A SEAL's Fantasy

by Tawny Weber

  First Banks argued up a storm over seeing his sister. The guy had been through a traumatic situation, between the capture, the rescue and a handful of Navy shrinks poking at his brain to see if it’d gone soft. You’d think he’d want the family connection. That he’d be grateful for a chance to fix things.

  But no. He’d been a total pain in the ass about it. Dominic had had to play dirty to get him there.

  Now Lara?

  She’d gotten irritated that he was fixing her career issues, then she’d stormed out instead of thanking him for giving her back her brother?

  This day sucked.

  “Why the hell didn’t you say something to keep her here?” he snapped at Banks.

  “What was there to say? Your claim that I owe you got me here, despite my warning you that cozy family reunions aren’t my style. From what I saw, Lara probably issued that same exact advice.” Banks shrugged. “So what would you have me say? The only thing that comes to mind is ‘I told you so.’”

  Dominic blinked, his shock holding fury at bay.

  “Did you just say ‘I told you so’?”

  What were they? Teenage girls?

  “No. I said that’s the only thing that came to mind.”

  Dominic ground his teeth together so hard he swore he could taste enamel. The guy was hell on technicalities.

  “Don’t you want family?” he asked, truly baffled by their behavior. If he’d ever seen two people more in need of connections, it was Lara and her brother. But both of them were fighting like crazy to stay alone.

  “Do you always decide what other people should want?” Banks asked. The guy didn’t sound mad, just faintly curious.

  “When I l—care about someone, I try to make them happy,” Dominic shot back, horrified by the near slip of the tongue. No L words here. Just a habitual response to an argument he’d had plenty of times in the past, usually with his sister. When that lame justification did nothing to calm the churning in his belly, he changed topics.

  “She’s not unreasonable,” Dominic muttered. “If I can just get her back in here, she’ll listen.”

  “You know her better than I do.” Banks’s lips twitched. “I never observed a tendency toward reason and amiability growing up with her, but it has been a few years.”

  Yanking the door open, Dominic paused to stare at the guy. “You’re cracking jokes?”

  He hadn’t even realized Banks had a sense of humor. Of all times to show it off, he chose now? Dominic glanced toward the window, wondering if ice was on its way from hell freezing over.

  He shook his head, giving Banks another dark look before turning to go after Lara.

  “A word of advice,” Banks said softly.

  Impatient, brows arched, Dominic looked back.

  “Lara’s right. We’re not what you’d call family, not by most definitions. But if you go after her, do so carefully. You hurt my sister, I might have to take steps.”

  “Jokes and threats?” Dominic observed, suddenly grinning. “You two really are alike.”

  His smile disappeared when he reached the elevator, finding its doors wide-open and no Lara. Scowling, he stared at the empty space and considered the options.

  Was Banks right? When he found Lara, was she going to be reasonable? History didn’t lend itself to that idea. She was the most exciting woman he’d ever known, but she was also the most difficult. He’d only had a woman run from him twice in his life, and both times it was Lara. It was enough to give a guy a complex.

  Or tempt him to look elsewhere.

  * * *

  TIRED OF WAITING for the elevator, Lara had hit the stairwell. She figured stomping her way down twenty flights of stairs was better than beating her laptop against the elevator wall.

  What the hell was wrong with her?

  If a guy wasn’t loser, he was a liar. If he wasn’t a liar, he was a charming control freak with commitment issues and sexy dimples.

  Lara had to stop at the last landing to catch her breath and wipe her face. She’d be damned if anyone, even a hotel bellboy, was going to see evidence of her heartbreak. A quick dash of her palms over her cheeks, a couple of soothing gulps of air and she was ready to go again.

  She slowly made her way down the last couple of dozen steps, fiercely holding all negative thoughts at bay.

  So she didn’t have any money.

  She’d find a bank, pull the rest of her savings to get her home.

  So she didn’t have a home.

  Christi had already offered her couch.

  She’d be fine.

  She’d be miserably unhappy, living a sexless life for the rest of her existence, but dammit, if that’s what it took, fine.

  Bottom line, this time nobody was ruining her damned life.

  Not even her.

  Lara wrapped her hand around the doorknob to the lobby, sucked in a deep breath and pulled it open.

  And walked right into Castillo.

  Dammit.

  She glared.

  “What’d you do, put a homing device in my purse?”

  “Actually, if I was going to fit you with a tracking device, I’d put it in your laptop. You never go anywhere without that.”

  She pursed her lips, not about to be dragged into cutesy banter. Instead, she waited. He’d come running after her; he obviously had a reason.

  “I think you misunderstood my intentions,” he finally said, his smile engaging those lethal dimples.

  Yep, she did.

  She’d thought he was as crazy about her as she was about him. She’d thought he understood her, that he got her. She’d thought, for the first time in her life, that someone respected her. All of her. Her body, her mind, her dreams and her heart.

  She’d been too busy misunderstanding that to have a clue about his intentions.

  “I don’t think I misunderstood that you ignored my explicit requests and very detailed explanations of what I wanted,” she told him as calmly as she could.

  “So you’re going to throw this away out of stubbornness?”

  Chin quivering, Lara pressed her lips together, wishing desperately for anger. Or better yet, numbness. She’d give a lot not to feel right now.

  “I don’t think I’m throwing anything away,” she said when she was sure her voice wouldn’t shake.

  “Sure you are. Because you didn’t like your past, now you’re going to ruin your future?” He shook his head as if he couldn’t understand her at all. Since Lara figured she’d been the one fooling herself to think he could, she couldn’t fault his gesture.

  “I don’t see that my future is any different right now than it was before you dragged me away from my apartment three weeks ago,” she said. Well, not much different. She was pretty sure she’d never let another man touch her. She was positive her heart was broken and her faith shattered. But those were just life’s ways of reminding her that she’d screwed up.

  “You have a chance at something here,” he argued. “Something that’s important to you.”

  Lara frowned. Was he trying to apologize for ignoring her wishes, for bulldozing over her plans and treating her like a stupid child who didn’t know any better?

  Maybe he was really bad at it.

  “Just exactly what do you think I’m throwing aside?” she asked slowly, knowing it was stupid but needing to give him a chance.

  “You need family,” he claimed, looking and sounding as though he’d just issued a proclamation from on high. What did he figure, that she should drop to her knees in thanks?

  Lara rolled her eyes, using all her willpower to keep from kicking him instead.

  “You really think that’s what’s important to me? Seriously?”

  Somewhere through her fury a little voice pointed out that it was better that he have some stupid idea of her dream than know the real one. The him-and-her-together-forever dream.

  “Fine,” she decided. “If you want so badly to fix me up, familywise, then okay. Let’s trade.”

  “What?”<
br />
  “I’ll take your family. You can have mine.”

  “See, that’s what I mean.” He pointed as if she’d just made some brilliant point. “You’re sublimating your need for family by developing an unhealthy attachment to mine.”

  Lara didn’t realize her jaw had hit her chest until the ringing in her ears clued her in that she wasn’t breathing.

  She shook her head, sure she’d heard him wrong.

  “I’m sublimating...”

  “Look, you had a lousy family growing up. You meet mine and realize what a good one is like. It’s only natural.”

  “You think I’m with you because I have the hots for your family?” she asked, pushing her hand through her hair in confusion.

  “No, of course not. You’re with me because the sex is amazing.”

  While Lara was trying to decide if it was pure arrogance to speak so close to the truth, he kept talking.

  “But sometimes things get murky, you know? You’ve been through a major emotional trauma, whether you realize it or not. Your place was trashed, you were stalked, then hauled away from everything you knew. You’ve lost your job, your apartment and almost lost your last living relative. So of course you’re clinging to my family. It’s only natural.”

  As if his words sucked the life out of her, Lara sank back against the wall. She held her laptop against her chest like a shield. Anger drowned in the wave of hurt that washed over her. This had nothing to do with Dominic being a control freak who thought he had the answer to everything. Nor was it some deep-seated desire to reunite her with her estranged brother.

  No.

  This was all about him wanting to keep her away from his family. After all, he had a reputation to protect, and a clinging lover who knew his home number didn’t fit that macho love-’em-and-leave-’em rep.

  “You go ahead and think that,” she stated. She’d be damned if she was going to stand here and defend her emotions. Not the real ones, not the stupid ones he was claiming she had.

  Lara had heard enough about that thing called unconditional love and had always sneered a little.

  Not now, though.

  Now she understood.

  She loved Dominic. She didn’t need him to fit an image in her mind to keep that love. She didn’t expect him to give up things or change careers or dress a certain way.

  But if he had sliced a vein open and written it in blood, he couldn’t have made it more clear that he didn’t feel the same.

  Lara had spent more than half her life not being good enough, not being accepted for who she was.

  And she’d promised herself that she’d never spend another second that way.

  Which meant it was time to go.

  “Goodbye,” she said quietly. Without waiting for his response, she stepped around him and headed for the lobby door.

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  She didn’t respond, but it only took him a moment to step in front of her.

  His face was as serious as she’d ever seen it. Not focused, like the military protector he’d been. Not intense, the way he looked poised over her body. Simply serious. Lara blinked back the tears and tilted her head to indicate he should say what he had to, then move.

  “You walk out, that’s it,” he told her quietly. “And you’re too smart to do that. To throw away what we have over a temper tantrum?”

  Somehow, his words made it easier. Pulling her bad attitude around her like a protective cloak, Lara shrugged.

  “Like I said...goodbye.”

  Feeling ancient, every step filled with pain, she walked around him and out the doors.

  It was like getting dumped twice.

  12

  LARA LOOKED UP from her plate of French fries and sighed.

  “Seriously?” she asked, too exhausted to even sound angry.

  “Looks like,” Phillip said as he slid into the booth opposite her. He was in civilian clothes, which probably accounted for why she’d been able to eat in peace for as long as she had.

  “How’d you find me? Some secret SEAL tracking technique?” Lara leaned back in the cracked vinyl booth, laying one hand on her laptop. “Did Castillo install a GPS somewhere?”

  “Nah. I just hit all the McDonald’s in walking distance until I found you.”

  Lara couldn’t stop her smile as a hint of pleasure made its way through her misery.

  “Old habits,” she said with a shrug.

  As a vegetarian and a dancer, she’d lived on health food most of her life. So she’d always headed for junk food when she was upset. Phillip had found her at one when she’d run away at thirteen, at another after a disastrous country club dance when her date had dumped her for not putting out.

  Lara was pretty sure the only times she and her brother had ever had anything that resembled personal conversations were that one Christmas and at McDonald’s.

  Sighing, she slid a fry-covered tray to the middle of the table as a peace offering.

  “Why are you here? Did Castillo guilt you or something?”

  A fry halfway to his mouth, he gave her a look that was part confusion, part amusement.

  “What do I have to feel guilty about?”

  “Nothing.” She swiped a fry through the ketchup pool before pointing it at him. “Which is my point. But why else would you be here?”

  “Castillo said I owed you some money,” he told her, not looking as though the fact bothered him.

  “Oh,” she said, glancing down at the tray again.

  It suddenly bothered Lara, though. It’d been one thing to joke about it with Castillo. It was another to sit in front of Phillip feeling like a charity case.

  Then again, beggars and choosers were in vastly different categories.

  “Hey, I realize it’s not my place. And I’m honestly not even sure why I’m asking....” Phillip grimaced, clearly not happy.

  Whether it was the question he was not happy to ask, or simply having to talk with her, Lara didn’t know. Not feeling nearly as friendly anymore, she pulled the tray back to her side of the table.

  His lips twitched, so he clearly got the message. But being Phillip, he ignored it. God forbid something like emotions get in the way of him doing what he saw as his duty.

  “Believe me, I’m as unhappy asking as you will be answering. But right is right,” he said, giving the table a careful look before he laid his forearms on it and leaned forward. “Are you sure you want to walk out on him? He seems to genuinely care about you. And I know you wouldn’t have stayed here sharing a hotel room if you didn’t care about him.”

  “He messed with my life,” she said.

  “And?”

  Fury flashed in Lara’s chest, so hot it was hard to breathe. She leaned forward so she was halfway across the table and got in her brother’s face.

  “I’m not some guy’s project. A fun little sideline to make him feel righteous and manly while he fixes what he sees as the problems with my life. If I want changes in my life, I’m the one making them. I’ll be damned if some guy is going to call my shots.”

  Phillip pulled a considering face, then slowly nodded.

  Good. Lara leaned back, trying to even out her breathing.

  Discussion finished, he could give her the money and this whole farce of a family reunion would be over.

  “But here’s the thing...”

  Lara dropped her face into her hands and groaned.

  “I’m not close to the guy, nor have I spent time with him outside of duty. But I wouldn’t classify Castillo as the kind of person who looks for reasons to feel righteous.” Phillip grimaced again. “If you ask me, he’s already got plenty of those. His ego and his sense of worth are considerable.”

  Lara lifted her head just enough to peek over her fingers.

  “Are you saying you think Dominic is a conceited know-it-all?” she asked slowly.

  Phillip frowned for a second, then nodded.

  “Yeah, pretty much. Which is why he clearly doesn’t need, nor wo
uld he go looking for, a project of any kind.”

  “And yet, despite my saying not to, he brought you to see me. He tries to get me to take a job that’s totally outside my field and that I’d hate. Hell, he’s even offering up fashion advice.” Lara threw her hands in the air. “I’d say that has all the earmarks of a righteous project.”

  Phillip pursed his lips.

  “I don’t like to give advice—”

  “But you’ll make an exception for me,” Lara interrupted.

  His mouth quirked. But, of course, he got control before the grin actually appeared and gave a regal nod instead.

  How on earth were they actually related?

  “I feel as if I owe it to you to make an exception.” He frowned, looking down at his hands. For the first time, Lara noticed the scars crisscrossing the backs of them, as if he’d been cut.

  Her gaze traced the bruises on his face, pain tying knots in her belly at the thought of what he’d been through.

  “Phillip—”

  “As I was saying,” he broke in before she could express her—what? Sympathy? Horror? Regret? She felt them all, but didn’t know how to put them into words. So she lifted her hands to let him know that she’d let it go. God forbid they muddle through some uncomfortable emotional discussion. They might get close or realize they had some inkling of familial feelings.

  Which would make Dominic right.

  And Lara wasn’t about to let that happen.

  “Castillo might be a little arrogant in his belief that he knows best,” Phillip said, making her lips twitch. It was like a pot describing a kettle. “But in this case, I think he had your best interest at heart.”

  “You think dragging me here to Coronado, knowing there was no threat, trying to play family matchmaker by reuniting us against our will, then claiming his actions were simply altruistic is having my best interest at heart?”

  Phillip’s expression didn’t change for a few seconds, then he sighed. “Okay, if you put it that way, he sounds like an ass.”

  Lara snorted, then laughed so hard she could only nod her agreement.

  “But ass or not, he really did seem upset when he finished talking with you earlier.”

  Laughter fading, Lara took a sip of her iced tea before shrugging.