A Wedding Affair (The Wedding Affair)

by Lacey, S. L. A.

  “Where does this lead to Miss Macy?”

  “Don’t that’s…”

  He opens the cream double doors ever so slowly to the silver gray domicile that is my bedroom; he walks past the sitting area complete with a round French woven area rug, curved silver and white Queen Anne sofa, with matching table and lamps. The fireplace is to the left side of my huge bed that is adorned with pillows in various shapes and sizes at the silver grey tufted headboard I barely sleep so while I am awake in bed I read and work and then just pass out, I sometimes feel as if I am floating on a cloud when I am lying in it.

  I follow Tristan in as he looks around and plops himself at the foot of my bed, shit!, if I wasn’t engaged this would have been my dream, he looks heavenly with his damp tousled hair in nothing but a robe sitting at the foot of my bed as the dim light bathes his salacious smile I know I am in way over my head. I can’t let this get out of control. I have been good at warding him off so far but hell holy beast the fucker is naked and perched on my bed for Christ sakes. This can go no place good. I take a deep breath and deal with the prick at hand.

  “Comfy?” I walked over to him and he pulls me by my waist to stand between his legs, and leans his head against my stomach he smells so good Egoieste by Chanel, my influence naturally.

  “Tristan don’t do this” I run my fingers through his hair and he looks up I touch his face as my ring sparkled and reflected in the dim light. He kisses the inside of my hand as I hold his face in my hands

  “Aria I’ve waited for this day for two years” it is now quite clear what his intentions are.

  “You are making this very hard.” My words make him pull me close to him as I now feel his growing erection, damn.

  “So are you” oh this man he has no shame as his very happy to see me is egging me on.

  He tugs at my tie on my robe and it falls open, he gently runs his finger over my sex, and I flinch as my muscles tighten. Tristan moves his hands up my stomach and caresses my breast as they come alive at his touch. God how does he do this to me so quickly and he barely even touches me?

  “Do you know how much I’ve missed you?” his deep voice is just above a whisper as he opens up to me.

  I nob no and say nothing because he has never told me any of these words before.

  “Aria I could never have been with you the way I was, I could never take your most precious gift knowing that I had nothing to offer you, my life back then was not deserving of you.”

  He runs his hands up and down my sides pulling me to him. I am on fire, this never happens to me what is it that makes me want him so?

  “Tristan this is…”

  “Aria the more I see you the more I want you it never faded, my heart won’t lie”

  He opens his robe and he is glorious, his chiseled body, his hair on his chest that I want to run my nose through, and on his lap, his waiting erection, yeah he wasn’t kidding he is pretty substantial, he is stripped and raw before me, he is geared up for a night of full blown sex what I have always wanted from him and I am on the disabled list or maybe partly injured list, shit what the hell am I thinking to even consider this I am a glutton for punishment.

  He has teased me so much about sex, always seeing if I was ready and willing, but my faith always won, Tristan and I never had sex, I couldn’t give myself to him, knowing that he didn’t love me, or care for me or respected me and my religion, my choices, I just knew he was not worthy of me and if I gave myself to him it would have been devastating for me to even bare so we never, I never let him take it any further than this. You know just a little show and tell.

  But now this is all quite different not only am I wet and aroused with desire, my heart is pounding, my blood is racing through my veins and Tristan pulls me on his lap. His arms draped around me, his lips at my ear, kissing me, making me even more hot and bothered then I already am as I feel his stubble on my neck his warm breath lavishes me with tender kisses and wanton passion is building, the more I see him the more I want him.

  But I have to tell him, I’m not a virgin anymore.

  I try to pull away from his embrace, but Oh hell holy beast when he kisses me and nibbled on my ear I’m lost. Shit his sexing makes my blood ooze through my veins, these are feelings that only he stirs up in me, and his growing erection beneath me is not helping matters. Shit shit shit

  “Tristan I have to tell you something ….” Oh my, he is tantalizing, his lips trailing kisses down my neck, his hands moving through my hair, I am going to come apart at the seams!

  Then he reaches for my breast as he lays his hands on me his knowing fingers detonate deep seeded desire down there. What is going on with me? My body flourishes and blooms at his touch, and his arousal beneath me is egging me on, I am in way over my head here, he is in my bedroom, we are barely dresses and I am engaged for goodness sakes, the reality that hits me is I have never felt more alive as I do right now, if I don’t stop him he will fuck me.

  “Tristan I have to tell you something” his warm lips against my neck, oh he knows exactly where to kiss me as part of me doesn’t want him to stop the rational part of me knows I have to put a stop to this before it goes too far. Tristan whispers between kisses as he holds me on his lap.

  “Aria…I know you’re a virgin” ok now this is where I get off and I mean his lap not you know.

  I pull away quickly and jump off his lap and I have to get this out in one breath.

  “Tristan, I’m not a virgin anymore!” I’m breathing rapidly, my heart is racing, my face is flushed, but I managed to get it out.

  Ok it’s good to know that I can still shock the living daylights out of him. Is he surprise? Shock? Maybe bordering on hateful towards me right now? I’m not sure exactly what this look is on his face.

  I close my robe back up and now I’m biting my lips because I don’t know how he is going to take this bit of information that I have enlightened him with.

  “What Aria! I’m gonna need you to say that again!” his deep voice is almost scolding and scary The old Tristan is back the one that use to yell and frighten me when we first met.

  Oh God he thought I was going to wait for him, oh this is crazy, shit shit shit I see it now disappointment on his face, maybe even laced with a bit of trepidation.

  Tristan looks away from me as he closes his robe, good cause I can’t concentrate while his manhood is enticing me, wow God has shined upon him, amazingly well-endowed bastard that he is, no wonder his ex, the slut-bag-ugly-whore wouldn’t leave him alone.

  I had to tell him the truth he has been gone for over two years, although I only just lost my virginity two weeks ago. I have to tell him, I push my hair behind my ears and I am looking down at the floor, his face is ashen and I feel as if he sees me in a different light now that I am de flowered, not the innocent Aria that he was expecting to see, I speak softly and slowly, I feel I have to tell him, explain, let him know that I did not sleep around like a whore after he left that I am not like that in any way, all thought after tonight my actions have not been very lady like at all, well here goes nothing.

  “Tristan the night that I got engaged I slept with Ian! A man gives you a ring and promises to spend the rest of his life with you, you give it up to him! What did you think… I was going to wait for you?” I don’t mean to sound condescending but maybe I do a little bit.

  He presses his lips into a hard line and nods yes, oh shit, shit, shit.

  “You did ?” my voice is barely audible, I feel horrible, tainted, tarnished and terrible stained like he kept me on a pedestal and now I have been downgraded to whore who sleeps with man for diamond ring.

  Tristan walks over to me pushes back his hair and lets out a sigh. He reaches for my cheek and caresses it gently.

  “ Look Aria, I don’t want you to do something that you are going to regret in the morning, you are more involved with this man then I had anticipated” his words even set me straight.

  I nod back at him agreeing, at least one of us is mak
ing sense, but I somehow feel he doesn’t want me because I am used goods.

  “So when did all of this happen? I am shocked he is asking this what does he want a blow by blow account? Who am I kidding yes he does, he wants to know how it went down, who went down on who and if it was the best sex of my life, but I can’t talk to him about this can I?

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know exactly what I mean!” his voice is stern and almost accusatory forgot how intimidating he can be. I look up at him and I utter softly.

  “ I slept with Ian…Um two weeks ago” he closes his eyes and he is hurt and filled with pain, dread even as I feel he is labeling me a whore.

  I always wanted to get him back and now that I have hurt him so it hurts me too, I am so confused, why do I let him do this to me? He is nothing to me, I am nothing to him, we shouldn’t be anything to one another, yet we both get together and the pull is here, the energy is evident between us and now the consequences of my actions he is holding over my head.

  “I see” his look is of hurt and anguish he can’t blame me for my actions, it has nothing to do with him, he wanted nothing to do with me when he had the chance, gosh I just don’t get men, they want it on their terms, they want it their way or no way and now I am left feeling the whore and I slept with my fiancé gosh not like Tristan who has had countless women he has bedded and I am made to feel like dirt because I slept with one man. Talk about your double standard, but I have to tell him to ease my own mind if not his too.

  “Tristan I waited two years for you, I cried my eyes out over you, I told myself I will cry for the next five years, I will never go back to this and here I am and this time it’s worse than all the other times!”

  His hand is now caressing my neck as he is trying to calm me as I let him have it.

  “Aria, don’t you understand, all the preaching, all the talks, the conversations with you…Gosh I wanted to have something to offer you, I knew I could never give you what you wanted or come close to ever making you happy with the way I was when we met, I got my life together because with the hope that we would one day be together!”

  There it is, two years and countless tears later those words were my dream, how I waited to hear them from this man all those years ago not now as I have moved on with my life with a new man and just then it hits me, is all of this happening because maybe I should rethink my decision to marry Ian Bollinger?...I don’t know.

  I can’t think this way this is all Tristan’s doing he is the one putting doubt in my mind, he has no right to do this to me, we don’t belong to each other he is free to be with anyone else, I’m off the menu, I have to make him see this.

  “Look Tristan, we have both been drinking, this has been a lot to take in and digest, you walk back into my life and you want to pick-up where we left off…” he doesn’t let me finish

  “Aria I never imagined that you would get engaged and give your most precious gift to another man!” ok fuck this, I am not going to be made out to be the bad guy here, you know they say men have two heads and the smaller one makes all the decisions, so I am going to blow his mind quite frankly with some very truthful and shocking statements that he needs to hear, I know deep down inside he came here to bed me, fuck me, well he is going to get blown away instead.

  “Oh Tristan now you want to point fingers? Let me refresh your memory Mr. Bach, it is your behavior that has brought us to this precipice!” he puts up his palms placating me as if I am holding him at gun point.

  “I know I have not done right by you Aria, God knows I don’t deserve to even be here today, but the angels in heaven have shined down upon me and I’m here”

  Ok going for divine intervention… hmm not what I had expected from the rather daring Mr. Sex on Fire, but I need to spell it out nice and slowly for the audacious sexy beast before me and refresh his feeble mind as to what really went down.

  “Tristan let’s take a walk down memory lane shall we? Well as memory serves me correct I was called away on business, and you took it upon yourself to sleep with your mother’s neighbor in a drunk-in rage! Correct? Yes thought so. You slept with my PA after she was fired for stealing from the company!” correct? He nods slowly and his hands fist his hips, “To top it all off you, the strip clubs, the boozing, you were a mess”

  “You knew about all of that?”

  “Yes of course I knew what everyone knew, and the fact was if you were not sleeping with me you were sleeping with everyone else! How do you think I felt when the one man, the only man that I …”

  I stop he does not need to know what he meant to me it’s my secret…..no one knows this, I buried it deep down in my soul never to see the light of day.

  “Aria, I know I’ve made mistakes, why do you think I wouldn’t sleep with you? Back then when I knew I wasn’t worthy of Aria Macy!”

  Oh so now it’s my fault, he fucked half of the greater Cleveland area? I’m getting madder by the second at this bastard.

  “So what are you saying Tristan?”

  “Those women didn’t mean anything to me it was just sex, all I know is that what kept me going for all these years was that I could always count on you to be there for me, and that when you weren’t I knew I had to get my act together, and come to you as a man!”

  Ok so his honesty calms my furry, it’s sobering. And I owe him the same candor, so here it goes.

  “Tristan I don’t know what to say…you can’t blame me for moving on with my life! You can’t hold it against me! I was alone for two years, I threw myself into making my dream a reality, I wasn’t looking for somebody, a relationship was the last thing on my mind, then it all changed when Ian came back, I was in a better place in my life, I was not destructive or chasing after you, Ian made me laugh and it’s been good, I kept you a secret, I just never spoke of you again, I just wanted you to fade away. I am starting a new life with a man who has no drama in his life, who cares for me, but most of all who loves me!”

  I get it out, is it a revelation? Or is it a confession? I don’t know. Shit I need to add confession to my list of things to get done immediately if not sooner.

  Tristan lets out a deep breath, it’s not a relieving breath, oh shit where is he going with this, more attitude? Or more sexing? I cross my arms and stand gazing into those hazel eyes of his, he is so handsome that he takes my breath away and always disarms me, our fighting was always heated by passion it shocked us both at times.

  “Aria is that what this is all about? How can you even doubt that I don’t care for you? Look at me, I am a success because of you! You were the only one who believed in me! Who loved me! You loved me enough to show me how to straighten out my life! For goodness sakes Aria, I have been in love with you since we first met…that day in the office!….I brought you home to meet my family, I never brought home a girl to meet my mother!”

  Shit he is talking sternly but not really yelling at me, and again making statements that get me wet for him, why is he the only one who does this to me? and now I’m getting even more emotional as my eyes are getting glassy, I’m fighting back tears but now I want to get this out, I have taken everything he has thrown at me, I have hid from my feelings and I have denied myself feelings or emotions for this man because I couldn’t face any of it and to find out that all our talks till I was blue in the face, he was actually paying attention to my words, my thoughts, my advice, it is quite alarming.

  “Tristan I don’t know what to say, I never thought you would ever listen to me! Let alone take my advice! We were both in different directions back then, look at us now I am thirty-eight and you are thirty, your lack of respect back then was more than I could handle! You were so out of control, it was scary and exciting, but along with all of that you brought something alive inside of me, that no one has before and it stopped me dead in my tracks”

  Tears flow from my eyes and I can’t stop them, my chin is quivering, and all the anxiety I packed away is surfacing over this man in front of me.

  Tri
stan whips away my tears and folds me into his arms and I cry and cry and cry. Tristan holds me tight.

  “Shh” he caresses my head in his arms against his chest and I don’t fight him, I sob into his neck, I let it all out, he holds me tight and tries to calm me down, I have missed this man so much just being in his arms is all I have ever wanted, I know I may have come across all hard and knowing but deep down inside I am still his little Aria that he met all those years ago at work, I want for nothing when I am in his arms, I just wanted him to want me the way I wanted him, I wanted his love and affection but mostly I wanted his respect and when I didn’t get it from him I knew it was not wise for me to even push the issue with him that was my reality the cold hard truth and I walked away I just decided that he didn’t want me and he walked away so I did too.

  I let loose of all my deep seeded anxiety, my feelings of hostility and anger towards this man as my emotions just take over, he holds me close and whispers in my ear.

  “I have no right to expect your love in return, but you are my heart Aria, I love you, I want you that is why I came back for you” his declaration of his love and devotion for me is heart wrenching they are the words I wanted to hear years ago and now they are meaningless, hollow notions that have no chance to blossom and grow because I belong to someone else.

  I sob harder at his confession, thank goodness he is holding me as my knees get weak and I would have fallen to the floor for sure in my melancholy state, my mind is cloudy and I feel dizzy I realize that I can’t stand, I am weak as my legs turn to Jell-O.

  Tristan being the gallant knight that he is, takes hold of me in one clean swoop and I am in his arms, he cradles me and I wrap myself around him, he hold me tightly as he walks to the head of my bed never letting me go he sits down at the head of my bed and hold me on his lap and lets me cry on his shoulder, these shoulders as I remember were always damp and sore. I curl up on his lap. He runs his fingers through my chestnut curly hair pulling it away from my face and the feeling of his fingers in my hair are tranquil and sooth my anxious heart.