Cowboy's Triplet Trouble

by Carla Cassidy

  He crept out of the bed without waking her, grabbed his clothes for the day and then walked quietly down the hallway to the other bathroom in order to shower and dress without bothering her.

  She was leaving today. She was taking her children and leaving his house. Things would go back to the way they had been before she’d arrived.

  He should be happy, but as he stepped beneath the hot spray of the shower, happiness wasn’t the emotion that resonated through him.

  As he washed away the scent of her, all he could think of was what a mess this had all become. He hoped that if Shirley was responsible for the attacks on Grace then Greg would get evidence of it and Shirley would face the consequences.

  In the very depths of his soul he thought she was the likely culprit. He just didn’t want to believe that Justin had played a role in the attacks in any way.

  But if nothing else had come out of this time with Grace, Jake now realized he needed to let go of his brother. It was time for Justin to stand or fall on his own.

  Grace had been right when she’d told him he’d been carrying the sins of his father for too long. Nothing he could do would fix the childhood the three men had endured, a childhood they had all endured together. It was time to let go of the responsibility and let Justin be a man.

  After he’d showered and dressed and left the bathroom, he thought he heard a sound from the girls’ room. One peek into the room and he saw Bonnie peering over the top of her crib, her wide smile sliding straight into his heart as she raised her arms to him.

  Seeing that the other two were still sleeping, he hurried to her crib and picked her up. He didn’t speak to her until he’d left the room.

  “You’re a little early bird this morning,” he said as he carried her down the stairs.

  She bounced on his hip and wrapped her arms around his neck, as if delighted to have him all to herself. He was going to miss them. He’d never thought it possible, but he was going to miss seeing the triplets’ smiling faces first thing in the morning, hearing their babble and giggles filling the house.

  As he placed Bonnie in one of the high chairs in the kitchen, he didn’t even want to think about how much he was going to miss Grace.

  Always before the thought of silence in the house had filled him with a sense of pleasure. But when he thought about how quiet the house would be with the triplets and Grace gone, his heart pressed painful and tight in his chest.

  They weren’t his issue. They’d never been his issue, he reminded himself. Justin and circumstances out of his control had put him in the middle of this, and he should be grateful that within hours he’d be out of the middle of it all.

  He gave Bonnie a handful of the round oat cereal he’d seen Grace give her before, then set about making a pot of coffee. As he waited for the brew to drip through, he stood at the window and watched dawn break across the sky, aware that the minutes of Grace and the girls being here in the house were ticking away.

  He knew she cared about him. It was obvious in the way she looked at him, in the very fact that she’d made love with him the night before. She cared about him a lot, might even fancy herself in love with him.

  But he couldn’t help but wonder if most of her attraction to him was because he looked like Justin, because she could fantasize just by looking at him that he was her daughters’ father.

  When he’d held her in his arms last night and she’d closed her eyes, had she imagined that he was his brother? Had she pretended that it was Justin kissing her, Justin loving her? After all, Jake was the version of Justin she’d probably like to have.

  He shook his head to dislodge the thought. At this point what did it matter? Justin wasn’t going to suddenly become the man she needed in her life. Jake wasn’t going to abandon his own dreams. She was leaving. Within weeks Jeffrey and Kerri would be moved out, and he’d decided moments before that from now on Justin would truly be on his own.

  The future he’d always dreamed for himself was a mere stone’s throw away. All he had to do was get through the goodbyes of this morning and the rest of his life would fall into place.

  He heard the water start running someplace upstairs and knew that Grace was up. Another early riser probably eager to get back to her real life, he thought as a hard knot formed in the pit of his stomach.

  She’d been fine before she’d come here, and there was no reason for him to believe that she wouldn’t be fine when she left. She was a strong woman, had apparently had to be strong all her life. He didn’t need to worry about her.

  Minutes later she came into the kitchen. “Looks as if I’m not the only early riser,” she said as she dropped a kiss on Bonnie’s forehead and then moved to the coffeemaker on the countertop.

  “Did you sleep well?” he asked, trying not to notice how pretty she looked in a pair of jeans and a jewel-green blouse that electrified the green of her eyes.

  “Very well,” she replied. As she turned to pour herself a cup of coffee, he fought the impulse to step up behind her and press his lips against the nape of her neck.

  He wondered if it was just an effort to somehow continue the intimacy they’d shared the night before.

  When she turned to face him he was glad he hadn’t, for there was a distance in her eyes that let him know she was already gone. Mentally and emotionally she was already back on the road headed home.

  “You want some breakfast?” he asked.

  She shook her head and carried her cup to the table. “No, when Abby and Casey wake up I’ll feed them before we take off, but I’m really not hungry.”

  He remained standing at the window. “Going to be a beautiful day for your drive home.”

  “I’m just looking forward to getting home and back into my own routine.”

  “How’s the shoulder?”

  She moved it experimentally. “Still a little stiff and sore, but manageable. We’ll be fine, Jake.”

  “I know,” he replied. “I’m just sorry it has to be this way. I’m sorry you didn’t get what you came here for where Justin is concerned.”

  She offered him a small smile. “I told you before, you don’t owe me any apologies on his behalf. Besides, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?” She took a sip of her coffee and then placed the mug on the table. “The good thing is I know where to come if any health issues should arise with the girls and I need answers. They will know where they come from. I won’t have to have the embarrassment of telling them I don’t know who or where their father is. Eventually Justin will probably have to deal with them one way or another, but there’s nothing more I can do here.” She released a deep sigh. “I’m ready to go home.”

  At that moment one of the other girls upstairs cried out and officially the day began. It was just after nine when the triplets had been fed, the car had been loaded and there was nothing left to do except tell her goodbye.

  He stood at her driver’s side door and watched as she slid behind the wheel. There was a part of him that wanted to stop her, to tell her that somehow, someway, she’d gotten under his skin, delved into his heart in a way he hadn’t expected.

  He wanted to pull her out from behind the steering wheel and grab her, feel the warmth of her against him once again and tell her that he didn’t want her to leave. But his body refused to follow through on the thought.

  “Bye-bye,” Bonnie said, and the other two little girls echoed the sentiment.

  “And I think that’s my cue,” Grace said as she started the engine. “I left my address and phone numbers on a piece of paper on the kitchen table for Justin. If he ever decides he wants to discuss the girls or come and see them, then all he needs to do is call me and we’ll set something up.”

  “Grace?” He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say, but he was fairly sure it wasn’t goodbye.

  “Yes?” For a moment in the depths of her eyes he saw something shiny and bright, something that made him feel if she drove out of his driveway it would be the worst thing that ever happened to him. Yet he wasn
’t willing to change anything.

  “Drive safely,” he finally said.

  The light in her eyes dimmed slightly, and she put the car into gear. “I will.” She drew a deep breath. “Jake, you’re a man who is meant to be a husband and a father. This big house was meant to be filled with family. You’ve spent the first half of your life fixing everybody else’s. Don’t spend the last half of your life running away from your own.”

  She didn’t wait for him to reply but stepped on the gas and shot down the driveway as if chased by the devil himself. He watched until the car disappeared from his vision and only then turned and headed back inside.

  The utter silence of the house should have embraced him with welcoming arms. He walked through the living room and heard only the sound of his own beating heart.

  It’s what he’d always wanted. It’s what he’d dreamed of. Tomorrow Kerri and Jeffrey would be home, and he doubted that he’d hear from Justin anytime soon. He’d have the house and the silence to himself for the remainder of the day.

  The sight of the three high chairs in the kitchen speared a surprising feeling of loss through his heart. For the last couple of days they’d felt like his children.

  And Grace had felt like his woman.

  But I don’t want a woman, he told himself as he sank down at the table. And he didn’t want children. He didn’t want the mess, the fuss and the noise. He didn’t want the dramas or the responsibilities that came with relationships and parenthood. He’d done enough where that was concerned.

  Peace and quiet. What more could a man ask for? He picked up the sheet of paper where Grace had written her address and phone numbers.

  By all rights she should have run as fast and as far as she could after her first meeting with Justin, but she hadn’t. She’d stuck around to give him a second chance. She’d desperately wanted a father for her daughters. She told him she knew what it was like to grow up without one, and that wasn’t what she wanted for her babies.

  Of all the men in the world she could have fallen into bed with at a wedding, why did it have to be Justin, who would probably never find it within himself to be what Grace and the girls needed?

  He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes, playing and replaying each and every moment he’d spent with her and the triplets.

  He made himself a mental note to call Greg later in the day to see if he had any news about the attacks. Even though Grace was gone, Jake still wanted the guilty party found. And if it had been Shirley, then Justin would be crazy to stick with a woman capable of that kind of thing.

  Grace had told him that it had been a near-death experience that had made her decide to come here to the ranch in the first place, and then she’d gone from the frying pan into the fire by being attacked here.

  He opened his eyes and sat up straighter with a frown. She’d told him she’d been forced off the road a couple of days before coming here. It had only been by the grace of God that her car hadn’t flipped over and killed her. It had been a close call.

  His brain suddenly fired with all kinds of suppositions. Was it possible that the shooting had been the second attempt on Grace’s life? That the first attempt had been that night in Wichita before she’d ever left to come here?

  If that was the case, then it changed everything. That had happened before Justin even knew about the triplets, before Shirley had known anything about Grace and Justin’s night together.

  His heart began beating an unnatural rhythm of stress. If that was the case, then it meant somebody had tried to kill her in Wichita and then had followed her here to try again.

  And if that was true, then that meant she wasn’t driving back to safety but rather was driving back into danger.

  Chapter 11

  Alone.

  Grace had been alone most of her life. When she’d been young she’d learned to give herself the comfort and love she didn’t get from her mother. She certainly got little true companionship or caring from her sister.

  The triplets filled her heart and soul like nobody and nothing ever had before, but they weren’t meant to fill the loneliness that had been a part of Grace’s life for as long as she could remember.

  Jake had filled that space, that loneliness, and more than that there had been several times when he’d given her a touch of crazy hope that there might be something there with him for her and her girls.

  Until the moment she’d put her car into gear, that little touch of hope had shimmered in her heart. He’d spoken her name with such wanting, and her heart had nearly stopped in anticipation of him pulling her out of the car and telling her he loved her and the girls. But he’d let her drive away, and by the time she’d reached the end of the ranch’s driveway, tears raced down her cheeks.

  It had been crazy for her to even think for one minute that he’d want to take on her and the triplets, that somehow he’d fallen in love with her and that love was deep enough for him to throw his own wants, his own needs, away.

  Alone. She was going to be alone for a long time to come. It would take a very special man to want to take on not just her, but her three daughters as well. She was a woman who came with baggage, three little suitcases who babbled and drooled, who would grow up to walk and get into things and create chaos.

  For just a stupid, crazy moment she’d thought that special man was Jake. She raised a hand from the steering wheel to swipe at an errant tear.

  She felt half-sick to her stomach with the pain that pierced through her center. She never knew heartache could be such a physical pain.

  It was her own fault that she was leaving here with a broken heart. She’d allowed him to get too close, had opened her heart to him as she’d never opened her heart to a man before.

  She had the two-and-a-half-hour drive to pull her self together, to shove thoughts of Jake out of her mind and focus on her real life.

  At least Natalie had a job. Maybe it was time Grace took some of the advice she had given Jake. It was time for her to stop rescuing Natalie, stop trying to make up for the lack of a father and the less-than-perfect relationship with her mother.

  Natalie had her monthly income from her inheritance, and with even a part-time job she should do fine as long as she learned to stop partying and live within her means.

  Grace could only hope the Jimmy she was dating was a good and decent young man, but it was time Grace took her own advice and stopped rescuing her sister.

  She frowned, wondering what damage Natalie had managed to do to the credit card she’d let her use. Supposedly Natalie had just needed gas money and groceries, but there was no telling what Grace might find charged on the card when she finally got the bill.

  It didn’t take long for the lull of the wheels on the pavement to put the girls to sleep, leaving Grace alone with her thoughts. And they were all of Jake.

  He had been everything she’d ever dreamed of in a man for herself, everything she’d ever dreamed of as a father for her children. It was as if Bonnie had identified Jake as somebody important in their lives the first time she’d batted her eyelashes at him. Watching him with them had filled Grace’s soul with a sense of rightness.

  He’d loved the girls like Grace had hoped their father would. When he’d played with them, wiped their mouths, laughed at their antics, there had been a feeling of family, a warmth that had filled Grace’s soul.

  Grace blinked away a new flurry of tears. What she didn’t understand was how she could feel such loss when she’d never really had him to begin with. They had played house for a couple of days due to circumstances beyond their control.

  Everything he had done for her while she’d been at the ranch had probably been part of him doing what he always did—taking care of Justin’s messes.

  She jumped as her cell phone rang. With one hand she dug it out of her purse and looked at the caller ID. Jake. The very last person in the world she wanted to talk to at the moment.

  Why would he be calling? To tell her she left something behind? She was
fairly sure she’d gotten out of there with all her belongings. Her heart was a different story.

  She didn’t even want to hear his voice right now. She knew the sound would merely pull forth the tears she’d been desperately trying to hold back. She turned the phone off and dropped it back into her purse. She’d return his call later, when she was back home in her own environment and not feeling quite so vulnerable to him.

  The girls’ nap didn’t last long. Within half an hour they were awake and chattering like magpies, filling the silence that had been in the car but incapable of soothing the hollow emptiness that resided in Grace’s heart—the space where Jake had been.

  By the time she pulled into her driveway she was grateful the drive was over. The girls had started to get cranky, needing lunch and a longer nap, and Grace’s shoulder ached from the driving.

  It took another hour to get everything unloaded from the car, feed the girls and get them down for their naps, and then she took one of the pain pills the doctor in Cameron Creek had given her and stretched out on her sofa.

  There were a million things she should be doing, like throwing in a load of laundry, figuring out what she was going to have for supper or contacting MysteryMom to let her know that Justin had been found but was ultimately lost.

  What she wouldn’t confess to MysteryMom was that she’d been fool enough to fall in love with one of Justin’s brothers. That she’d been fool enough to get pregnant by a man incapable of being a father and had fallen in love with a man incapable of loving her back.

  Jake, her heart cried out as she closed her eyes and sought the oblivion of sleep. If nothing else she hoped that someday he would get over his own baggage and find love with somebody, build a family that would make him see that chaos and noise when filled with love was so much better than silence and being all alone.

  She finally fell asleep with her heart aching, wondering how long it would take before she could forget all about Jake Johnson. She dreamed of him, of being held in his arms as they made love. The dream transitioned to him holding her babies and all of them laughing. Then she went from dreamland to sudden awakeness, her heart beating a frantic rhythm that had nothing to do with the visions that had filled her sleep.