Going All the Way (Knights of Passion Book 1)

by Megan Ryder

  Celia was shaking her head before Stacia even finished. “No, I don’t mean that. I meant, how did you convince him to accept you publicly as his girlfriend? I must admit, I thought I had scared him off women for life.” Celia walked back to the table. “I think you need to know a few things about Jason.”

  Stacia wiped her hands and sat across from the other woman, hesitant to speak but desperately wanting to understand the man upstairs. “I don’t think Jason wants us to talk about this.” Her heart was kicking her in the pants, telling her to shut up. Maybe Celia held the key to helping Jason. Sometimes, she could see a deep loneliness, a deep hurt inside of him that permeated every fiber of his being. Taking extra batting practice alone. Working out, alone. Eating, alone. He wore it like a second skin, so much a part of him that he probably was not even aware of it, but Stacia sensed it, sensed that it was the key to Jason, the key to making him happy.

  The thought shocked her. Her job was to keep him clean and make the team happy not save him. Maybe Sophie was right—she spent her time trying to find someone to save, someone who would be grateful to her, someone who needed her. Jason clearly needed it, which is why she was so personally connected to this case. What would happen when the season ended and the job did too? Could she really move on with her life, pretend this affair never happened? Pretend it was all a ruse for image, for publicity, for a job?

  Celia waited patiently, sipping her coffee. She finally put the cup down and looked at Stacia. “I was a young mother, taken in by a handsome face and a charming air. His father could charm the pants off anyone, and he often did. Jason gets that from him. A family was never in the cards and he took off while I was pregnant. It was hard for an unmarried, pregnant mother back then. We didn’t have the resources there are today. It was a stigma and my parents were appalled. They wanted to send me away and then send the baby away. But I was an adult and I desperately wanted something of my own. So, I kept him. We struggled for years. I worked several jobs to get by.”

  “That must have been tough.” Stacia reached across the table and gripped Celia’s hand, a gesture of comfort. “I can’t even imagine it. That must have been so tough for you, and for Jason.”

  Celia laughed, a resilient sound that showed the strength she’d had in raising a child on her own. “It was tough, but we never really knew. We were happy, happier than he certainly has been with all his money and fame, that’s for sure. But you know the story. He showed talent even in Little League and people started getting their hooks into him, riding his coattails.”

  She paused, lost in her memories. Then she shook her head and resumed. “I fear he’s had a lot of pressure on him, more than any young man should have ever had to carry. He trusted some of those people, until he found out why they cared about him. One of his coaches even tried to date me, to be his father.”

  Outrage burned in Stacia’s chest. No wonder Jason was so bitter and untrusting. “What happened?”

  “His father showed up after he was drafted. I have no idea what happened, but he hasn’t been around since then. And the coach? He got a job, thanks to Jason, at a college and never looked back. Guess he never really cared about either one of us.”

  They sat in silence for a few more minutes then Celia took a deep breath. “Jason has had a lot of girls trying to trap him, from the time he was in high school. Girls saw him as a ticket out of their lives. He’s avoided all entanglements, but I’m afraid he doesn’t know how to have a real relationship now, as a result. I don’t know if he ever will.”

  Stacia absorbed the warning, and the hint of sadness in the other woman’s voice. The awkward silence fell again, and the sound of the shower shutting off jarred her out of her reverie. “Celia, I don’t know what this relationship is, or even if it is a relationship. It’s truly a work thing, fixing his image. Maybe it could be more, if Jason wants it. I can’t promise anything, but I can promise that I won’t take advantage of him or use him like the others. If this ends, I’ll walk away and not make him be the one to break it off.”

  At the thought of the end of the season, Stacia paused, reality slamming her in the face. What would happen at the end of the season? The job would end. The relationship will have served its purpose. What next? What did she want? Did she even know?

  Celia gripped Stacia’s hand, tears glistening in her eyes. “I want grandchildren and I want Jason to be happy. I’m not sure it’s in him. He’s been used and hurt too much, but if he can be happy with anyone, I’d bet on you.”

  Oh crap. They were getting in too deep. Emotions, expectations. It was easier when it was just the two of them. But adding in his mother and who knows who else, that changed things. God help her if her father found out. He’d be livid.

  But something else blossomed in her chest, in her heart. Could she really be the one to help Jason? And, once she did, could she really have him forever? Or were they both too opposite, too scarred to try a relationship for real?

  Or was their relationship already real? It was that thought that scared the crap out of her.

  *

  Stacia dressed while Jason was still in the bathroom and headed home to get ready for the day, feeling a bit like a one-night stand, sneaking out of his house without saying goodbye. It didn’t feel right staying at the condo with his mother in the next room. How much trouble could he get into? Celia would keep him well in hand.

  Three hours later, she sat in her office at the stadium, hearing players trickling in for the evening game, while she tried to line up interviews and other activities to showcase Jason in a good light. She knew she had Stan, but she needed something bigger, something splashy, something prime time. Too bad she didn’t have any contacts in sports, except maybe her father, as he was leading the US Senate committee review on steroids in baseball. She didn’t think she wanted his contacts and she certainly didn’t want to call him at all. He probably didn’t want to hear from her either.

  She didn’t know why that made her sad. He never cared about her before. Why should this be any different?

  A light knock at the door made her look up. Cole Hammonds stood in the doorway and her stomach clenched. She waved him in and he closed the door, then sat in one of the chairs across from her.

  “Did you have a nice road trip?”

  She smiled. “It was an experience.” She leaned back. “I’ve spent a lot of time on the road with politicians, campaigning and crisscrossing the state. We never had the experience like these guys. Schedules out of whack, weird sleep times, downtime. How do they adjust?”

  “They get into trouble. Party too hard. Pick up groupies. Some work out.” He shrugged. “They’re all different. I wanted to talk to you about Kansas City.”

  She nodded. “The girlfriend thing.”

  “Yes, interesting strategy. Would have appreciated a heads-up on the plan.”

  “It’s a fairly common strategy, more often among celebrities. Baseball players are celebrities in their own right. Tie a problem person to a squeaky clean person. Tie a newcomer to a star. Everyone wins usually. The fans love a good relationship, almost more than the game.” She crossed her fingers under the desk, praying he believed the risky strategy.

  “Sure, sure. But it’s risky, you being the girlfriend.”

  “It wasn’t my first choice, or even a strategy I’d planned,” she admitted, ruthlessly suppressing the flash of fear at him questioning her already shaky plan. “When I saw the groupie, and the media in the booth in the bar, I had to do something. The rest fell into place. At that moment, I knew the groupies would never leave him alone.”

  “They still won’t. They don’t care if someone is dating or even married. In fact, it’s almost better, more attractive.”

  “I don’t care about the groupies. I care about the media and I had to change the story. Are you questioning my plan?” Her tone came out a little sharper than intended and she wished she could bring the words back. It was never a good idea to alienate the customer, or the person paying the bi
ll. She couldn’t help thinking that if she had been successful in her last job, no one would be questioning now. Maybe it was unfair to think Cole would be thinking about that, but there it was, the elephant in her mind.

  He shook his head, a thoughtful look on his face. “I’m a little worried, but I can’t deny it worked. I’d appreciate you keeping me in the loop in the future with any additional strategies. We originally asked just to keep him out of trouble, nothing more. This is a little more than expected.”

  “Well, you wanted a babysitter,” she quipped. “Consider it a bonus. It’s in everyone’s best interest to have him looking good not just clean. Maybe we could generate some traction going into the off-season.”

  He stood. “The off-season doesn’t concern me right now. We don’t know if or how Jason fits into our plans and remember, we pay your bills, not Jason. And the client is always right, isn’t that true?”

  She also stood, smiling stiffly at the not-so-subtle reminder of the power holding the strings. “Of course. But you’re bringing me in and my expertise as an image consultant. It’s in your best interest to let me do my job the best way I know how.”

  He walked toward the door, then paused and turned slightly, a small smile playing about his lips. “Did you really blackmail Stan Garvin into doing a feature piece on Friar?”

  She widened her eyes and pretended innocence. “I don’t know what you mean, Cole.”

  He smiled, not fooled. “I loved it. Always wanted to give those vultures a taste of their own medicine.” He sauntered out, greeting a couple of players as they walked by.

  She sighed and sat back down. One down, one more to go. She had received several voicemails from her boss, Michael, in the days following the news story, but she had avoided his calls. He knew she was back in town. How long before he showed up? Her phone chose that moment to ring. She glanced at the display. Speak of the devil. Clicking “accept,” she walked to the door and closed it. Some conversations were better left private.

  “Hi, Michael! I was just about to call you.”

  “Really?” His suspicious tone shot out of the phone. “It would have been nice to discuss your plans before you pimped yourself out for the job. What you do reflects on this company. Right now, you’re on very thin ice, Stacia. This isn’t the way to win approval, especially after your last fiasco.”

  Irritation laced her voice at the constant questioning of her strategy. If it had been anyone else, especially Glazier, no one would have questioned her strategy. And now, two people in the space of five minutes had challenged her, doubted her. She was in more trouble than she thought. Pain stabbed her stomach at the reminder of how precarious her position was. Even her boss questioned her, the one who always said she was his glowing star. Now she was a falling star and everyone was bailing on her.

  She painted on the Kendall persona, the one she saw her father use all the time, the one that froze opponents and won victory. “I’m not going to defend my strategy and I resent your implication about Glazier. I wasn’t responsible, just the fall guy, and I don’t appreciate you calling me on the carpet like a child.” Strength. She had to remain strong and in control. Never let them know they’ve rattled you.

  “Your father has called me several times, demanding that I remove you from this case. As I’ve told you before, he’s a powerful man and client. He sends a lot of business my way. I can’t afford to alienate him.”

  She could hear the fear in Michael’s voice at the very real threat of her father pulling all support from his organization. Her father was never above blackmail and favors, political or personal. Family ties never mattered much to him. It was always what have you done for me lately. And lately, she was more a liability and less an asset. Michael was caught between the proverbial rock and hard place. She empathized with him, but it didn’t minimize the pain she felt at his betrayal. He would never support her against her father. Once again, she would lose, her job, her reputation, her life.

  “So, you’ll bail on me, a loyal employee who’s been very successful for you, with one exception, to keep my father happy?” Even knowing the answer, she had to ask the question, know where she stood with him.

  “Shouldn’t you be asking why your own father would throw you under the bus?” His tone was sharp and pointed.

  She sighed. “I know that answer already. Everyone is an extension of him and his image, especially his daughter. Politics first, everything else last. So of course, he’d want to control my life and my career, even to the point of blackmailing my boss. Michael, I had hoped for better from you.”

  “He’s powerful and wields that power like a club. I may not like it, but I have to respect it, especially if I’m a target.” He huffed in the phone for a moment. “Stacia, I like you. You’ve been a good worker for us, but lately, something’s changed. You’ve changed. It’s like your heart isn’t it this anymore. Anything you want to tell me?”

  She sank down in her chair, despair swamping her. Was he right? She had been hating her job for some time, but never thought it had shown. “That was certainly direct. And I owe you honesty.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m not sure. I’m tired of the lies, whitewashing politicians and lying to the public. They deserve better. I can’t remember the last time I felt clean, Michael.”

  “So, you pimp yourself out? Is it for the job or something personal? Are you cracking? Do you need me to send someone else? Sophie is between gigs.”

  “Sophie? I thought she’d stayed with the campaign.” She sat straight up in her chair. Sophie was keeping things from her. What else was she hiding? Was she another Benedict Arnold, turning on Stacia in her moment of need?

  “No, she decided she needed a break, although she phrased it as more of solidarity with you and how she felt you were shafted. Her words, not mine. So, she has some time on her hands and could take this on.”

  Stacia was shaking her head even before Michael finished. Yes, it was the smart business decision. Her head told her to get out now, take a break and let Sophie handle it. Her heart was already too involved and had overridden her brain. The thought of leaving Jason now was too much to bear, especially when she didn’t know how she felt, how he felt about her. It wasn’t the smartest business decision, letting personal feeling override her direction, but she was loath to let anyone handle this. “No, I have this, Michael. I’m actually enjoying this job.”

  “Are you sleeping with him?” His voice was mild and the sudden change of topic had her off balance. Vintage Michael, always knowing how to get to the heart of the matter in seconds. He came off like a good old boy but was really a piranha underneath the suit.

  “That would certainly define enjoyment. But that’s private and my own business. It has nothing to do with the job. I’ve been successful.” No one could argue her success. Sleeping with Jason shouldn’t matter.

  “You have,” he grudgingly admitted. “The client’s happy. Friar’s looking great on paper and is playing better, making everyone happy. But it’s only for a few weeks more, right? What’s your next step?”

  “The usual. Interviews, maybe a charity event. We have six more weeks and the contract with the Knights is only for the remainder of the season. After that, it’s up to him. But this can set him up for a better contract next season.”

  The subtle reminder that Jason was not going to be around for more than another couple of months or so wasn’t lost on Stacia. It was Michael’s way of telling her not to get too attached, not to lose focus. She appreciated his impartiality most of the time but right now, she didn’t want to hear it.

  His tone roughened. “That wasn’t the job. We just had to keep him out of trouble for the Knights, our clients. You’re playing with fire, especially if you’re getting attached.”

  “Right, and Jason isn’t my client, so there is no conflict of interest.” Yes, keep telling yourself that, Stacia.

  “Semantics, Stacia. Weak argument. I’m not going to argue with you. What’s done is done. I
just want to warn you.” His concern came through the line and she felt a rush of gratitude. Yes, he was her boss but he cared too.

  “Duly noted. My job is on the line.”

  “No, Stacia. I’m more worried about you. You don’t separate the job and personal very well. This is a big risk and I worry for you.”

  She smiled, a genuine one. “Michael, I’m going to begin to think you care.”

  He grunted. “Of course I do. That’s personal, but business is business. You need to be careful and watch your step. Your father isn’t happy. I’ll support you in this for now, but you’d better deal with him. And if the fallout affects my business, well, you and I will have to deal with it.”

  The call disconnected with that final ominous note about her situation. Stacia rested the phone on the desk. She was in over her head, personally not professionally. Any professionalism she had been known for had gone out the window on this case. It was personal. She’d have to deal with the fallout once the season ended. She had no idea where it would leave her, but she had no illusions. Jason was a short-term relationship, if she could even call it a relationship. It had an expiration date and was more one of convenience than anything else. Someone was going to get hurt.

  It was too late to protect her heart, she feared.

  Chapter Twelve

  Stacia stared at the plain white door of Jason’s condo. She hadn’t been to his condo all weekend, leaving him and his mother to have time together. She had seen Celia at the stadium during the game, even shared dinner with them before Celia left Sunday night, but she needed space and didn’t return with Jason after dropping his mother off at the airport. He had looked confused, maybe even hurt, but the expression was masked so quickly, she wasn’t even sure she’d seen it. They had things to do, interviews to prepare for, and it was time to get back on track. Professionally speaking.