Ghost Mysteries & Sassy Witches (Cozy Mystery Multi-Novel Anthology)

by Неизвестный

  Carter stepped out of the car, keys in hand, and dimly noted a human-sized blob in a knitted cap standing near the valet station. The blob was yelling, “TOSS THEM AT ME,” so he did, not knowing she was referring to pizza pops and talking on the phone.

  The keys sailed through the winter air, smacked Danielle in the chin, then fell down into the snow.

  Danielle gasped in shock at being walloped in the face with a not-insubstantial set of keys. She didn’t realize the man who’d tossed the keys had only done so because she’d been yelling, “TOSS THEM AT ME!”

  Carter didn’t give the blurry blob of a valet a second look. Thanks to the cloaking power of the Hat of Invisibility, he concluded that the young man who’d failed to catch the keys was high or stupid or both.

  Carter walked into the restaurant and stopped in his tracks. He’d found another elephant.

  Ever since the stranger had tossed her dice on his table, and warned him about his last chance at having love fall on his head, Carter had been seeing elephants everywhere he went. In advertisements. In movies. Even on his niece’s favorite sweater.

  Now here was a wall-sized mural of an elephant inside the restaurant, mocking him.

  He told himself it was meaningless, just a quirk of consciousness. The human mind was a pattern recognition engine, constantly sorting stimuli into things to notice and things to ignore. The elephants had always been around, cloaked in the invisibility spell of the chemicals in his own brain.

  The woman in the coffee shop had merely planted a suggestion. The fact that he was going for a blind date at a restaurant named The Snowy Elephant didn’t mean anything at all.

  It was actually a smart name for a restaurant. Most elephants didn’t live in climates with snow, so the name implied something special. Excellent branding, he decided. His expectations for the evening rose considerably.

  3.

  While Carter’s hopes rose, a grumpy valet attendant’s mood kept dropping.

  Danielle parked the rich key-tossing jerk’s car and looked around his vehicle’s interior for evidence of his awfulness. The car was spotless. She snorted at herself. Had she really expected to find a copy of Wealthy & Rude magazine on the back seat? Perhaps the low blood sugar was getting to her. The buttery-soft leather of the driver’s seat was starting to look like edible.

  She jumped out of the car and hustled back through the forest shortcut to the valet station.

  Her co-worker, a young man named Eddie, who was not part of the international love rectangle, stood in her place, grinning.

  “Chef says you’re hungry,” he said, referring to the chef as Chef, because his real name was Andrew and there were three other Andrews working at the lodge.

  “I’m hangry.” Danielle grabbed for Eddie’s pockets like an eager dog frisking a pet store employee for complimentary dental biscuits.

  Eddie jumped back. “Easy there, Dani. You’ll get food, but it’s not on me. We’ve got a deluxe prank planned. It’s going to be the prank of the season. Years from now, our children will be talking about the shenanigans we’re about to pull off.”

  “Do these shenanigans involve me getting pizza pops from Chef?”

  “Even better. I’m taking over the valet station so you can go inside. And you can have anything you want from the menu.”

  Danielle’s mouth watered. “From the menu? You mean not just stuff Chef burned or had to throw out of the fridge?”

  Eddie grinned. He was cute for a twenty-year-old redhead with a gap between his teeth—like a young David Letterman.

  “The whole menu. As much as you want,” Eddie said. “But there’s a catch.”

  Danielle’s mouth kept watering. “I don’t care,” she said. “I’ll cover myself in ketchup and re-enact my finest hour working as a corporate drone, if that’s what the gang wants.”

  Eddie’s gap-toothed grin got even wider. “Get inside and go straight to the kitchen office. They’ve already got your costume picked out from the Lost and Found.”

  Danielle grumbled that she didn’t like the sound of that, but secretly she was excited. This prank involved a makeover, and she hadn’t had a makeover in years, since she was a teenager going to slumber parties.

  If she’d known being broke would be so much fun, she would have doused herself in ketchup years ago. The only thing missing from her life was a boyfriend. But Danielle wasn’t greedy. She appreciated the other things in her new life, like friendships, and sleeping under the stars, and shenanigans.

  Tonight’s prank promised to be a fun one. Ordering from the menu! Life was good.

  4.

  As Danielle had guessed, the first part of the prank did involve a makeover. Her coworkers laughed and swooped around her like the small animals in the classic Disney Cinderella movie.

  A few of them hummed that classic schoolyard hopscotch song, about Cinderella dressed in “yella.”

  Soon Danielle was dressed in “yella”—a figure-flattering dress in a buttery shade of ombre yellow, darkening to a peach hue at the top and green at the hemline. She’d never seen such an attractive and distinctive garment before. She swirled this way and that, admiring herself in the office’s door-mounted mirror.

  Because the lodge catered to a wealthy clientele, there was no shortage of expensive clothing to be found in the Lost and Found box, but this dress was beyond exquisite.

  “Why has nobody else snagged this yet?” Danielle asked. She gave the fabric a sniff, fearing the worst, but it smelled brand new.

  “That color would make me look like Big Bird,” said a tall prep cook.

  “Sadly, it’s not my size either,” said the Canadian bartender.

  “We all saw it this morning and set it aside for you,” said a third.

  Danielle held her arms out and hugged the girls. They were all younger than her, some barely out of their teens, but they treated her like she was no different from them.

  The prep cook made some final adjustments to Danielle’s amber waves of hair while the bartender applied a liberal coating of what she called “the face,” meaning makeup dialed up to a glamorous level.

  Danielle’s stomach growled, which made them all laugh. She was only doing this prank to eat. She wasn’t romantically interested in the man sitting by himself in the dining room, or so she believed.

  She’d gotten a good look at him on her way in. He was the key-tossing jerk, tall and broad-shouldered, with sandy-brown hair, emerald eyes, and great posture. He’d looked lonely, sitting at a table with only bread rolls and a martini for company.

  He didn’t know that the woman he’d been scheduled to meet had called the restaurant to say she couldn’t make it. His blind date had been thorough in the message she’d asked the resort staff to pass along, even saying, “Tell Carter I was so looking forward to meeting him after hearing so much about him from his lovely sister, and I deeply regret having to cancel.”

  From that very informative phone message, the Canadian bartender who’d taken the call had accurately surmised the date was a blind date. She loved shenanigans as much as any of them, and within minutes, the prank fell into place.

  Yes, it was the sort of thing they could all get in trouble for if they were caught, but it was unlikely they’d be fired. Peak season had begun, and the lodge owners would be reluctant to fire a dozen staff members and be short-handed and scrambling. The gang’s job security depended on having everyone be involved in these pranks.

  “Knock ‘em dead,” the bartender said to Danielle as she applied the finishing touches to her makeup.

  “To be clear, I’m only doing this because I’m so hangry,” Danielle said.

  The other girls exchanged knowing looks.

  “There won’t be any funny business with the rich jerk,” Danielle said.

  They handed her a long wool jacket to wear over the dress, then pushed her toward the side door that exited the building. To preserve the illusion she was this man’s blind date, she would enter via the front door.


  Once outside, Danielle stood underneath the immense sculpture of the elephant that jutted out of the building high overhead. She looked up at its silhouette against the starry night sky and realized she was forgetting something.

  The elephant was covered in snow. It was her job as the valet parking attendant to get up on the roof every few hours and sweep the snow off so it didn’t suddenly dump on people passing underneath, but she’d forgotten.

  Her whole evening had been off-kilter. Back at the house she shared with her dozen roommates, she’d decided to make herself useful before her valet shift began, and cleaned out the wood-burning fireplace on the house’s main floor. She’d gotten ashes and soot all over herself from dealing with the cinders, then barely had time to clean up before work. In her haste, she’d forgotten to bring her packed meal and snacks, which led to a growling stomach and susceptibility to bad ideas.

  Now she was wearing a gorgeous outfit, about to enjoy a sumptuous meal from the menu, with a handsome man. She’d be lying to him, but he was a key-tossing jerk.

  She walked into The Snowy Elephant, handed her coat to the attendant in exchange for a wink, then walked to the table. Her breath caught in her throat. Up close, the man was so much more handsome than she’d prepared herself for.

  Danielle had seen attractive men before, and powerful men, but rarely had she seen this particular combination. Carter didn’t look like a real person, but like the gorgeous actor hired to play him in the Hollywood movie.

  She could happily be in love with a man like this, and he wouldn’t even need to love her back. In fact, it would be better if they didn’t interact beyond this evening. She would happily love him from afar.

  He quickly stood up, as a gentleman of good breeding does, and looked into her eyes. His emerald green eyes seared their way to her soul. He saw right through her disguise, or so it felt to Danielle. She’d been wearing the Hat of Invisibility so much, she’d forgotten what it felt like to be truly seen.

  This was a bad idea, her brain screamed. Run away!

  She might have turned around and run away, abandoning the prank, but a force more powerful than her anxiety drove her forward.

  This unseen force was not her growling stomach, nor was it her desire to entertain her friends—though both of those things were powerful in their own way.

  The extra bit of courage she could feel was a swirling vortex of energy—a magical spell that most people call… hope.

  Were you expecting love?

  Hope comes first.

  5.

  Carter didn’t reach out his hand, but glanced with embarrassment down to the table. He had taken all of the bread rolls and used broken bits of the toothpicks from his martini as an internal support system for a bread roll tower.

  “That’s interesting,” Danielle said as she took her seat. “Your sister didn’t mention your interest in pastry-based architecture.” Danielle didn’t know his sister at all, but the Canadian bartender had filled her in on the pertinent details from the man’s absentee blind date.

  He sat across from her and dazzled her with a happy, surprised smile.

  “You’ve got to be Elle,” he said. “I’m so glad you made it. I was beginning to worry you’d been dragged off and eaten by the yetis of local legend.”

  You’ve got to be Elle.

  Did she? Did she have to be Elle?

  Could she actually follow through with the prank? Lying seemed so much easier in theory than in reality. Sure, she had a decade of experience as a corporate liar in the marketing sector, but she’d taken this job to get away from that.

  The sandy-brown-haired, handsome man reached across the table with an outstretched palm.

  “Carter,” he said. “As you know. And I’ll have the waiter bring us some bread that hasn’t been man-handled. It’s actually nice to meet you, Elle.”

  Actually? What was he expecting?

  They shook hands, and Danielle’s brow knitted over being called Elle. Was she really lying by saying she was Elle? It was a portion of her name. She loved the French-ness of it, the femininity. She typically got called Dani, or Dan, or That Girl Who Poured Ketchup on Herself.

  Elle. Perhaps this prank could turn into more than just an interesting story. Perhaps she could become Elle, this glamorous girl who showed up late—but fabulous—for blind dates with handsome bachelors.

  While Danielle contemplated new nicknames, Carter pinched his arm to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He’d only agreed to this blind date because he was so bored after a few days at the resort by himself. He’d planned to misbehave to get his sister off his back, and had been thinking up rude and disgusting ways to end dinner early. Building a tower out of bread rolls and getting drunk on martinis was the first phase of his plan.

  But all Carter’s juvenile plans evaporated as he stared at the lovely woman across from him. She was different from all the girls he’d dated. For one thing, she wasn’t a girl, but a grown woman. And she seemed almost wise, like she knew who she was. She just seemed so… honest.

  The air around Carter swirled with energy, and he felt something shift inside him. He wanted to change. He wanted to hope for love.

  Maybe.

  Carter signaled for the waiter, who came and removed all the bread rolls. He heard a whimper from across the table.

  “You seem dismayed,” Carter said to his date.

  “Just famished. I would have eaten those rolls, broken toothpicks and all.”

  The waiter assured them he’d be right back with more, and asked if she’d like a drink. Danielle stared at the plump, green olive in Carter’s empty martini glass.

  “That olive looks delicious,” she said with a watering mouth.

  “Two martinis,” Carter said to the waiter, “And one each of the house appetizers.”

  Once the waiter was gone, Carter said, “I hope you don’t mind me ordering for both of us. I usually dine alone. Please forgive my bad manners.”

  She shrugged. “As long as I get to eat, I’m happy.”

  “I love your honesty.”

  She coughed and made a funny face before reaching for her glass of water.

  He leaned forward suddenly, staring at her dress like he’d just noticed something surprising.

  “You’re dressed in yellow,” he said, then narrowed his eyes as though she’d done something terrible.

  Uh-oh, Danielle thought.

  She didn’t like this suspicious look on Carter’s handsome face. As he scoured her face and upper body, she panicked. He recognized her as the valet who’d parked his car.

  “Have I done something wrong?” she asked innocently.

  “Very funny,” he said with a snort. “I knew you were too perfect. Someone put you up to this. The whole thing, yellow dress and all.”

  She took a deep breath, holding it while her eyebrows raised higher and higher. Of course he knew. He’d chucked his keys right at her face, and everyone knew there was no such thing as a magical Hat of Invisibility.

  “I’m not stupid,” Carter said. “I can tell when someone’s pulling a prank.”

  Danielle let her breath out with a sigh.

  “Yes,” she admitted. “It’s another one of our classic pranks. I’m very sorry.”

  She meant to explain more about the prank, and how it had been the idea of the kitchen staff, but she was too weak from hunger, so she just slumped in the chair and tried to blend with the background.

  “You prankster,” he said with a snort. He seemed more amused than angry.

  She met his snort with one of her own. “Pretty stupid, right?”

  “Totally stupid,” he said with a relaxed laugh. “The elephant, plus the yellow dress. If I hadn’t had those two martinis, I would have known immediately.”

  “It was worth a shot,” she said with a shrug. “A girl’s gotta eat. Know what I mean?” She winked.

  “A girl’s gotta eat,” he repeated.

  “You’re being such a great sport about it. Some guys
would complain and try to get me fired.”

  “Fired?” He gave her a confused look.

  “Never mind.” She laughed. “I’ll just stop talking now before I give you any ideas. And I should probably be going now, leaving you.”

  “There’s no need to leave.”

  “Are you sure? You don’t hate me for being a fraud?” She laughed nervously.

  “I don’t hate you.” Carter joined her laughter with his own chuckle. Their voices blended together, harmonizing. They didn’t notice the harmony on a conscious level, but the resonance manifested as a shiver in their spines.

  She ended her laughter with a sigh. “I don’t hate you, either,” she said. “I assumed you were a rich jerk, and you are, but you’re not the worst.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said. “I have two questions. Are you single, and if you are, do you have any time to date? Not that I’m interested in dating right now. I don’t believe in love. I’m asking as a hypothetical question.”

  She leaned forward. “I am single, but I’m only sitting here because I’m hungry.”

  “That’s all you’re after? Some food?”

  “Yes?” Her answer sounded like a question.

  She couldn’t manage much more, because his emerald green eyes captivated her, reflecting the shimmering chandelier lights of the elegant dining room.

  The way he was looking at her, combined with the sensual feeling of the elegant designer dress against her skin, gave her some very complicated feelings. She ought to apologize and excuse herself immediately. But… they hadn’t even gotten their appetizers yet.

  “What brought you to this resort?” he asked.

  “A bus.”

  “Really?”

  “Sure. Have you ever taken a left turn when you should have gone right and found yourself on the road?”

  “No. I make a plan and I stick to it. I don’t go for walks in the woods. I do my cardio on a treadmill while I take calls and set up more appointments. That’s why I’m wildly successful and rich.” Carter went on to boast about climbing the corporate ladder, and how he never did one thing at a time if he could do two things, or three things.