BOMAW 12-14

by Mercedes Keyes

  "Em hm, nothing to say huh?" Betty went on.

  "We're supposed to leave tomorrow mama, not today."

  "I think I've changed my mind, not having a good time anyway."

  "Whose fault is that mama?" Lacy returned more sharp than she intended.

  "Mine! Because I shouldn't have come in the first damn place!"

  And before everyone present, Betty shot up from the bench, heading for the door. Lacy couldn't believe it. "Oh no way!" She gasped.

  Ella and Andrew looked up stunned, not sure what to do, they both looked at Lacy and then towards Jake, Shawn and Dennis, who was looking their way, wondering what was happening.

  Lacy finally came to her feet, embarrassed and walking fast, tried to catch up with her mother.

  Gert looked at Bart and then at her sons.

  Jake stood wondering what to do, and hoped that Vivian wouldn't be upset if her mother didn't return, but he wasn't about to head off after her, she didn't like him anyway.

  Outside the church, "Mama! Mama would you stop! Don't do this mama! Why would you wanna ruin Vivian's wedding this way?"

  Betty stopped and turned to her daughter, "Look! You and your daddy stay here if you want to, I'm going! Ain't no since in me sitting up here like I support all this bullshit anyway! They done piss me off! Putting on that big ass show, once again, trying to prove how much better they are than us! Horses and carriages and shit! Please! Who the hell they think they foolin'!"

  "Mama this is about Vivian! This and all they did, was for her! How could you even consider ruining this for her?! Why aren't you proud? I am, I thought it was beautiful, every thing about it - just beautiful and whether you like that it all came from the white family she's marrying into or not, she deserves it!"

  "Yeah! And you got your ass up in that white church, eye-balling the other honky, hoping you get the same - right!? Yeah, em hm - bye!"

  "So you just gonna leave me and daddy, Cory here?"

  "White folks'll get you home! They can't wait to prove how accommodating they are, over us!" Saying not another word, Betty found their car, climbed in, started and pulled out.

  Lacy stood in disbelief.

  Taking a deep breath, she walked back through the front door, shoulders square, and back to her seat with all family eyes from both sides on her. Soon as she sat down, Ella leaned towards her, "Where's mama?!"

  "She left." Lacy whispered.

  "She gone be back?"

  "I don't think so Ella, knowing mama, we liable to get back to the bed and breakfast and she'll be gone from there too, back to Chicago."

  "So what we gone do?"

  Lacy looked at her, and then at her silent husband, "Don't you have anything to say Andrew, ever?"

  He only shrugged.

  She sighed long and deep, leaning towards Ella, "You do whatever you wanna do, I'm staying here and watching my sister get married."

  "But mama left."

  "So - what! She's a grown woman."

  "Well we should go-..."

  Again Lacy leaned towards Ella, "Shut - up - Ella! Stay or go, but shut up!" While she had to bite her tongue with her mother, Ella was another matter. Once more she sat back, looking forward, and knew that it was close to the ceremony starting and looked at Jake, smiling to reassure him, and then stood and rushed to the back of the church and down the stairs, looking for her father and Vivian.

  Jake looked at Shawn and Dennis, "Think she'll be back?" He asked Dennis.

  "Ms Cooke? I wouldn't bet on it, too much pride. She ain't hardly gone walk out and then walk back in."

  "Oh hell - now what?"

  "You gettin' married, that's what - just leave her to herself." Dennis answered.

  "She left - in my car?" Milton asked in disbelief.

  "Yep, gone, and I pray, she doesn't leave us here entirely and head back to Chicago."

  "Oh I ain't worried about that, I know doggone well she ain't gone pull no shit like that!"

  "Don't cuss in the church daddy." Vivian corrected him gently.

  "It's okay, Lord ain't here on Saturday, he got too much shit else to do."

  Sheila choked back a laugh, looking at Sylvia and Crystal.

  Shanna's eyes was on Vivian, "You okay?"

  Vivian squared her shoulders, "Please, I'm fine, I can't believe she came in the first place, she by any chance, take Ella with her?"

  "Behave - Vivian Cooke - behave." Her father corrected her.

  The music started.

  Everyone grinned, with Lacy startled, "I gotta go, music starting, love you lil'sis - you beautiful, knock'em dead!"

  She rushed, with mincing little high heeled trotting steps back through double doors of the church, down the center aisle, catching Alec's eyes as she went, scrunched up her nose at him and made her way back to her seat, exhaling and then, looking to her son, put her arm around him pulling him close.

  "So mama ain't coming back then?" Ella asked again.

  Finally Andrew made a face, looked at her, "Baby, won't you shut up, just for a while."

  Shawn moved down one side of the church to catch them all coming in with the camcorder and Ben on the other side with his camera.

  First to come out were the bridesmaids, Shanna, Crystal and then Sheila, followed by Sasha, next came Joseph with the rings, after a space, Sylvia came slowly forward and finally Angela, dropping petals as she strolled slowly behind Sylvia. Once all made it to the front, the music changed; everyone stood - Jake took a long cleansing breath.

  Finally, Vivian on her father's arm, slowly came forward, marching in time to the oldest ceremonial music ever played.

  When all saw her gown, they gasped and clapped, more so Dean than anyone, he even gave a hoot, unable to hold himself back. With it so large, flowing behind her, white and splendid, with her tiny slender figure within, skin so dark, the contrast and look of her took many viewing by surprise, even though they'd seen her around.

  Dennis noticed that beside him, Jake was breathing deep, inhaling and exhaling rather audibly.

  "You okay man? You breathing too hard, don't fool around hyperventilate and faint." Dennis cautioned him.

  "I'm hot! I'm hot!" Jake was feeling sweaty.

  "Hang on man, hang on." Dennis started looking towards Gert, nodding his head towards Jake, mouthing low, "He hot!"

  "Is the air on?" Jake asked, feeling sweat trickle down his brow.

  Dennis looked up at the preacher, "Aye - aye m'man, is the air on? We gettin' hot man, the groom gettin' hot." Dennis eyes were wide, trying to press the urgency of the moment.

  "The air is on." Rev. Hamilton whispered, and then grinned, "Jake..." He whispered, "Slow your breathing down..."

  "I'm hot, I can't breathe." He gasped.

  "Aaah man, come on man..."

  Mundo started peering with more focus on Jake from his seat next to Paul and elbowed him, "Aye, is it me, or is m'man 'bout to faint?"

  Paul was sitting next to Marcus, leaning forward, he stared with his eyes wide, "Uncle Derrick, is he gonna faint?"

  Derrick sat forward, ready to spring forward just in case he had to pick his little brother up, even so, he couldn't help grinning about it.

  Vivian's eyes grew big as well, "Daddy..."

  "I see'im - I hope somebody catch'im."

  They weren't the only ones to notice his behavior, his twitching, wobbling, he reached up and loosened his collar, panting, making grunt and choke noises, Dennis eyes filled with tears fighting with all his power not to laugh, "Come on man, you can do it - Jake - it'll be over before you know it."

  "I'm all right, I just can't breathe - I'm burning up Dennis."

  Vivian and her father reached the front of the church before Jake, and the look of him made Vivian feel sorry for him, "Baby ... breathe, suck in a real deep breath, you can do it."

  Someone out among the many guest called out, "Breathe Jake, breathe!" and someone else, "I knew it, he's going down..."

  "Baby if you don't breathe you gone pass out, n
ow stop it and breathe!" She scolded, trying to whisper it.

  "Ek em emp - oooh, I'm hot." He stated through weird noises.

  Vivian started fanning him, "Fan'im Dennis, fan'im!"

  "How? I ain't got nothing to fan'im with!"

  Sylvia stood gaping of course as well, and then looked towards Shawn, who was taping it all and laughing, of all things, moving towards him, he shouted to him, "Suck it up and take it like a man!"

  The look Jake shot him, was enough for Shawn to read it well - he laughed even more, "Can't say that in church!"

  "Shawn, stop teasing him, he's struggling." Sylvia actually felt sorry for him, she knew how he felt.

  Shawn made a face at her, "He's just stalling, quite puttin' it on, ya'wuss!"

  "Shawn! Leave your brother alone!" Gert called to him, and then to Jake, "You turn around there, right now and say your vows Jacob Patrick!"

  Reverend Hamilton shook his head in acceptance, chuckling he thought, "Ohhh God, why me?"

  "Jake! Pull yourself together, or I'm outa here!" Vivian threatened, there were a few laughing and she'd had enough.

  "Come on Jake, it's not so bad!" Someone called out to him again.

  "Fine! That's it!" Vivian grabbed up her gown to turn away and march off, when he rushed up behind her, grabbing her to him, "Wait, wait - okay, I'm gonna do this, I swear baby, I'm gonna do it, give me just a minute." He pleaded, feeling overheated.

  "Minute my foot, you've had weeks, months! Let go of me!" She hissed up at him.

  Jake grabbed her up, still sweating, trying to get control of his racing heart, and walked her back before the reverend, huffing, puffing, blowing - "I'm ready, let's do this..." He spurned the preacher on, looking to Milton, "Sir, forgive me, I'm just hot, hearts beating fast."

  Milton was smiling, "Jake, let me tell you - I run off twice 'fore I did it, I can't say nothing! Just try and - breathe - not so deep, just breathe."

  Vivian was mad, arms crossed over her breasts, everyone telling her to turn around and go with it, it would be over in no time.

  Lacy sat with her hand over her mouth, feeling bad for her sister, but seeing the humor in it at the same time, she couldn't help it, she glanced back at Alec, he smiled, shrugged with his hands in the air - another man who could relate, that was a mighty big step.

  Jake finally took a deep breath, opened his jacket and tie and raised his hand in the air, "Everyone, HUSH! Please..." Everyone quieted down, he looked up at Rev. Hamilton, "Please - do it - let's do it please - I love her," He looked at Vivian, "Don't be mad, I'm sorry - I love you, I do, with all my heart, I just had-..."

  "A panic attack..." she finished for him, "...maybe that's a sign." She stated, on the verge of tears.

  "A sign that I'm a fool, please - forgive me - I'm ready, before God and all, I'm ready." Jake pleaded, feeling dizzy - he couldn't believe how it suddenly came on him, but looking up, seeing her walk towards him with that gown on, so beautiful - his life literally flashed before his eyes, with all the things he knew this step meant; including that part where he remembered saying, she was too good for him - and something in him felt it was true, if was put up or shut up time and he panicked and broke out in a cold sweat - it was do or die - either way, he couldn't go back now, they were as good as married anyway - this was just a little procedure that would take them that extra step in making it official.

  "Please honey, please? What, you want me on my knees?" He asked, willing to get on them, in fact, they felt so weak, wouldn't take much to bring him to his knees.

  Her hesitation brought him down to one knee, his arm around her waist, hand to her back bringing her closer to him ... everyone watching whooped, whistled and shouted, "There you go Jake!"

  "Get up, you don't have to do this!" Vivian tried to pull him up.

  "Yes I do, I'm sorry baby, forgive me, I'm ready now, I swear to you I am, I just needed to calm down a bit."

  "Okaaay, okay, get up now."

  He looked up at Dennis, and whispered, "Help me up."

  Dennis was grinning a mile a minute when her father and him had to bring Jake back to his feet.

  Standing he exhaled, "Wooo Lord, I'm just a little bit dizzy, but I'm ready - think I just drank too much last night." He explained.

  Rev. Hamilton asked, "You're certain you're ready."

  "Yes, come on, no more stalling."

  Smiling, he took a deep breath, looked out over the audience, trying not to laugh, he'd known Jacob Patrick since he was a little boy, for him to be any other way, just wouldn't be Jake.

  "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today...."

  Later on, at the reception...

  Crystal stood aside, noticing how everyone was having an absolute ball. They were laughing and joking at Jake's expense - but he didn't mind, he was busy hanging onto Vivian, his actions to make up for embarrassing her at the altar. She'd changed from her wedding gown back into the one she wore earlier on the way to the church. It was a beautiful gown, one that could have been worn to marry in.

  They had a delicious catered in banquet, a glorious cake.

  They'd had the first dance, with other's later joining in.

  They'd cut the cake and had more pictures taken, Shawn - taking them.

  She looked around for Ben to be filming it, but he wasn't there, instead, Paul was carrying the camcorder.

  She saw Kevin across the room, every now and then, he'd look her way, and she'd look his, not offering a smile - right then, she wished she'd never spoken to him that night, that night so long ago that his words, sent her back in a panic. She looked away from him, unable to bare the sight of him for some reason. She saw Ben's mother there, she also looked her way, and smiled at her, waving. She smiled back and waved.

  Everything was happening in a whirl for her, even a blur. She wanted to find Ben, but no matter where she looked, how long she waited, he wasn't showing up, "Where are you?" She asked in a soft whisper. Come what may, she would confront him tonight, but she couldn't find him. Then Jake took out his guitar and started playing it, he sang the song, 'Time in a bottle' to Vivian - she cried, her sister Lacy had tears in her eyes, even her mother was choked up and looking at Shawn.

  All taken away by it, locked in love.

  Where was Ben?

  The reception had been going for a little more than an hour now, something wasn't right, finally, she went to her brother on stage, "Mundo, where's Ben?" She couldn't fight it anymore, she couldn't wait anymore, she had to know.

  "Gone."

  "Gone? Gone where?"

  "I'm thinking, a couple of hours, he should be in Chicago."

  "Chicago? Why, what's he doing in Chicago?"

  "You don't know?"

  "No, know what?"

  "He headin' out in the morning, I told him not to go, but - look sis, I love you, you know I do, but - you broke my man's heart, for real you did, I ain't never seen a broken heart like that before."

  "What was I supposed to do Mundo?" She was almost pleading with him.

  "Leave me out, leave me out - let's face it, you didn't have to go back to him sis, you didn't have to."

  "That's easy for you to say, you're not me!"

  "Look, drop it okay? Just drop it."

  "No, tell me where Ben's going?"

  "He leaving for California, to stay, to live - for how long, I don't know - but there it is."

  Crystal couldn't believe it, 'California? Nooo Ben, God, why are you doing this to me?' Her mind pleaded as she stood beside her brother, watching everyone having a good time, while she felt like shit. She turned from Mundo, holding her gown up, she went down the few stairs and took off outside beside her car. Pulling the pins from her hair, she stood with her heart pounding, trying to make up her mind what she would do. Jumping into her car, she drove back to her parents home, rushed inside, taking off her gown and put on a pair of jeans, a green top, brushing her hair with brisk strokes she pulled it back and put a French braid down the back.

  For once
, she wasn't going to think, not about tomorrow, just about now, and right now - she couldn't breathe, and the only way for her to be able to breathe again, was to find Ben. Moving quickly, she left her parents home, jumped into her car and hit the road. Driving down the highway heading for Chicago, heading for where she knew she'd find Ben.

  "I'm so sorry God, I'm so sorry, I love him, I do, I just - I just dooo, I'm only human, I'm only human." She felt like weeping, and swiped at her cheeks and put the pedal to the metal and prayed she not be stopped - fighting with herself to keep to the speed limit, but she had to get to him, she just had to.

  Ben came into the apartment with some of his things, his bags and a brown paper bag holding two large bottles of beer; setting them down, he didn't wait - he walked to the kitchen counter, took one quart of Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull from the bag and opened it, turning it up. When he walked into the liquor store in Chicago, down from his dads apartment, he had asked for something that would numb him, the guy behind the counter, stared dumbly at him, then looked towards the freezer, "Get you a bull man and chill." He'd advised.

  Ben had walked to the refrigerator, saw the bull, and grabbed two.

  Taking it from his mouth, he wiped the back of his hand across it and belched, took a deep breath and set it down, putting the other one in the refrigerator and went back outside bringing in more of his things. He drank, because he didn't want to be able to get back on the road again. He didn't want to change his mind and head back to Wisconsin, back to the reception, back to look at her.

  He wanted to remain there, drink himself into an oblivion, pass-out, wake up, shower, dress and head for the airport.