“But—”
“This isn’t going to happen.” He shook his head, his mouth tugging down at the corners. “I won’t let it.”
The turmoil in his eyes eased some of the pain gripping Madeline’s insides. She took a cautious step back, afraid if she didn’t she’d embarrass herself and try to change his mind. Good Lord, what had gotten into her? She’d never begged a man for anything in her life and she refused to start now.
Ashamed at her behavior, she blinked back tears. “Don’t worry, cowboy. I won’t throw myself at you again.” She made it to the door.
“Maddy.”
The choked sound of her name was enough to jerk her to a standstill.
“Lock your bedroom door tonight.”
She did.
Madeline lay awake long into the wee morning hours, her body and heart aching from the sting of Jake’s rejection. If not for Annie, she’d have packed her bag and driven off tonight.
“HEY, buddy. You’ve got to work with me here.” Jake patted Quicksilver’s silky nose. The horse continued to be the toughest to train, and his favorite. The stallion, chock-full of spunk and pride, resisted him at every turn. He unlatched the gate and slapped the horse’s rump. The animal bolted for freedom.
He glanced at his watch. Almost suppertime. And Maddy still hadn’t come out of the house. Like a chicken he’d snuck out this morning before the girls had gotten out of bed. He knew it was cowardly, but he couldn’t face Maddy with Annie around. He couldn’t pretend her leaving didn’t bother him…didn’t tie his insides up in knots. So he’d worked with the horses, and hadn’t even bothered to eat lunch.
Midmorning, Annie had come out to the barn to tell him that their neighbor Gladys was picking her up after church to take her strawberry picking. He’d waited just inside the doors and watched, hoping to catch a glimpse of Maddy saying a final goodbye to his daughter. But she’d stayed in the house.
Then he’d hung out in the barn the rest of the afternoon, thinking Maddy would come say goodbye to him, but she hadn’t. He wondered if she was staying until Annie returned. Regardless, all this waiting was eating him up inside.
I should have never gone on that damn picnic with the girls.
It was no use trying to kid himself into thinking what he felt for Maddy was simple lust. Purely physical. His heart had jumped into the game. How much of his heart, he wasn’t sure. He just hoped like hell Maddy’s leaving today wouldn’t tear the sensitive organ from his chest. He took a deep breath, then exhaled forcibly. Maybe she expected an apology from him before she left.
He hadn’t used much finesse when he’d turned down her invitation in the barn last night. She’d caught him off guard when she’d mentioned her two weeks were up, and he’d panicked.
His body had wanted to jump at her offer. But his mind put up a fuss at the last second. He’d never been around a woman like Maddy before. A well-educated-money-making-knows-what-she-wants-and-goes-and-gets-it kind of woman. He was a simple, nothing-to-fuss-over cowboy…with enough baggage to fill a plane. Most of the time he felt as if he had two left feet around her.
Maddy might believe she only wanted a quick roll in the hay, but no matter how bold and brassy she acted, she wasn’t the kind of woman to sleep with a man unless she felt something for him. After being dumped by her fiancé, Jake hated that his rejection might have made her doubt herself even more. He had to explain it was nothing personal.
Yeah, right. Like she’ll really believe you?
He’d make her believe him. He’d tell her he’d messed up so badly with Sara that she was better off not getting involved with him. Besides, she was too special to waste herself on a guy like him.
He removed his Stetson and wiped his dusty shirtsleeve across his sweaty forehead. Aw, hell. It would be so much easier if she hadn’t already gotten to him…deep inside. Making him want things he didn’t deserve.
Before he could change his mind again, he marched up to the house, only to find the kitchen empty and Maddy’s packed duffel bag by the door. He removed his boots in the mudroom, then padded through the house, pausing in each doorway as if he expected to find her. What he found was a spanking-clean house. Not a speck of dust on the furniture. The carpets had been vacuumed. And stacks of his and Annie’s laundered clothes sat neatly on the stairs, ready to be put away. Feeling like scum, he took the stairs two at a time. When he reached the top landing, country music filtered into the hallway from under the closed guest-bedroom door.
If he was dead set on apologizing, the least he could do was take a shower first. She might forgive him if he smelled better than a ripe cow pie. Ten minutes later, dressed in a pair of jeans and nothing else, he stepped out of the bathroom, then froze.
Maddy stood in the hallway, her green eyes wary, her expression reserved. Her pretty, red hair hung loose around her shoulders, slightly tousled, as if she were going out on a date. She looked younger than her twenty-five years, sexy and so out of his league it hurt to look at her.
He stared at her body, ignoring the little zing that shot through him at the sight of her in jeans and a tight T-shirt. Then he spotted ten glossy pink toenails peeping out from under the blue denim. Jeez, even her toes were sexy.
“Annie should be home soon,” he mumbled, not knowing where to begin, feeling like a clumsy fool.
Her gaze settled on something down at the end of the hall. “Gladys asked if Annie wanted a sleepover with some of her friends.”
Oh, hell.
“She’s bringing her back tomorrow before supper.”
Oh, double hell. A sweat broke out across his forehead and a slow throb started in his groin.
“I should be going now.” She turned toward the stairs.
“Wait.” She stopped, her hand resting lightly on the railing, her back to him. He supposed he deserved her back.
“I owe you an apology. For last night. I had no right to—”
“Don’t.” She spun around, her hair lifting off her shoulders before settling in waves around her face. “It doesn’t matter.”
She might want him to believe it didn’t matter, but the hurt in her voice and the defensive tilt of her chin were dead giveaways. He shoved a hand through his wet hair, hating that he was the cause of her pain.
He hadn’t realized he’d moved, but there he stood, gazing into a pair of the most incredible green eyes he’d ever seen. How had he missed the tiny flecks of gold ringing the pupils, making her eyes glow with warmth? She amazed him. Awed him. So much fire, such emotion. Her scented heat pulled at him, tempting him even closer.
He’d tried to ignore this attraction between them for two weeks. He’d tried to ignore the sultry scent of her womanly body, permeating every room in the house—even finding its way under the crack of his bedroom door, keeping him awake until the early-morning hours. He’d tried to ignore her smile, her laugh, her touch. Her everything.
Well, damn it, he was tired of trying.
He cupped her face, and when she didn’t bat his hand away, he smoothed a calloused thumb over the dark shadow under one eye.
He wanted to haul her into his arms, lose himself in her heat. But he held back, knowing that this woman was capable of reducing him to a pile of smoldering ash.
He slid his hand down the warm skin of her slender neck, then pressed a fingertip to the pounding pulse at the base of her throat. Maddy was so real, so vibrant, so alive.
He stared at her face, terrified of the damage he knew she’d inflict upon his soul, his heart.
She set her palm against his chest, her touch searing his skin. Desire and need swam in the two green pools that gazed up at his face.
Would a man like him be enough for a woman like her?
Yes! His pure male pride roared.
He moved closer, his chest brushing the white lettering across the front of her T-shirt. Her nipples pebbled and he stared, awed by how her body reacted to his. With one cautious step after another he guided her away from the stairs and backed her up
against the wall.
Bracing his hands beside her head, he leaned in, then paused, their ragged breaths mingling and dancing between them. “I want you, Maddy. Bad. Since the first moment I saw you stuck to my fence. But I can’t give you more than once, more than right now. Right here.”
Her gaze dropped, and his body clenched as if he’d been gut-kicked. Then her hand settled against his hip. Inch by inch, she lifted her mouth to his. Relief that she wasn’t turning him away made his legs shake, and he had to lock his knees to keep from falling at her feet.
The first tentative brush of her lips across his turned his heart upside down. Her mouth clung to his, her lashes fluttering against his cheeks like butterfly wings.
When her nails dug into his pectorals, he sank his mouth deeper into hers, his tongue delving inside, stroking the wet sweetness until he was convinced he’d never tasted anything so right, so perfect.
He pressed against her, chest, hips, thighs, letting her feel all of him, how every inch of his body burned for her. He told himself to go slow. To be gentle. But her passion, her enthusiastic response, made it impossible. The thrill of having an eager, willing woman in his arms drove him dangerously close to insanity.
She took everything he gave and asked for more. She wasn’t afraid of him, his strength, his desire, his need. And God help him, he needed her. He was afraid to admit how much this woman had come to mean to him in such a short time.
One kiss. Only one kiss and already she made him feel like a man. Her touch, the mewling sounds that vibrated in her throat, the way her fingers tensed against his flesh, brought to the surface desires and emotions he’d buried deep inside after marrying Sara. For Sara’s sake he’d denied himself. How could he have ever thought he could live the rest of his life without this kind of intimacy?
Without Maddy.
Whoa, slow down, buddy. This is a onetime deal. Don’t complicate things by trying to make it more than it is.
He held her face between his hands and feasted on her mouth. God, he loved her mouth. He gently bit the fleshy center of her lower lip, then soothed the redness with his tongue. He nuzzled her dimples, then had to kiss her mouth again. He couldn’t remember ever spending this much time just kissing.
A deep shudder racked his body, when she rubbed her bare foot along the back of his calf. He let go of her head and grappled with the hem of her T-shirt. His fingers slid under, gliding over her trim waist. He soothed his hands upward, exploring the slight indent of each rib, stopping only when he bumped the edge of her coarse cotton bra. While his fingers traced the outer swell of each breast, his mouth trailed kisses down her neck. “You’re so beautiful.”
He pulled his hands out from under her shirt and tugged her fumbling fingers from the front of his jeans. He leaned forward, resting his head against the wall, trying like hell to slow his raging hormones. His harsh breathing mocked the country ballad about love and commitment filtering into the hallway.
“Please, Jake. Please don’t stop.”
Her raw plea brought his head up. Fear of rejection shimmered in her eyes. To hell with him and his hang-ups. Lifting her into his arms, he crossed the hall in two strides and entered his bedroom, shouldering the door shut. He set her down next to the bed. Before he could remind her that this was nothing more than simple, uncomplicated sex between two consenting adults, her lips against his mouth promised to prove him a liar.
Her eagerness urged him to do his damnedest to make it good for her. For them. To erase the pain and hurt from both their pasts.
Her hands scorched his skin, fanning out over his chest and down his stomach. When one finger dipped inside the waistband of his B.V.D.s, he clamped a hand around her wrist and held his breath.
“What’s wrong, Jake?” Her quiet voice squeezed him like a loving hug.
He didn’t know where to begin. “I want this to be good for you.”
She nuzzled her head under his chin and wrapped her arms around his waist. “It will be.”
He held her to him, fearing the look on her face when he admitted his lack of prowess in bed. “Maddy, it’s been a long time for me.”
“That’s okay.”
He hugged her harder. “No, it’s not okay. I don’t have a clue what a woman like you expects in bed.”
She struggled against his hold and he finally relented and dropped his arms. She touched his cheek, forcing him to look her in the eye. He should have figured she wouldn’t let him off the hook easily.
“What do you mean, ‘a woman like me’?”
He expelled a long breath. ‘Maddy, the only women I’ve slept with over the years have been buckle bunnies. Immature, flighty, self-centered girls. I don’t know the first thing about what a classy, sophisticated woman like you needs from a man in bed.”
“Oh, Jake,” she sighed against his mouth. “Everything you do pleases me.”
He was lost—something, he was beginning to understand, her kisses would always make him feel. Being with Maddy almost made him believe he could forgive himself and let go of the past. Now, how insane was that? He smoothed a hand over her wild red mane. Maddy was real, vibrant, alive.
And she scared him spitless.
It was hell to admit he was afraid of this woman.
Afraid of what she made him feel. Really feel, deep down inside, beyond physical gratification.
“Slow down, honey.” He coaxed her arms around his neck. “I can’t promise that—”
“I don’t need promises. I need you.”
He shut up. No use talking if she wouldn’t listen. With unsteady hands he tugged the T-shirt up and over her head, then let it drop to the floor behind her. Then he just stared. How could her breasts look so damn sexy in a contraption that resembled a horse harness more than a woman’s bra? He felt a twinge of regret that Coot didn’t stock lace and satin underthings for women. He’d love to see Maddy in black lace.
Her nipples beaded against the white cotton, begging for his mouth. His hands. He aimed to please.
Cupping both mounds, he feasted on the hard peaks, laving and sucking the sweet little tips through the rough cotton. Her back arched, and she offered herself up like a pagan goddess. Her moans and sighs urged him on, reassuring him that she liked his mouth on her.
Wanting only her softness against his lips, he tugged and pulled until her breasts popped free. There was so much of her. He nuzzled the plush mounds, never dreaming he’d ever hold such an incredibly beautiful woman in his arms.
She was more than he deserved, and he feared more than he could handle.
With a flick of his finger, he unhooked the bra and let it slide down between their bodies, where it landed on his bare foot. Then he wrapped his arms around her and hauled her up against his chest, savoring the sensation of their beating hearts melding. Savoring her scent, her warmth. Her closeness.
He could have held her forever, but her hips moved impatiently against his arousal and his tenuous control slipped a heck of a lot more than a notch. Her lips seemed to be everywhere at once. His face, his shoulders, his neck. When she sucked on the end of his ear, he thought his head would pop clean off and hit the ceiling.
She touched him as though she couldn’t get enough of his body. Heady stuff for a man whose former wife had once looked at him with revulsion in her eyes.
His fingers dug into Maddy’s narrow waist. He was afraid of where her mouth would go next, yet even more afraid to stop her. When she nuzzled his belly, he set her from him and made quick work of stripping off her Wrangler’s and white granny briefs.
He tumbled her to the bed. Followed her down, sliding his body along hers. For a long moment, lips, mouths, hands, arms and legs tangled and moved with urgency.
She sighed in his ear as her fingers fumbled with the zipper on his jeans. He trapped her hand against the front of his fly. “Not yet, darlin’. I plan on taking my time with you first.”
The little hitch in her breath went a long way in easing his raw nerves.
H
e sprawled across the bottom of the bed and started at her feet. Tracing the curve of her arch, kissing the delicate bones in her ankles, caressing her smooth calf. Then he leaned over and gently kissed her sore knees before sliding his hands up the firm length of her thighs.
He never would have believed touching a woman slowly, carefully, gently could be so satisfying, so intimate. He knew that what he was about to share with Maddy was something he’d never find again with another woman. Something that was theirs only to cherish. Something he’d tuck away in the corner of his heart to treasure the rest of his life.
He caressed her belly, watching as her eyes glazed over. When he slid a hand between her thighs and touched her warmth, her back arched off the bed and her fingers threaded through his hair, tugging at the strands. Her uninhibited response threatened his composure, and his chest tightened at her unvoiced trust.
He pressed tender kisses against her belly and gently curved hips. Then he raised his head and stared into her eyes, waiting, wondering if she’d allow him the kind of intimacy with her body he craved. A feminine smile flirted at the corners of her mouth, then she pressed her fingers against the back of his head.
He shuddered with joy at his first taste of ambrosia. Her body twisted under him. He gave her everything she asked for and more, desperately wanting to make her come apart in his arms.
It didn’t take long until she surrendered to him. He stayed with her through each tremor, each sob.
A fierce sense of pride tightened his chest at the pleasure he’d been able to give her. That his body hadn’t found fulfillment didn’t matter. He gathered her in his arms and held her close, rubbing his hands along her curves. “Maddy, you amaze me.”
She leaned over him, her hair falling around his face, over his chest. He lifted his mouth to hers. Tried to tell her without words what her trust meant to him. How bringing her pleasure made him feel bigger than life. He could only imagine what it would be like when he was finally inside her. Surrounded by her warmth, her fire.
The Cowboy and the Bride Page 10