Christmas at Bay Tree Cottage

by Linn B. Halton

  ‘Mum, Luke’s here!’ Maya holds the door open for me to step inside, while shouting over her shoulder. ‘We lit the fire, Luke. Just like on Christmas morning.’

  To my dismay I realise it’s holey-sock day again and Maya and I both stare down at my feet.

  ‘Mum might not notice,’ she whispers, laughing, and I follow her into the kitchen.

  I feel awkward, like a visitor again, and I stand, presents in hand, waiting for Elana to finish stirring the casserole. The smell of beef and red wine makes my mouth water.

  ‘Luke, can you pop the kettle on, or do you want something stronger? I wouldn’t mind a glass of wine if you are happy to do the honours. I just need to sort out the veggies and dinner will be served.’

  I place the packages on the side and sidle up to Elana to fill the kettle. Instantly she’s made me feel at home and I love the way she does that with ease. She leans slightly towards me, while her hands chop off the tops of French beans, but by the time I realise she thought I was going to kiss her cheek, the moment is lost. Luke, you just don’t have that polished, smooth approach that older guys seem to exude. It’s what a woman like Elana surely expects. Instead, I shoot her a smile and the one I receive in return is heart-felt.

  ‘We’re visiting Grandma and Pop for Christmas, Luke. And we’re going ice skating tomorrow at an outdoor rink. I’ve never been before.’

  Maya is already seated at the table, obviously keen to get dinner out of the way and move on to the present-opening bit.

  ‘And my present is hidden in the utility room. I’m not allowed to go in there until later.’

  ‘Oh, well, I can’t wait to see what it is now – I’m intrigued. Is it something from your Christmas list?’

  We both turn to face Elana, who swipes her forearm across her forehead to shift a stray tendril of hair.

  ‘No, it’s not on Maya’s list but I know she’s going to be very happy when she sees what it is.’

  Maya claps her hands and then slaps them lightly on her cheeks, rocking her face back and forth.

  ‘I love Christmas, Luke. Is Joe getting excited?’

  Elana flashes me a look, checking that Maya hasn’t put her foot in it.

  ‘Yes, he is. It’s his second Christmas ever and this year he understands a little bit about what’s going on. I can’t wait to see his face when he wakes up on Christmas morning.’

  Elana had turned back to the chopping board, but suddenly she stops. She spins around and our eyes meet.

  ‘Family Christmas at Anita’s,’ I half-whisper. ‘An unexpected invitation.’

  She nods, her face semi-frozen before she recovers her composure and smiles, this time only with her eyes.

  ‘I’m pleased for you,’ she half-whispers in return, but Maya’s attention is now focused on the Christmas cracker next to her plate.

  I wonder if my news will kill the mood, but it’s light-hearted and Maya’s excitement is infectious. After the gingerbread builder experience, which makes them all look like they are about to club someone, we move into the sitting room.

  ‘Bay Tree Cottage has a wonderful feel to it now it’s almost complete,’ I remark, filling the growing silence.

  ‘No more dust,’ chants Maya, skipping around. But it’s more to do with her rising excitement than appreciation for the aesthetics. Elana nods, appreciatively.

  ‘It’s been a huge turning point for us, Luke, and it’s all down to your hard work.’ She raises her wine glass and we chink. ‘Now, present time. Maya, can you please bring down Luke and Joe’s gifts.’

  I make my way back into the kitchen to collect my two little packages and Maya hares off up the stairs.

  ‘It will take me two trips,’ she yells behind her.

  ‘I thought you said something small?’ I question Elana, who appears behind me.

  ‘I meant in price, not necessarily size.’

  I study her face; relaxed, glowing and not a sign of a frown anywhere. This is the second when I know our moment has passed and I could kick myself for not taking it. That night after Eve left I should have taken her in my arms and refused to let go.

  Maya comes rushing downstairs with a present the size of a small pillow in her arms. She starts laughing and so does Elana.

  ‘What’s funny?’ I ask, puzzled by their reaction.

  ‘Open it and see,’ Maya squeals, holding it out to me.

  I place it on the table and begin to unwrap it carefully, building the tension. There’s so much sticky tape it seems to take forever and after a minute or so I start tearing at it. Out falls a virtual mountain of socks.

  ‘No more holey-sock day!’ Maya skips on the spot, laughing and jumping. ‘And they’re all the same colour. So you don’t have to worry about matching them up.’

  I burst out laughing. ‘It’s the perfect present, thank you so much, ladies. Do you mind if I put a pair on now?’ To their absolute delight I pull off my socks and put on a new pair, consigning the old ones to the bin.

  ‘Whose turn next, Mum?’ Maya asks, unable to contain herself.

  ‘Well, ladies, I’d rather like you to open these.’ I place the respective packages in front of them and watch as Maya tears off the paper, and Elana carefully unties the bow around her gift.

  Maya hugs the journal to her, shouting, ‘Luke, I love it, thank you! Somewhere I can write down all the things I don’t want to forget!’ She runs across, flinging her arms around me and I bend to ruffle her hair.

  ‘You’re very welcome, Maya.’

  She races upstairs, reappearing a moment or two later with a parcel wrapped in paper covered in snowmen.

  By now Elana has the music box in her hands and turns the winder. As the strains of I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas fills the air, we all stop and stare at it. The little bay tree turns steadily and Elana’s face registers sadness before she switches to smiley mode.

  ‘Ah, it’s lovely. Thank you Luke, but you shouldn’t have bought us presents. We just wanted to say a little thank you for everything you’ve done. And this is for Joe. It’s a Hot Wheels set. Maya chose it.’

  I take the box and nod, appreciatively. ‘He’ll love it and I’ll make sure he knows who it’s from when he opens it on Christmas morning.’ The thought sends a little thrill coursing through me. I’m going to be there when he wakes up and see the magic of Christmas through his eyes; I have to be grateful for that and not think about anything else. I clear my throat, trying to let go of a feeling of loss that’s crazy and stupid.

  ‘My turn!’ Maya shouts and Elana waves her hands up and down, indicating for Maya to tone it down a little. ‘Here’s your present, Mummy.’

  She carefully places her gift in Elana’s hands. ‘Don’t drop it, or it will break,’ she warns.

  As the paper falls away from the snow globe, Elana raises it up in front of her, shaking it from side to side. The falling snow partially obscures the scene.

  ‘It’s you, me and Daddy,’ Maya says, enthusiastically and I can see a fleeting moment of pain and love flash over Elana’s face. She pulls herself together very quickly and takes Maya’s hand, unable to reply and instead heads across the dining room.

  ‘Come this way.’

  Maya and I follow Elana over to the utility room and when she opens the door, the ceiling lights are twinkling, but there’s no sign of a present. Then we hear it before we see it.

  ‘Meow.’

  Maya stands still, in total shock.

  ‘Meow.’

  Elana and I stand side by side as Maya drops to the floor and crawls on all fours towards the tiny little kitten.

  ‘Hello kitty. I’m Maya. What’s her name, Mum?’ The tiny tortoiseshell kitten inches towards Maya and then turns to run away as soon as she puts out her hand.

  ‘Whatever you want it to be. She’s yours, darling.’

  ‘I want to call her Baby Girl. Oh Mum,’ Maya jumps up and rushes towards Elana, wrapping her arms around her waist. They stand hugging. ‘Thank you, thank you, thank yo
u. I love my surprise and I can’t wait to tell Daddy about her.’

  There’s a second of silence as Elana composes herself.

  ‘Daddy always said when the cottage was finished you could have a kitten and it’s almost done. She’s coming to Grandma and Pop’s with us, as we can’t leave her alone until she’s a little bigger. You have to feed her and put down fresh water for her every day. At the moment she can’t go outside, so we have to be careful not to leave the doors open. I expect she’ll stay in here for a while as it’s where her bed is, but gradually she’ll discover it’s a big wide world and there are lots of exciting places for her to hide and play.’

  Maya is totally captivated and we leave her, crouched on the floor and content to simply watch her new little playmate.

  I want to stay but I know it’s time to go. There’s nothing left to say and we both know it will just prolong the awkwardness.

  As I step out into the night air, I take a really deep breath.

  Elana’s hand brushes my cheek briefly before she begins speaking.

  ‘Life isn’t about fairytales, Luke, is it? It’s about working with the hand you’ve been dealt.’

  She leans in to kiss my cheek, but it’s a fleeting one, and then she whispers into my ear.

  ‘I’m glad you are able to have that family Christmas with Joe. Dreams can come true and you must never forget that.’

  NEW YEAR’S EVE

  Chapter 49

  Elana

  All in the Line of Work

  Baby Girl made Christmas for us all. That little ball of fluff was better entertainment than the festive line-up on TV, or the same-old games we play every year. Just watching Maya following her around, dragging cat toys across the floor while Baby Girl honed her hunting skills, made us all smile. We not only survived our second Christmas without Niall, but it passed very pleasantly.

  The day after Christmas I steeled myself and finally slipped the wedding band off my finger. I realised that it was holding me back and Baby Girl was a reminder that a lot of things were about to change in our lives. New characters were going to come into it and that wasn’t a bad thing, it just required adjustment.

  Ironically, Maya and Amelie haven’t been able to play together, as Eve and Amelie didn’t return after the Christmas trip to visit Eve’s parents. There’s been no sign of any comings and goings at all. I will be relieved when their cottage goes on the market, though, as Maya keeps asking about Amelie. I think it’s best she knows what’s happening sooner, rather than later. Maya has had two play dates with another friend from school who lives about a ten-minute drive away, and that too is something that signals the changes to come. We’ll get used to having new neighbours when the time comes and it will simply become another part of our fresh start. A new year, new beginnings.

  Between Christmas and New Year I’ve been able to get quite a bit of work done. Baby Girl has been such a distraction for Maya and kept her fully occupied while they bond. It’s like me and my shadow, funny to watch Baby Girl following Maya from room to room, as she moves around the cottage. Or Maya will sit up on her bed, reading, with Baby Girl curled up against her leg. It’s been wonderful to see how close they have become and how that tiny little bundle has triggered a sense of healing within my darling little girl. She hasn’t mentioned Niall at all recently and for that I’m very grateful because I was so out of my depth. I have no idea at all whether there is anything in it, or it’s purely imagination. But there’s always that tiny little element of doubt, isn’t there? They do say that children see the world in a different way, their eyes unblinkered by what they have yet to learn. As adults we translate everything we see, tempering it with logic and factual information we have picked up along the way. Do spirits wander among us? If they do, I’ve yet to see any proof, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. I just don’t want it happening to my daughter.

  As I walk through the cottage it feels empty without Maya and Baby Girl here, as if it’s only a shell and the heart is missing. Instinctively my hand goes to my ring finger, gently rubbing the spot that is now bare.

  I carry the mug back to the computer, feeling better for the short break away. I’ve been reading up on my notes and trying to get to the bottom of the conundrum that is Seth Greenburg. In all of the phone chats we’ve had so far I feel he’s been evasive, always steering the conversation away from himself and focusing on Aiden’s talent. I realise he’s trying to steer the direction I take in this tell-all, wanting Aiden to come out of it as a working-class hero who survived a tough childhood. And yes, his raw talent was his saving grace, the thing that rescued him from the spiral of drink and drugs, but it seems to me it’s still a fine line he’s walking.

  With a large part of the book now written in draft, the purpose of tonight is to experience the Aiden Cruise phenomenon when he performs live and to do that as a part of his audience. But I also hope to get to the bottom of why Aiden allows Seth to control virtually everything he does. Whether he likes it or not, he’s a part of Aiden’s story and I’m not prepared to exclude him.

  After an hour I have a page of notes, questions I want to ask if the opportunity presents itself, but now it’s time to get ready. How on earth I’m going to turn myself into a glam version of me, I don’t know. I’m certainly not feeling at all presentable these days, although the trip to the hairdressers this morning did wonders for the hair. I toss my head, looking at the reflection in the mirror and thinking maybe, with a little carefully applied make-up, I’ll do.

  ***

  As much as thinking about Eve pulls me down at the moment, the minute I stand in front of the full-length mirror I know she was right. It might not have cost a fortune, but I look the part. The lace panel adds interest to my little black dress and Eve’s fuchsia-red silk shawl, looped round in a cowl at the neckline, makes a statement. I fasten it on one shoulder with a silver brooch in the shape of an arrow. With the matching clutch bag and a dash of red lipstick to complement the nails, I’m done. Although how on earth I’m going to stand all evening in these heels, I have no idea. It’s been a while since my feet have been inside anything that wasn’t flat and comfy.

  I hear a car pull up on the drive and when I look out I’m shocked to see it’s a rather swish black limousine. A chauffeur, in a uniform and a cap, is walking towards the door. Any concerns that I’m over-dressed are instantly dispelled, and it’s Eve I have to thank for that.

  ***

  It seems the chauffeur, whose name is Brian, has been told to escort me everywhere. He doesn’t leave my side from the moment we arrive at what is a veritable mansion, set in acres of parkland, in deepest Surrey. It’s all a little overwhelming, to be honest, even though he does dispense with his cap. It makes him look more like a minder and it’s hard not to laugh. People are actually looking at us, no doubt trying to work out whether I’m anyone famous; I just feel uncomfortable and try my best to avoid eye contact.

  We bump into the dreamy Morton Wiseman, who looks every bit as good up-close as he does on the screen. Brian introduces us and we shake hands. I wish him a happy birthday, then Brian ably steers me left and right, until we find our seats. For a private party it’s all rather large-scale and formal, but then who has a home with a purpose-built stage in a ballroom that can accommodate probably well over a hundred people? This is wealth – and some. Brian keeps up a running commentary, obviously having been briefed on what I need to know. When Aiden and his crew take the stage, I recognise most of the faces and Brian confirms there are a couple of guest musicians who aren’t a part of the usual line-up.

  I don’t know if Aiden recognises me, but it seems every time my eyes are on him he’s looking directly at me. Is he singing to me? At one point I feel there are only the two of us in the room and I have to admit, Seth has done a good job of getting Aiden to sell himself. He’s charisma on a stick, literally. You forget the bad-boy stuff and all you see is a guy singing his heart out, loving what he does. And then, quite unexpectedly, I underst
and why Seth is so protective. The only place Aiden feels happy is on stage performing; it’s where he doesn’t have to pretend to be anyone other than the talented singer he undoubtedly is – but when the performance ends the nightmare begins.

  ‘Ms James, Mr Greenburg has asked me to take you to meet the band as soon as they wrap up the show. This is the last number, so I suggest we start making a move towards the back of the room as it’s going to get a little busy once everyone stands.’

  I nod and follow Brian, feeling as if I’m being treated as if I was royalty. Seth has thought of everything in his desire to impress me. Hasn’t it occurred to him that I’d feel managed, in much the same way he manages Aiden? The truth is the truth. However, I’m glad I came to see the band tonight because I can now really understand the magic that keeps the fans wanting more. Aiden is a powerhouse and his songs transport you to another place; his voice is a gift that makes you wish you could sing like that too. It wraps itself around you, drawing you in as if he’s singing just to you and it means something more than a bunch of lyrics and notes. Often the words are sad, but the melodies are uplifting and you know it’s all going to end well. Cleverly constructed, even the slow numbers grab your attention and inspire you to sing along.

  ‘Will I get to meet Seth, along with the group?’

  ‘I’m not sure, Ms James. Mr Greenburg didn’t confirm whether or not he would be there. I can go and enquire as to his whereabouts, if you like?’

  ‘No, that’s fine, Brian. Thank you for being such a thoughtful guide. I’m sure he’ll appear at some point in the evening.’

  ‘Through here, watch your step. Aiden Cruise, this is Ms James.’

  He turns and we shake hands; there’s a tiredness reflected in his face that is nothing to do with his performance tonight. He’s almost burnt out and I’ve seen it before. No wonder Seth is so worried; he wants this book written before anything else can go wrong. At the moment, Aiden has been behaving himself, with little bad press, but it’s the first time in several years that there’s been a hiatus as long as this. Before me I see a young man who is going through the motions. I already know that I’ll get little from this interview other than polite, pre-arranged answers to the questions Seth knows I’m going to ask.