Leaving Yesterday

by Zoe Dawson

  “That bites.”

  “I know, but he has to want to work on getting well. He has to seek help.”

  Anzu had been thinking long and hard about Harley, and she knew Cadie was worried about it. She’d done some of her own research online. “Cadie, I have a plan on how we can help Harley.”

  She related what she’d been thinking to Cadie. “I think it will work.”

  “That is an excellent idea. I’m going to get killed for it, but I’m in.”

  “My mother is going to ground me so hard, I’ll be eating dirt for the rest of my life, but she won’t agree to this plan at all. Cadie, we’ve got to do something. I’m…afraid for Harley. You said he’s been making noises about being a burden, that you’d be better off without him. So many veterans end up homeless, on the street, alone. I won’t have that for him.” Tears slipped down her cheeks, her voice husky.

  “Agreed.”

  “I made the reservations with my mom’s credit card.”

  “Okay, tonight, then.”

  —

  Anzu watched her beautiful mom sleep, her normally tamed blond hair a mess of yellow on the pillow. She looked so peaceful, unlike some of Anzu’s terrible dreams. She placed the folded paper on her nightstand. She’d explained as best she could that she was safe, but she had to help Harley. Instead of writing her name, she carefully drew the Japanese Kanji script for hope. She didn’t tell her what they were going to do. She couldn’t take the chance that she would stop her.

  Cadie already had her stuff in the car as she passed it. It was very late and thankfully Trace, had fallen into an exhausted sleep.

  Cadie let her into the house and she walked to Harley’s room. He was sleeping, smudges under his eyes, his restless limbs moving. He had been there for her always. This was small in comparison to the impact he had made in her life. A rush of emotion filled her and she brushed at her tears. She pulled the drawing out of her sketchbook and set it on his bedside table. It was her own creation of him as a superhero with a note that read, Even a hero needs a hero.

  Cadie came to the door and said, “That is amazing, Anzu. Even a hero needs a hero,” she repeated, slipping her arm around her friend.

  They each tilted their head, silently bolstering each other. “Let’s get going.”

  —

  Trace woke up and the first thing he did was check on his brother. He immediately saw the drawing, picked it up and frowned. He knew it wasn’t there when he’d said good night to him. The hero thing got to him and he set it back down. He went to the kitchen to get breakfast, but saw yesterday’s mail on the counter.

  He kept going over in his head how he had reacted to Rafferty. God, he’d trusted her with the most private parts of his life. He’d shared with her things he hadn’t told anyone. How could she not have trusted him, let him know why she was really in Montana? Had she planned on manipulating him?

  Or was that just a reaction to all the shit with his mother? She was a damned girl grenade and she had shattered him, blown him to pieces. He should have known better. He’d been in combat, and tunneling, or losing focus, was about the worst kind of greenhorn move in the world. Losing track of everything was a really good way to get yourself killed.

  He riflfed through the mail, then stopped on one handwritten letter. Who would have sent this? He didn’t get much handwritten mail. That was usually personal.

  He slipped his thumb under the seal and ripped it open. Pulling out the papers inside, something fluttered to the floor. He recognized his logo and the bill, and his heart seemed to stop. Rafferty. He opened the bill and found her check made out to Black’s for the charges to fix her car, along with the hefty amount for the part and shipping.

  He bent down, still looking at her beautiful handwriting, to pick up what had fallen. He looked at it and swore softly, paper clipped to the check was a piece of paper and the only words there were For Harley.

  Turning on his heel, he went directly to Reese’s room. “I’ve got to leave for a few days. I need you to take care of Harley and Cadie.”

  “I’ll make arrangements. Is everything all right?” he asked.

  “It will be,” he said, heading to his room to pack and make reservations. Before he got in his truck to drive to the airport, he went to Cadie’s room. But she was gone. When he saw the note, he swore even louder.

  Chapter 23

  Rafferty had barely weathered the week since Trace had found out about her keeping the land development from him. With calls and texts from both Susan and Clem helping her through. Clem had forgiven her immediately, which she was thankful for. It seemed that the news had flamed through Laurel Falls like wildfire. Everyone was talking about her, the possibilities, her and Trace. Clem said there hadn’t been this much excitement in a long time.

  It was only a day ago that she had finally realized why she couldn’t buy that piece of land. It wasn’t the land she was unsure about at all. It was putting a big monstrosity of a resort there. That just didn’t seem to fit.

  But everything to do with the resort took a backseat to her misery until she made a decision today. If she was really going to let her past go, she had to make a conscious effort to do that. It meant action.

  She was just finishing her coffee when there was a knock on her door. She walked over and opened it.

  She gasped when she saw Anzu and Cadie standing there. “Ohmigod! What are you two doing here?”

  “We need your help,” they said in unison and threw themselves into her arms. She closed her eyes against the tears of joy at seeing them. She quickly closed the door and ushered them into the foyer. “How did you get here?”

  “Plane,” Cadie said.

  Anzu shrugged. “I charged my mom’s card.”

  Dismay just couldn’t seem to get a toehold. She was so glad to see them. “Oh dear.”

  “That’s nothing. She wanted to hack in and get on a flight. I talked her out of that.”

  “Thank God.” Rafferty breathed a sigh of relief. “What are you doing here?”

  “We researched all the best doctors in PTSD and found a lot of them, but when we called, it’s going to be really expensive. We know you love Harley and want to help him. Don’t you?”

  “Yes,” Rafferty said. “Of course I do.” From the hopeful looks on their faces, she could barely contain her compassion. “You want my help?” She smiled at their head bobs and tears. She hugged them both. “Look, what you did was crazy and irresponsible, and I love you both for it. But, trust me when I say everything will work out. Okay?”

  They nodded in unison. “Go freshen up and wear whatever you want in my closet. Have some breakfast, but don’t you dare leave here.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “I’ve got to go to work.”

  The minute she left the apartment, she dialed Trace, but her call went directly to voicemail. She wondered where he could be. She didn’t want him to worry for a second about Cadie and Anzu.

  Armed with the plan she’d worked out, as soon as she walked out of the elevator, she walked directly to her father’s office.

  His assistant smiled and said, “Good morning,” as she breezed past.

  She didn’t wait for him to say “Come in” when she knocked. She was surprised to see Susan there, and it was clear they had been arguing. About her? She marched up to his desk and said, “I have something to say, and I would appreciate it if you would wait until I’m done speaking before responding.”

  Susan’s eyes were alight with her unwavering support. The woman was a gem.

  “All right,” he said warily.

  “I drove to Montana mostly out of panic and unhappiness. I wasn’t really looking for anything other than solace, instead I found my heart’s desire in a small town.”

  He sat back in his chair, but she was bolstered by the way he looked so open to her words. Susan pressed her hand to his shoulder. “I’ve made an offer on the inn there and it was accepted. I’m now the new owner. I’m going to renovate it an
d move there to run it.”

  “You’re quitting. Can’t say I’m surprised after what you said on the jet. Go on.” Susan’s eyes went moist and Rafferty’s eyes stung with tears, so sure of her decision.

  “I also have plans to revitalize the town. I think the mayor is a sharp cookie, and I’m going to collaborate with her.”

  “Can I speak now?” he said gruffly.

  “Oh, yes.”

  “First off, I want to apologize for running roughshod over you when I came to Montana. I was angry over losing the land to Cavanaugh. He’s such a bastard.”

  She nodded. “I totally get that, Dad. I’m sorry we lost the land. I truly am. It was a stellar piece of land and would have worked for us. If you saw my report—”

  “We’ll talk about that in a minute.” He cleared his throat. “Secondly, I’m proud of you for taking steps in the direction that will lead to your happiness. It hurts like hell to lose you, my darling, but I would rather you be happy with what you’re doing than be miserable to please me.”

  She ran around the desk and threw herself into his arms as he rose. “And, about this town business,” he said brusquely as he held her tight. “That’s quite an undertaking.”

  “I know. But you’re going to help.”

  Susan laughed as Rafferty hugged her tight and she hugged her back.

  He chuckled. “I am? How?”

  “We lost the land you wanted, but I found something else I think will work better. Montana isn’t about modern resorts. It’s about hard work and warm hearts. It’s about neighborhoods and being there for the people you love. So I propose we look for an existing ranch. I think guests would love to have a real ranch experience. Make it a working ranch resort where people can participate. We’ll need an environmental impact study, and the usual analytics. Oh, it’s all in my report that I sent you this morning. I’ve already done all the preliminaries…”

  “I’ve already seen it and I love the idea. I think you know what you’re talking about, and you have my go-ahead to get that started. So one more job for me before you’re off the payroll.”

  She sniffed and he handed her his handkerchief. “The report was quite thorough and well written as usual. I love you, Rafferty.”

  “I love you, Daddy.”

  As his phone buzzed, she turned to Susan and she said, “I’m so proud of you, too, sweetie.”

  Her father pushed the intercom. “Yes.”

  “Sir, reception just let me know there’s a gentleman to see Miss Hamilton. He’s quite insistent.”

  “Hmm, I don’t have any appointments this morning. Must be a mix-up. I’ll be right out. Thanks,” Rafferty said, frowning slightly.

  “You make your plans. We’re going to miss you. Does this Trace Black fellow have anything to do with this decision?”

  She stopped on her way out and turned and said, “He has everything to do with it.”

  “Just as I thought. Carry on.”

  Rafferty knew what she’d done wrong. She’d held back because she was afraid to risk her heart again, but it didn’t matter. Trace had taken it anyway. She’d been living in the past just like Trace, always looking back when she should have been embracing the present.

  She had been holding back. It had taken her all this time to work through it, but she’d finally figured it out. She was going to show him that she hadn’t been anything but sincere.

  When she was almost to reception, she heard murmurs and whisperings, soft sighs. As she approached, she caught sight of a black Stetson. Trace stood at the front desk, still demanding to see her. His voice sounded angry and carried to where she was. Suddenly he stopped talking and turned. A resolute look settled over his face. He looked every inch the renegade with that hat pulled low over his eyes. As he cleared the desk, the tight fit of his jeans tapering down to the silver-tipped black cowboy boots made her sigh.

  “Cadie and Anzu are safe. They’re at my apartment.”

  “Is there somewhere we can talk?” he growled, and she pointed down the hall. He grabbed her arm and started in that direction. She risked a glance at his face, but he gave nothing away. He spied her name on the door and headed in that direction. Exploding into her office, he shut the door behind them.

  Suddenly she realized that he had something gripped in his fist, and her mouth went dry. He started crowding her and she backed up, her backside hitting the desk, stopping their momentum. Trace thrust the crumpled check in his fist right in her face.

  “Is this about charity?”

  The anger she thought she saw just wasn’t there. His eyes were open and vulnerable. She covered his fist with her hands and kissed him on his white knuckles. “No, Trace. It’s about love.”

  His face softened and he closed his eyes.

  “I love you. It happened, and I didn’t even know it until I got home and I was so bereft without you. I missed all that activity and family drama, and I missed you so much I thought I would die. It was even worse knowing that you thought I was keeping quiet because I was hoping to work you over for the resort.”

  “Rafferty…,” he said.

  “But I would never do that to you. I love your family and I miss them so much. I was so happy to see Cadie and Anzu…I love that girl. I made the mistake of marrying for something other than deep, abiding love. I never needed Sean. That was our main problem. I never needed him…like I need you. I don’t know what to do, except ask you to forgive me.”

  He stood in front of her, his insides a tangle. Ever since he got off the plane and had impatiently made his way to her high-rise office building, his heated need to yell at her about the money she’d so generously offered for Harley’s care dissipated. In its place was an uncertainty about how he was going to get her back in his arms. A thousand feelings piling up in his chest, guilt, self-doubt, fear, but—most of all—love.

  Feeling suddenly very shaky inside, he dropped the check and pulled her against him. She was still talking, but all he had heard were those three words his heart needed to hear. He shook her. “Rafferty.” Suddenly his vision blurred. God, but he loved her.

  His hands not quite steady, he gathered her hair back off her face and smoothed it down, the ache in his throat so intense it made his jaw hurt. He didn’t know what he would have done if she hadn’t said that.

  She pulled his head down, his face contorting with raw emotion as she slipped her hands into his hair, fusing herself flush against him. He hung on to her, grateful—God, so grateful—for her. “Ah, Raff,” he whispered, his voice shaking. “You will never know how much I love you. And how sorry I am for hurting you because of my own goddamned bullshit.”

  Making a choking sound, she tightened her arms around him and turned her face into the curve of his neck, then started to cry. He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t try to stop her. He just hung on to her with all the love and the strength he could muster. And he let her tears heal him from the inside out.

  He held her for a long, long time, locked in a tight embrace, trying to reassure her, trying to reassure himself. Finally she drew a deep, tremulous breath, grasping the back of his head and holding him close.

  “We’ll send Harley to a specialist who can work with him to help him recover. It’s just money, Trace. I have so much of it. Let me help with this.”

  For the first time in his life, the very first time, he let someone else take the burden. He held her face between his hands. “Yes. All right. I have to be convinced it’s right for him, or he’s not going.”

  She swallowed hard and smoothed her hands up his back, her eyes filling with tears again. “You really do love me…or you wouldn’t have agreed. Thank you for letting me in.”

  He pressed his thumb against her mouth. “No, Raff, thank you for being so forgiving and for loving me.” He heaved a heavy sigh. “I love you, Rafferty. And I want you in my life no matter what. But, I come with sidekicks.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, I pretty much get that you’re a package deal. Sounds good to me. I get e
verything for one low price.”

  He covered her mouth with a slow, searching kiss. Her breath caught, and she pressed against him hard as her cell chimed.

  He looked down at it on her desk and scowled. She glanced down, too. “Greg.”

  “Yeah, is he going to be a problem for you?”

  He huffed and said, “Big brother, right?”

  “Yes, completely big brother.”

  “Then, maybe we can bury the hatchet. Time will tell. I’m willing if he is.”

  “That’s a start.”

  “Let’s go browbeat my sister and Anzu while we make plans to get you to Laurel Falls.”

  “Oh, sweetheart, I already have plans.”

  “Why am I not surprised, Commander Princess?” he said gruffly.

  Epilogue

  She’d just finished her farewell dinner with Greg, and he was walking her to a taxi. “Are you sure about leaving, Raff? That cowboy is worthy of you?” he said, his face and his voice sincere.

  “Yes. Very much so. You met him and you like him. Admit it. I got him to admit he liked you.”

  Greg laughed. “Well, that’s something. And it doesn’t matter what I think, but, yeah, I do like him. I’ll trash talk him and kick his ass if he hurts you.”

  “He might give me fits and drive me crazy, and he might hurt me every once in a while along the way, but it won’t be intentional. I love him, Greg. I had no idea what that really meant. All this time, I thought Sean was right for me, but I did to him what I’ve always done. I bought him like a piece of land and never really developed it. He felt it and I was just plain clueless. I never really loved him as much as I thought I did. Trace made me see that.”

  “I’m going to miss you so much.” He’d hugged her tight.

  “You’ll have to come and visit. I’ll have an inn where you can stay.” She wrapped her arms around him, and he was certain that he would once again find himself in big sky country. He had to have his dose of Rafferty.