Jez Butterworth Plays

by Jez Butterworth

  WEST. I thought you never spoke.

  LUE. Who said I never spoke?

  WEST. He said you said...

  LUE. I never said nothing.

  WEST. No but... he said... he said you never spoke.

  LUE. Of course I speak. I just don’t speak to him.

  WEST. Why not?

  LUE. It goes without saying. Where’d you meet him?

  WEST. Today.

  LUE. Where was he?

  WEST. In a field.

  LUE. That’s him. A word of warning. You know the way most people have got a sweet side? He hasn’t. (Beat.) He’s all right. He’s old, in’e? He be lucky he makes it through the winter. He cries in his sleep. And he knitted me a scarf once. He’s a good knitter. You wouldn’t think it, but he can really knit.

  WEST. Why don’t you talk to him?

  LUE. I used to. It didn’t pan out. So I’ve sent him to Coventry. And it’s not far enough. He tell his story?

  WEST. About the badger.

  LUE. Not the badger. How he owns this place.

  WEST. Yes.

  LUE. Embarrassing, isn’t it? Oh yes. He’s got a dozen properties in the area. He’s got a portfolio. He commutes between here and his private island.

  A plane tears over.

  That’s him now. He’s done one. He’s gone to stink up somewhere else. Why are your hands shaking?

  Beat.

  You’re from London, aren’t you?

  WEST. What?

  LUE. I know you. I’ve seen you before. (Beat.) Lots of times...

  WEST. Where?

  LUE. Lots of times. Plymouth. Last spring. You was in the hostel. On Kerry Road. You was in front of me in the queue. They asked you who you was and you said you was from London. You said you was in business. Then over Hexworthy Bridge, first week of August... Out on the moor. You was trying to skin a rabbit. Then a week later, further up river, you was washing your feet on the bank. You had a little camp. Then in Okehampton a month ago. You were drunk out your mind. Screaming at the shoppers. Foaming at the mouth. They called the police but you ran. You ran off. That was you, that was. Then I saw you yesterday.

  WEST. Where?

  LUE. In the fort. You were sitting there. On the parapet. You was crying, muttering to yourself. I come close but I couldn’t hear you. You looked frozen. I went off, into Okehampton. To the pictures, come back and you was still there. You’d stopped gibbering. You was just looking down at the land below as it went dark. Stock-still. Staring. And when I looked out the next morning, you was gone.

  Pause.

  WEST. I’ve seen you too.

  LUE. I don’t doubt it. I’m around.

  WEST. About a month ago. On a bus in Ashburton. You were alone. Your face was cut. You had argument with the driver. He stopped the bus and chucked you off.

  LUE. Have you been abroad?

  WEST. What? Yeah. I’ve been abroad.

  LUE. Where’ve you been?

  WEST. Lots of places.

  LUE. Have you got a passport?

  WEST. Not on me.

  LUE. All you’ve got on you’s dirt, mate. I’m saying before. In London. When you was a businessman. It stands to reason. You went abroad, you had a passport. Did you have a passport?

  WEST. Yes.

  LUE. Did you fill out the form?

  WEST. What?

  LUE. What colour was it?

  WEST. What?

  LUE. What colour was it?

  WEST. I don’t remember.

  LUE. Was it blue?

  WEST. I don’t remember what colour it was.

  LUE. How big was it? How many pages? Did it fold out, like this?

  WEST. I can’t...

  LUE. What? You can’t what?

  WEST. It was a long time ago. What’s the matter?

  LUE. I need help.

  WEST. What you talking about?

  LUE. Filling out forms. A form. I’m going away. I’m going abroad.

  WEST. Where?

  LUE. I got everything else. I’ve got suncream. And a hat. And sunglasses. And a towel. And a bikini. And a book. I just need to do the form. I just need to fill it out. Get someone to sign it. Then I need to borrow forty pound. For the passport application. Then there’s the stamp. Then I need two hundred pounds for the flight. That’s the cost of the flight from Exeter Airport. Also, I’ve got to get to Exeter, so I need bus fare. What do you say?

  WEST. I can’t help you.

  LUE. Why not?

  WEST. I can’t... I... I haven’t got any money.

  LUE. You said you was a businessman.

  WEST. So what?

  Beat.

  LUE. Here. (Takes out a form.) This isn’t the form. This is the form you need to fill out the form. The form form is safe. The form form’s upstairs. This is the pre-form. The other one. The orange one. Don’t touch it. Your hands are filthy. You smudge it, we’re buggered. Here look. (Reads.) ‘Section One. Form C1. A. One. Please keep these Notes until you receive your passport. Note 1a, subsection one – Birth after 31 December 1982 in the United Kingdom. Tick ‘Yes’ if you were born after 31 December 1982 in the United Kingdom, or if you entered the country on or before December 31 1989, or after July 1 1992, unless a) you were already a temporary citizen in which case refer to note 2a, subsection seven...’ And I speak English. That’s their opener. That’s their warm-up. I mean, that’s that. I’m staying put. I ain’t going nowhere, am I? Wait for it. (Searches.) This is the bit. Where is it? (Reads.) ‘Note 5a, section three.’ No, that’s not it. Where is it? Here you go. (Reads.) ‘Section 12a, subsection 2ii should be signed by a British citizen, or other Commonwealth citizen, who is a Member of Parliament, Justice of the Peace, Minister of Religion, Established Civil Servant, or... here we go... professionally qualified person in the community, e.g. Businessman, Doctor, blah blah blah, or a person of similar standing.’ See? I need someone from the community. Someone they trust. Someone of standing. Now I was thinking, if he was a businessman, or say, or a doctor, then he can do it. Because I figure, he’s not been out here long. They probably don’t know yet. The Government. They probably don’t know that he’s gibbering in Okehampton Market. What do you reckon? What do you say?

  WEST. I can’t help you.

  LUE. What?

  WEST. I can’t help you.

  LUE. Why not?

  WEST. I can’t help you... I’ve...

  LUE. I just need you to sign my photo. Sign the form. Read the notes. Say who you are. Vouch for me. I’ve got everything else. You help me, I won’t forget it. You help me, that’s that. I’m out of here. You can have my room. You won’t freeze to death, out there in your fort. What do you say? Eh? What do you say?

  WEST. I can’t help you.

  LUE. Why not? Why can’t you?

  WEST. Because I’m... I’m not the man you’re looking for. I’m not from the community.

  LUE. You said you was in business.

  WEST. No I never...

  LUE. You did. I heard you. You said you was. You said you was in business. Don’t lie to me. Don’t fob me off. I heard you. You said you was in business. A businessman. I need a businessman. Someone from the community. That’s you. Are you from the community? Are you from the community?

  WEST. I’m not a businessman. I’m not a doctor. I’m not from the community.

  LUE. Well then who are you?

  Beat.

  WEST. I’m...

  LUE. Who are you? Eh? Who are you? Who are you?

  WEST (loud). I’M NOT FROM THE COMMUNITY! Okay? I’m not a business... I’m not a fucking businessman... I’m... I’m not... I’m not from the community... (Pause.) I just... I fell asleep.

  LUE. What?

  Pause.

  WEST. I fell asleep. (Pause.) I... I was... I was... watching this flat. For five days. I’ve not slept. For weeks. I was... I was tired. I was... I just needed to... But I had to watch this... I’m sat in this car... And I was so tired. I just... I just... I just... I just...


  LUE. What?

  WEST. I fell asleep. I must have... I... I must. I... I... (Pause.) I drove back... back to London. I drove... and... They... they... they... shut me in a room. (Beat.) They gave me gin. Filled me up with... Then these blokes come in. These two... They snapped my thumbs. They broke my thumbs. They broke my foot... with a sledgehammer. They burned me. Kettles of water with... with sugar in, so it sticks. They... kicked me in the bollocks till they... till they was pumpkins... Swallow petrol. Bleach. Piss. Spunk. For days. ‘Don’t fall asleep, Len. Don’t doze off. You dozy cunt. Dozy baby.’ Singing lullabies. Over and over.

  Pause.

  You think that’s horrible. I’ve done it. I’ve done it myself. And worse. In rooms. To... To other people. You don’t know ’em. You just... They’ve... they’ve done... A decision’s been... you know... It’s... It’s... (Pause.) I can’t help you. I’m not a businessman. I’m not... I’m not from the community.

  Silence.

  LUE (putting the form away). I’m sorry. It wasn’t you I saw. It was someone else. I thought you was someone else.

  She gathers her things and heads upstairs.

  WEST. Look –

  LUE. I’m sorry. I won’t keep you.

  WEST. Look. I’ll...

  LUE. I’m sorry. Forget it.

  WEST. No, look –

  LUE. Just forget it. I’ll find someone...

  WEST. Look... I’ll look at... I’ll look at it. I’ll... your form. I’ll take a look at it. You... you show me it, I might be able to... I might...

  Silence.

  LUE. It won’t be for free. I’ll give you something.

  WEST. What?

  LUE. I’ll pay you. I haven’t got money, but I’ll pay you.

  WEST. Look, I don’t want nothing.

  LUE. Listen –

  WEST. I don’t need nothing. I just...

  LUE. Hang on –

  WEST. I don’. Really. Please.

  LUE. You don’t know what it is yet. How do you know you don’t want it if you don’t know what it is?

  WEST. Look –

  LUE. You don’t know what I’m offering. (Holds up the hat box.)

  WEST. What’s that?

  Pause.

  LUE. I found it. Out on the moor. If you help me, you can have it.

  WEST. What is it?

  LUE. You help me, it’s yours. If you help me... She’s yours.

  WEST. She?

  LUE. She’s only small. Just been born. Two, three days old. You’ll have to look after her. If you help me, you can have her. (Pause.) It’s the room at the end. Overlooking the fort. Come when it’s dark. Will you help me?

  Pause.

  Re-enter DRAYCOTT, from upstairs.

  DRAYCOTT. Here we go. I keep for emergencies. I rub it on my chest when I’ve got the flu. Go on then. Cowboy-style. You not thirsty, love? Don’t stand on ceremony.

  LUE drinks it down.

  There we go.

  She drinks it down.

  One more.

  She drinks it down. She finishes the whole bottle. Gives it back to him, walks up to WEST. Silence.

  WEST (nods). Yes.

  LUE. Come when it’s dark.

  She turns. And leaves.

  DRAYCOTT. What? What did she say? Oy. You talking now? Where you going, you filthy twizzler? Come back, you tart. Come back. We ain’t finished.

  She’s gone.

  She’ll pay for that. That’s good Scotch, that is. She owes me... the fucking neck. The brass... fuckin’... She’ll pay for that. She knows ’n’ all. She’ll pay. When she’s asleep. She’ll pay sorely. (Pause.) What did she say, mister? Just then. What did she say? What did that little cat say?

  WEST. She said...

  DRAYCOTT. The minx. That little shag, what did she say?

  WEST. She said she’s seen me before.

  DRAYCOTT. What? What’s that lying tart on about? She’s seen you before? Come off it. A man like you. A tart like that. Come off it.

  WEST. She said she’s seen me before. (Beat.) And I’ve seen you before.

  DRAYCOTT. What you on about? Where?

  WEST. Here. In this house.

  DRAYCOTT. What you talking about? I never saw you here.

  WEST. Yes you did. A few days ago. Monday it was. We sat in here. We played gin rummy.

  DRAYCOTT. Gin rummy?

  WEST. We played all evening. Gin. The cards are in that drawer over there.

  DRAYCOTT. I never seen you before, mister. I’m a demon with faces. And I’d remember a game of gin. No danger. You owe me for the crisps. I... I show you human... I show you kindness. And the... and the... don’t go into Chagford. And you can forget the mattress. And you owe me for the crisps. Go on. Get out of it. I changed my mind. I want you out of here. You hear me? Get out. Get out of it. Get out.

  WEST. We sat in this room. A week ago. We played gin. We were drinking whisky. My glass. Every time it was empty. You filled it up. Just before dawn, I went outside, to piss. When I came back in, you were going through my bag. Rifling through it. You found something. I walked across the room, and took it from you. I told you who I was. I told you everything. (Beat.) The sun came up. It started to snow.

  He regards DRAYCOTT.

  Silence.

  Blackout.

  End of Act Two.

  ACT THREE

  The house as in Act One. The next morning. Sheep.

  Enter PATSY from upstairs. Freezing. He still has blood on his shirt. He looks around the place. He goes in the back and runs a tap. Comes back, wringing the shirt out. He spots the mangle. Goes over. He has no idea how to work it. He puts the shirt in. Starts winding. It gets stuck. He tries to pull it out and rips it in half. He finds a coat on the back of the door. He puts it on. He does star jumps to warm himself. Does ten press-ups. Another ten. He plays a few notes on the piano. It’s out of tune. He lights a cigarette. He stops. Looks up the stairs. We can’t see at what.

  PATSY. Hello there. I’m... I’m Patsy. (Pause. Indicates the cigarette.) I was just having my breakfast. You want one? (Pause.) Eh? You want a Benson then? Come on. (Pause.) Come on. That’s it. You want one. You do, don’t you? Come on then. Don’t worry. I won’t bite.

  Enter LUE, from upstairs.

  There we go. There we go.

  He offers the packet. Slowly she takes one. She puts it in her pocket.

  I saw you yesterday from the window. The one what waved. I was coming up the path last night, in the dark and I’ve looked up and... you saw me. Did you see me? On the path? I thought you did. Did you?

  LUE. That’s not your coat.

  PATSY. Oh. Right. I had nosebleed. I get them sometimes... when uh... I washed my shirt and... well. You’re in that end room, aren’t you? Overlooks the fort. I’m next door. We’re neighbours, you and me. How’s your room? Is it warm? Mine’s not. Mine’s got no window. Someone’s smashed it. And before you ask, it was a trifle. Truth is I’ve not slept. But then I never slept yesterday. Or the day before. I’ve not slept for weeks. Search me. When I do sleep, it’s worse. But then I don’t need much, me. Never did. How’s your bed? Is it warm? I’ve not got a bed. I’ve got a pile of old rubbish. I’ve drawn the short straw. (Pause.) We come down to visit a friend. Mr West. Spend some time. Catch up. (Beat.) So are and him, you know... So are you and him, you know...

  LUE. He’s my friend.

  PATSY. Oh. I see.

  LUE. We talk to each other. He’s got this little dog I gave him. We all sit together by that fire, or wherever, in my room. (Pause.) But now the dog’s run off. She’s been gone for days. So you’re his friend too?

  PATSY. Strictly speaking, I’m a friend of a friend. Stricter speaking, I’m the stepson of a friend. But actually I’m not.

  LUE. So why did you come?

  PATSY. See, that’s just it. I can’t tell you. See, the way it works, I’m in bed, my mobile rings. Someone says, ‘Patsy, they’ll pick you up outside the Costcutters at ten o’clock. Don’t bring nothing.’ A tooth
brush. A credit card. (Pause.) You don’t ask questions. You don’t want to put a foot wrong. Not one foot. I’m not bothered. I’ll go anywhere.

  LUE. Have you been abroad?

  PATSY. Once or twice.

  LUE. Where have you been?

  PATSY. Loads of places.

  LUE. Holidays?

  PATSY. Yes.

  LUE. Business trips?

  PATSY. One or two.

  LUE. I’m going abroad. I’ve got my passport.

  PATSY. That’s nice. Where you going? Somewhere nice? Somewhere hot.

  LUE. That’s right. Somewhere where it’s hot all year. All summer, all winter.

  PATSY. Lovely.

  LUE. That’s where I’m going. That’s where I’m off to.

  PATSY. Sounds lovely.

  LUE. Yeah. But I can’t go yet. See, my suitcase is broken. I bought this suitcase and it’s cheap. It’s a piece of crap. I put all my stuff in it, and the strap’s bust. So I can’t go yet. I’ve got to get a new suitcase. Then that’s that. I’m off. Well it was nice to meet you.

  PATSY. Likewise.

  LUE. Goodbye.

  Beat.

  PATSY. Did you see me?

  LUE. When?

  PATSY. Last night. When you were at the window. When I waved to you. You were looking right at me. Did you see me?

  Silence.

  LUE. I suppose I must have.

  PATSY. What do you mean?

  LUE. I mean, I must have, mustn’t I? Because I dreamt about you.

  PATSY. What?

  LUE. I dreamt about you last night. You were in my dream. It was definitely you. I can see you now.

  PATSY. What happened?

  LUE. I was walking down the path, down to the road. It was just getting light. And it was freezing cold, so I took the shortcut through the fort. I went into the main part. The main hall it is. The banqueting hall. Where they had the banquets. And it was freezing cold, and it was snowing. And there you was.

  PATSY. What was I doing?

  LUE. You was sitting on the parapet. You was staring out over the land below. You were stock-still. I went over, and when I got close, I touched your shoulder. You were frozen solid. Like a statue. Cold as stone.

  PATSY. What did you do?

  LUE. What could I do? I left you there.

  PATSY. You left me?

  LUE. Yes. But before I left you. I did something.

  PATSY. What? What did you do? What did you do?