The Mirror's Gaze

by Rae D. Magdon

  "Jett Bahari, you must listen to reason," Rufas said, almost imploring instead of angry. "If the wyr, the human, and the dwellyn want to go chasing dragons, I see no reason to stop them, but you can't possibly think sending the princess away is a good idea? There are no other heirs to the throne. The entire reason my people agreed to fight in your war was to stabilize the kingdom, for our own sake if nothing else."

  Darkness clouded Jett Bahari's face, and he held Rufas' gaze despite being half his size. "The kingdom will be stabilized, Rufas, with or without Princess Neva. Our primary goal must be removing the Queen from power. Until we do that, the princess isn't safe in camp. She's made an appearance and rallied the troops to our cause, as Rachari said. Now, we need to get her as far away from the fighting as possible."

  "And what if the fighting follows her?" Jinale asked. "Mogra's tracked the girl this far. Who's to say she won't notice her sneaking off into the mountains and follow her again?"

  "She might," Jett Bahari said. "That's why she'll need a guardian. Someone who has fought Mogra before." His eyes settled on Ailynn, and the entire room fell into a heavy silence.

  It took Ailynn several moments to realize that Jett Bahari was talking about her. Her eyes widened, and she tapped her chest in surprise. "Me? Jett Bahari, I can't. My Tuathe is carrying twins." She wrapped a protective arm around Raisa's waist, as if she feared someone might physically part them. "She's due in just a few months!"

  "Ailynn," Raisa murmured, her voice dropping to a whisper not meant to be shared, "you don't need to worry about me. I'll be fine until you get back."

  But Ailynn’s eyes blazed, and she grew increasingly frantic. "You will be fine, because I'm not going anywhere without you. I abandoned you once before. I won't do it again."

  Jett Bahari made as if to speak, but a look from Doran silenced him. The old man circled the table, coming to stand before Ailynn. "Acha, it isn't safe for Raisa to go with you." Ailynn's lips trembled as she tried to form an objection, but no words came out. "You know the pain Mogra causes. She destroys everything she touches. You are one of the few people in the kingdom capable of stopping her."

  "I don't care about a stupid princess," Ailynn shouted. She let go of Raisa, hands bunching into fists. "I have my own family to protect!"

  Larna stepped beside me and took my hand. I knew my mate was just as terrified, although she hadn't said a word. Our fingers laced together, locking painfully tight. "Ailynn."

  Ailynn whipped around to face us, furious at the interruption. "What? Not you, too! You might be willing to let Cate go off into the wilderness on her own, but at least she can defend herself. Raisa isn't a wyr, or even an Ariada, and she's pregnant!"

  Larna didn't rise to the bait. "Aye. And is this the world you're wanting your pups born into? I am having a responsibility to my pack. Cate is having a responsibility to Ellie and to Amendyr."

  "My responsibility is to my wife and children," Ailynn said through clenched teeth. Steam billowed from her fists, and her pale face flushed red.

  "So fight for them," Larna said, pleading with her eyes. "Give your mate a future. Give your pups a kingdom to grow up in. That’s what I be doing. It’s what we all are needing to do."

  Ailynn didn’t respond for several seconds. She stood stock still, frozen with fear, unable to respond. Then, she stormed out of the tent without another word, flinging herself past me and pulling her hood up around her face.

  I turned on instinct. “Ailynn, wait.”

  “Don’t, Cate.” Raisa gripped my shoulder, the lightest of touches. “I need to talk to her alone. Please, finish the meeting without me.” She turned to Jett Bahari, bowing her head in apology. “I’m sorry, Commander Bahari. Ailynn will be ready to go with the others tomorrow. I’ll make sure of it.”

  Chapter Seven

  Taken from the verbal accounts of Ailynn Gothel, edited by Lady Eleanor Kingsclere

  THIS ISN'T HAPPENING. I raced back toward my tent, strands of hair whipping against the wet tears on my face. This isn't happening. People moved around me, but I didn't pay them any notice. I blazed a path right through them. This isn't happening. There was no way I was going to leave Raisa, no matter what Jett Bahari and the others told me to do. She was my everything. My reason for existing. Leaving her the first time had nearly broken me, not to mention the scars it had left on her. We wouldn't…couldn't be parted again. I refused to allow it. This isn't happening.

  At last, I reached our tent. I burst inside still seething, looking for something to burn or break. But the tent was sparse, and aside from our bedrolls and traveling packs, there was nothing to destroy. There was barely even enough room to pace. I felt trapped, caged, even worse than when I had run from Jett Bahari and the rest of his war council. Before I could figure out what to do next, the tent flaps parted. Raisa entered, but seeing her face didn't improve my mood. I knew why she had followed me, and it wasn't just to see whether I was all right.

  "I don't care what you say to me," I snapped, hands throbbing on the edge of flame. "I'm not leaving you." If she tried to convince me otherwise, I couldn't promise that the tent would stay standing.

  "Ailynn."

  She only spoke my name, but her voice held so many other things I couldn't sort through it all. In the end, I didn't even try. I didn't want to have this conversation, didn't want to think or feel. I was sick and tired of letting my fears consume me while the same doubts circled through my head. In desperation, I latched onto the only thing that made sense. The only thing I could trust to stay solid while everything else fell apart. Raisa and I hadn't always been strong, but now, our bond was all I had. I gripped the back of her head and tugged her in for a fierce kiss.

  Raisa's first response was surprise, but after a moment of stiffness, she melted into me. Her lips parted, and she let out a gentle sigh into my mouth. I threaded my fingers even tighter through her golden hair, finding a firm grip on the back of her neck. I didn't know why the intense desire to claim her had struck me, but I couldn't think about anything else. While I was focused on Raisa, I couldn't be afraid. There was only her taste, her sweetness, the soft, coaxing glide of her tongue against my bottom lip, a wordless plea for more.

  It was all too much. I needed the rest of the world to go away, and for that, my world had to shrink until there was only room for two. Maybe this is what I need. And maybe...maybe I should let myself have it. Have her. I held Raisa tight, staring into her eyes to make absolutely sure my touch was welcome. The acceptance I found there sent cracks splitting through my heart. Raisa knew exactly what I was asking, and when her well-kissed lips curved up into a sad but heartfelt smile, I knew she was more than willing to let me be selfish with her.

  I unlaced her bodice with shaking hands, and the next kiss I stole was interrupted by a growl of frustration when it didn't loosen fast enough. Eventually, I got fed up with my own fumbling. I connected with my power and lit the tips of my fingers, burning through the fabric I couldn't untie or tear. I was careful not to touch her skin, but she still gasped as smoldering strips of her bodice and the dress beneath fell away.

  I made sure to stifle the flames before I got anywhere near her stomach, leaving my hands warm but unlit. I cupped my palms over the curve of her abdomen before moving down to her hips, groaning at the bare flesh I found. Raisa was made up almost entirely of smooth lines, and I treasured the rare places where her body veered into sharper angles. Her mouth was too tempting to resist, and I took it again as her smallclothes met a similar fate to the rest of her outfit.

  "Ailynn," Raisa whimpered when we broke apart to breathe at last. She rocked forward in the cage of my arms, searching for more contact. I couldn't tell exactly what she was begging for, but the plea wrapped around my name was unmistakable. My gaze flicked down, taking in the hard tips of her breasts, the rapid rise and fall of her breathing, the blotchy, uneven flush spreading across her smooth skin. She needed this as much as I did, perhaps simply because I did.

  I dragged h
er down onto my bedroll and rolled on top of her, careful not to put pressure on her stomach, and raked the edges of my nails along one of her thighs. The muscles there flinched, quivering beneath my touch, but her hiss wasn't one of pain. "I'm not going to stop," I breathed an inch away from her mouth. “I'm going to take what I want until I'm finished with you, unless you tell me to stop."

  Her eyes met mine again, and the blush at the points of her cheeks deepened as she nodded her understanding. Both of us knew she wouldn't tell me to stop. She cried out when my hand cupped between her legs, slickness spilling over my fingers at the first contact. Her warmth snapped my final thread of patience. I had caused this response in her. Me. It gave me a sense of power and a sense of purpose.

  My explorations were short, but thorough. My teeth latched onto the tender place at her throat that always made her shake, and my fingers found the right spots. Her clit was already hard for me, with the hood pulled halfway back. It only took a few passes to discover a pressure and speed that had Raisa biting her lip, trying to muffle a shout. I was determined to make her release it. I needed every part of her, all the proof of her desire.

  But bringing her pleasure wasn't enough. I wanted to make her mine. Wanted to take back some of the control constantly slipping away from my grasp. I abandoned the stiff point, ignoring her unhappy whimper as I shifted my focus. It turned into a loud moan of approval as I settled at her entrance instead. The river I found there was more than enough encouragement. There was some resistance as I slid in with two fingers at once, but soon she was squeezing down around my knuckles, and I was buried all the way inside her.

  For a brief second, I was still. I needed to savor this. Savor her. Her silk, her heat, the way her inner walls rippled to draw me deeper. Such possessive, entitled thoughts usually frightened me, considering the example I had learned from, but I couldn't help it. She was mine, and it felt wonderfully right to have her. I formed a hook, searching inside her until I hit the swollen spot that always made her scream. This time was no different. The sharp, needy sob that broke in her throat was the sweetest sound I had ever heard.

  "Ailynn!"

  Hearing Raisa cry out my name was even better than hearing her whisper it. I increased the pressure, curling and thrusting until my forearm burned, encouraged by the way she shuddered against me. Each reaction she gave me was an affirmation. Proof I was giving her what she needed. Proof she had given herself to me.

  "Ailynn, please," she gasped, panting. "I…if you don't slow down, I'm going to—"

  "No," I said, a little harshly. I wanted to make her come, wanted it more than anything in the world, but even that wasn’t enough. I needed more. I needed her. I needed to know we wouldn't be torn apart. "Tell me you're mine first." The words came tumbling out before I could stifle them, but Raisa barely seemed to be listening. Her eyes were glazed over, and her inner muscles fluttered wildly around me as more wetness poured into my palm. "Tell me...tell me you belong to me. Only me."

  For a moment, some clarity returned to Raisa's face. Surprise and what could have been a flash of hurt shone there, and I felt wretched for asking. I began to withdraw my fingers, threatening to crumble under the guilt. I shouldn't have done this. Haven't I learned anything? Haven't I grown beyond treating her like some beautiful prize to be claimed? Disgusting. Just like—

  Before I could pull out, a soft hand cupped over mine, keeping it in place. My eyes locked onto Raisa's lips, unable to look away. "I belong to you, Ailynn. I'm yours."

  It took me several moments to speak. "Raisa, you don't have to…not when I'm like this."

  She gave my hand another squeeze, making sure it stayed just where it was. Her face was still flushed, and her breathing came fast and heavy. "I like you when you're like this, you idiot, as long as you're not always this way."

  I stared at her in disbelief. Can it really be that simple? I just let her compensate for my flaws and insecurities and baggage? But something in her eyes told me that it was. If Tuathe were truly two halves of one soul, perhaps there were places within her that matched up with my bad parts as well as my good parts. She was still so warm and tight around me, pulsing even with the small, unintentional motions of my fingers. If she still wanted this, so did I.

  "Again," I rasped, raising myself over her again so that my lips moved against her temple. I braced one forearm to keep my balance as the other resumed thrusting. "Tell me again."

  "I... Ah!" Her voice trailed off into another cry as I started moving, but I could hear the need in it. "I'm yours. Only yours."

  With the broken parts of me satisfied, I focused my attention on Raisa's pleasure. I added a third finger, stretching her even further, and swiped my thumb over the swollen bundle of her clit. It was already slick and straining, and she trembled whenever I rolled over it. I kept giving her more—more pressure, deeper thrusts, faster movements—until she couldn't bear any more. Her entire body seized up, and she froze, forgetting to breathe.

  "Come for me," I murmured, kissing her one last time.

  My permission was enough. Raisa's hips gave an unsteady jerk, her inner walls drew impossibly tight, and a flood rushed through my fingers and past my wrist. She screamed into my mouth, but I swallowed the sound, not even pulling away when her teeth sank into my lower lip. The slight pain only made me prouder. Her clit throbbed beneath my thumb, and I kept it trapped through her contractions, trying to follow the frantic movements of her hips so I wouldn't lose the right spot. My arm ached, but I didn't care. She was mine, and she loved me.

  After an eternity, but all too soon, it ended. Raisa's lips went slack against mine, and she slumped backwards. Once I returned to myself, my first instinct was to check on the twins. I tried to lean back, but was surprised to find that Raisa's arms were in the way, holding me fast. I hadn't even noticed before that she was clutching my shirt for dear life. I reached down between our bodies to caress her stomach, waiting for the reassuring taps, and breathed a sigh of relief when they came. Logically, I knew treating her roughly wouldn't harm them. But my feelings where my children were concerned weren't logical at all.

  Neither are your feelings for Raisa, I reminded myself. I stared down at the place where my other hand remained buried between the dripping mess of her thighs. I withdrew my fingers as gently as I could, reluctant to part from her but unwilling to make her uncomfortable. I tried my best to ignore the ache between my own legs. My lover could barely keep her eyes open, and even I wasn't selfish enough to ask her to return the favor in such a state.

  To my surprise, I didn't need to ask. Raisa reversed our positions, which took some effort, considering her condition. I began to protest, but I couldn't get the words out before she started tugging down my leggings. "Raisa."

  "I thought we agreed you were going to stop being an idiot?" she said, shaking her head at me with a mixture of fondness and exasperation. "I know you need my mouth after claiming me like that. Don't lie and tell me otherwise."

  Of course, I couldn't lie to her. When she pulled my leggings and smallclothes down to my knees, the ache within me doubled in a matter of seconds. My thighs parted instinctively, and my inner walls gave a sharp throb. Taking Raisa had left me on edge, and I was afraid I might come the moment her tongue touched me. Still, I couldn't help watching as she leaned in, holding my hips for leverage. I tensed, bracing myself for the warmth of her mouth.

  The first brush of her lips was nearly as shattering as I feared. They were still a centimeter high, but I felt the wet, open kiss all the way to my core. I buried my fingers into her hair without thinking, desperate for something to grab onto. I can't lose this again. I can't lose you.

  Raisa formed a seal around my clit, and I let out a strangled cry. She started easy, with slow pulls and soft circles, but her enthusiasm was still almost too much. I could feel the purpose in her every motion. She wanted my release, was hungry for it, and that thought would have sent me sprawling if I hadn't gripped her hair with one hand and braced the other a
gainst the bedroll. The thought that she craved some part of me so badly was almost as intense as the hot, sliding silk of her mouth around me.

  Each time I thought I couldn't take another sweet tug of her lips, her tongue slipped down to tease somewhere else. If I tilted my hips toward her, it pushed past the pulsing ring of my entrance, sliding deeper than I would have expected. If I jerked them away in an overwhelming moment, she found a hundred other sensitive spots instead. In the end, she always returned to where I needed her most. Whenever I suddenly found myself wrapped back in the blissful heat of her mouth, part of me was certain I would pass out.

  "Raisa," I groaned, fighting the urge to grind against the lower half of her face. Pleading words stopped up my throat, and I couldn't quite let them out. Part of me still burned, too proud for begging. I wanted to come undone for her on my terms. "Make me come."

  She gave a soft whimper that vibrated against me, almost as if she was disappointed I hadn't lasted longer, but she was nothing if not obedient. She sucked harder and the steady flicks of her tongue sped up. The subtle shift was more than enough on its own, but I looked down at her anyway. Our eyes locked, and I was lost. A sharp shudder raced through my body, and I used my hold to keep her in place as my climax finally tore through me.

  Its power left me screaming. My inner walls pounded, and Raisa drew me even deeper. As soon as she did, the battering waves became a flood. Something inside me burst, and I watched in awe as a gush of wetness ran over her chin in glistening trails. She stopped sucking for a split second, obviously tempted to move down and taste me, but I stopped her by fisting her hair. I needed her lips around me and her tongue gliding over me until I couldn't stand it anymore.

  She seemed to find renewed purpose, and she stayed fixed on the throbbing point of my clit until I had nothing left to give. My inner muscles continued clasping at nothing, but I was completely drained. I released the golden locks wound between my fingers, caressing the back of her head as gently as I could. She stopped and slid her tongue down, easing me through the last of my aftershocks.