by A. m Madden
I feel bad for running them ragged because we are staying somewhere else, but there’s a reason for this madness. The Marriott is just not special enough for what I have planned. Everyone who is aware of our predicament has been nothing but supportive, including my band.
I received a text from Lizzy announcing that she and Evan have arrived and the suite is perfect. She helped to organize everything I needed for my private dinner with Leila. They are taking in the sights and will meet up with us later tonight, in time for the intimate party I’ve planned with the rest of the band. I tried to get Patti and Mandi to join us, but they just weren’t able to come so soon since their Chicago trip.
We should be pulling into Vegas in a few hours. It’s super early, and I can’t sleep once again. It works out to my advantage since it’s the only time I can sit on the bus with complete privacy. The rest of the guys are all sleeping in their bunks, and it’s just our driver, the laptop and me.
I decide to take a chance and text Leila.
are you up?
When she doesn’t respond, I check out some of the gossip sights to see if anything new has festered overnight. I Google Leila’s name and the usual posts come up. Her haters are still spewing nonsense, but no one is really paying attention to them. Seeing her gorgeous face on the screen fuels my hunger for her. I miss her so much. I miss having my arms wrapped around her each night like I used to. There are some new posts from fans that heard her song on the radio. Just thinking about it causes my cock to twitch. Her voice does things to me. The song Malcolm chose for her is perfection. It’s just a matter of time when every station from coast to coast will be playing her hourly.
Next, I open our website and am shocked at the number of followers we now have. Just a few short weeks ago we had a few thousand followers. Our numbers are now in the tens of thousands. They adore us. They call themselves The DL Sinners. Their loyalty to us is amazing. They jump on all our updates, posts, and pictures that Jen adds to our blog. They pimp us out tirelessly. They attack all and any haters. They have our backs, and it’s humbling to know all these strangers would defend us, support us, and share our story just because they love our music. It’s all the awesome support we are getting from our fans that keeps me sane.
As I enter my own name in the search bar, a new blog site pops up as the first entry.
Ah, fuck. The name alone tells me this isn’t good.
A chick I banged created a blog for all the other chicks I banged. There are hundreds of followers, all detailing their connection to me. Scrolling through their faces makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t even remember the majority of them.
Great, fucking great. This is just what I need right now.
hey babe, whatcha doin’? Leila responds to my earlier text.
um. nothing.
are you jerking off?
no. i can’t. my stupid bunk squeaks.
lmao. i’m sorry, i wish i could help.
you could always talk dirty to me. I reply in a desperate attempt.
it kinda doesn’t work over text.
attach a pic. that’ll work.
that’s all i need. a naked pic ending up in the wrong hands.
just my hand. singular. my other hand would be busy.
where would your other hand be busy? your bunk squeaks and you are surrounded by men.
Damn it. let’s stop talking about this.
you started it.
ok, smartass.
why are you up so early?
Couldn’t sleep.
So, watcha doin’? She repeats her question from earlier.
I stare at her text for a full minute.
jack.?
do I have to tell you?
Yes!
i’m on the internet.
watching porn?
Ha ha. i’m googling.
Ugh. I don’t want to know…wait- yes I do.
When I don’t respond, she adds,
hello?
First off, i read about your new song. it’s starting to be played.
Yeah, Malcolm sent me a text telling me.
You sound so hot.
You’re biased.
True. But you do.
So second?
Huh?
You said first off. What else are you doin’?
Nothin’
Liar.
I once again stare at the phone. Jeez, how do I tell her all my ex-fucks have banded together
to brag about their experiences with me?
?? waiting…
i’m telling you because I promised not to keep things from you - lairlovers.com
oh my god!
A few minutes pass and no additional texts come through. Now it’s my turn to prompt her.
lei?
really jack?
i’m sorry !
i love jack lair…i love jack lair…he loves me…he loves me…
what are you doing?
reminding myself.
i do. i love you more than anything in this world.
i know.
i’ll make it up to you.
Yes you will!
I wish you were here now! I admit.
Me too.
My girlfriend is so fucking awesome.
The roadies are all yapping like a bunch of women. I sit watching them make their plans, while scowling. They are starting at one end of the strip and bouncing from go-go bar to go-go bar, until they make it to the other end. Will is joining them. This is perfect. We will not have to worry about them for hours.
On their way out, I threaten, “No one better get arrested tonight.”
The minute they leave the bus, I call Leila.
“Where am I meeting you? Can you give me a hint?”
“Nope. Oscar will handle getting you there. See you in a few.”
I hang up before she has the chance to ask another question.
Hunt, Scott, Dylan and Trey are all hanging together. The roadies think I’m joining them. Instead, I take a cab straight to the Bellagio. As I stand in the suite, I am filled with anxiety…not in a bad way. More like a kid on Christmas morning.
I have a few minutes before Oscar will get here with Leila. The candles are lit. The rose petals are scattered. The table is set facing the floor to ceiling windows affording a dead center view of the fountains. I have nothing to do now but wait for her to arrive.
If I were a smoker, I’d want a cigarette right about now. After watching seventeen long minutes tick away on the digital clock that sits on the end table, I start pacing the room. At the twenty-six minute mark, there is a knock on the door.
I release a deep breath and walk over to open it.
Leila stands alone, smiling shyly. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“The Bellagio huh? There is no way the label approved the Bellagio.”
“No, this is all me.”
“You look so handsome.” She appraises my button down shirt and dark denim.
“Don’t look so shocked. I can clean up sometimes.” I step back to admire her. She makes shorts and a t-shirt look amazing. “You look good enough to eat.”
“I feel under dressed compared to you.” She moves right into my arms. “Seeing you in this shirt makes me want to slowly unbutton it.”
“You’re such a tease.” I kiss the top of her head and move aside to let her in. She takes in the room, with her mouth gaping open.
“You did all this for me?” She looks over to see me nodding wordlessly. “Jack, this is beautiful.”
I shrug and admit, “I have some romance in me.”
“I can see that. I love it.”
I take her hand and pull her towards the couch.
“I wanted to make this special. Being apart has been pure torture.”
“It’s been torture for me too.” She settles against me, as we quietly enjoy just being together. This girl completely changed me. I love it.
“Do you want to dance?”
She takes my hand and fits herself against me. While staring into my eyes, I bend for a kiss. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her even closer. “Do you like the song choice?”
“I love it. You sang this to me in Cleveland. I love to hear you sing. You’ve thought of everything to make this the perfect evening. Thank you.”
“I have a few more surprises for you.”
She looks up at me wide-eyed. “What are they?”
“You’ll see.”
We sway to the music, wordlessly. There isn’t a reason to talk. We both know what the other is thinking. We both know what the other is feeling. We are two halves of one heart. As we cling to each other, I catalog the feel of her in my arms. I want to commit to memory the way her body fits up perfectly against mine. The way her hair feels like silk against my cheek. The way her skin feels against my fingers as I grip her waist beneath her shirt. The way the gold flecks in her eyes glisten when she looks up at me through unshed tears.
Once the song ends, I wipe away the tears that finally escape. “Happy tears?”
“Extremely.”
“Good. Are you ready for your next surprise?”
She smiles and nods quietly.
I take her hand and position her at the windows, facing the fountains. She takes it all in. My heart pounds frantically in my chest, as I stand behind and possessively wrap her in my arms. She runs her hands along my forearms and leans back against me.
A few minutes later, the lights that illuminate the front of the hotel dim.
“This is incredible. They time the fountains to the music.” I say directly into her ear. Goose bumps appear along her arms. I’m not sure if it’s from the fountains or from the touch of my lips.
“I’ve heard of this, and I’ve always wanted to see it.”
The dancing waters rise majestically just as the music begins. A few seconds into the song, she bolts around to face me. “Uhh,” she sucks in a breath and adds, “That’s my song.” I nod while smiling. “How did you do this?”
“The label helped.” I turn her around so she can see the show. It’s beautiful. The way the water dramatically sways in tune to my chords. I move to stand beside her so I can watch her reaction. She clasps my hand in both of hers, wide-eyed and tightens her fingers each time the pillars of water shoot high into the air. The song comes to an end, and the fountains quietly subside. As hoards and hoards of spectators lining the perimeter start to move away towards their intended destinations, our view of the street becomes unobstructed.
I swallow nervously, as she turns to face me. Her eyes are glistening with emotion.
“Leila, I love you so much that it’s sometimes hard for me to breathe. You have changed my life. You have altered every cell in my body. You own me, completely. By simply staring into my eyes, you can bring me to my knees.”
I gently lift her hand, placing a kiss on her ring finger. “I know things have been difficult. I will have to live with the pain I’ve caused you. I still don’t understand why you are with me. But I want you to know I will do everything in my power to make you happy. I will laugh with you. I will cry with you. I will keep you safe. I will remind you how much I love you every day for the rest of our lives.”
A single tear rolls down her cheek. I gently wipe it away before dropping down onto one knee. “Leila Marino, will you marry me?”
Her nod begins before my sentence is complete. Her smile illuminates her face.
“Yes.”
I reach into my pocket and pull out the ring that I’ve chosen for her. According to Lizzy, it’s simple, it’s elegant and it’s stunning. As I slip it on, her finger trembles adorably. Still holding her hand, I stand before her.
“I love you more than anything in this world. It no longer matters to me if we reach fame or not, because my career has taken a back seat to you.” We gaze into each other’s eyes, my heart racing from the reality of our connection.
“Jack, I also love you more than anything in this world. Everything I do, I do for you. Everything that happens from here on in, I’ll be standing right beside you, good or bad.” She moves towards me and circles me with her embrace. I bury one hand in her hair, the other I use to press her into me.
“Promise me something.” She whispers into my chest.
“Anything.”
“Promise me you will say those exact words to me the day I marry you. I never want to forget them.” She looks up at me as her eyes once again fill with tears.
“Oh, baby. I promise.” I lift her chin until our lips touch. The kiss becomes passionate and heated. She pulls away gasping for a breath.
“One of these times, I’m going to pass out from lack of oxygen.” She teases, as the tears
continue to escape. I gently wipe them away, while taking in her beauty. She simply takes my breath away.
“I’ll revive you.” Bending to give her a chaste kiss, I ask, “Do you like your ring?”
She smiles adorably. “Oh yeah, I have a ring.” She pulls back to inspect it as her eyes bulge in the process. “Jack, it’s absolutely gorgeous. When did you do this?”
“A few weeks ago.” I saw the ring online and tracked it down at Tiffany’s in New York City. I had Lizzy pick it up for me. I used her mom’s wedding ring as a size indicator and hoped for the best. This was all before Leila broke up with me. Afterwards, Lizzy kept insisting she should return the ring, but I wouldn’t have it. At the time, she thought I was losing my mind. I guess my heart just knew we weren’t over yet. As it turns out, my heart was right. Liz had to travel across the country with it.
“There’s more to the story, but I’ll tell you later. I just want to make sure you like it. I can return it if…”
“Don’t say another word.” She interrupts. “I absolutely love it.”
There’s a knock at the door. “That’s dinner.” I pull away to let the bellhop wheel in a cart that is filled with enough food to serve four. He wordlessly sets up our plates and pours the champagne. After I offer a tip and close the door behind him, I watch Leila as she gently lifts random lids. She grins when she sees what’s under the silver dome. “Grilled cheese and fries?”
“Our first meal together at Leo’s. Don’t forget the apple pie. I could have gotten lobster, but this means more to me.”
She gently pulls her bottom lip between her teeth before she whispers. “Why are you so perfect?”
I shrug and respond, “Because of you.”
During our meal, the fountains start up again giving us another front row view.
“This has got to be the most romantic proposal ever orchestrated.”
Shrugging, I admit. “Maybe.”
“You are a man of many talents.”
“What are your favorites?”
“What, talents? I have too many to list.” She grins at me and adds, “So, what’s my other surprise?”
“You’ll see.”
She stands and moves around the table. I shift sideways to pull her onto my lap. I am literally aching for her.
“When do you want to get married?”
“I don’t know. We are kind of busy for the next few months. Once we get home we can see what dates work.”
“Can you promise me it will be sooner than later? I don’t know what kind of wedding you want, but my only request is it be quick.”
“I’d be happy with our closest friends and family. I don’t want something big.” As I nuzzle her neck, she asks, “I have a request.”
“Anything you want.”
“Can you make love to me?”
Pretending to debate this torturous invitation, I smirk, “Hmm. Can I?” Standing with her in my arms, I carry her into the bedroom and deposit her on the king size bed. “I just need to text someone real quick. Don’t move.”
She frowns adorably. “Hurry.”
I close the door and text Lizzy as quickly as my thumbs can move.
Ok. u cqn comr bavk and dont mke noixe
HUH? English please.
Huffing, I try again.
Keep up please. Come back and don’t make noise. Text hunt too.
Oh. Ok.
When I open the bedroom door, my gorgeous fiancé is patiently waiting and she isn’t wearing a stitch of clothing.
“Holy shit.”
“What took you so long?”
“I’m sorry.” I remove my clothes as if they are on fire. Leila watches me with a heated gaze. I never once break eye contact with her. Once I’m as bare as she is, I move to lie next to her on the bed. “You had asked me for something?”
“Yes, make love to me.”
My response is to attach my lips to hers. As I hold her head still, I suck on her top lip, then her bottom lip, then both together. My tongue follows the pattern, running along the top, then bottom, then inside to stroke along hers. In an attempt to push me along, she moves closer, eliminating the sliver of space that is between us. I don’t want to rush this, but the effort it takes to move at such an unhurried pace is pure agony.
She moans and wraps her fingers in my hair and then slides her leg in between mine. I can feel her nipples teasing my chest as she presses her breasts against me. All of her reactions are normally triggers for me. Today, I summon every ounce of willpower I have to continue with just this one kiss.
After a few more minutes, she begs. “Jack, I need you, now.” Her plea causes me to surrender. I slowly position myself over her and she tightens her grip in anticipation.
Words cannot begin to describe the connection I feel towards her. There isn’t one single suitable word. The closest I can come up with is severe, consuming, crushing, and maybe fierce? But even combined, they are still lacking.
I stop moving my lips over hers, and she slowly opens her eyes staring straight into my soul. I’m completely exposed to her in a way I’ve never been in my entire life. She has the ability to end me, the power to destroy me. My beating heart sits in her hands. I’ve never been this vulnerable to anything or anyone, and all I can do is surrender.
“Saying I love you isn’t enough. There’s so much more I feel. I don’t know how to tell you.” She nods quietly in agreement. “Even showing you isn’t enough. It’s simply not enough.”