MADELINE RUBBED her cheek against the expanse of smooth, tanned muscle her head rested on.
Jake.
She purred in contentment and slipped a leg between his scratchy denim-clad limbs. The feel of the rough material reminded her that things had been a little one-sided a few minutes ago. She lifted her knee higher, nudging the hardness straining at the zipper. His body tensed and his smooth chest hardened into granite beneath her cheek.
His fingers tightened against her back a second before sliding sensuously over her bottom, down her thigh, then up again, curving around her right breast, where it stayed, gently thumbing the nipple.
“Mmm.” She wiggled closer. “Your turn now.”
He grinned. “Maddy, you’re more than I bargained for. I don’t know if I can handle any more.”
Lord, this man was good for her heart. Afraid her voice would betray her shaky emotions, she opted for showing instead of telling. She levered herself up and slid her mouth over his. She loved Jake’s mouth.
His loving touch had reached deep inside her. She’d never lost herself so completely the way she had in Jake’s arms moments ago. “Mmm.” She pressed her hips provocatively against him.
A deep groan rumbled through his chest a moment before he flipped her under him. “Once I’m inside you, Maddy, I won’t… I don’t think I can—”
“Shh.”
He hesitated only a second before fumbling with his jeans and B.V.D.s. Madeline smiled at his obvious excitement and enthusiasm. He flung his clothing to the bottom of the bed, then grappled for protection in the nightstand drawer.
She watched him roll on the condom. His size startled her, and he must have caught her reaction, because his hand paused midway through the process. “It’s okay if you’ve changed your mind, Maddy.”
She trailed one finger down the length of him. “No. I want you.”
He finished rolling on the condom. But instead of gathering her in his arms, he stared at the pillow beneath her head. For a moment she feared he was thinking of his dead wife.
Madeline wanted no ghosts in bed with them. She wished she knew what Jake needed from her now. How to help him through this. Lifting her head, she softly kissed his heart.
The faraway look in his eyes vanished, replaced with gleaming heat as he pulled her to him. With one hard thrust he was inside her.
Sliding her hands over his muscled buttocks, she clung for dear life. He rode her hard. Wild, tender. Fast, slow. What he lacked in finesse he made up for in enthusiasm. Madeline let Jake do with her what he would, mesmerized by his astonishing delight in her body.
It didn’t last long, but then, he’d warned her it wouldn’t. With one more wild thrust he shouted his release into the pillow beneath her ear. He hugged her tightly, his sweat-slicked chest heaving and sliding against her breasts.
Something near Madeline’s heart shifted and moved.
After a minute or two, his breathing quieted and he rolled away, bringing her with him, snuggling her to his side. She kissed his jaw, then his chin and finally his mouth.
“Maddy.” His lips brushed hers. “That was more than incredible.”
Her heart smiled. She, too, believed that what they had just shared could have only happened between them and not anyone else. She believed. Her heart believed.
Which changed everything. Yet nothing.
Chapter Seven
A cloud of dust billowed up on the horizon, and Jake stepped outside the barn to watch Gladys Winston’s old Dodge bump along the ranch road. She was bringing Annie back from the sleepover.
Maddy was up at the house right now, waiting to say goodbye to Annie. After a night of mind-blowing sex with the redheaded spitfire, the prospect of Maddy walking away from him and his daughter was burning a hole in Jake’s gut.
Breakfast had been stressful. Sitting at the table, watching her nibble on toast as if they hadn’t just devoured each other in the shower minutes earlier, had been awkward as hell. He’d tried to eat, but his upset stomach had revolted at the food. He’d settled for guzzling coffee.
Neither of them had mentioned her leaving. To Jake’s way of thinking, there was nothing to discuss. They both knew that today was the day. Which had made it so damn difficult not to drag her back upstairs and have his way with her again. But, miserable coward that he was, he hadn’t had the guts.
Then the phone had rung and his upset stomach developed an ulcer. Little Bear had called to tell him he wasn’t returning until late September. So he was on his own with the horses.
As Gladys’s car drew nearer, Jake left the shadows of the barn to meet Annie and Gladys by the front porch. Jake cringed as he considered his daughter’s reaction to her nanny hitting the road. Annie hopped out of the back seat and headed straight for him with the biggest, happiest smile he’d seen in a long time. Now that he thought about it, Annie had been smiling a lot lately. And he knew the reason.
Maddy.
He opened his arms, and Annie vaulted into them. Caught up in her good mood, he twirled her around in the air and chuckled. “Maybe I ought to go pick strawberries if it’ll make me this happy.”
“Daddy, Mrs. Winston let Becky, Julia, Emily and me sleep on the floor and we ate popcorn and watched movies until ten o’clock.”
“Ten o’clock?” Jake tried to look outraged, but his daughter saw through his bluster and giggled.
“Yep. And Mrs. Winston braided our hair, and we had matching ribbons. See?” She held her braids up like Pippi Longstocking’s.
Gladys smiled as she got out the driver’s side of the vehicle and shut the door. “Annie was a delightful guest.”
Jake propped his daughter on his hip. “It was generous of you to allow the girls a sleepover.”
“She said she’d never had one, and well, with Sara gone now, sometimes fathers don’t think of those things.”
The comment sliced through Jake and felt like a criticism.
He set Annie on the ground. “Did you bring your overnight bag back?”
Annie nodded.
“Why don’t you get your stuff and go say hello to Maddy. She missed you last night.”
“I can’t wait to show her my toenails. Mrs. Winston painted ladybugs on them.” She ran back to the car, removed a canvas bag, then stopped in front of Gladys. “You’re the best, Mrs. Winston.” She flung her arms around the older woman’s legs and squeezed hard.
Gladys laughed in delight and returned the hug. “We’ll do it again sometime before the summer’s over.”
“Did you hear that, Daddy? We get to have another sleepover.”
“Yeah, I heard. Now, get inside.” When Jake glanced at the house, he spotted Maddy in the doorway. How long had she been there? Why hadn’t she come out to greet Gladys? After spending long hours making love to Maddy, he’d thought he’d be able to understand her better, but the opposite was true. The closer he got to her the less he could read her mind.
“Jake.”
He looked at Gladys.
“I’m old enough to be your mother, so I have no qualms about sticking my nose into your business.” She softened the remark with a smile. “Everyone in town is asking about that bride you found out on your property.”
“Ms. Tate?” He felt like a phony, using Maddy’s proper name.
“I’m not one to pay much attention to gossip. Lord knows my four boys caused enough ruckus in this town to keep the rumor mills churning while they grew up.”
“What’s your point, Gladys?” He felt like a teenager being lectured for some unknown wrongdoing.
“I assume the woman’s just passing through?”
“That’s right. She’s leaving today.” Jake winced at the sudden stitch in his side.
“Good. I’m worried that Annie’s getting too attached to her. All she talked about was her nanny. She told the other girls she had her very own fairy-tale princess living with her and someday her father would marry the princess and they’d live happily ever after.”
Pr
incess? After last night he’d be more inclined to describe Maddy as a siren. He stared the older woman straight in the eye and ignored the heat rising up his neck. “There’s nothing serious going on between Ms. Tate and me. And if there was, it certainly wouldn’t be anybody’s business.”
She touched his arm. “No one’s saying you don’t deserve some happiness, Jake. But you should be careful for Annie’s sake. She’s very vulnerable. It took her a long time to come around after losing Sara. I’ve never seen her this happy since before her mother got sick.” Gladys dropped her hand from his arm.
He’d had all the advice he could stomach. “I’ve got work to do. Thanks again for showing Annie a good time.”
“My pleasure.” She hesitated at the car door. “If you get in a bind with Annie, call me.”
“Thanks, I will.” Jake watched his neighbor drive away, wondering what the hell to do. Damn. He should have known his daughter would look to Maddy as a replacement mother. Why hadn’t he seen it happening?
Because you were so wrapped up in your own feelings for Maddy that you were blind to anyone else’s. Shame filled him.
He removed his hat and smacked it against his thigh. His neighbor was right about one thing. Annie had suffered greatly after Sara died. He’d hate to see his daughter go through something like that again. He glanced at the house. He’d better go inside and see if Maddy needed help getting her things together.
At the thought of her leaving he flinched. Everything in him wanted her to stay. In all his twenty-seven years he hadn’t fallen for a woman the way he’d fallen for Maddy. His Maddy.
He closed his eyes and pictured the serene expression on her face after they’d made love for the third time last night. He could almost feel her fingers sift through his hair, her hands stroke his back and shoulders, her sigh ripple across his neck.
Ah, hell. Sometimes life just plain sucked.
He didn’t bother removing his dusty boots when he entered the house. Just stood in the kitchen doorway, soaking up the sight of Maddy at the sink, peeling potatoes.
Her sassy little fanny twitched and swayed to the rock ’n’ roll tune playing on the kitchen radio. Like every other day, she wore her hair up in a ponytail, showing off her beautiful neck. He cleared his throat. “Where’s Annie?”
She tossed an inviting smile over her shoulder. “She’s upstairs unpacking her bag.”
He wanted to move across the room and press his mouth to hers. Lose himself in her one more time. But he didn’t dare. Instead, he leaned against the doorjamb and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I was wondering if you’d said goodbye to Annie yet.”
She went so still he couldn’t tell if she was even breathing.
His gut clenched. “Gladys said Annie’s getting real attached to you.” He shifted from one boot to the other and took a deep breath. “Anyway, I wanted to make sure you still planned on leaving today. I think it’s best…for Annie.”
The potato in Maddy’s hand slipped, hitting the bottom of the sink with a loud thud. Her chest rose and fell in one long deep breath, then she faced him. “But I thought after…”
The wounded look in her eyes reminded him of an abused animal.
It was clear that she’d thought things had changed between them. And they had. But he couldn’t let her know that. Not when there wasn’t a chance in hell of happy ever after for them.
He wanted to shout at the unfairness of life. Instead, he stared into her beautiful, hurting green eyes. “If I didn’t have Annie.” Remorse slammed into him. He loved Annie. He didn’t regret having to raise her. But he was only human, and sometimes he wondered how different his life would be if he hadn’t married Sara.
A mask of indifference slid over Maddy’s face. He might have been stung by it if he hadn’t seen the flash of hurt in her eyes moments before. Her chin lifted. “I don’t suppose I can change your mind?”
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Embarrassed, he glanced away and coughed. “No.”
She set the potato peeler down and wiped her hands on a towel, each movement jerky and unsure. “Fine. There’re a couple of things I need to get in town before I drive back to Seattle.”
He gave up the fight to keep his distance and moved across the room. Standing before her, he willed her to look at him. She refused. He wished he knew what to say. Wished he had the courage to tell her what she meant to him. Wished…ah, hell. He wished for things he couldn’t have. Didn’t deserve.
When she attempted to move past him, he touched her arm and swallowed the feeling of hopelessness clogging his throat. “Maddy.” Finally, she lifted her face, and the naked agony in her eyes made his own burn.
She pressed her fingertip to his lips, and the simple touch almost brought him to his knees. She sniffed once, grabbed her purse and keys from the counter, then left the house without a backward glance.
He barely had time to regroup before Annie clomped down the stairs and skidded to a halt inside the kitchen doorway. “Where’s Maddy going?”
He almost chickened out, but the innocent expression on his daughter’s face shamed him. She deserved a better father than him. “Sit down, Annie. We have to talk.”
Her lower lip jutted out. “I’m hungry.”
Jake glanced at the clock, wondering where the afternoon had gone. He had no idea what Madeline had planned for supper besides the potatoes sitting in the sink. “How about a snack?”
She pulled out a chair and crawled onto it. “Okay, but I don’t want cookies.”
He swallowed a sigh of relief. Maybe this would be easier than he thought. “How about a bowl of cereal?”
She wrinkled her nose.
“Okay. Scrambled eggs?”
The wrinkle got deeper.
He shoved a hand through his hair and scowled. “Ice cream?”
“No.”
The quiet whisper twisted his gut. He forced his face muscles to relax. He felt like a heel for letting his frustration show. It wasn’t Annie’s fault Maddy had him tied in knots. “Nah. I’m kind of tired of ice cream.”
Some of the wariness left her eyes. “You are?”
He forced a smile and patted his stomach. “Yeah, it’s making me fat. How about a club sandwich?”
“What’s that?”
“Ham, turkey, lettuce, tomato—”
“Yuck!” She pinched her nose as she slid off the chair. “I can make us a snack.”
Jake stood in the middle of the kitchen while Annie whirled around him like a minitornado. In less than a minute, she had the ingredients for peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches set out on the counter.
“Beep, beep.” Annie grabbed the back of one of the table chairs and dragged it to the counter. “Maddy showed me how to make Christmas-tree samiches.”
The last thing he wanted was a gummy peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, but he was powerless against the eager light in his daughter’s eyes and the enthusiasm in her voice. “Sure.”
Feeling useless, he seated himself at the table. Annie reached for a paper towel and almost teetered off the chair. He opened his mouth to caution her but stopped. It seemed all he ever did was tell Annie what she should and shouldn’t do.
He realized, as he watched her deftly wield a butter knife, that the five-year-old was more capable than he’d given her credit for. If she had to, he realized, she could probably take care of herself all day while he worked with the horses. For a moment, pride filled him at her show of independence. But the feeling was short-lived.
When had Annie learned not to depend on him?
Despair ate at him. Maybe his daughter no longer needed him. Annie had paid a higher price than he’d been aware of when her mother died.
He cleared his throat. “So you had a good time at Mrs. Winston’s?”
“Yeah. She said I could call her ‘Grandma Winston.’” Annie glanced over her shoulder, and her tiny white teeth sank into her lower lip. “Is that okay?”
Mrs. Winston was the closet thing to a grandma h
is daughter would ever know. His own parents were dead and Sara’s parents wanted nothing to do with the off-spring of a rapist. “Sure, you can call her grandma. I bet she likes that.”
Annie’s smile loosened some of the knots inside him. “Grandma Winston said girls are prettier and smell better than boys.” She giggled. “Emily wet her pants when we was playing tag outside, but we didn’t laugh at her. Then I accidentally dropped a plate of chocolate-chip cookies, and Barney the dog ate them all, then threw up on Grandma Winston’s foot. I thought she was gonna get real mad, but she laughed.”
As Jake listened halfheartedly to Annie describe the previous night’s activities, he wondered how to approach the subject of Madeline’s impending departure. When Annie paused to take a deep breath, he blurted out, “Maddy’s leaving today, Annie.”
She stared at him, eyes round, face pale.
He winced at the less-than-tactful approach.
“Make her stay, Daddy. Please.”
Her whispered plea cut through him. When her lower lip wobbled, he pushed back the chair, crossed the kitchen and gathered her into his arms. Annie snuggled against his chest and sniffled. It wasn’t often he and his daughter hugged like this. Her small body trembled against him, and he admitted he could use the hug as much as she could. Stroking her silky brown hair, he forced the words out of his mouth, recognizing they weren’t what she wanted to hear. “Maddy has to go home, honey. She has family and a job waiting for her.”
Annie lifted her head. “Uh-uh. She said her daddy’s on a trip right now, and just like me, her mommy died when she was little.”
Died? God, when it came to Maddy there was still so much he wasn’t aware of. No wonder she’d become attached so quickly to his daughter. They had more in common than he realized. He rubbed a hand down his face. “She has her own home to get back to, honey.”
Annie grabbed the front of his shirt, shaking her head. “She doesn’t got a home no more.”
“What?”
“She said she gave her ’partment away ’cause she was ’pposed to live somewhere else.”
The Cowboy and the Bride Page 11