Say You'll Stay

by Michaels, Corinne

  We ride along the property for a while, the sun is peeking over the horizon. No words are spoken until we reach a field I know well. “What do you say?” I can hear the dare in his voice.

  I bite my lip as I think about it. If we allow the horses to open up, it’ll require some galloping, which I haven’t done in seventeen years. I can be scared or I can plunge in head first. “Let’s go.”

  Once we break through the clearing, we get a few yards out and Wyatt nods. My nerves flutter as the horse pushes through. It’s been so long. But I remember the feelings as if it were yesterday. I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath before the trees part. As I exhale, Shortstop flies.

  I smile as I hold the reins and lean forward. My legs move with his gallop and I feel alive. My heart can’t contain any pain as I fly. Each push of his legs sends me to a place where there is no sadness. No death haunting my thoughts, just air. The struggle to breathe lifts. All I am is free. Freedom breaks the chains that have bound me. Chains that have crippled me.

  We ride for miles through the Tennessee countryside. I glance over and see Wyatt staring back. He smiles as if he can read my thoughts. He pulls back, slowing his horse to a trot, and I follow.

  “There she is,” he says innocently. I know Wyatt, and nothing he says is offhanded. He’s a man who says what he means.

  “You see too much.”

  “I know you. I’ve known you since we were infants. So yeah, I see you. You going to tell me what’s really going on?”

  I jerk back on the reins and the lightness I felt moments ago dissipates. “I’m just trying to get my bearings.”

  Wyatt doesn’t say anything, but I can feel the air thicken. “I’ve never known you to give up.” I look over quickly and his eyes stay on mine. “Don’t start now. Fight hard, because there’s nothing you can’t do.”

  So many thoughts float through my mind, but I can’t seem to get them to come out. I want to cry, scream, confess, and run as fast as I can. I don’t want to feel anymore. Why can’t I be numb? Isn’t there a way for me to I can hold onto that feeling of weightlessness? Because I really need it. I deserve it.

  “Not today. Give me today,” I say and then spur the horse forward.

  As we race back toward the ranch, there is no peace. The high that I was chasing is gone. Freedom is an intoxicating emotion that I want to drown in. But I’m not free. I’ve been condemned to live back in Bell Buckle.

  Wyatt follows me to the barn and holds the horses as I climb down. “Thanks for this,” I say, touching his arm.

  He smiles and tips his head. “Anytime, Cowgirl.”

  “You know, you’re one of the few things I missed.”

  He laughs. “I always knew you liked me best.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far.”

  “I’m glad you’re back. I know you’re not, and I get why you stayed away.” He pauses for just a second. “But I’m glad you’re in Bell Buckle, where you belong. Next we’ll work on getting you to smile more.”

  “Don’t get too comfortable with me being around. I’m not staying forever.” I turn and head out.

  “Presley?” Wyatt’s voice stops me.

  “Yeah?”

  “There’s not a soul who doesn’t have a skeleton of some sort, but the longer you keep it locked up, the longer it’s going to hold you down.”

  Tears pool and I fight back the words. I want to blurt it out. Tell him, or hell, anyone , the truth. No one understands the visions that I can’t stop seeing. His eyes. The way he didn’t move. The black bag he left in. It’s there all the damn time. I want it to go away, but it won’t.

  “I want—” I start. “I can’t yet. I want to, but I can’t.”

  He nods. “Well, anytime you wanna ride my stallion . . . feel free to let me know.”

  “Oh, my God.” I laugh. Leave it to Wyatt to soften the mood.

  “That’s what they call me.”

  “What lucky girls.” I snort in disgust.

  “Hey,” he says as an afterthought. “What are you doing tonight?”

  I pretend to have to think. “Not a damn thing.”

  “Be ready at seven. I need someone to take a ride with me.”

  I look at him as if he sprouted a third head. That’s all I need. Being seen in this damn town riding around with another Hennington brother. No, thank you. “On second thought, I am busy.”

  “Get un-busy.”

  “It doesn’t work that way. I have the boys.”

  Cooper’s voice breaks our mini argument. “I’ve got the boys. You need to leave this property before people say we’re holding you hostage.”

  I look at my brother, wishing I could punch him in the balls. What is with the damn men in my life? All of them think they know what’s best for me. Pains in my damn ass.

  “I’m not up to it.”

  “Good,” Wyatt says and claps his hands. “I’ll see you later.”

  “I said no.”

  “I don’t accept.”

  “I’m not going,” I say with my arms crossed.

  Wyatt steps forward. “I’ve carried your tiny ass out of that bedroom window once before. I’ll do it again. Be ready or you’re going in whatever you’re wearing.” He taps my nose and saunters off with me scowling.

  There’s not a doubt in my mind he’ll do it. And not a freaking person in my house who would stop him. Damn him.

  “P RESLEY! WYATT IS HERE!” MAMA calls out.

  “So is this a date?” Cayden asks.

  “No. Not at all,” I reassure him. There’s no way I want to date anyone, and certainly no one from here. I’ll never go through that again. Besides, Wyatt is like a brother to me. “Wyatt is a friend that I went to school with. He just needs someone to go run some errands with.”

  Logan walks over and then clutches his arms around me. “I miss Daddy.”

  I cup his face and kiss his nose. “I know, baby. I miss him too.”

  As angry as I am . . . I still miss him. Sure, throughout the years we had ups and downs like any other couple, but I loved him. Todd understood me. He wasn’t the burn-the-sheets type of love, but he was a reliable love. There wasn’t a moment I felt like he would abandon me. Until he did.

  “I don’t want a new dad.” Cayden stands to the side with a scowl. “You can’t do this.”

  “Cayden.” I walk over to him. “No one said you’re getting a new dad. This is a friend. And I don’t need your permission.”

  This isn’t easy on them. They’ve endured a boatload of changes, none of which they asked for. At the same time, I feel like we’re all in purgatory. None of us are living. And if I don’t start moving forward, they’ll never follow. Instead of Wyatt carrying me out of my room, I’m going to walk out on my own.

  Cayden shakes his head with a pout on his face. “I hate it here!”

  “I know you do. But being around Uncle Cooper is pretty fun. He said you boys have been a big help on the ranch.” I bend so I’m eye level with them. “I know how hard it is to live somewhere you don’t want to be. I’ve been where you boys are. It’s a big change from home. But I promise, Bell Buckle is a great place to live.” For the first time since being here, I feel like maybe this isn’t the worst thing that could’ve happened to us. My parents, my brother, Wyatt, and this ranch could save us all.

  “We haven’t even left the house! There’s nothing to do here! I hate it!” Cayden is by far the angrier of the two. He wears it on his face. Daddy said to let him have his anger. A boy needs it sometimes. I don’t know what to think. “I want to go back. I can live with Aunt Angie.”

  “That’s not happening, buddy. This is how it has to be for now.”

  A tear leaks from his eye. I want to make this better for him. I would take all of their pain and carry it, but I can’t. I have to stand strong and hope that by living, they’ll do the same. Right now, all they see is me moping around and angry at the world. I’m going to do better for them. “We need to make the best of it. Is it ideal?” I
pause. “No. But we have live here for the foreseeable future. So we have two choices: we make the most of it or we suffer the entire time. You choose.”

  “Whatever.” Cayden crosses his arms while shaking his head.

  “I love you both very much, and believe me, I want to be back home too.”

  “We miss our friends,” Logan says. “Cayden is boring.”

  “I promise you’ll make new friends as soon as school starts.” Logan looks away with a dejected look on his face. “Will you try a little bit harder?” His back straightens a little, and he nods. “What about you, Cay?” Logan nudges Cayden, but he doesn’t look at me. “Cayden?” He looks at the wall, refusing to meet my eyes. “Okay, you can be mad. I won’t push you right now, but you are not allowed to be disrespectful to me. I’ll let this go now, but we’re going to have this talk.”

  Cayden continues to silently loathe me. I kiss the tops of both their heads and try to keep myself from crying. All of this was so unnecessary. That’s all I can think. The catalyst to our new life could’ve been handled so differently.

  I put my dark brown hair in a side braid, put my boots on, and head downstairs. Wyatt sits at the table with my parents. “Damn, I was hoping I was going to have to drag you out.”

  I roll my eyes. “I’m so sorry to disappoint you.”

  “There’s always next time.”

  “Ass.”

  “Presley!” my mother gasps. “I raised you better than that.”

  If she knew the language that we all used as kids, she’d fall over. “Sorry.”

  “You should be.” Wyatt smirks at me. “I’m so disappointed that the city has ruined my sweet friend.”

  Now I want to choke him. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”

  He laughs and throws his arm over my shoulder. “You can’t say no to me. I know all your games.”

  After we have driven a few miles, I realize I have no idea where we’re going. Wyatt doesn’t inform me either, which is typical. I’ve never been good with this, and he damn well knows it. I swear these boys love to torture me—always have. Zach and Trent would thrive on scaring the shit out of me. Wyatt never did that. Instead, he would give me the silent treatment when I wanted to know something, which was equally frustrating.

  He turns into the local bar and every part of me locks. “No way!” I yell and try to figure a way out of this. “No. I’m not going in there. You knew. You knew this is the last place in this damn town I would want to be.”

  “Rip the Band-Aid off.”

  “I’m gonna rip something off!” I glare at him.

  He shrugs. “Would you rather it be now so they can all stop their bullshit speculating or wait for it to get worse?”

  Like I give a shit what they all think. I ball my hands and ignore him.

  “We can sit out here and let people talk too. I’m all for steaming up the windows. I have a rep to protect.” Wyatt leans back in the seat and puts his hat over his face.

  If I weren’t me and he weren’t him, I wouldn’t mind that either. To let myself get lost in the arms of another for just a moment. To feel not so completely alone. Wyatt always has been hot, and when he flashes that smile, girls fawn over him. But Zach was always where my heart was. We had it all, or so I thought. Zach would walk in a room and every part of me would awaken. He was everything, and I was everything to him. Our souls touched when we were around each other. I couldn’t see anything but him, which put a damper on any chance Wyatt ever had.

  “Fine,” I finally say as the windows start to fog. “Let’s go.”

  He grabs my hand. “I’m with you the whole time. But I think you’ll be fine.”

  “Who’s going to be here?”

  “Just invited some friends.” He winks and opens the door.

  The entire damn town is here. When I walk in, there are hoots and hollers all around the bar. I smile and duck my head at the unwanted attention. Nothing like being famous in this place. I glare at Wyatt. He’s dead meat.

  People approach me with arms open as we all reunite. I can’t stop smiling at the first to reach me. “If it isn’t the town troublemaker!” Trent Hennington jerks me into his arms and spins me around.

  “I’m still in shock they let you have a gun,” I say, laughing.

  He puts me down and cups my face. “You should be scared.”

  “Oh, I am.”

  We both grin. Trent is two years older than Zach. He was always that annoying older brother who thrived on making my life hell. He would sneak in on me and Zach and mess with us. It was his mission to embarrass me, and he often succeeded.

  “I won’t monopolize you, darlin’. You better stop by this week so you can test out my cuffs.”

  I snort. “You’re still a moron.”

  “One you love.”

  “You damn Henningtons need to learn humility,” I say. Trent and Wyatt are so full of themselves. It’s a wonder anyone talks to them. “Married?”

  “Hell no, woman. Chicks dig a badge.”

  I start to reply but my best friend from high school squeals and looks like she’s going to cry. Trent steps back at the sound. “You didn’t call!” Grace says as she rushes forward. “I didn’t know you were back until Cooper said something.” She pulls me close, squeezing as she continues on. “I’ve missed you so much. It was like you disappeared.”

  I lean back and smile. “I did. I needed to. I’m sorry though, I should’ve kept in touch.”

  “Honey, if I could’ve done it . . . I would’ve. But you know how it goes for most of us.” I do know. There’s safety in staying, and sometimes people can’t cut the cord that’s holding them. “Tell me why in the hell you came back.”

  Before I can respond my eyes look toward the bar. Everything stops. My heart. My breathing. My entire world stands still. Zachary Hennington stands there staring at me. He doesn’t move and neither do I. A tsunami of memories floods the room. Our first kiss, the first time we made love, the promises, the proposal, the love that filled our lives, and the pain when he left me. Not a muscle on him moves as he looks at me. I can see the questions pass between us.

  Is that really you?

  How are you?

  Why are you here?

  Why didn’t you call?

  Why did you leave me?

  Why didn’t you come with me?

  Where have you been?

  Do you feel this?

  What does it mean?

  Grace shakes my arm, and I want to scream. She must see the panic in my eyes and realizes what’s holding my attention. “Did you know?” she asks.

  “Know?”

  “That he lives here?”

  My head is light as I try to comprehend her words. “What do you mean?”

  She turns me so I can’t see him and loops her arm around mine. “He’s been back here for a while now. Probably about eight years or so. He took over his family’s business.”

  “I don’t—” I look over and this time he’s not alone. A woman with long black hair hangs on his arm. She runs a finger down his cheek and then looks right at me. I nearly choke when I realize who she is—Felicia Hayes. She gives a self-satisfied smile before returning her attention to Zach.

  Grace lets a puff out her nose. “She sunk her talons in quickly.”

  “They’re together?” I ask, already knowing the answer. Of all of the people in the world, it had to be her. Although I don’t have a right to care. She’s the devil, and in some small recess of my heart—he’s still mine.

  “About five years now. They’re not married though, which of course keeps us all talkin’. After that long why wouldn’t you? My guess is there’s someone else he’s still pining for.”

  I look back over, and he’s not there. My heart beats erratically as I look for him. Instead, I see Felicia heading our way.

  “Shit. The witch is coming,” Grace says as Felicia approaches.

  I turn and look at the girl I never wanted to lay eyes on again. She’s aged but is stil
l pretty. We both appraise each other in an instant. Her hair is almost jet black and hangs down right past her shoulders, bangs frame her emerald eyes, and she’s definitely had implants.

  “Hello, Presley.” Her sweet Southern voice does nothing to cover the bitch in her.

  “Hello, Felicia.” The smile on her face is fake, but then again, so is mine.

  She looks over at Grace with a scowl. “Grace.”

  “Bitch,” Grace replies without hesitation.

  This is another reason I vowed never to return. Felicia Hayes is the devil. I swear the girl has horns. Her life’s mission is to make people miserable. If anyone is happy, they are a target. I can’t imagine living with a black heart.

  She steps forward with a smug grin. “I heard you were back in town, and I couldn’t believe it. Bell Buckle hasn’t been the same without you here.”

  “It was tough staying away so long. I mean, living in the city with so much to do.” I shrug. She always talked about wanting to leave too. She planned to marry her way out of here, preferably with my then fiancé. I never understood her need for rivalry when it came to Zach.

  “I bet you were just lovin’ your perfect life. Which brings me back to wondering why you’re here now. Things not work out for you?”

  It takes every ounce of control I have not to slap her. She’s always been so high and mighty. She spent our entire childhoods trying to bring someone down. I never understood why she was so hateful. It seems that time has only intensified that trait. “I guess you could say not.”

  Her shoulder lifts as she turns her head to the side in a shrug. “So sad.”

  I could tell her that my husband died. But she wouldn’t care. Her fake sympathy is the last thing I want or need. I won’t give her ammunition to use against me later.

  “Well, Grace and I have some catching up to do,” I say dismissively.

  “Oh.” She looks over at the bar where Zach is standing. “I’m sure you do. Zach and I were saying a few weeks ago how much we’ve missed you.”

  “Bless your heart.” I clutch my chest. “I’m so honored you all were thinkin’ of me,” I reply with heavy sarcasm.

  “I bet you were.” Felicia turns and walks away.