Uncle Dust

by Rob Pierce

  I saw a Vacancy sign, pulled into the lot. The place looked sleazy. Good. It’d be cheap, and if anyone broke in I could take care of myself. Even after the five beers I took into my room.

  ***

  I beat the shit out of people all morning. Hungover and pissed off, that was how I collected Tenny’s money. Threatening their cars was more efficient, but that wasn’t the mood I was in. A left hook to the gut shut the man up. A right to the chin as he fell took care of any remaining doubt. For him. I stood there and wondered who I hated enough to punch that hard.

  I made the evening payoff with Rico and went straight to The Wheel. Olive handed me a pint as I sat down. “And a shot?” she said.

  My left hand tapped the bar in assent. She turned and reached up for my scotch. The stretch pulled her shirt up from where it had hung below her hips, showed some lower back and the exact fit of her tight jeans. I wanted to jump across the bar.

  She set down the scotch.

  “I can’t sit and watch you all night,” I said. “I’ll come back at closing.”

  She looked confused. “You want this and a check?”

  “I been gone a long time. I’ll go crazy lookin at you.”

  That made her smile. “Don’t get drunk somewhere else. Come back for me sober.”

  Or I won’t come back at all. Fucking women telling me what to do. I drank and didn’t say a goddamned thing. But god she looked good when her back was turned.

  ***

  I needed a shower and a change of clothes so I drove back to Theresa’s. Parked outside the building and knew this was a bad idea. She might take me back, but not so I could leave right away. Not without a helluva fight. Fuck it, I was going in and I was going out.

  I unlocked the door and walked into the apartment. The light was on in the kitchen but no one was there, or in the living room. I was headed to the back anyway, to the bathroom and the bedroom. I’d find out when I got there whether I was changing clothes or packing them.

  Theresa sat up in bed, set down a book. “You here or not?”

  Sounded like packing words. “I’m taking a shower.” I opened dresser drawers, picked out a change of clothes, took them into the bathroom.

  She was up and behind me, gaining ground. I didn’t bother trying to shut the bathroom door.

  “Then what?”

  I dropped my clean clothes on the floor, took off my shirt and dropped it beside them. “Then I put on some clothes that don’t stink.”

  I unsnapped my pants. “And then I’m getting drunk.” I let the pants drop to the floor. “You want in on any of this, let me know.”

  “I can drink,” she said, softly. She looked at the floor. “I don’t know with you.”

  “Yeah, well.” I reached one hand into the shower, turned on the water, checked it and turned the knob until it was right, stepped in. “I’m in here if you need me.”

  “You’re in there. I’m out here. That’s how much I need you.”

  She walked out of the room and shut the door.

  ***

  I toweled myself dry, put on my clean pants and walked into the bedroom holding my shirt.

  Theresa sat up in bed and glared at me, like she’d been glaring at the door the whole time I showered. “If you go anywhere, you ain’t coming back.”

  I looked at her. “How do I stay?” I walked to the closet, grabbed a suitcase, and put it on the foot of the bed. She got up and I filled it with clothes.

  She stood next to me. “Don’t be an asshole.”

  I looked down at her bare feet, looked back up and stopped at her face. “Too late for that.”

  “Mom?” I heard the voice outside the door to the hall.

  “Mom?” Jeremy stepped in. “Are you—” He saw me and stopped. He looked at the suitcase, looked at me again. “But—you can’t go. You said it makes sense to leave assholes. We’re not assholes.” He clenched his fists, stepped toward me. “My mom’s not an asshole.”

  He was tiny, he looked like someone I should laugh at. Instead I turned and faced him, brought my hands up like we were boxing and I needed to protect my face. “No,” I said softly, “she’s not.”

  Jeremy took another step toward me, one foot back slightly farther than the other, positioned to throw a punch. “You’re supposed to be people like us.”

  “Yeah, well,” I said, “sometimes I’m the asshole.”

  “No,” Jeremy said. He blinked a couple times and took another step. Then another step, faster, his knees bent. He popped up with a left jab and it was all I could do to block it as he stepped back and covered up.

  “Wow,” Theresa said. “You taught him that?”

  I didn’t answer, watched the boy bob as he circled to his right. He wasn’t strong enough to hurt me but there was no reason to let him hit me either. I stepped in his direction, crouched and covered up.

  “What are you doing?” Theresa asked, fear in her voice.

  Jeremy bounded back the other way like if he got in a little closer the next left might land. But I had more range and more power. I stepped where he stepped, tried to tempt the next jab.

  I flicked a punch out there, well short, and pulled it back quick. Theresa gasped but I’d missed by half a foot. It would have landed if I wanted it to.

  Jeremy should have known that, but maybe it was close enough he felt like he was in a fight, thought he had a chance. He took one step to the left and feinted, then stepped to the right and threw a left at my chin.

  I ducked low as I could and barreled forward, caught him under both arms and lifted him over my head and spun.

  “Aaaahhh!” he yelled. Theresa screamed. They made similar sounds but Jeremy’s soon turned to delight and went suddenly silent.

  I raised Jeremy higher then brought him down to my chest and tossed him onto the bed. He lay silent on his belly a second then burst into a giggle.

  I stood there empty armed with Theresa beside me. Jeremy rolled over, all smiles for both of us. My suitcase sat open, already full.

  I shut it, picked it up.

  “But—” Jeremy said.

  “He told the truth.” Theresa looked at Jeremy, then at me. “Sometimes, he is an asshole.”

  She joined Jeremy on the bed.

  I shook my head and walked out the door.

  ***

  Still too early to go to The Wheel, but my stuff was in the trunk and I was going somewhere. When I got to Olive I’d know what I wanted, but not until then. The dwarf: I’d go after him no matter what Tenny said, except now I thought he wasn’t the guy I wanted. And Val might not need me anymore, was too far away regardless. I was out of people to protect. If a bank I knew was open, I’d rob it.

  I parked a mile short of where I usually would. I’d walk to Olive, work my way through the night. I wouldn’t do anything to get locked up, but I wouldn’t duck a fight if one came my way. This end of the neighborhood was bad, but I didn’t worry about myself. I thought about all the dings on my car and I didn’t worry about it either. It was a nice car with street cred. God I wanted someone to fuck with me.

  I walked slow and easy, felt the cold night on my face but my leather jacket kept it off the rest of me. There were men on some corners, women on others, dealers and thugs and whores. They all made their offers, but I didn’t want to party. It was still too crowded for muggings, or I looked too dangerous or too poor. Whatever the reason, I was halfway to Olive and the thugs let me walk.

  I couldn’t slow down; I was at minimum speed already. I sped up. There was no point, no one was going to try to mug me. I’d spent my whole life becoming someone you didn’t want to fuck with, it was hard to change that look now. Maybe I was in the wrong neighborhood, maybe I should wear some bling. Fuck it, I was walking to Olive, and I wanted someone to come at me, and maybe that wanting was enough to keep them away. I didn’t know, I just walked. I didn’t know much about this woman except she was younger than me with legs worth climbing. I’d never wanted to stick around with her and now for
a while I’d try. The fantasy was about to go away.

  ***

  Almost to The Wheel—I wasn’t sure I should keep going. I’d turned my back on too many people. Val and Theresa and Jeremy. Considering how few people I knew, that seemed like a lot. If I turned back now, me and Theresa might work something out. And Val would eventually stop being pissed off, love was a thing you weren’t supposed to stay in. Hell, they should all be done with me. I hadn’t done anything wrong and I wasn’t about to change how I lived.

  I walked into The Wheel. It was Thursday night, not late. A few groups ate at tables; a few stools propped up drunks at the bar. I didn’t know what I wanted from Olive long term, but I knew what I wanted right now. “A scotch and a beer.”

  She turned her head over her shoulder and saw me, filled a drink tray for a waitress and strolled down my way. She poured my beer, set it in front of me. “You’re early.”

  I shrugged.

  “You could say somethin nice,” she said, “how you couldn’t stay away.”

  “I’m here, ain’t I?”

  She turned and pulled my brand down off the shelf, poured my scotch. She held it in front of me a second, didn’t set it down. I took it from her, our fingers barely touching, and tossed the whole thing back.

  I set the empty glass on the bar. “I could use a scotch.”

  She filled the glass again. “You here to pick me up or drive me away?”

  I took the new scotch and drank it as fast as the first. “One more.”

  “Jesus, Dust, why take it out on me?”

  “Take what out? Go on, pour.”

  She poured. “Whatever pissed you off. Sure as hell wasn’t me.”

  I nodded. She was right. I wasn’t pissed at Olive but I was pissed. I drank from my beer. “I don’t know why. Life’s good, right?”

  She looked at me like she was trying to figure me out, but I didn’t know what I was saying so how could she?

  “Olivia!” A little guy at the end of the bar hollered and waved, tapped his glass when Olive turned. She looked at me another second and walked away.

  I looked at her and drank. It was hard to see her body in her work clothes but that’s what I was here for.

  ***

  Olive thought I was pissed off, but she was okay with me going back to her place.

  “I can’t leave my car where I parked it,” I said. “I’ll meet you at the apartment.”

  The sidewalks weren’t so crowded after midnight. A lot of the dealers were done for the day, a lot of the hookers were busy. I was buzzed and it was dark and I might have looked dangerous but I didn’t feel as good about walking as I had before. I wasn’t looking for trouble anymore, I was looking for my car.

  I was losing focus and it wasn’t just physical. I was supposed to be there for Val and I wasn’t. I had to know whether I needed Theresa or not and I didn’t. I was supposed to rob banks but I’d become Tenny’s servant. I was lost in a fog and I didn’t even want out. I was fucking tired. I needed a nap, and someone to wake me when this was over.

  My car was several blocks up, and half the streetlights were out, the other half dim. Fucking empty sidewalks. My eyes shot side to side. A guy stepped suddenly next to me and I swung an arm out, caught him across his neck. He staggered back a step and I turned, caught him with a left under the ribs. Just as someone slammed a pistol hard against my temple.

  I dropped. I’d already paid Rico and I’d done my drinking; they might like what was left in my wallet but the bulk of the money was gone. One of them held a gun so I lay there like I was dead. The guy with the pistol emptied my pockets, took my wallet. He glanced at my phone, dropped it on the sidewalk, and smashed it with his boot heel. The other guy picked up my keys and threw them. Motherfuckers.

  I wanted to lie there like I was already dead but I didn’t like the twitchy way the dumbfuck held his pistol. His feet switched one direction to the other, like a flashing sign.

  His buddy stomped a foot on the sidewalk. “Let’s go.”

  “He saw us.”

  I couldn’t reach him where he stood, couldn’t bear the thought of getting killed by this idiot. The pistol pointed down. If I rolled before he raised it…

  “He didn’t see shit. Get your stupid ass over here.”

  The idiot sighed. He wanted to kill a defenseless man. I kept one eye open just enough to see him walk over to his partner. The smarter guy was the one I’d belted in the neck. He stood there stroking his arm across his neck where I’d hit him. It looked like an execution sign, but he was the one showing mercy.

  They walked away, fast then faster. I lay there, glad I didn’t have to open my eye any wider. I raised my head off the sidewalk, opened the other eye the same crack as the first. I saw way too much pavement between me and my car. And I’d have to break in when I got there, drive to Olive and borrow her phone to cancel my credit card. Shit, I couldn’t go to Olive, my credit card info was at Theresa’s. I picked up my smashed phone, in case something in it survived, and dropped it in a coat pocket as I stood. I’d take my car like I was stealing it, and go back to the home I’d abandoned.

  ***

  I crawled a few feet, didn’t like the view, forced myself to stand.

  Olive would be pissed when she didn’t see me but there was nothing to do about that. Same with Theresa when she did see me. The problem was I had to go to Theresa, who normally would see me beaten up and accept me, but maybe not now. Olive would probably give me the poor baby treatment, but only if she saw me soon.

  Women were not supposed to bother me. Hell, nothing was supposed to bother me.

  I lurched forward, hunched over. I was drunk and I staggered, but one didn’t cause the other. I straightened some, took a couple breaths and took a slow step. I’d only been hit in the head, my feet should still move straight. I stopped, took another breath. If I looked weak out here I might get jumped again. I had to get my badass stride back. I took a couple more deep breaths, remembered who I was and walked. Maybe I couldn’t kill the next guy who came at me, but I had to look like I would.

  ***

  I got to my car and stood at the driver’s side window without tools or weapons. I couldn’t even do enough damage to set off the alarm, much less get in quietly. Some fucking criminal I was. I leaned against the car, rested a minute but I had to get out of here.

  I walked. The night was dark and ugly and I walked to Theresa. I hated this, but it wasn’t really a person I was going to, it was a place. I didn’t need any people, didn’t even need the place except it was where I’d left some things. I did not look forward to seeing anyone.

  But I saw Theresa’s face in front of me. I’d put her behind me until the mugging, now I saw her when she wasn’t here.

  I headed back, tired and drunk and beat up, and I still had to work the next day. First I’d cancel my credit card, then I’d get my spare keys and a ride to my car and drive away. I’d owe Theresa one last favor, and we’d both know some things never get paid.

  I reached the front of the building and my hand went in my pocket. Fuck, no keys. What always worked before meant nothing now.

  I pressed her buzzer, waited for her voice. She might be asleep. She’d know who it was. She wouldn’t know why I was here.

  I leaned against the building. I definitely needed a place to lie down. A minute or two and still no answer. I pressed the buzzer again.

  “What?” rasped through the grate.

  “Let me in.”

  “Why?” she rasped again.

  “I need,” I said, but I couldn’t say what. “Let me in.”

  She buzzed and I stumbled to the door and pushed it open. I don’t know how a buzzer can sound reluctant but it did.

  I was inside, home like a rat in a sewer. The stairs would be a strain, but the elevator might make me puke. I found that hand rail and worked it, brought one hand over the other and pulled myself up a step at a time. I was here to take back what was mine and leave again. Neither of us wanted me her
e.

  I reached for the apartment front door and it swung open.

  “You fuck,” Theresa hissed. She saw me and took a step back. She let me in, her voice barely there: “At this hour.”

  “I’m here to cancel my credit card. That’s all.”

  I lumbered in and she stepped back farther.

  “Jesus, Dust. What the fuck.”

  “It ain’t the job.” I swung my shoulders to shake my head, my neck too tight to turn, took another step in. “I got mugged.”

  I had a small box of papers under the bed and I stumbled in that direction. The bedroom was dark. I turned on the overhead light, slid my box out from under the bed, and pulled out a credit card bill. I was on the floor. Theresa stood behind me. I turned my torso to look at her. “I need your phone. Please.”

  She crossed the room, grabbed the phone from her purse and handed it to me.

  “Thanks,” I said. “And if you got any scotch.”

  “Jesus, Dust.”

  “I’d never ask you for anything if they hadn’t fucked me up.”

  She sat on the side of the bed and started to cry. I could reach her knee with my hand but I didn’t. I wanted her but I had to get this shit done. We were done.

  I punched numbers into her phone and stood, walked into the kitchen and poured myself a scotch. She didn’t follow. I went through the press this button for this, press that button for that, until I got to the part where there was an unusual number of callers. Please hold. I sat at the kitchen bar and I held and I drank. I finished a glass and was still on hold, so I poured another and walked back to the bedroom.

  Theresa still sat there but she had stopped crying. “You’re an asshole.”

  I knew I should have rubbed her leg. But it would’ve led to me being a bigger asshole. I knelt down beside her, pulled out the small box and held it under my arm. I should burn all this shit. “I take care of this credit card. Then you’re done with me.”

  She swatted at me backhanded. I pulled my head back but my speed was gone and the slap caught me pretty good.