by Izzy Shows
But that didn't please him. He wanted to watch me kill the others. I was fairly certain, based on his demands for me to kill a large percentage of the available combatants, that he had placed bets on who would kill whom and all of that, but I didn't care about losing him money right now.
He could be content with my being the first female to ever win the tournament, because while I was waiting up here on this beam, watching the others kill each other whenever they passed through the room beneath me, I had found the fire within me. I had a renewed vigor for living, and I didn't want to let go of the world again.
I wanted to live, which is a euphoric feeling in and of itself. There are no words to describe what it's like to not care whether you live or die, and there are no words to describe how it feels to realize that you once again want to live.
Watching the deaths of the others, I had discovered that I did want to live.
"You're an absolute waste of my credit! I'll send a beast in there to kill you myself if you don't get moving!"
He's never going to shut up.
I groaned, but at last I decided that the only way to get him to be quiet was to leave the beam and at least pretend to be looking for the other combatants. I could find another location to hide in for a time, and I would deal with his ranting when it started again. At least I would have a short reprieve from it, and eventually he would have to sleep, which would grant me some silence again.
Careful not to make a noise, I climbed down from the beam and landed in a crouch on the floor. I glanced furtively around the room, holding still until I was sure that no one had heard me dismount and was coming to kill me. After a few clicks, I felt certain of it, and I made my way out of the room.
The building was dark and quiet. I couldn't hear the sounds of death no matter how hard I strained my ears, and I feared what that might mean. Either the other combatants had killed one another to the point that there were only a few remaining, or they had banded together to hunt me down.
Don't be ridiculous. Why would they single you out like that?
It was true that it didn't make sense for them to single me out, but then again, I didn't know how they had formed their allegiances in the first place, and the females I'd fought in the battle royal had certainly displayed that they had formed allegiances. Not to mention that I'd seen them speaking to one another at the gala, and none of them had been willing to speak to me.
It certainly felt like they might all want me dead first and foremost, but I tried to tell myself that that was my paranoia talking. The only reason they might have for singling me out would be if my master had bragged about my magic to the other masters, and the other masters had warned their slaves…
Oh.
That actually wasn't difficult to believe. My master was not the most intelligent man, I'd come to understand, and he didn't grasp the concept of subtlety at all. He would probably have bragged to anyone who would listen, and the other masters wouldn't want me to win, not if he had money riding on this.
He's doomed me. His big mouth is going to cost me my life.
Anger rushed through me, causing my skin to flare a brilliant blue, but I pushed down the emotion. Now, more than ever, I needed to maintain the calm that my people valued so much. If I didn't stay calm, I wouldn't be able to make it through the tournament.
Losing my head in the heat of the moment was the best way to get myself killed.
I rounded a corner and found myself face to face with a large male. He was taller than I, which was shocking, and thickly built. His corded muscles bulged against his skin, and his eyes were as black as night.
Sweet Vivoth, no.
I backed away hurriedly, but there was no time to put the distance between us that I needed to survive. He thrust a meaty hand out and gripped me by the throat, squeezing so tight that I thought he might crush my windpipe.
Desperate, I clawed at his hands, digging my claws into his skin and tearing at it. I felt the wetness of his blood as it leaked from his hands onto my own, but he didn't loosen his grip even a little. His eyes narrowed as he glared at me.
"Pretty lady," he growled. "Pretty lady gonna die."
I opened my mouth, frantically trying to draw in air, but I couldn't get so much as a sip, and my vision was going black.
And then stars burst in front of my eyes as his other fist connected with my head. Again and again he hit me, until I couldn't see anything at all. I could feel my blood on the skin of my face, but that was a sensation I was only dimly aware of.
He's going to beat my head in. There's nothing I can do. Either he's going to crush my windpipe or he's going to cave my skull in, and I'm helpless.
I drowned in that feeling as he switched his target from my head to my body, slammed his fist into the side of my torso and then went back to my skull and then down again to my body, creating a sickening rhythm that was certain to kill me.
Going to die. I'm going to die like this. He's going to kill me.
I felt helpless, a feeling I didn't like at all, but I didn't know what to do. I couldn't see anymore, and I could feel my hold on reality fading…
And then the rage came. The disgust with myself that I would allow this to happen, the outrage that this male would lay his hands on me in such a fashion, and the absolute refusal to die.
I somehow found the strength to bring my knee up hard to his groin. I put the full force of the strength given to me by Vivoth into the action, sending him flying into the opposite wall. My vision returned somewhat. It was still black around the edges as I gasped in breath after breath, and a red tinge had washed over the rest of my sight.
Each breath I took seemed to charge the anger within me, and I stalked toward the crumpled male, who was staring up at me in a daze.
"Wha—?" he muttered, shaking his head as if to clear his mind.
"Wrong move," I said, smiling down at him as I reached him. "You made the wrong move, touching me."
I pulled back and slammed my fist into his head, bringing my knee up to connect with the other side of his skull, sending it back the other way.
Yes, yes, beat him, hurt him, kill him!
The rage inside me demanded satisfaction, and for a moment, I gave in. I descended on him in a flurry of movement, punching and kicking him until I felt the anger begin to subside, and only then did I draw the sword at my hip and skewer him through the heart.
I stood over his corpse, panting, as I came down from the high of battle and felt remorse begin to course through me.
Oh, gods, how could I have lost control like that?
I couldn't believe I had let the rage take over, that I had killed him without a thought.
He wasn't innocent. He is one of the males who came here for the joy of beating and hurting females. His death was deserved, the voice in my head reassured me, and I tried to assuage my guilt further with the notion that it had been self-defense. I had to kill him; he'd been aiming to kill me, and he would have if I had let him. His death had been necessary. The bloodshed was not unearned.
"Good job!" my master's voice crowed in my ear. "That was absolutely fantastic how you attacked him! I've never seen anything like that. Do it again!"
I winced at the directive, hating it more than words could say.
"I need to heal myself," I whispered, so that the vid cams hooked into the walls and ceiling couldn't overhear me. "Can you direct me somewhere where the cameras can't see me?"
"Why would you need to go somewhere like that?" He sounded offended.
"Well, hopefully you didn't tell everyone I have magic. We don't want everyone to know that, which is why I don't want anyone to see me using it. It's better if it's a surprise for the end," I said, though I had no intention of using my magic at any point during the tournament.
"Right, right, of course," he said, but I could hear a nervous note in his voice. He'd already told everyone, I was sure, but if I could get him to direct me somewhere where the cameras couldn't see me, I'd be much happier.
He directed me through the building, warning me when I was coming up to an area that had other combatants, which was a surprise to me, until I made it to a small alcove in a corner of the building where it seemed like there was no one else around.
"Hurry up and get yourself healed. I want to see more action like that," he said.
"Of course," I muttered, lying through my teeth.
I sat down in the alcove with my back pressed against the wall and sent my magic coursing through me. I let the energy hunt out every imperfection in my system, every open wound and internal damage, and set it to the task of healing. I could feel my body knitting back together, and I leaned back with a soft sigh to let it happen.
Healing is tiring work, especially if you haven't done it for a while, which I hadn't. It had been a long time since I had been able to use my gift for good like this. I'd been so busy defeating Zvarr that I hadn't had the opportunity.
If only the humans had listened to me in the first place, I might have been able to show them my magic more fully, to treat their ailments, to teach them the wonders of the universe they've clearly forgotten since I was locked away.
But it was a futile thought, and it almost felt like I was thinking of another age entirely. Had it only been a few weeks ago that I had been on Eyrus, frantically trying to protect the humans? It felt like a million years had passed since then, like I was a different person entirely, and I didn't know how to feel about that.
I curled up into something of a ball in the little alcove as my body repaired itself, and sent a silent prayer up to Vivoth to save me from this nightmare.
That isn't the way he works. You have to save yourself.
A tear slipped out of my eye and tracked down my cheek at the thought, but there was nothing to be done.
I would have to find my way out of this somehow. I could only hope I didn't lose myself in the process.
Xiva
I didn't keep track of how many rotations passed while I lay in the corner healing myself and allowing myself to wallow in misery, but it certainly felt like an entire day. In reality, I was sure it was no more than a few rotations, but my mind seemed to be in the mood to exaggerate.
This is what talking to yourself gets you, Xiva. You're losing your mind.
That worried me, but I didn't know what to do about it. All I could do was try to get out of this situation with as much of myself intact as possible, which was looking like less and less with every passing click. I didn't know who I was anymore, though I kept trying to tell myself I was the same as I'd always been.
But that isn't true. You can't be the same as you've always been, not after what you've gone through. Who could stand to kill as many as you have, at the commands of brutal males, and still be the person they were before?
That was the truth, even if I didn't like it. There was no way I was coming out of this the same as I'd been before, but I didn't want to think about that now.
A growling sound from my midsection reminded me that I had other concerns as well. I was starving. It had been more than a day since I'd come into the building, I was certain, and I hadn't eaten a thing since I'd first entered.
There was a good chance that, even if I could find anything that was edible, it would probably be poisoned. Considering all the traps they had set up throughout the building, I wouldn't be surprised if they put out poisoned food as well, but I was going to have to take my chances.
If I didn't eat soon, my strength would fade, and I wouldn't survive the tournament.
With that decision made, I left the safety of my secluded alcove and made my way through the building again. I didn't know where I was going, but I made sure to keep my senses on high alert. I could see in darkness, could hear from great distances, and I had a very adept sense of smell. I hadn't relied on them properly before, but I was now.
I kept myself aware of the sound of boots on the floor, of the scent of unwashed bodies moving through the building, and I watched for even the smallest distortion of the darkness around me, all to make sure I didn't run into another combatant. My master had been mercifully quiet since I'd killed the male, apparently having decided to reward me for it, and now all I cared about was avoiding another battle if I could help it.
A shudder ran down my spine as I remembered the ferocity that had come over me when the male attacked me, my absolute outrage at having his hands on my body. I hadn't felt like that since I was unearthed by the humans on Eyrus, although I thanked the gods that I hadn't gone as far this time as I had then.
When the humans unearthed me on Eyrus, I had ascended into a god-like state, due to the overwhelming emotions and the threat to my life that had been apparent at the time, which allowed me to draw even more power than I previously had had access to by being Vivoth's Chosen. The destruction I was capable of in such a state…
No, I wasn't going to think about that right now. I was going to count myself lucky that I hadn't gone into that state again, after I had promised myself that I would not use my powers to harm another again. At least I had relied on the skills of my body rather than the magic inside me to kill the male who had thought to harm me.
As I walked down the corridor, moving away from the sounds and smells of the majority of the combatants, I detected another scent that I decided was coming from the offshoot corridor coming up on my left. I knew I needed to avoid it, but there was something different about this scent. Something that I couldn't quite make out.
I hesitated at the mouth of the corridor and then cursed myself, for I was now only a few feet away from the individual I had smelled.
He was not a tall male, coming only up to my shoulders, with thick brown hair and bright yellow skin with brown stripes curving along his biceps. His eyes, fully black, went wide when he saw me, and he froze.
I did as well, caution surging through me, and I immediately started to calculate how to get away from him, but something held me in place. Though I had done my best to clamp down on the barriers to my mind, to keep the thoughts and feelings of the other combatants at bay—for they were all either bloodthirsty or in abject misery—I couldn't help but feel the pain inside this male. Tentatively, I lowered the barrier somewhat, and I felt an immediate rush of sadness coming from him, and the sense that he meant me no harm.
"Why are you here if you do not intend to harm another?" I asked without realizing that I was addressing his thoughts and not any words he might have spoken.
He looked surprised but didn't comment on the intrusive nature of what I'd said.
"I was forced to be here," he said. "I won't hurt you, I promise. I don't want to be here any more than you, I hope."
I gaped at him, unable to contain my shock. A male who didn't want to harm the females in the building? I had been told that all the males here had been given this as an honor, that it was something they competed for, to earn the privilege of harming the females brought before them.
And this male claimed he didn't want anything to do with that? I found it suspicious, but I couldn't deny the truth I found in his thoughts or the broken nature of his spirit. This male was damaged inside, without hope, and his pain and misery were almost more than I could bear.
I moved forward out of the main corridor, feeling uneasy about standing there where anyone might come upon me.
"What—"
"Shh," he said, gesturing towards my jawline, and then mouthed the words 'your microphone.'
Of course. Anything I said was going to get back to my master. I didn't know what kind of range the microphone had, didn't know if it could pick up his words or not.
"Xiva? What are you doing? Why aren't you killing that male?" My master was already barking in my ear, and I winced, touching a hand to my head.
The male came closer to me slowly and gestured at my other ear, mouthing something I didn't understand. I frowned at him, but he made a pleading gesture and I
relented, allowing him to come closer. He came right up next to me and put his lips near my ear.
"I can show you how to disengage the microphone for a little while," he said. "So we can talk."
I jerked my head to look at him, eyes wide, and nodded vigorously. I would kill to have the privacy of speaking without having that male overhearing me even for a minute.
He started back down his corridor, then turned and waited, gesturing for me to follow. I did, after a moment's hesitation. I had originally thought to find food, and then go back to hiding in the alcove where the cameras couldn't see me until such time as the other combatants had weeded each other out, but looking at this male, I couldn't help but feel that there was an opportunity before me that I would regret not taking.
I followed him down the corridor until we came to what seemed like a solid wall, but he pressed a hand to one side, and a door I hadn't seen slid to the side, giving us access to a small but secure room. I walked inside, marveling at the idea that he had found a safe space to hide throughout the tournament and wondering how he had discovered it.
He closed the door after we were both inside, then gestured for me to take a seat next to him on the floor.
Once we were both seated, he leaned forward so that his mouth was near my ear again.
"To disable the microphone, there's a special pattern the masters don't know is built in. Bite down six times, then flick your tongue over where the microphone is, then bite down two more times."
I made a face at him, not sure he wasn't playing a joke on me, but I didn't see the point in that. If he was going to kill me, he could have done it when I walked into the room in front of him, and there wasn't much sense to messing with my head before he killed me. So I did as he suggested.
"You can talk now," he said aloud.
"How do you know?" I whispered, though it was stupid to do so. Even the faintest sound could be picked up by the microphone, so whispering wouldn't do me much good.
He grinned. "Say something that would piss your master off."
I bit my lip, uncertain. He might be trying to get my master to kill me, but again, that seemed like a rather elaborate plan.