Born Bad

by Andrew Vachss

  We don't have wars anymore. We have Warlocks, but that's just a name that sounds the same. Down here, the Warlocks are potioners—they make stuff you can drink. The stuff lets you see the Outside. You can go Outside in your head if the potions work.

  They don't work for everyone. I bought a potion once. When I was very sad. It cost me one hundred credits. Open credits, too—the kind you can use in any of the Tunnels. I wanted to see Outside, so I could see the Agency—the Agency that protected the children.

  But I never saw it, not really. What I saw, it was like a big blob, spawning. Spawning little blobs. Like what women do, to make babies.

  I asked a Messenger what it meant, my vision. Messengers don't really know anything. What they do, you ask them a question, and they find the answer. It costs credits to do that. The Messenger said she could find one of the Sages. So I could get an answer. The Book Boys, they don't answer your questions—they just write stuff on the walls. If the stuff is the answer to one of your questions, then you know. But you can never be sure.

  I get very confused sometimes. I mean, I used to get confused. Before I started my work.

  Anyway, the Messenger said she found one of the Sages. In a secret Tunnel, away from the Charted Zone. Nobody is allowed outside of the Charted Zone. The Rulers do not permit that. But everyone knows that some people go there anyway. Not Outside…nobody does that. Just out of the Charted Zone.

  You can buy and sell a lot of things outside the Charted Zone, if you can find the places. It's called the Black Market—I guess that's because there are no overhead lights there, only little ones.

  I know this is taking a long time. I'm sorry. Making a record is hard. I have to explain everything. They say there is a way to get things Outside. Not people, but things. That's why I need to make this record. For Outside. If there is anyone there. We don't know. I wouldn't have to explain things if I made this record for here. But if anyone from here finds my record, they will tell the Rulers.

  I want my record to go Outside. I don't want to go there myself. So I have to make sure nobody finds my record before it's ready.

  The Messenger, she told me what the Sage said. The Sage said that Agencies before the Terror were very, very big. And they gave birth. There would be like a super Agency, and it would have many, many littler Agencies coming from it.

  It was a big, big Agency that gave birth to the Agency that protected children.

  I wonder if it worked. If it really protected the children. That is called a Judgment Question. Asking if there was an Agency, that is a Truth Question. A Truth Question costs a hundred credits. But a Judgment Question, that costs a thousand. A thousand credits. Actually, it is three thousand, because a Judgment Question has to be asked three times. Each time to a different Sage.

  I would never have that many credits.

  I cannot bear the crying of a child—that thin, bitter sadness that tells me the child already knows the future. That crying is a prayer, I think. But there is no God down here. Just the Rulers.

  I cannot bear it. Every time I hear it, I have to stop it.

  I was a Charter when I was younger. The Rulers say we have to chart all the tunnels. When a tunnel is charted, the Rulers give it a name, so it has a purpose. Once the tunnel has a name, it's in the Charted Zone. Some of them have always been here, like the Sex Tunnels. Some are pretty new, like the Sanitation Tunnels. That's where the Conveyor takes people who have died.

  A Charter makes a record. And he gives the record to the Rulers, so whatever the Charter finds can go into the Charted Zone. I am not going to give this record to the Rulers—I know what they would do.

  When I was younger, before I became wise, I thought I could stop the crying by taking the heart that was closed. If I took the heart, the crying would stop.

  When I would take a heart, the Conveyor would take what was left.

  But I could never be sure. Not certain–sure. The Settlers would always come and take the child after I took the closed heart—the Settlers work the Hydro–Farms. That's where they send criminals too, the Hydro–Farms. I couldn't tell what they did with the children when they took them.

  I went there once, to look for one of the children. But I couldn't find him—the Hydro–Farms are so big. And they would get new names there too. The Rulers call this Adoption.

  The Info–Board would always tell it—the hearts I took. Sometimes I would see a picture on the Info–Board. One of the Enforcers would be holding the child and the child would be crying.

  But I would never know. I could never really be sure that it was a different crying after I took the heart. I tried and I tried, but you can't listen to the Info–Boards—all they show is pictures.

  I couldn't really tell.

  I had to be sure. So I stopped taking hearts. Now I take the children.

  I never take little–little babies. If they can't talk, they can't tell me the truth.

  After I take them, I ask them. I ask them myself. If they stop crying when I am nice to them, then I know.

  Then I go back and take the hearts that were closed to them. Sometimes it's only one heart—sometimes it's both. Both parents.

  But if they don't stop crying even when I'm nice, I work very hard. Sometimes they cry because they are good–sad, not bitter–sad. Because they miss their parents.

  I always bring those children back. If they have a home, I bring them back.

  The other children, I keep with me. After I take the closed hearts, I keep the children.

  I keep them in a tunnel outside the Charted Zone. I found it a long time ago. I never reported it, so the Rulers don't know it's there.

  Sometimes, another Charter comes close, The rats always warn me. They start squeaking—they get very excited. They are excited because they will have food. Special food, not the food I always give them. If the Enforcers would find a body, they would take it away. That's what they do with the parents when I take their hearts. I can't let the Enforcers find a body, so I give the Charters to the rats.

  Charters are out a long time. Sometimes years. They are supposed to leave a trail, but they don't always do that. I am careful to take them early, out on the perimeter. The rats live on the perimeter—I don't allow them to live close to us.

  I move through the tunnels. I don't need a map. That's why they picked me in the first place. They gave me a test when I was a child. After they took me away. I can find my way always, even in the dark. The tunnels outside the Charted Zone, they never have any light.

  I keep all the children. The older children take care of the littler ones. When any of our children cry, it is for good reason. And we can always, always fix it. So they are never sad.

  This is a Tunnel of Love.

  It's safe where I take them. Nobody ever comes here. Even when I am not around, the dogs would stop them. The children love the dogs. The dogs love the children. The children feed the dogs. The dogs protect the children. If the rats get too close, the dogs fix them too.

  When the first children get old enough, I will teach them to do what I do. Some will be Charters, but Charters for us, not the Rulers. Some will be Enforcers, but Enforcers for us, not the Rulers.

  The closed hearts will never stop making children cry—there will always be children for us.

  We will live forever. Even after I am gone, the children will take the closed hearts.

  Someday, there will be many of us.

  And then the Rulers will meet us.

  Bad Babies

  First came the Bad Babies—that's what the Book Boys wrote.

  That was a long time ago—nobody knows exactly how long. The Book Boys write what happens on the walls, but the writing doesn't always stay there. They have different colors for different places—silver for the dark walls and red for the light ones. Blue is what they use on Forever stuff. You don't see so much of the blue, but it goes on all the walls. It stays there too.

  The Guardians protect what the Book Boys write on the walls. They protect th
e truth. The Guardians are a mixed crew—every way mixed. Most crews have only Boys or Girls. Some of them even have only one skin/shade band— the Turf crews are the strictest for that.

  The Guardians don't stop anyone from writing on the walls. There's only two things you can't do: you can't mess up what the Book Boys write, and you can't sign their tag to anything you write yourself.

  The Guardians are a crew. So they're not from the Rulers. Which means they can't punish you the way the Rulers can. The Guardians can't send you to the Hydro–Farm. They can't send you Outside, either.

  If you mess up what the Book Boys write, they hurt you.

  If you sign the Book Boys tag, they kill you.

  The Rulers don't allow any fighting between the crews. So what the Guardians do is against the Rules. They get caught too—every once in a while, you would see it. On the Info–Board. That's where they announce the Crimes and Punishments.

  Everybody knows the Crimes.

  Everybody knows the Punishments.

  But nobody knows who the Guardians are. And the Rulers never name a crew—all they do is give the person's Index Number and say what they did and what happened to them. If you know them, if you know them by their number, then you might know their crew. But that's the only way you could know.

  But even if you know, you are not allowed to say—that's against the Rules, to acknowledge a crew. That's what the Book Boys do that makes the Rulers hate them so much—when the Book Boys write on the walls, they use a person's name, not their Index Number. And when they name someone, they name their crew too.

  Nobody knows why they are called the Book Boys. Everybody knows some of them are girls. But not which girls, of course. The Book Boys are invisible. That's how they gather the news. Whatever they write is the truth, so they have to be everywhere the truth is.

  Whispers say that some of the Book Boys are Outside—the Rulers sent so many of them Outside that there's a whole colony of them. When the Book Boys write something about Outside on the walls, maybe that's where they get it.

  That's probably bogus—nobody ever came back from Outside, so how would they know?

  But nobody really knows—not for sure.

  The Turf crews are always writing on the walls. They don't give you the news, like the Book Boys. They just write their names, or the name of their crews, or stupid stuff…like saying they own one of the Tunnels. No crew could ever own a Tunnel. Not in the Charted Zone anyway. And outside the Charted Zone, no one would care.

  Even their crew names are stupid—the names don't tell you anything about them the way other crew names do. Like the Golden Dragons…that's one crew's name. It doesn't tell you anything, that name. It doesn't mean they are all skin/shade band 70, like some people are. And they're not giant lizards either—everyone knows the giant lizards can only live Outside, where there is light coming down on you even without the generators. At least that's the way it was before the Terror—that's what the Book Boys say. In blue. If it's written in blue, it has to be true…everybody knows that.

  The Turf crews fight each other. That's what they do. All the time. You can watch it happening…not the fighting so much, but the score…you can see it on the walls. One Turf crew will say they own something. Another crew will cross out what they wrote. That goes on for a while, one crew slashing over what another crew writes. On and on. Until, finally, one crew writes something and it stays there.

  But it never stays there too long.

  People say the Turf crews did the same thing before. Outside, before the Terror. But that's too stupid to believe. I mean, why would they kill each other over something they could never have? That's as stupid as them saying they own a Tunnel.

  Everybody learns the Big Rules first. That's because if you break one of the Big Rules, you go to the Hydro–Farm…if you're lucky. There are other Rules too. So many Rules, you could never learn them all. You're supposed to ask if you don't know. You can't ask the Rulers—nobody has ever seen one of the Rulers. But in every Tunnel there are little pockets all along the walls. Just little indentations, not deep enough to be caves. Inside there is a person and a desk. On the desk is a computer. You ask the person if there's a Rule about something. They check the computer, and they tell you the Rule. Then they give you a piece of paper. The paper says the Rule was just explained to you. You have to sign the paper with your Index Number. Then your Index Number goes into the computer and the Rulers know you asked.

  It's funny, the way they do it. If you have a Truth Question, you have to pay for the answer. You have to ask a Messenger, and they ask one of the Sages. You have to pay for that. I think it's a hundred credits, but I don't know for sure—I never asked a Truth Question. But if you ask a Rules Question, you get paid. Every time you ask a Rules question, you get two credits. Not open credits—you have to tell them which tunnel you want the credits for. But, still, for each question, you get that much. They pay you, right after they put your Index Number into the computer.

  The people who explain the Rules to you are called Bureaucrats. There are lots of them. They come in every skin/shade, but they all look alike. No, I don't mean that…they really don't. They all have the same look, that's what I mean.

  The Bad Babies were babies against the Rules. They were born against the Rules. There is a Rule about sex. You can't have sex until Year 13 if you are a boy. And not until Year17 if you are a girl. There are reasons for this, I know. There are reasons for every Rule. That's the first Rule—that there are reasons for every Rule. Good reasons. Reasons for our own good.

  I asked a Bureaucrat about the reason for a Rule once. He told me that was against the Rules, asking for reasons. But he gave me the two credits after I signed the paper, because even though I didn't ask a Rules question, I got a Rules answer.

  Anyway, the Bad Babies came from girls under Year 17—so they must have had sex when it was against the Rules, before they were allowed.

  At first, the Rulers would punish the girls. If a girl had a Bad Baby, she would have to go into one of the Medical Tunnels and get fixed. After that, they couldn't have any more babies, not even good ones.

  The Book Boys wrote that fixing the girls didn't make them stop. They had sex even when they couldn't have babies. The Book Boys wrote it in blue, so it had to be true.

  But they couldn't have sex by themselves. I mean, they could…but it wouldn't make babies. For a while, the Rulers had no one to punish for that. If a boy was in his Year i5 and a girl was too, and if they had sex, only the girl would be breaking the Rules.

  So the Rulers changed the Rules. They are allowed to do that—it's for our own good. After that, if you helped someone break a Rule, it was the same as if you broke it yourself.

  But the Bad Babies kept happening.

  You can't keep the truth from the Rulers. If they want to know something, they send you to one of the Synapse Squads. They put this metal band around your head and ask you the questions. Then they just look at the pictures and they know the truth.

  But everybody knows this doesn't work on girls.

  So when a girl would get pregnant before she was allowed, the Rulers would make every boy she knew go to a Synapse Squad. And they would find out the truth.

  But sometimes, they couldn't find the father of the Bad Baby. No matter how far they looked, they couldn't find the boy who was guilty.

  The Rulers never give up. They couldn't find the answer Out, so they looked In. They checked the Bad Baby's own spray. And that's when they found out that, sometimes, the father of the girl was also the father of the girl's baby. The father was the father, that's what the Book Boys wrote. In blue.

  This was a dilemma. The fathers were old enough to have sex, but the daughters were not. And after they changed the Rules, the fathers would be guilty too. But children belong to their parents—they own them. Everybody knows that.

  So they made an Exception. An Exception is when the Rules don't apply. So when a girl had a Bad Baby, they would take it from her and p
ut her on the Hydro–Farm. After she did her punishment time, they would send her back to her own spray.

  That didn't solve the whole problem though. While a girl was pregnant, she wasn't much good to her owners. Pregnant girls eat more, and they work less. And nobody wanted them in the Sex Tunnels either. It wasn't fair to the owners: the girl broke the Rules, not them.

  But the Rulers are very, very smart—they always figure out what to do. The Book Boys said they made another Rule, a Rule to stop all the Bad Babies. If you were an owner of a girl, when she reached Year 11, you had to bring her to one of the Medical Tunnels. They would give her an implant there, a little fan–shaped thing, five lines with a star at the base—it would always be on the outside of the right thigh, where anyone could see it.

  The implants work for six years, so there would be no more Bad Babies.

  If it wasn't for the Book Boys, no one would ever know that the Rules used to be different. If you ask a Bureaucrat about an old Rule, you would be in trouble. Everybody knows that asking about an old Rule is against the Rules.

  No wonder so many of the Book Boys are Outside.

  My name is Hexon. Even though a Warlock named me, I am a Merchant Boy. That's not because we buy and sell stuff. Lots of people buy and sell stuff, especially in the Open Tunnels. The Merchant Boys are different. We sell in the Black Market, outside the Charted Zone. We sell anything. And we share everything we get with each other.

  I was the one who heard the whisper first—that someone wanted to buy the Bad Babies. It didn't make sense. With the implants, there couldn't be any more of the Bad Babies.

  I went in the Open Tunnels to check it out. That's what Merchant Boys do—we scout for new opportunities. New frontiers, we call them.

  You have to be careful in the Open Tunnels. There's a No–Name crew in some of them. They went in there to hide. The Book Boys wrote that it was the Game Boys who started it. Then the Dancing Girls too. Killing. But not for money, for marks. Marks on their crew–clothes. It was like a contest. They only killed No–Names—"burns" they called them. They don't play that game anymore, but you still have to be careful in the Open Tunnels—some of the No–Names never came out, even after the killing stopped. And if they think you're hunting them, you wouldn't come out either.