of things, she smiled. He's given me some pretty good advice over the years.

  I can imagine that. He could imagine a lot of things, but one of them was seeing her again after that night. She was starting to look around by then; she realized that another several dozen guests had left while she and Jeff were talking. I guess I'd better go, she said regretfully. It was long after nine o'clock, which was supposed to be the end of the party.

  Where are you staying? he asked, anxious not to let her slip away. There was something very unusual about her, and he had to resist an urge to reach out and touch her.

  I'm at the Regency. What about you?

  I'm spoiled. I'm staying at my mother's apartment here in town. She's away on a cruise until February. It's quiet, but very convenient. It's just a few blocks from here. He followed her casually to the foyer, along with half a dozen other guests. She claimed her heavy coat again, and he took his off a rack, with a long wool scarf. Can I give you a lift somewhere? he asked hopefully, after they thanked Mrs. Weissman for the party. Andreas was upstairs, deep in conversation with two young authors, looking as though he didn't want to be disturbed, so they left him, and went back downstairs.

  I'm just going back to the hotel, she said as they got in the elevator and started down. I'll take a cab. They crossed the lobby side by side, feeling comfortable together. He held the door for her, followed her out, and then gently took her arm. It was snowing again outside and the ground was very slippery.

  Would you like to go for a drink someplace? A hamburger maybe? It's early, and I'd love to talk to you for a while. I hate meeting someone like this, getting all excited about them, and then suddenly they're gone. It seems so futile somehow. All that energy and excitement for nothing. He looked at her hopefully, and he seemed very young. But there was something about her that fascinated him. He had no idea what it was, but she felt drawn to him as well. They both lived in Los Angeles; they were in related fields; they seemed to have a lot in common. But whatever it was, he didn't want to leave her yet, and she had no desire to go back to the hotel. It would have seemed so lonely after talking to him. And now they stood outside, watching the snow, her hand tucked in his arm.

  I've got some contracts with me I ought to read, she said unenthusiastically. They had faxed her a whole bunch of them that afternoon for Malachi O'Donovan's next tour. But she could always do them later. This seemed so much more important. It was as though she and Jeff Hamilton still had things to find out about each other, a story to tell, a mission to accomplish. Actually, I'd love something to eat. The hamburger you mentioned sounds fine.

  He looked pleased, and hailed a cab. They got one instantly, and he gave the driver the address of Elaine's. While he had been living in New York and writing his first book, he had often gone there. And whenever he was back now, he liked to stop by, in memory of old times.

  I was afraid you wouldn't want to go out, he admitted to her, looking handsome and boyish, his eyes bright, and with snowflakes in his hair. Going out with her meant a lot to him. He wanted to know more about her, her job, her life, the father he had met months before. He wondered why their paths had never crossed in L.A. It was as though they had had to come here to meet each other, and he was very glad they had, like two planets, finally colliding.

  I don't go out very often, she explained when he said as much to her. I work all the time. My clients expect a lot from me. Too much, according to Brandon, who hated the extent of the service she gave them. But it was part of her, part of who she was, and she liked it.

  I never go anywhere, he mused as they headed east in the cab. Most of the time, I write at night. I like living in Malibu. Sometimes I walk on the beach late at night. It clears the head. Where do you live? He was curious about her, and he hoped to see more of her, even before they left New York.

  I live in Beverly Hills. I have a funny little house I bought when I came back from Yale. It's small, but it's perfect for me. It's got a great view, and a Japanese garden that's mostly rocks, so I can't kill anything. And when I have to, I just lock the door and leave. She smiled at him. Like now.

  Do you travel much? he asked, and she shook her head.

  I try to be there as much as I can for my clients. Except when I need to be with them somewhere else. Two of my current clients are musicians. Sometimes I meet them on their concert tours here and there for a day or two. But mostly I'm in L.A. She had already promised Bram Morrison that she would try to fly in to see him on his tour. And if Mai O'Donovan wanted her to, she'd do it for him as well. They were both long, arduous tours, and she'd be traveling halfway around the world to hold their hands from Bangkok to the Philippines to Paris.

  Would I know any of them? he asked, intrigued again. She spoke of them as though they were sacred people she had vowed to protect from harm, and in some ways, she had.

  Some.

  Are you allowed to say who they are? he asked, as he paid the fare and they walked into Elaine's. It was crowded and loud, but the maitre d' recognized him immediately and signaled that they'd have a table for him in a few minutes. So who are these clients you're so devoted to? The way he said it made her feel as though he understood how she felt about them. And that didn't surprise him about her. It was a far cry from Brandon taking her to task for every spare moment she gave her clients.

  You probably know most of them, and quite a few of them are pretty open about who their lawyers are. I can tell you those. Bram Morrison, and Malachi O'Donovan is a client now. Carmen Connors, Alan Carr off and on. To name a few. She was proud of them, like a mother hen, and as Jeff watched her, he understood something about her, and about how loyal and protective she was, and he admired that part too.

  Are you saying that they are represented by your firm, or those are personally some of your clients? The names seemed too important for someone as young as she was. She looked about twenty-five. But she laughed at his question, and he realized that he loved it when she laughed.

  No, those are my
clients, specifically, she explained. There are others too, of course, but I'm not free to disclose those names. I think Bram would tell anyone who his doctor was, and Mai is pretty free about it as well. And Carmen tells the newspapers who represents her all the time. She looked very matter-of-fact as she mentioned their names. They were the people who filled her life.

  My God, that's quite a group, Allegra. You should be very proud of yourself, he said admiringly. How long have you been with the firm? Maybe she was a lot older than she looked, he mused, but she laughed, reading his mind.

  Four years. I'm twenty-nine. Thirty pretty soon, much too soon for me, she complained, and he smiled at her.

  I'm thirty-four, and you make me feel like I've been asleep for the last ten years. That's quite a load you're juggling, and they can't be easy people to represent.

  Some of them are, she said, always anxious to be fair. And don't be ridiculous, you've written two books and you're about to start a third, and you're writing a screenplay, and coproducing a movie. What have I done? Nothing but represent a bunch of talented people, people like you. I write their contracts, I negotiate for them, I do their trusts and wills. I protect them whenever I get the chance. I suppose that's creative in a way, but let's be honest here, nothing like what you do. So don't feel sorry for yourself, she chided him. The truth was they were both accomplished people and they both loved what they did.

  Maybe I need your services, he said thoughtfully, thinking of his last conversation with Andreas Weissman only that morning. If I'm going to sell another book to Hollywood, I should have an entertainment lawyer look at the contracts, at least.

  What did you do last time? she inquired, curious about what Weissman did for him.

  Andreas handled it all from here. It was pretty straightforward, and I can't say I got screwed. The deal was for me to get a fixed amount to write the screenplay, and I'll get a percentage of the gross, if the movie makes it. Since I'm producing it with a friend, I didn't want to get too aggressive. I did it more for the experience than the money. I seem to make that mistake a lot, he grinned, but he didn't look as though he was starving. The suit he was wearing was expensive. If I do this again, he went on, I want to get more out of it economically, and give up a lot less of my life to do it.

  I'd be happy to look at the contracts for you anytime. She smiled, and he looked as though he liked that idea. A lot, actually.

  I'd like that very much. Jeff smiled at her, wondering why Andreas had never mentioned her, or offered to introduce them. In fact, it had never occurred to Andreas that his prot+!g+!, his young star writer, would take a shine to the beautiful blond attorney from L.A.

  They sat at a back table at Elaine's and talked for hours, about Harvard and Yale, and his two years at Oxford. He had hated it at first, and eventually came to love it. His father had died while he was there, and he had started writing seriously after that. He talked about his mother's disappointment in him for not becoming an attorney like his father, or better yet, a doctor like her own.

  He described her as very strong, and very much a Puritan and a Yankee. She had definite ideas about work ethics and responsibility. And she still felt that writing wasn't a serious job for a man.

  My mother's a writer, Allegra explained, talking about her parents again, surprised at how much she suddenly wanted to share with Jeff. There was so much to talk about, so much she wanted to tell him. It was as though she had waited all her life for him to be her friend. He was so totally in tune with what she felt and what she thought. He was so understanding. Neither of them could believe it was one o'clock in the morning the next time they looked up. I love the way the law works, she'd been saying to him, the sheer logic of it, and the satisfaction of solving problems. It drives me to distraction sometimes she smiled across the table at him, unaware that they were holding hands but it's really what I love most. There was fire in her eyes as she said it, and he loved looking at her. He couldn't remember feeling that way about anyone on the first date in his entire lifetime.

  What else do you love, Allegra? he asked gently. Dogs? Kids? The usual?

  All of that, I guess. My family. They mean everything to me. He was an only child and he envied the stories she told about Sam and Scott and her parents. He envied her in many ways. His own family life had dissipated after his father died, and his mother was not a warm person. But it was easy to see that Simon Steinberg was a warm, loving man. You'll have to come and meet them sometime, Allegra said kindly. And Alan, he's my oldest friend. Alan Carr. She wanted to introduce him to everyone, like a little kid with a new best friend.

  Oh, no. Like everyone, he reacted immediately to the name. It was impossible not to. He's your oldest friend? I don't believe you, he teased.

  He was my high school sweetheart, sophomore year. We've been best friends ever since. It was odd how easily Jeff seemed to fit into all of it he liked hearing about her work, her family, her friends. It was all so unlike her exchanges with Brandon, and yet she knew that comparing Brandon to a stranger wasn't fair. She knew nothing of Jeff's quirks, his foibles and failures. And yet she was so comfortable with him. It was very odd. And he loved her directness and total lack of pretension. She was the kind of woman he had always admired, and he hadn't met anyone like her in a long time. But as he looked at her, as the evening drew to a close, Jeff knew there was an important question he hadn't asked her. At first, he had told himself he didn't want to know, but he realized now that he should ask her.

  Is there a man in your life, Allegra? A serious one, I mean. Other than Alan Carr. He smiled, trembling slightly in anticipation of her answer.

  She hesitated for a long time, not completely sure what to say. He had a right to know. Or did he? They had spent a lot of hours talking to each other. They were obviously powerfully attracted, but there was no denying that Brandon was an important factor in her life, and she knew she ought to tell Jeff about him.

  There is, she said sadly, looking into Jeff's eyes.

  I was afraid of that. I'm not really surprised, only regretful. He didn't look as though he were about to run out the door into the night. Are you happy with him? That was an important question. If she was, he was out. He was willing to fight for what he wanted, but he wasn't stupid or crazy, or anxious to get hurt.

  Sometimes I am, she said fairly.

  And when you're not happy with him, why is that? he asked her very gently, anxious to know if there was still a chance for him. If not, it hadn't been time wasted. He would always be glad they had met. He had thoroughly enjoyed her.

  He's had a difficult time, Allegra explained, always anxious to make excuses for him, and surprised at how often she had to. He's going through some rough times. He's getting divorced. Or actually, she went on, as Jeff watched her. And there was something about the way she looked and what she said that didn't match up for him. Actually, he's separated. He hasn't filed yet. She didn't know why she told Jeff that, but it was part of the story, and at the way she said it, he looked up at her with a question.

  How long has it been? It was as though he knew this was the key to the story; she had thrown it to him, and he had picked it up and now he was examining it carefully.

  It's been two years, she said quietly.

  Does that bother you?

  Sometimes. Though not as much as it seems to bother everyone else. They've been arguing over property for two years. Actually, what bothers me is that there are still some things in the relationship that need to be worked out.

  Like what?

  He still needs to keep his distance, she said honestly. He's afraid to make a commitment, which is probably why he hasn't filed for divorce. If you get too close to him, in small, subtle ways, he backs off. He says he was traumatized by being forced into marriage the first time, and I understand that, but somehow I don't understand why, after all this time, I should still pay for it. It's not my fault.

  I lived with a woman like that once, Jeff said quietly, remembering a writer in Vermont who h
ad made him desperately unhappy. I've never been so lonely in my life.

  I know, Allegra said softly, not wanting to betray Brandon to Jeff. She loved him. She wanted to marry him. And it didn't seem fair to talk about him to someone else. And yet, she knew she had to. She needed to tell Jeff what her relationship with Brandon was all about. She felt as though she owed it to him, even though she had only met him that night.

  Does he have kids?

  Two. Two girls. He's very close to them, and they're adorable. Nine and eleven. He spends a lot of time with them in San Francisco.

  And you go too?

  When I can. I work a lot of weekends, depending on what's happening with my clients, who's having death threats, doing a film, making a new deal, going on tour. They kept her busy, but he was sure that Brandon's frequent absences contributed to her loneliness too.

  You don't mind him going alone?

  I can't help it if I can't go. He has a right to see his children. She sounded defensive, but he was more intrigued by what he was hearing. He suspected she wasn't happy with this man, but she wouldn't even admit it to herself yet.

  You're not worried about his hanging on to his wife for that long? he asked her openly, and she frowned.

  You sound just like my sister.

  What does your family think?

  They're not crazy about him, she answered with a sigh, and he was beginning to like what he was hearing. She may have been in love with him at one point, but it was by no means a done deal. Not with a girl like this one. She deserved so much more than this, and her family's approval counted for a lot with her. It was easy for anyone to see that. I don't think they understand, Allegra complained. After everything he went through, Brandon has a problem with commitment. That doesn't mean he doesn't care. It just means he can't give what everyone else expects him to.

  What about you? What do you expect? he asked her gently.

  What my parents have, she said, without thinking. That kind of warmth and love for each other and their kids.