Searching for Home (Wolves of West Valley Book 2)

by Sarah J. Stone

  The loudest feeling was still guilt.

  Chapter Twenty

  The bathroom tap was leaky.

  It let a few droplets of water hit the drain every minute, breaking Anthony’s concentration as he stared at his reflection.

  He’d marked her.

  It wasn’t a big deal in his last pack, but here they seemed a lot less friendly to the idea.

  What if they found out who she was?

  Would she have to deal with a bite back from the local pack?

  He wanted to be able to protect her.

  If he couldn’t, what use was he?

  Anthony washed his face to clear his thoughts. He was getting muddled up with hormones from having sex with her. All he wanted was to settle down with her as his partner, to show her that he could take care of her and be all she needed.

  He wanted to provide for her.

  It was an old, biological calling, something that was in his blood not only as a wolf, but as a human as well. Anything he could do to make his partner happy and comfortable would never be too much. She was his life now.

  She needed to be comfortable with all parts of him.

  Even the parts of him that he kept most hidden.

  When he went out to the living room, she was falling asleep. Anthony smiled and picked her up gently.

  “What?” Sierra said softly, her voice thick with sleep.

  “I’m just getting you to bed,” he explained as he opened her bedroom door and turned on the lights. Her room was decorated with dozens of pictures of her and her mother, and he made a mental note to ask her to show him all of them some time. He wanted to know everything about her life.

  “Thank you,” she said softly, kissing him as he set her on the bed.

  Anthony pulled the sheets up and tucked her in gently.

  “Get in with me.” She patted the space on the bed beside her.

  “Your bed is a twin sized one. I wouldn’t fit with you on it,” he laughed.

  “You could always try,” she sounded like she was serious, but he knew he needed to pass up the tempting offer. He needed time by himself to figure out his own mind.

  “I have to go back to my hotel tonight. I have business to do,” he explained, running his fingers through his hair.

  “When will I see you again?” she seemed to wake up a little at hearing he was leaving.

  “I want you to see me shift,” he said. “Tell me when you’re ready to see me when I’m a wolf, and we’ll set up a time,” he offered.

  “I’m ready,” Sierra said, almost too quickly. She seemed eager to find a way to have him stay the night, and although it was alluring and tempting, he knew better.

  He needed time to himself.

  “I’ll text you in the morning,” he answered, kissing her forehead.

  “All right,” she said, dejected.

  ***

  The drive back to the hotel dragged on forever.

  He’d driven for days between packs, before stopping for more than gas and food, yet this half hour drive was tedious and too long. He wanted to be asleep with Sierra. He wanted to be able to just stay the night with her like she offered, without worry that it would impact her in any way.

  He knew he was a ways off from that being possible.

  Pulling up to the hotel, he realized he was even further away from it than he’d assumed.

  There were a couple of men outside his hotel room. Both were bald, both had nasty and unhappy looks on their faces.

  The options ran through his head like a game show.

  Behind door one, he could just get out and see what they wanted. There was a chance they were at the wrong door, or even that they just wanted to talk. This wasn’t entirely likely, but it was possible. The only other option with this approach was that they’d want to fight.

  Behind door two, he could drive back to Sierra. He could sleep in her tiny bed beside her, or even on the couch in the living room, and pretend he didn’t see them standing there. Or they could follow him to her place. Confront him there, in front of her. She could lose trust in him this way, or even possibly get hurt, and it would be his own fault for bringing them there.

  He couldn’t do that.

  Tired of it all, he parked his car.

  It all felt like slow motion.

  As he turned off his car, he could feel their eyes flick up to him. He looked back at them, returning the threat. Anthony took his wallet out of his pocket and slipped it into the glovebox. If they were going to try anything, at least his money would be safe. Easily and without hesitation, he opened his car door and slid out. The night air was cooler than he expected. He’d been so warm leaving Sierra’s apartment.

  He was going to take his time.

  Anthony looked up, taking in how many thousands of stars were visible in the dark of the night, and when he looked back down, the men were walking toward him.

  Time to rise up to the opposition.

  Steadily, not letting hesitation show, he matched their pace and walked back toward the strangers.

  He tried to match their faces to anyone he saw at the meeting, but they weren’t familiar.

  “I heard you fuck outside of your species,” one of the men said. His voice was slurred with alcohol. A couple steps closer and Anthony could smell it.

  “I’m not here to cause trouble,” Anthony said simply, offering them an easy out.

  “Fuck you. Our blood lines are thin enough as it is,” the other man said. He sounded more than sober. Anthony wasn’t sure which man seemed more dangerous.

  “I’m just trying to live my life. Let me in, and I’ll leave. You won’t see me again. I’ll leave the pack alone,” Anthony said, knowing it sounded like a threat.

  “No, you’ll stand out here and talk with us for a while,” the first man said, walking closer.

  “You don’t look like you just want to talk,” Anthony said simply, grounding himself to his spot.

  “Well, you got us there.”

  The first punch didn’t hurt.

  Even though he expected it, the impact still surprised him. This surprise ate away any pain it may have caused, covering it with a dozen other sensations. Mostly anger.

  The second punch not only hurt, it pissed him the fuck off.

  What did he do to deserve this? Fell in love with a non-shifter? So what?

  She was amazing. Anyone would be out of their damned minds to think they couldn’t fall in love with her. She was quickly becoming the only thing he could think about anymore, and he wasn’t complaining.

  On the third hit, a crack to his jaw, Anthony decided to fight back.

  His blood was boiling, and he’d been aching to have someone he could take it out on.

  Balling his fists tight and keeping his wrists straight, he started giving back. Every hit he landed felt like catharsis, felt like confession. He let the blows cleanse him of his stress and his anger.

  His family was dead. He was alone. Now that he was reaching out, finding someone who cared, these bastards wanted to take that from him?

  No! Fuck that! He wasn’t going to let strangers sit around and try to tell him how he needed to live his life.

  He wasn’t going to let them ruin the one good in his life.

  The two men were strong and practiced, and their fists and fingers were hungrier. The pain started to outweigh his anger, and Anthony hit the ground only after bloodying one of their noses and blackening the other’s eyes.

  Usually, shifters would only fight as wolves, but something about doing it as men felt right.

  They started kicking him, and he coughed out – not begging for help, but trying to make them stop. Eventually, he stilled his body, and after he didn’t move for five minutes, they got bored and left.

  The easy way out would have been to shift.

  He could become a wolf, and then shift back to human and each scratch and bruise would be gone.

  He didn�
�t, though.

  Each wound, each pain, was earned, and he wanted to wear them long enough to really feel them.

  Anthony limped his way to his hotel room, feeling his ribs swell and ache from the pain of it all.

  The cold water of the sink finally woke him up out of his haze.

  The world was moving at the correct speed again, and watching it catch up left him with a feeling of spiraling vertigo.

  He wasn’t sure why, but he felt cleansed in a deeper way than the soap on his skin.

  Once his blood no longer colored the sink’s stream, Anthony turned off the water and pat his skin dry with one of the soft, white hand towels.

  A new conviction overtook him.

  He’d let Sierra see him like this.

  If she didn’t run, then she felt the same way he did about her. He’d be able to trust her and keep her around for good. He wasn’t sure what he’d do if she turned him down – probably skip town immediately – but for now, he’d try.

  Settling down into the room’s queen-sized bed, he couldn’t help but feel how empty it was.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “How’s your mother?” Cassie, the girl Sierra was relieving at work, was always kind enough to ask this.

  “She had a seizure. They’re keeping her longer than expected,” Sierra said plainly, clocking in and straightening out her work attire.

  “I’m so sorry. What is this, her second?”

  “Third.”

  “My prayers go out to you, too,” Cassie said as she clocked out. Sierra found herself jealous of Cassie for getting to go home. Sierra would have traded anything for another minute at her mother’s side at that point. Instead, she had to serve drinks and food to strangers and hope they didn’t try to talk to her about anything personal.

  At least she had Anthony to look forward to.

  It was a slow night to start, only older folk who seemed to flock out the moment they woke up. Sierra tried to picture her mother as one of them. Would her mother play slots? Keno? Would she be one of those who ordered booze at eight in the morning, or one who stuck to just orange juice or pop?

  An older man hit the jackpot, and his machine lit up garishly as it started pouring out chips at him.

  At least she’d be tipped well.

  Halfway through her shift, the younger crowd finally came in.

  She kept an eye out for Anthony, even though she knew he’d probably be trying to keep a low profile. As incredible as their evening together was the night before, she knew he was on eggshells with the locals.

  Sierra kept a smile on and put her all into getting her work done to distract herself, but she couldn’t battle down the sense of disappointment she felt when the door opened and it wasn’t him.

  What was this?

  Was he done with her now that they’d done it a couple times? Did he have his fill?

  Sierra shot him a text on her break, saying she was on shift and was dying to see a friendly face.

  As her shift drew to an end, there was still no reply.

  Usually, she would have gone home.

  She would have started the healing process of it. Called it over to herself and told herself to move on. Usually, she’d press forward and put this in the dust before it even had a proper conclusion.

  Not with Anthony.

  He deserved better.

  She did, too.

  Room 233.

  Sierra banged on his hotel door just loud enough so that she could be sure he’d heard. His car was in the parking lot, so she knew he was there. Whatever was going on had to be more than just him being done with her. She had to believe that.

  “Anthony?” she asked as she banged on the door again.

  There was a noise inside, some kind of movement, and she stilled to listen. Footsteps. She could hear footsteps. They headed to the door, and when it opened before her, a yelp caught in her throat.

  “Anthony?” she asked, horrified.

  He looked awful. His jaw and face were bruised, his left eye was swollen, and he moved like he was standing on needles.

  “Anthony, are you okay?” she asked, pressing past him into his room and to the sink. There was blood on the faucet, like he’d tried to clean himself up and failed.

  “I’m fine,” his voice was hoarse. “I needed you to see this,” he added, which confused Sierra further.

  “Then why didn’t you come to the Casino tonight? I’ve been there all night,” she said, wetting one of the hotel’s washcloths to wipe his face of any crusted blood.

  “I don’t want you to be at risk for being seen with me,” he said, his voice sounded put out and aggravated.

  “Did local people do this, then? They don’t like you, so they beat you up?”

  “They don’t like that I’m in a relationship with someone who’s not a shifter,” he graveled out.

  Sierra’s heart beat faster at him calling it a relationship.

  He wasn’t ditching her.

  “That’s messed up. You can’t help who you’re interested in,” Sierra sympathized, sitting on the bed and patting the covers beside her for him. Anthony sat down as well. The bed creaked beneath him like it was complaining, and Sierra began to wipe his face off.

  “I know. That doesn’t change how they feel, though,” Anthony said, shaking his head.

  “What would it take for them to come around and see that it’s not some messed up thing?” Sierra asked, pausing as he winced in pain at her touch.

  “I’m not sure anything could do it,” he admitted, taking her hand.

  “So…what? Do you still want to be part of them?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you going to stop seeing me…for them?”

  “No, I couldn’t do that.”

  Sierra sighed. She didn’t understand.

  She wasn’t sure that she wanted to understand, but she needed him to be happy.

  “We should just leave together,” she said softly, holding his hands tight.

  She knew what it meant.

  What saying that implied about her mother.

  She wasn’t sure how serious she was, but she was tired of having to hide herself. She had only known Anthony an embarrassingly short time. With anyone else, she’d still consider them a stranger, but with Anthony, she felt like she was at home whenever she was around him. Every inch and atom that made him was perfect for her, tailor-made in ways that fairytales only ever talked about.

  Sierra wasn’t going to give this up just because some people were judgmental jerks.

  “Sierra, I don’t want to hurt you with any of this,” Anthony said gently.

  “You act like I’m not part of this, like I don’t actively want to be in your life,” she answered, smiling sadly. “I’m here for all of this, even if I don’t entirely understand it. I’m here for all of it,” she said.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely,” she nodded. Holding his hand in hers, she ran her fingers over and against his. “I’m here for the long haul,” she added.

  “Those are dangerous words.”

  “They’re honest ones.”

  “Then in the morning, I want you to meet my wolf,” he said, sounding firm in the idea.

  A few days ago, she would have been scared at the idea. Hell, she was scared a few days ago, but now she knew nothing mattered except getting him in her arms and keeping him there.

  “I can’t wait,” she admitted, leaning her head against his shoulder.

  Whatever shit he was in, she was happy to be in it with him.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  His car hummed loudly as they drove away from town.

  It was too dangerous to shift close to town, too hazardous to risk any part of the pack seeing him as a wolf. It would be seen as an act of defiance. They’d think it was a big ‘fuck you’ and call to action. He just wanted to heal himself and see if Sierra could still love this part of him.

  H
e glanced over at her and couldn’t help but let a smile steal his worry away.

  Sierra was falling asleep, one hand on her lidded coffee in her cup holder, the other leaned against the window with her face. Her breath steamed on the glass like fog covering the forest they drove through, and he wanted to hold her so tight in that moment.

  She looked separate from everything that was going on.

  An innocent bystander that he’d swept up into his mess.

  And she was to some degree, but he couldn’t deny that she’d made the choice for a lot of it. He loved that about her. He wanted her to be happy, to feel loved and wanted; he’d give anything for it.

  Even give up having a pack.

  The idea was new and shocking, and he fought it down as he navigated through the forest that was still glistening with the morning dew. His body still ached from the beating he’d taken over a day ago. His ribs weren’t broken, but they felt bruised and tender.

  Anthony grabbed another mini-donut out of the bag they bought at the gas station twenty miles back and let the powdery, sugary goodness distract him from his pain.

  When they finally got far enough away that he felt safe shifting, they’d been driving for almost two hours. They were only, actually, an hour out, but he didn’t want to risk them being followed. He didn’t mind getting in another fight if he could shift first or during the fight, but he didn’t want Sierra to see him like that.

  He loved her.

  The realization was strong and sudden, but he didn’t question it.

  She was like a fated mate for him, if that was possible to share with humans. He wasn’t sure it was. He’d given her a hickey, though, and she hadn’t gone through any changes, so she was full-on human. Shifters only usually had fated mates who were also shifters.

  Although nothing about them was normal or relied on convention.

  “Sierra, we’re here,” he woke her gently, taking her hand in his after he parked the car in a random field.

  “Yeah?” she asked, yawning and stretching. He could see it in her eyes that she didn’t like looking at him when he was picked apart like this.