Amasai

by Stevie Rae Causey

  “Switchin’,” I repeated. Nice job, Luka I scolded, A regular old parrot you are.

  “Aye. Seems he’d tangled with some of the fairy lasses from time to time, though he knew better. Gnome blood doesn’t mix well with Fae who bare singletons.”

  He studied my face, noted my confusion, and continued. “Gnomes are born in pairs, you see. Better that way. We may look small, but we are powerful, and big eaters!” He nodded to the wooden bowls which had long been empty. “Twins split the magic, and the appetite. Make it more manageable for everyone. But a singleton—and a mixed one at that—well there was little chance of your own survival. And fairies are but fickle things, no mother has it in her to starve her own child. You had to be switched.”

  My head swam. So it really was true. Pa hadn’t gone mad. But that meant that Ma—

  “Yes, she did leave because of you. In search of you, in a way. She came to find the real Luka.”

  I felt my eyes go wide and my heart leapt up into my throat. I gripped my blade instinctively, as if it could protect me from the truth.

  “I see you integrated well,” his voice was almost empathetic. “I forget how attached some humans become to their offspring. It seems the feelings go both ways, do they not?”

  No use denying it. I nodded.

  “Then it must pain you to realize her fate.”

  My mind hadn’t even made it that far. I was still gutted over the reason she’d left. “She knew, then?”

  “A mother knows her own son, or so I’m told.”

  “Did she ever find him? The boy I was switched for?”

  He shook his head, “The babe was not long for this world when the switch was made. Not even magic can change that.”

  I half-expected to be relieved knowing that Pa had been right. That there was none alive who could take my place; but instead I just felt sick.

  “She came lookin’ for him,” I whispered to myself. I thought of the way she looked at me as she tended my bruises after a fight. The way she brushed my hair back from my face to kiss my forehead when she’d tucked me in. My hand found its way to my forehead, as if trying to capture the memory.

  I hadn’t been enough. It was the ultimate betrayal.

  “It pains you,” the gnome observed. “The intricacies of humanity astound me.”

  “But I’m not human,” I said, wiping my face with my sleeve.

  “You’ve walked among them long enough to take on some of their features, it seems. Perhaps you are more human than you think.” He waved a hand in the direction of my own, which still clung tightly to my knife. “Down to using their tools against your true kin.”

  “I don’t want to hurt nobody,” I argued. “It’s for my own protection, is all.”

  “Aye, just as those bars you stand behind are for mine. I can’t have you wanderin’ the realm with such a thing.”

  It seemed we were at a stalemate.

  “I can’t very well hand it off, can I? Then what would keep your like from holdin’ me here forever.”

  “Not us you should be worryin’ about. We’re not the ones who came lookin’ for you.”

  “But my Pa said—”

  “He would have, wouldn’t he? Wouldn’t want you finding out your true powers.”

  “Powers?”

  “Iron bites and iron anchors,” he repeated the words he’d used out in the woods. “The human you call Pa may have you believe your prison is protectin’ you, rather than holdin’ you back from your true potential.”

  I stared blankly, tryin’ to make sense of what was bein’ said. Don’t let him get in your head. I willed myself.

  “Try it, if you don’t believe me. Leave the blade behind, and you’ll find your true potential in the realm. Those bars won’t hold you. You’ll walk free, and we won’t stop you. Even let you take the one you would call Ma, if that is your choosing.”

  “But won’t the fairies notice her missing?” There had to be a catch.

  “Of course they would! There is a bit of politics involved in it all. Funny creatures, fairies. Though they relinquished you to our care, they considered the trade their own. Don’t like to get their hands dirty, you see. When the human babe… let’s just say that they felt cheated out of something they felt was theirs.”

  He must have noticed the look of disgust on my face, for he paused there.

  “Suffice to say they would happily have had you re-switched, had the one you call Pa not surrounded you in a cage of iron.”

  “And now? Would they still re-switch me?”

  “No need for it now, not for you. You were only switched to keep you from wastin’ away. The moment you weaned they could have taken you back if they wanted.” He rolled his eyes, “Don’t like getting’ their hands dirty, no, but they have no problem reapin’ the reward once the job is done.”

  “And you?” I asked. What part did they play in all of this?

  He waved a hand, “We’d have welcomed you with open arms if that is why you’d come. Indeed, that was my hope when I first saw you. But we’ve no interest in takin’ folk that don’t want to be here.”

  “And yet you had no qualms in trappin’ me!”

  “I offered you a choice, if you remember. You’re the one who walked into my home armed.”

  He made a solid point, though I hated to admit it.

  “So now what?”

  “Now, I’m going to send in the girl, and I’m going to walk away. Whatever happens after that is up to you.” He turned to go, pausing just a moment to call over his shoulder. “But I warn you, whatever decision you make, be quick about it. Once they find their trade missing, they will come for you, and you may very well find yourself wanting them to.”

  “Fat chance!” I yelled after him, but if he heard me he gave no indication. Unperturbed, he walked away, disappearing into the light.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I didn’t have to wait very long before the girl returned, this time empty handed.

  “I was told to keep you company,” she said simply, sitting on the floor outside of my enclosure.

  I looked at her more closely this time. She was dressed simply in an off-white dress without frills or embellishments. Her blonde hair was only half tied-back, with bangs that just barely brushed the tops of her eyebrows, a style reserved for girls who were still young to not be entirely proper. And yet, there was something about her eyes. Something comforting and familiar, like the smell of your own bed after nights of sleepin’ somewhere else. It was there only a moment before it faded again, replaced once more with an almost vacant look.

  “Ma?” I whispered in spite of myself.

  “I’d imagine she’s here somewhere,” she said, mistakin’ my intent. “Though you’re not likely to find much comfort I’m afraid. Few Fae raise their own young in the way you’re used to. It’s a cruelty really, to expect one who was switched to reintegrate.”

  “So ya’ve a mind of yer own after all,” I breathed a sigh of relief. “Allison.”

  “What?”

  “Allison. That was yer name, before.” Best tread carefully. I thought to myself. I had no idea the extent of the fairy’s control over her, and givin’ her too much information at once could be dangerous. I figured it was best for me too, thinkin’ of her as a person aside from the one who had raised me. Mother and son weren’t our roles anymore, at least not right now, and muddyin’ that up with sentiment and wishes would only make what I was about to do more dangerous.

  “Do ya ever wonder what yer life was like before?” I asked. “Ya must have…” suddenly my heart was racing. I wiped my hands on my tunic, suddenly aware they’d gone clammy. “Ya must have a family.”

  “I must have,” she said, as if she were only just realizin’ it was true. “I mean, I suppose we all do, in one way or another. I hadn’t thought of it, really. Not in a long time, anyway.”

  “And if ya have a family, it stands to reason that they’d miss ya.” I
continued.

  “Aye, I suppose they would, if they were a good one. Some aren’t, I hear.”

  “I’m sure yers were plenty good,” I replied a little too quickly. “Err, but either way, don’t ya think they’d want to know what happened to ya?”

  “Perhaps?” she didn’t seem to follow, and I was getting’ frustrated with beatin’ around the bush.

  “Allison, have ya ever thought of leavin’ here?”

  “Certainly, I must have, in the beginning,” her voice was shaky and uncertain. “But humans cannot pass between the realms. Not of their own will, anyway.”

  “But if ya were at the will of one of the Fae, then ya could, couldn’t ya?”

  Her face lit up with understanding. “You mean, if you were to take me?”

  I’d expected her to be more excited. After all, I was offering her freedom! If I were her I’d be jumpin’ at the thought of freedom, yet she seemed uncertain. Maybe if I could jog her memory a bit she’d be more enthusiastic.

  “Don’t ya remember anything? At all?” I leaned in, both eager and afraid to hear her answer.

  She bit her lip. The silence seemed to stretch on forever, and I began to wonder if there was a time limit on the gnome’s offer to let us walk free. Finally, she spoke:

  “I…I think I remember looking for something. Or someone.” She looked at me apologetically, shrugging.

  “What if it was me?” I offered. It was true enough, in a way. Or was it just what I wished were true?

  The statement piqued her interest. “You?”

  “Yes! What if ya were sent to look for me?” I was grasping at straws trying to fill in the blanks in a way that might make sense.

  She leaned in, examining my face closely. “You do seem familiar, somehow.”

  “Great! It’s settled then! Do ya know how to get out of here?”

  “Out of the gnome’s hollow? Yes. Servants are able to travel within the twilight realm as needed, just not out of it.”

  That brought up another issue: Could I get us out of here? Even if I found the portal Brian had sent me through, could it be used both ways? And for that matter, wouldn’t it just send me back home? One problem at a time, I reminded myself, takin’ in a deep breath. I removed my long knife from my belt and set it down beside me. I felt suddenly lighter, as if I’d been carryin’ an invisible weight on my shoulders I’d not realized. I stood nervously, waitin’ to see if it was a trick and the fae folk were just waitin’ out of sight to snatch me up. Nothing happened. At least, that’s what I thought until I heard Allison gasp.

  I looked up at her face—wait, up? Yes! Either she’d grown a good two feet or I’d shrunk. Lookin’ around the room I guessed the latter. The wooden bowls that had carried my breakfast were near big enough to wear as head coverin’s, and that wasn’t all! The spacing between the bars of my enclosure seemed infinitely wider. If I turned just right, maybe I could squeeze through.

  Allison let out a quiet squeal as I tested my theory and found it successful. I was free!

  “But now you’re tiny!” she exclaimed, as if I hadn’t noticed. I felt my face flush in irritation and before I knew what was happening I met her eye to eye. The world shifted and my head spun, causin’ me to stumble. I was me-sized again!

  “Whoa.” Allison said, wide-eyed. “I’ve never seen anyone do THAT before!”

  “Do what, exactly?”

  “Change size without changin’ shape.”

  “Huh?”

  “The Fae can shapeshift some, mostly out of a need to camouflage in the day-and-night realms. Some are better at it than others; but I’ve never seen one that could shift size and stay their own shape before.”

  I decided it wasn’t the best time to tell her I’d not done it on purpose. I found myself glancing longingly over my shoulder and wonderin’ if I could reach through the bars and grab my knife after all, but it seemed to have disappeared into thin air. My stomach sank. No goin’ back now.

  “Alright then, c’mon,” I said, taking her hand. “How do we get out of here?”

  “Oh, that’s easy,” she said, walkin’ toward the far wall. “Through here!”

  “Through where?” It looked like an ordinary wall. Stark white, but solid as any other wall I’d ever seen.

  “Just think of the light,” she explained as if it were obvious, “But not too much light. Wouldn’t wanna over-shoot.

  I didn’t have time to ask any more questions. She stepped forward, and a light appeared. I barely had time to will myself through with thoughts of light as she pulled me along. But not too much light! I added, hoping that was enough.

  ***

  I don't know what I'd expected when the light faded, but whatever it was was nothing like what lay before us. Instead of open forest, we appeared to be in a large ballroom. At least, as much as I knew what that looked like, and that wasn't much. Most of what I knew was based on stories that Pa used to tell when I was little, about the great parties the King used to throw, and how would he know about that, anyway?

  Whatever the room we were in was, I knew it was important. The floor was ivory with symbols painted in a spiral in different shades of green and blue. The walls appeared to be made of wood, carved with fancy forest scenes. A fawn and its mum, guarded by a man in the distance covered the wall on one side. A sleeping dragon being watched by a great bird on the other…no. Its body was that of a bird, but it bore a woman’s likeness from the chest up. The pairing was nothing short of horrifying.

  “A Harpy,” Allison explained. “Representations of the day-and-night-realms. We are in the in-between.”

  “The in-between?” I repeated. Seemed I was about as a good as a common parrot lately.

  “The twilight realm,” she said, as if it were obvious. “The place in between day,” she motioned to the picture of the fawn with one hand. “And night.” With the other hand she pointed to the harpy.

  “Ya mean, like the boundary to the Darklands?”

  She tilted her head and squinted her eyes as if tryin’ to solve a puzzle.

  “Precisely like the boundary to the Darklands,” A voice rang like bells all around us. I spun, trying to find its source. I found none.

  “We exist in the in-between,” The voice echoed off the walls around us, making its source impossible to pinpoint “Where the outside world sees good and evil, we see shades of grey.”

  “Who’s there?” I looked to Allison for an explanation.

  “I’m sorry,” she mouthed silently, folding her arms against herself in shame.

  I looked up and was blinded by a white light. I blinked against it, finally able to make out the shape of a woman. She had long flowing hair that wrapped around her like a gown. She floated down on us, her green iridescent wings flitterin’ swiftly to keep her aloft. I felt my jaw go slack in awe as her bare feet landed silently beside us. She touched Allison’s hair gently, the way a mother might to a child. Allison flinched, shrinking away from her touch. I decided, whoever this creature was, she was not to be trusted.

  A decision that was validated when the fairy spoke:

  “Such a good little servant,” she cooed. “You’ve brought me my son.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  "Y-your what?" I stammered. The sight of her had taken the breath out of my lungs, so that my statement was nothing more than a whisper.

  "I'm sorry!" Allison moved toward me, but the fairy thrust her arm out, blocking her.

  "That's quite enough, Allison. You are dismissed."

  She looked as if she'd been struck across the face. Still she sighed and turned obediently, walking down a corridor that I was sure hadn’t been there before.

  "Wait!" I called out after her. "Ma-Allison" in my haste to keep her from disappearin' from my sight I forgot myself. If she’d heard me, she gave no indication.

  "Now, now, boy," the fairy said. "That's quite enough of that. We've much to catch up on, you and I.“ She wrapped an arm a
round my shoulder warmly and guided me toward the carving of the deer.

  "Lovely, isn't it? So bright, so innocent," her crystal eyes locked on mine and she smiled sadly. “So easily tainted by mankind.” She waved toward the outline of the man in the distance. I hadn’t noticed it before, but he carried a bow and a sliver of arrows: A hunter.

  “Not unlike you.” Her voice was sweet, comfortin’ in a way. I felt my mind start to slip away, like the feelin’ you get right before you fall asleep. She squeezed my shoulder reassuringly, guiding me to the carving on the other side of the wall. This one felt more ominous. The harpy flew against a dark purple sky, claws extended as if to attack.

  “Look again,” the fairy leaned in and I saw what I had missed. I had been thrown off guard by the beast’s appearance that I hadn’t seen the harpy’s true aim: A branch holding a nest of hatchlings.

  “Strange,” I murmured, for it felt as if both scenes had changed as I had looked at them.

  “Or perhaps it was you who changed,” the fairy suggested. I was beginning to resent the Fae’s mind reading abilities. I closed my eyes, tryin’ to will her outta my head.

  “Oftentimes the things we believe to be matters of right and wrong actually exist in shades of grey,” she went on, ignoring my attempts to block her out.

  “Take you, for instance. You who were not supposed to be. Not supposed to survive. And yet, here you are. Fierce, and strong. More so than any other offspring I’ve ever borne.” She put her hand under my chin and lifted my head one way, then the other, examinin’ me.

  “A bit of your father’s looks, no doubt. Maybe even some of his powers. We shall see.”

  “We shall do nothin’ of the sort!” I shot back, yanking my mind out of the fog she’d laid over it. “I’ll not fall for this—this—whatever you’re doin’!” I shrugged her arm off my shoulders. “I want no part of it. Bring Allison back! Bring back my Ma!”

  “Silly thing,” her wings fluttered, lifting her feet from the stone. “I am your mother. There is no other.”