Say You'll Stay

by Michaels, Corinne

  “What does that mean?” I ask, knowing full well what he’s talking about.

  I love competition. Maybe it is the racer deep inside, but even when the boys were little, I loved watching them get into whatever it was and trying hard. We would have contests for everything. I would typically win, but if Todd beat me, it was a full-on party in the house.

  Cayden throws his hands up. “It means now you’re in Mom-is-the-best mode. You’re going to be all crazy and do your dance when you win.”

  “I think you should imitate her again.” This from Logan, who’s trying his hardest not to laugh.

  I look at Cayden and give him the stink eye. “Don’t even think about it.”

  He looks at Zach and grins. Cayden hops down with purpose and waves his hands around and shakes his butt. I laugh, he laughs, and Zach bursts out a long puff of air while gripping his stomach.

  “So funny, boys.”

  “Zach.” Cayden keeps going. “Then she does this.” He totally makes up dance moves I’ve never seen.

  Zach claps him on the back. “You should’ve seen when she was younger and she would win a race.”

  They all start pretending to be me, each impression less flattering than the last. I stand there with my arms crossed as if this bothers me. But it doesn’t. Not in the least. Right now my kids are bonding with him. They’ve already been spending a lot of time together when he finishes at his ranch. He’s been showing them how to be “ranchers.”

  But this is something else. Zach is showing them how to be friends. He’s building something with Logan and Cayden without even knowing it. I watch with so much warmth in my soul that I could burst. There’s nothing fake about this. He’s not doing it because he has to or to win my heart. He’s doing it because he cares about them.

  It’s clear now that, no matter how much I resisted my feelings, I never had a chance. My love for Zach never died.

  “W HAT DO YOU SAY, DARLIN’? You up for an ass whoopin’?” Zach asks as the boys grin.

  First, he called me “darlin’.” Second he cursed in front of the kids. However, they’re boys, and they’ve said and heard worse, so I let it go. Neither of them seem fazed by the term of endearment, but this is the South and everyone is someone’s “darlin’”.

  I look Zach up and down, tapping my chin with my finger. “Well,” I say dismissively. “I’m not sure you’re a worthy opponent.”

  Cayden laughs. “I think he could take you, Mom.”

  “You do, huh?” I ask. “Did you know I happen to be Bell Buckle’s most prized barrel racer?”

  Logan snorts. “The whole ten people who live here? Half of which are our family.”

  “Watch it, twerp,” I say, half joking. I think it’s great they’re enjoying this, but let’s not go too far. “My title is no joke here.”

  “Were you homecoming queen too, Mom?” Cayden nudges Logan as they sit watching me. They know how to push my buttons. Todd used to make fun of my social status all the time. Like being pretty is a sin.

  Zach walks over, throwing his arms around the boys. “She sure was. I’m surprised she doesn’t sleep with her tiara.”

  “You wanna play too?” I ask with a shrug. “I seem to recall someone here with his own crown.”

  “I was a stud,” Zach says with no pause. “Women loved me. Of course I was the king.”

  I clutch my hand over my heart with extra flare. “Oh, King Zach, however will your royal subjects compare to you?”

  Logan bursts out laughing. “You guys are stupid.”

  “You’re going to find yourself grounded,” I say, smirking.

  “You’re going to lose to Zach. I bet five dollars.” Logan throws his arm around Zach’s shoulder.

  “Yup,” Zach agrees. “Me and Logan know the deal.”

  “Cay?” I ask as he deliberates. “You both can’t abandon me for him!”

  No way both of my boys are going to the dark side. Where’s the loyalty? I won’t lie to myself, though, the fact that they’re bonding with him makes me smile. Zach was always good with kids, and he and Cayden have really grown close after the night in the woods. Yet, there seems to be something holding him and Logan back from connecting on that level.

  Cayden grumbles before relenting. “I guess I’ll pick you.”

  I giggle. “Turd.”

  “Okay.” Zach claps his hands. “Here are the rules. We ride from here to the old barn and back. First one who makes it back here—wins. You remember the way, don’t you, Presley Mae?”

  I tilt my head and pop my hip. “I remember just fine, Zachary Wilber.”

  “Wilber!” Logan yells. “Your middle name is Wilber?” He laughs uncontrollably.

  Zach steps closer, and I know I’m in trouble. “Now, Zach,” I say, retreating. “You used my middle name. It’s only fair.”

  “Wilber is a family name.”

  “Yes,” I agree with my hands raised, “and a fine one at that.” I look over at the twins who are giggling conspiratorially. “One I would try to denounce, but that’s neither here nor there,” I say as he gets closer.

  “I think you need a good ass kicking.”

  “You wouldn’t.”

  He glances at the boys and smiles. “You’re right. I wouldn’t.”

  He stops moving, and my heart settles. Maybe I’m not in trouble.

  Before I can say another word, he rushes toward me, catching me completely off guard, grabs my legs, and throws me over his shoulders. “Zach!”

  The earth spins beneath me as he twirls me around. I’m going to kill him. “Say you’re sorry.”

  “Never!” I yell as I grow dizzy.

  “Say it!”

  “Put me down, you giant jerk!”

  He slaps my ass. “Say you’re sorry and that you wish you were named Wilber.”

  Logan and Cayden’s laughter fills my ears as Zach continues to spin. “Fine!” I yell as my vision blurs. “Sorry that your parents named you Wilber!”

  “I don’t think so.”

  I laugh and hold on to his waist as he goes faster. My light brown hair floats around me, but all I hear are the boys cheering him on. I don’t care if we look ridiculous. For the first time in a very long time, we’re all happy. The boys are laughing, happy, playful, and I’m feeling the same way.

  “Say it, Mom!”

  I slap Zach’s legs, and he stops. “I’m sorry and I wish I could be as cool as you and have my name be Wilber.”

  “Good girl,” Zach says as he puts me back on solid ground. He doesn’t let go as everything around me spins uncontrollably. My feet stumble, but Zachary’s arms are around me in an instant. I hold on to his broad shoulders and fight back the urge to kiss him.

  I bite my lip to stop myself, but I see the desire pooled in his eyes. There’s no denying the attraction between us. It’s been weeks of spending the nights together, chasing away the demons.

  “I’m going to fall.”

  “I won’t let you.”

  I look into his blue eyes, searching for anything to tell me different, but I don’t find it. “I—” I start to say, but Zach saves me.

  “Now.” His voice echoes. “You ready for me to show you who the ruler really is?”

  Logan hoots. “Team Zach!”

  “Team Mom,” Cayden’s unenthusiastic voice calls out.

  “Cay!” I say with my hands on my hips. This kid. I gave birth to him, the least he can do is pretend to be on my team.

  He shrugs. “Sorry, Mom. I want Zach to beat you.”

  “Kids,” I say and then head over to grab the horse.

  Shortstop is saddled up next to Zach’s horse. I go around, checking my saddle and all, making sure no one is trying to sabotage me. I put nothing past these boys.

  Zach brushes his front against my back as I’m bent over checking the horse’s hoofs. “Sorry,” he jests with a grin.

  “Keep it up, Cowboy.”

  He does it again and the deep timbre of his voice vibrates. “You know how
much I like it when you call me that.”

  I take a few steps back and peek over at the boys who are immersed in some argument. It also helps having a very large animal blocking their view. I saunter up to him, run my finger down his chest, and enjoy the way he shudders. “I do know this. Maybe tonight I’ll call you it without anyone around.”

  Zach’s head falls back, and his hands grip my arms. “You’re going to make me crazy.”

  “Not as much as watching you right now is making me.”

  I’m so enjoying this. His eyes travel down and rest on my chest. I flex a little, puffing my breasts out. My tight, white tank top leaves little to his imagination, plus his mouth was on them less than twelve hours ago. We’ve been tempting that line for the last week, and I notice he’s growing more desperate. But right now, this isn’t so much sexual as part of my plan.

  “Fucking killing me, Pres.”

  And it’s working.

  “Awww,” I croon. “Is it going to be kind of . . . hard . . . to ride?”

  His eyes flash to mine. Recognition flashes as he figures out my game. “You play dirty.”

  I smirk. “I play to win.” Zach adjusts himself while grumbling under his breath. “Time to race, boys!”

  I hop on Shortstop and Zach drops his chin and his lip twitches. “You’re dead.”

  “You’re not on your horse yet, Zach.” I cock my head to the side. “What’s wrong?”

  “Some things never change,” Zach mutters as he goes around walking funny.

  I head over to the starting point as Zach struggles slightly to get on his horse. Well, no reason that the race can’t start now. “Call it, Cayden!”

  “Ready.”

  “No!” Zach yells.

  “Set.”

  “Presley! Don’t cheat!” he calls out as he finally gets on the horse.

  “I’m not the one starting it.” I smile innocently.

  “Go!” Cayden says, and I’m off.

  One misstep and Zach will easily catch me. I ride as fast as Shortstop will go toward the tree. Wyatt, Cooper, Zach, and I used to race all the time. Wyatt always beat us. I swear he cheated somehow. There was only one race when I actually came close. But Zach and I were pretty neck and neck. There’s a way to turn and get the most traction, but I can’t remember if it’s left or right.

  “Come on, Shortstop.” I spur him on. We fly through the trail without focusing on anything but us. I need to use the time I got. Plus, I want to win.

  The tree comes into my view and I hear Zach’s voice behind me.

  “Better watch, darlin’. I’m coming.”

  “Shit.”

  I lean forward and slap Shortstop’s back, hoping he’ll fly faster.

  I take the turn and Zach is right on my heels. “I’m gonna get ya,” he taunts.

  The end is in sight. I want to win, but he’ll never let me.

  We come to the trail that widens so we’re side by side. We both surge forward and the boys yell and jump up and down.

  No matter who wins the actual race. I think I’ve won much more.

  According to Logan, Zach won. Cayden, of course, doesn’t dispute, just so I lose for once. Little shits.

  Zach does his own victory dance and the boys join in. I laugh, watching the three of them behave like dorks. After they’re done with the taunting and celebrating, we all go on a ride. The boys handle the horses with ease. He’s done such a great job with them. They sit tall and maintain control the entire time.

  “Can you guys race again?” Logan asks as we put the horses in their stalls.

  “I think Zach has to work,” I explain.

  “He’s a lot of fun, Mom.”

  I smile. “Yeah, he is. I’ve known him a long time.”

  He leans back against the wall. “Wyatt told me. He said you and Zach were boyfriend and girlfriend for a long time.”

  Oh, Jesus. Well, I guess it was going to come out sooner or later. “Yeah.” I smile. “We were for a long time. Then I met your dad.”

  Logan nods as if he understands. I sit and wait for his next question because I see the wheels turning. His mind goes non stop and I can never be too prepared. Cayden and Zach are still in the corral, and I want to give him the answers he’s searching for. Logan is a tender heart. He’s missing his dad, and I’ve probably done a shitty job of helping him through that.

  “Do you think Dad would like Zach?” Logan asks without meeting my eyes.

  Hell no, he wouldn’t. “I think if your dad knew Zach now, he would.”

  That’s about as close to the truth as I can get. Todd hated Zach. But Todd had a very skewed version of who he was. All Todd saw was a man who left me in the worst way. I was broken, and Todd cared for me.

  “Cool.” Logan returns to quiet reflection.

  “Do you like him?” I ask.

  “I think he’s really cool. I think he likes you, Mom.”

  I’m thrown off by that statement. I’m shocked that one of them picked up on it. “You do?”

  He shrugs.

  I don’t want to ask this, but I don’t know I’ll ever get another chance. “I think Zach likes you and Cay a lot.”

  “Do you like him?” he questions me with tears in his eyes.

  “I will always love your dad. He gave me you and Cayden. No one else will ever take that away, okay?”

  My heart aches as I look in his eyes. I see the pain that he hides well. My babies have been so deeply affected by Todd’s absence. They don’t deserve to hurt anymore.

  “I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you more,” I say as I fold my arms around him.

  Logan’s shoulders shake a little as he tilts his head to look at me. “I like Zach, and if you like him, then that’s okay.”

  “You’re a good kid, you know that?”

  My son’s eyes close as he squeezes me tighter.

  Cayden and Zach walk into the barn, and Logan extracts himself.

  “I think there’s something in the kitchen,” Cayden says conspiratorially.

  “We’ll see you guys later!” Logan calls out as they rush off.

  I finish cleaning up the barn a little. Floating around feeling slightly withdrawn. I wonder if it’s too fast that I’m even thinking about really moving forward with Zach. What would Todd think? Would he understand? Do I care what he would think? I don’t know. I think he would want me to be happy. I know I would want that for him, but I also remember how he felt toward the mere mention of Zach.

  How he would go to any length to avoid hearing his name.

  I can’t imagine that he would be happy about Zach being around his children.

  Then again, had he chosen not to commit suicide, he would never have needed to worry about that.

  “Hey.” Zach’s hand rests on my shoulder. “What’s going on in there?”

  “Do you think we’re moving too fast?” I blurt out.

  He stops moving and takes my hand. “What makes you think that?”

  “Logan notices something between us, and I keep thinking that maybe this is too soon.”

  “Do you feel like it is?”

  “Isn’t that what I said?”

  Zach’s thumb grazes the back of my hand. “No, you said you keep thinking. What do you feel ?”

  I stand there, trying to get a grip on what I am feeling. I’m happy, able to breathe, and I want to be with him each night. The best part of my days are my nights with Zach. I long for him the minute we walk away from each other. And until Logan even said anything, I didn’t think we were moving fast at all.

  “Confused,” I finally say.

  “We’re not a normal couple, Pres. We’ve known each other forever, and honestly, this is slow. I’ve been in love with you my whole life. I know you better than you know yourself. Don’t you get it, baby? We’re made for each other.” Zach releases my hand and cups my face. “I know every part of you, love every part of you, and there’s no rush on my part, but I don’t think we’re doing anything too fa
st. I think we’re just finding our way back to where we always were meant to be.”

  I close my eyes, press my lips to his, and let his words sink in.

  It feels the same way to me. I wish that we didn’t have to go through the hell we’ve endured to find our place, though, and I pray both boys will find a way to accept this.

  Zachary

  I WANT TO MAKE TONIGHT perfect. She needs to get out of her own head and allow us to be us. But Presley is an over thinker. Always has been.

  “You sure about this?” Wyatt asks as he helps load my truck.

  “No, but I’m tired of sleeping on a rock.”

  He laughs. “I doubt that’s what your reason is, but I’ll buy it for now. She’s going to see through your bullshit though. She always does.”

  I’ve got tonight planned down to every detail. Presley will meet me like she always does, only this time it won’t follow the way it has for the last three weeks. She refuses to let me take her out, so I’ll force a date.

  “Just load the truck.” I remind him of his job. “I didn’t ask for all your commentary.”

  Wyatt came over to grab a few things from our parents. Somehow, that turned into an hour of him, once again, saying how I’m fucking up things on the ranch. Bastard didn’t want to help when my parents needed him, but now he’s full of opinions. When I brought Felicia on to help me run things, he quit that day and went to work for the Townsends. Instead of him growing up and being an adult, he left me high and dry.

  Dad had a stroke and could no longer work, so I did what was needed. My parents busted their asses for me, it was the least I could do. Thanks to my dad, I was able to attend any baseball camp I wanted, travel, take extra lessons. All because it was my dream.

  “There’s extra blankets because she gets cold.” Wyatt tosses another bag in the back.

  “I know.”

  “I don’t know what you know, Zach. I hope you’re ready for whatever it is you’re doing. Presley may think she’s ready, but you’ve got blinders on.”

  Here we fucking go again.

  “You’re not her brother. You’re mine. Start acting like it.” I shove his hat in his chest. “I love her. I would never hurt her. And no matter what you think, this isn’t some fucking fling. This is me takin’ care of her.”