The Mirror's Gaze

by Rae D. Magdon

  Larna's lips fluttered into a smile against mine before she took them in an even deeper kiss. Her tongue teased forward, and the flat palm on my belly curled around my hip instead. The hold was still more tentative than I would have liked, but it made me shudder with want. Soon, I reconsidered how I felt about her careful pace. It was yet another difference to cling to if my mind wandered to dark places.

  We sank back onto the mattress together, her body on top of mine, a perfect fit. Our mouths found each other again and again, but I didn't mind the burning in my lungs. I needed Larna and her slow, hot string of kisses more than I needed to breathe. I clutched the back of her head, toying with the light wisps of hair at the base of her neck as my other hand continued guiding hers. I drew Larna's palm up along my abdomen, past my shivering stomach until it cupped over my breast.

  She hesitated again, but only for a moment. When I arched my spine, she began squeezing, dragging the tip of her thumb back and forth across the point of my nipple until it ached with hardness. A low, familiar throb began to grow between my legs, and I gasped, rocking forward in search of an answering pressure. Thankfully, the firm muscle of Larna's thigh was there to meet me. It was a perfect surface to rub against, and I sighed into her mouth. The hand on my hip went away, and I started to protest until Larna shifted more of the covers away. "I am needing to see you," she said, staring at me with dark, pleading eyes. "All of you, Tuathe. All of you that belongs to me."

  I nodded, clutching her tighter. My hands were slightly frantic, but hers lingered, stroking every inch of my skin. She lavished attention on my stomach and breasts before moving on to my shoulders, tracing the line of my collarbone one moment and the vulnerable column of my throat the next. The deliberate purpose behind each touch threatened to drive the wolf in me mad, but the human part of me longed for it. I trembled, torn between indulging my swiftly growing desire and surrendering to her slow pace. "Larna," I hissed, "I…this isn’t what I wanted." I had wanted her possessiveness, and I wasn’t prepared for tenderness instead.

  Larna drew back a few inches, still smiling at me. "Perhaps not. But it is what you are needing."

  There was an unspoken question in her voice, a plea for me to listen to her. She wasn't asking for my submission this time, not exactly, but she was asking for my trust. She was asking me to believe she knew what I needed better than I did. And I did believe her. We were Tuathe, two souls living as one. I closed my eyes, stretching my arms over my head and spreading my legs.

  My acceptance pleased her. She groaned into the place where my neck met my shoulder, sucking a tender spot there. I felt her inhale as she scented me, and I couldn't resist doing the same, nuzzling into her hair. Larna always smelled so good, like sweetly burning wood. I pressed a kiss there as her teeth took my throat, holding just enough to assert her claim, but not enough to leave a mark. Her restraint was maddening. I had wanted bruises, bites, and stinging scratches, but she would only give me softness.

  As I shook with need, Larna began her achingly slow descent. Her hands and lips remembered every inch of me, lingering far longer than I wanted. I whimpered and sighed, but the sounds didn't encourage her. Her hands traveled along my sides, tracing the grooves in my ribs, spread wide to cover as much skin as possible. I tensed as her mouth followed the slope of my breast, stopping short of the hard tip. "Larna, please." I grasped the back of her head, trying to push her lower. "Your mouth."

  To my surprise, she did as I asked. Warmth folded around me, and my hips bucked forward. The muscles of her stomach were wonderfully firm, and the thought of running my own hands over them made my clit pulse. Larna laughed, sending ticklish vibrations through my skin and bringing a flush to my face. She could feel everything, how wet I was for her, how slick, open, and ready her steady pace had made me. She released my nipple with a light pop and pursed her lips, blowing cool air across its edge.

  "How," I panted, raking my fingers through her hair. "How do you do this to me?"

  "Easily." Her mouth wound a trail over to my other breast, trapping the tip with the edges of her teeth. She let go as a surge of heat shuddered between my legs, sliding across her abdomen. She laughed again, louder this time. "Your body is telling me exactly what you are needing."

  I let my nails scratch along her scalp as she continued her way down. Without her firm stomach to grind against, the ache inside of me returned, twice as fierce as before. The small slips of wetness came faster, heavier, and I hissed as her fingertips traced along my thighs, never delving between them. "Sometimes I hate that you know me better than I do."

  "Aye?" She nipped a patch of skin above my navel, but when she released it, the flesh was only a light pink. The only permanent marks on my body were old ones from other nights, most of them already healed. "What are you hating about it?"

  "I hate that you know just where my limits are." I let go of her and twisted the sheets instead, struggling not to move. All my instincts urged me to search for the mouth I knew I wouldn't find. "It means you can walk right up to them and push until I can't think."

  "Then dinna think, little bird." Larna guided my legs over her shoulders and brought one of her hands between them, peeling back the hood of my clit with the edge of her thumb. The warmth of her breath washed lower, teasing me with the promise of her tongue. "Just feel."

  Feeling was about all I could manage when the heat of her mouth wrapped around me. She sucked gently, tongue painting over me in maddening circles. I throbbed in the tight seal of her mouth, torn between sinking my fingers back into her hair and bunching the covers harder in my fists. It was a battle I quickly lost. I gripped her head again, not forcing, but making sure she couldn't leave.

  The mistake only made Larna draw out my torment. She released the swollen bud of my clit and wandered lower, intent on driving me insane. The press and swirl of her tongue around my entrance made my hips hover off the mattress. If my knees hadn't been hooked over her shoulders, I might have floated into the air. She growled against me, a low vibration that made it clear I shouldn't move. This was hers—I was hers—and the possessive sound finally gave me the rest of what I had been missing. I didn't need her roughness, at least not this time. All I needed was to belong to her, as she belonged to me.

  I let her taste me for as long as she liked, chewing at my lower lip and squeezing her shoulder whenever she did anything close to unbearable. She never stayed in one place for long, pulling me into the silk of her mouth one moment, pushing inside me the next. The sensations blurred into a steady burn, and although I wanted nothing more than to watch her, I couldn't keep my eyes open. They fluttered shut, and I surrendered, barely able to take in air. All I could manage to say was her name. "Larna."

  She pulled back far enough to whisper without touching me. "Catie. My little bird."

  The pet name rekindled the tears I thought I had banished. Before Larna, I had never known this was possible. Love, trust, a joining of bodies that didn't bring pain. It had seemed too incomprehensible to me then, and the woman I was now was overwhelmed with gratitude. I had made this. I had built this. I wasn't broken. Instead, I was whole enough to give half of myself to someone else. I didn't have to be afraid anymore, because I would never be alone.

  I cried out as two of Larna's fingers pushed inside me to take the place of her tongue. The stretch stole what little breath I had, and I bowed, eyes snapping open. She knew just how to find the swollen, full place inside of me and exactly how hard to hook against it. I knew I wouldn't be able to last if she continued, but I couldn't bear to ask her to stop. I wanted to come for her—because of her.

  Larna seemed to understand. Her lips closed back around my clit, and with her hand and mouth working together, she managed to draw out a river from deep within me. I squeezed tight around her fingers, spilling into her palm and down her wrist. I felt my release flooding over her chin as well. I gave her everything I had without holding back. The warmth, the ripples, the blissful release of pressure was too perfect. They li
ned up with each soft tug of her mouth, and I wept openly, this time for joy.

  My peak seemed to last forever. Whenever the waves started to calm, Larna pushed deeper or lashed her tongue, and I broke for her all over again. By the time I was spent, I had wept an ocean of tears, and the sheets were damp beneath me. Larna kissed up along my belly, nuzzling into me every time I whimpered. "Happy crying," I gasped, smiling when I saw her dark eyes peer at me with concern. "Promise. I feel relieved."

  Larna ran her tongue over her lips, looking pleased. "Then I was after doing my job."

  I stroked her messy hair, urging her to rest her slick cheek on my stomach for a while. We relaxed together, breathing as one while I regained my strength. The silence wasn't uncomfortable, but after some time passed, I felt the urge to speak. I wanted to thank Larna for what she had done, or perhaps explain some of my intense emotions. But I didn't need to explain anything. Larna brushed one last kiss across my stomach and climbed over me, caging me in the safe circle of her arms.

  "Larna, do you need me to..."

  She shook her head and silenced me with a kiss, one that tasted like both of us. "I love you, little bird," she murmured against my mouth. "You are my mate, and I will always be here. When you be hurting, when you be happy, and when you be somewhere in between."

  I smiled and closed my eyes, welcoming her weight on top of me. Perhaps later I would wake her in the middle of the night and return the pleasure she had given me, but I was content to accept her comfort. She had offered it with all the love in her heart, and I was happy to take it with all the love in mine.

  Chapter Nine

  Taken from the verbal accounts of Ailynn Gothel, edited by Lady Eleanor Kingsclere

  THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYS were a flurry of activity. It took the liarre surprisingly little time to prepare an advance party, and I had to give the council credit. Once they actually made a decision, they threw themselves into it with everything they had. We were marching within two days, partially thanks to the efforts of Rufas. As promised, he had ordered his own warriors into the ranks leaving for Amendyr, and he had decided to join them. Although I didn't look forward to spending more time around him, I had to admire his principles.

  Jinale and Rachari were also among the liarre who traveled with us. Rachari seemed relieved to be doing something productive, while Jinale's mood remained sober. They were almost always together, and I often saw them whispering to each other. However, they weren't the only familiar faces. My old friend Hassa had also decided to come along for the journey. I hadn't been able to see much of him during my time in Ardu, and I was grateful for his presence.

  "You've been a stranger lately," I panted as we made our way up to the valley's edge. It had been easy enough to climb down and enter the city, but going the other way was tiring, especially since the lush green hills were secretly dotted with traps. There were few obvious paths, and we had to follow our guides closely or risk stumbling into one of them.

  Hassa was kind enough to slow down for me. Larna and Cate had no trouble keeping up—I often caught sight of a pair of red and black wolves trotting at the edges of the group—but I was left breathless and practically sprinting thanks to the liarre’s quick pace, and the glare of the early morning sun was surprisingly hot on my face. "Hello to you, too, Ailynn. Where is Raisa?"

  "Riding on Jinale," I told him. "She can't keep up in her condition without help."

  Hassa flared his nostrils in what I assumed was amusement. "I'm sure Rufas loved that. Would you like a lift as well? You don't seem to be doing much better."

  The offer was tempting. Hassa had carried me once before, on our wild flight away from Mogra to take refuge in Ardu. His swiftness had saved us, and we had formed a bond while escaping death together. "Actually, I could use a break," I admitted. He stopped to kneel down, ignoring a few disapproving looks, and I scrambled onto his broad back. My legs had to stretch to wrap all the way around his powerful sides, but his tawny coat was surprisingly soft beneath my hands as I searched for a place to hold on. "Thank you. I know you didn't have to do that."

  "I enjoy your company, Ailynn. The only reason I've made myself scarce this past week is because of Weyshra. I'm his cousin, and most people expect me to take his position once he abdicates. I had to be seen as impartial."

  "What about now? Are you still worried people will disapprove of your friendship with a human?"

  "I don't care what they think anymore. A decision has already been made. I'm relieved the council saw things our way."

  "It wasn't easy. I was there when they cast their votes. Rufas and Weyshra were anything but happy about it."

  Hassa sighed. "A surprise to no one. I understand Weyshra's caution and Rufas' loyalty to his soldiers, but now isn't the time to be hesitant. Sometimes hard decisions have to be made."

  "You sound like Rachari, but less angry. I wish you'd been on the council, too. We might already be with the rebellion by now."

  "The important thing is we're going. And now that you're not lagging behind, we should make good time," Hassa said with a laugh. He caught sight of Raisa, Jinale, and Rachari a little ahead of us, and he quickened his pace to join them.

  Raisa smiled when she saw us, and I gave her a wave. To my relief, the lines of weariness on her face didn’t run too deep, and she looked to be in good spirits. "Look who I found, Tuathe. I bet he's glad he doesn't have to carry both of us this time."

  "You shouldn't make comments about a pregnant woman's weight, Ailynn," she teased. "I can barely fit into my largest shirts anymore. Hello, Hassa. It's nice to see you again. I didn't know you'd decided to join the advance party."

  "You're joking," Jinale said, black lips peeling back over her fangs in the spider version of a smile.

  Rachari answered the look with a sly grin of her own. "Hassa loves trouble. He wouldn't miss it."

  "Don't listen to her," Hassa huffed, although he didn't sound displeased. "The three of us had a few adventures growing up together, but we're respectable now. I have a mate and children, and the two of them are on the council."

  "It should have been the three of us," Rachari said. "Weyshra was only elected by the hair of his mane."

  Hassa tossed his head. "I don't need a council position. Besides, I don't envy your jobs. Having to deal with Rufas every day? I'll leave that to the two of you."

  The three of them kept us entertained with banter until we stopped to rest and eat during the hottest hour of the day. Even though I hadn't made much use of my legs thanks to Hassa, I still found myself tired. Raisa and I joined Cate and Larna when they motioned us over, and I sat down gratefully beside them.

  "You look as exhausted as I feel," I said when I noticed Cate's pale complexion and the purple shadows beneath her eyes. "I didn't know shifting took that much out of you. Or is keeping up with the liarre hard in your wolf forms?"

  Cate tried to answer, but it ended in a yawn instead. "She's only tired," Larna said. "She hasna been sleeping. Her visions be troubling her."

  I hesitated, unsure whether to ask questions or offer comfort, but Raisa knew what to say. "Is there anything we can do?" She placed a reassuring hand on Cate's arm, brow knitted with concern.

  "I'm not sure," Cate said. "There's almost too much to keep track of. I keep seeing fragments of something important, but I don't know how they fit together." She hesitated, as if considering how much to tell us. "Have either of you ever wondered why the Queen is evil? What drove her to kill her husband, drive away her stepdaughter, and conquer Amendyr?"

  "I didn't even think to ask the question," I admitted. "Then again, I watched my own mother go insane. Maybe that normalized it for me."

  "The Queen is one of the people in my visions. Every time I see her, she seems to be communicating with a mirror. It's hard to describe, but the mirror almost behaves like a living thing. It has emotions. It talks to her." Cate shuddered, as if reliving an awful memory. "It feels hungry, and almost familiar."

  "Familiar?" Raisa aske
d. "What do you mean?"

  "I haven't told you much about my life before becoming a wyr," Cate said. "When I lived across the border in Seria, I was a servant. One of the ladies of the house, Luciana, was horribly cruel to me." She hesitated, pain now written across her face.

  "I remember," I said. Cate had revealed snatches of her life before, although only in small pieces.

  "What I didn't tell you is how it ended. Her sadism only stopped when my friends Ellie and Belle broke the sorcerer's chain she wore. It belonged to a High Ariada named Umbra centuries ago. Its magic was so strong that even Ellie heard it speak to her, and she isn't a shaman or a seer."

  Raisa’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Umbra. I know that name. From the story of Feradith and her hatchling, isn’t it, Ailynn? You’ve told me that one.”

  I nodded. It was one of the Amendyrri legends I had recited to Raisa as a child, and also one of my favorites, probably because of the dragons. Although there was often a kernel of truth in such tales, I couldn’t help being skeptical. "Please don’t take this the wrong way, Cate, but that seems very unlikely. How would a magical object belonging to one of the High Ariada end up with a Serian noble? It would have had to travel a long way and pass through many hands to get there."

  "It had centuries to position itself," Cate said. "It sounds strange, but it seems like these objects have minds and intentions of their own.” She hesitated, drawing her lip between her teeth and regarding me with a surprising amount of caution. “I think the mirror might have done to the Queen what the sorcerer's chain did to Luciana. I've often wondered if the magic twisted her, or if she was already twisted enough to use it."

  A sudden thought occurred to me, an explanation for Cate’s uncertain looks, and it burst from my lips before I could hold it back. "Do you think that's what happened to my mo…Mogra…too? She had a whole room full of strange treasures while I was growing up. One of them might have belonged to Umbra."