BOMAW 12-14

by Mercedes Keyes

  Shawn nodded, cracked a smile and leaned down kissing her this time - but with more force and possession, a kiss filled with passion and dominance, things started heating up between them. Shawn broke the kiss - close enough to deliver more when he asked softly, "Where's everybody at?" - that was a clear invitation for a little romp in the sheets.

  "Angela and Sasha - in her room, Mama Jojo taking a nap - don't know about the rest?"

  "Should we risk it?" He dared to ask.

  Sylvia burst into laughter, pushing him off, "We'd be busted in no time flat - just ain't worth it. Besides I have appetizers to arrange." She was up from the bed with a bit of heave ho, with Shawn following her lead. "Need any help?" He offered.

  "Cooking?"

  "Yeah, sure - you know I don't mind."

  Sylva smiled, it had been a strained few weeks - this make up was nice and so was his offer, "Sure - I'd like that."

  Following his wife out of their bedroom, to the upstairs wide landing and then to the top of the stairs he sped ahead of her to get in front, asking, "So uh, just curious - when do you plan to start on our son's room? You know, the nursery?" He looked back over his shoulder for the answer.

  "I'm trying to make up my mind on the color, I don't really want to do blue - I'm working towards doing his room in yellow and-..."

  "Whooooa whoa whoa whoa... yellow? Yellow what? Like, yellow towels and sheets? Yellow blankets? Why yellow?" They slowly made their way down, speaking in polite conversation.

  "No... well maybe, but painting the walls yellow is what I'm talking about - have to do walls and carpet and I need to get the colors right."

  "Anything but yellow." He remarked, serious - but trying to pretend he wasn't serious.

  "What's wrong with yellow?" She asked sensing an oncoming issue.

  "What's wrong with blue?"

  "Everybody does blue for a boy, I don't wanna do blue."

  "Hey, not everybody's done blue for boys - because there are a few confused - thank you, because somebody thought to paint their room - well - yellow."

  Sylvia stopped at the bottom of the stairs, hands went to her hips, "Shawn Everett McPherson, tell me you're not talking about gay?"

  He stopped to defend himself, "I'm just saying, something happened - hey maybe it wasn't the yellow, but it helps to clear the confusion when a boys room is blue."

  "Shawn you think you can block your son from being gay? Painting the wrong colors for his room is not going to make a difference."

  Shawn sighed, "Can we go do the appetizers? Times awasting."

  Sylvia was trying to keep from grinning at his crazy reasoning and the fact that he was having fears of his son possibly becoming gay if she painted his room yellow. She was on the verge of laughing at him by the time they reached the kitchen and started working on the appetizers together. She handed him things she wanted chopped up, everytime she passed him something out of the refrigerator, she'd be fighting off laughter.

  "What's so funny?" He asked, laying down the red, green and yellow peppers, reaching for other veggies passed his way.

  Sylvia discarded his question and asked her own, "What would you do Shawn?"

  He played dumb and asked, "Do about what?"

  She closed the fridge, leaning on the door asked, "What if our son, Jesse James were gay?"

  "Not gonna happen."

  "You have no way of knowing that."

  "Look - this family, from this line of men, we don't do gay - we might be guilty of other shit, but we don't do gay, no - nope, nada - no chance, forget that."

  "This might be the first time."

  "Look, you want me to help you here or not? Less gab, more chopping - let's go."

  Sylvia ignored his sometimes bossy nature and walked past to do her thing, and doing so she just could not let it drop. "What if he were gay, how would you handle it?"

  She waited for him to answer, he kept slicing and dicing his fresh veggies.

  She waited a few more moments until she was positive he was avoiding the question, "Shawn? I asked you a question - what if Jesse James, our son was gay?"

  "I don't want the room yellow, okay? Is that too much to ask?"

  "Emmm, I see - not going to answer that question huh? Okay, well I need to go on record as saying that if our son is, I won't like it either, but I won't be one of those parents disowning him because of it. He'll still be our son, come what may." She turned back to the counter and quietly put her focus on doing the appetizers.

  When she turned back, he'd stopped chopping and was standing with his back to the counter, arms across high on his chest, staring at her. Her eyes went from his to leaning sideways to see if he was done chopping.

  Yes, done.

  Collecting his handy work, Sylvia filled a bowl with it as she went on waiting for him to say something. It took some time with him standing fighting with the things haunting him before he finally spit it out.

  "I don't want my son to be gay, I don't think..." he looked at the floor, appearing to be disappointed in himself for admitting it, "... I don't think I would handle it - well, knowing that. I don't know what I would feel if faced with that discovery."

  Sylvia stood - the one staring now, trying to see forward to the possibility. "Could you disown him? Deny him, reject him? Especially if a time came that he really needed you - his father? Would you turn your back on him?"

  They stared at each other across the space that separated them, hazel blue eyes gazing into dark obsidian eyes.

  Finally, "I don't know..." Shawn stood from the counter and headed for his office, repeating as he went, "I just don't know about that..."

  Sylvia stood surprised. She knew he struggled with Vivian's friend Dean, but he was not their son. She left him alone for a bit, things working around in her head. When she was completely done with all she would contribute, she went to his office, standing in the open door, transfixed on him from across the room. He was on his computer, looking at something, because he was clicking and rolling his mouse wheel.

  "I just want to say this on the matter and then I'll let it drop. Okay?" She asked for permission, not that she really needed it.

  "Okay." His eyes remained on his computer screen, but he was listening, she knew that he was.

  "Sometimes, not always... but sometimes, the very things we fear the most, end up in your family. It's almost as if, fear - is the magnet that draws what is most dreaded. I'd work on that fear if I were you." She turned out of the doorway and headed back to setting things up.

  Shawn sat looking at various nursery ideas, listening to the sounds of his household, his eyes rolling up over the top of the flat screen monitor now and then as the door bell rang, Crystal had arrived with the kids, Mundo was back as well. The house volume was starting to escalate, but he remained where he was. He imagined that Sylvia would probably asked Mundo and Crystal the same things, he wondered what would their answers be? He sat then wondering,'Would she asked everyone that arrived tonight, what if?' His face scrunched up a bit and then shouting her name, "SYLVIA!" As loud as he called her, he knew she heard.

  Sure enough she popped into his doorway, "What? What are you yelling about?"

  "Come here."

  "What?"

  "Come - over - here."

  She did a hip dip, the slanting of her head with brows raised, "Excuse me? What's the magic word?"

  "Please... come here, please?"

  She made her way to the desk, leaning against it and with guarded eyes, asked, "Yes?"

  "Can you please not run that question by everyone that shows up tonight? Please - don't?"

  "Why not?"

  "I knew it! You asked Mundo and Crystal didn't you?"

  "And if I did?"

  "Can you not do that? Please, really - can we keep this one between us, just you and I, please? I don't want the whole family making decisions concerning our children and about our lives - I mean it's none of their business right?"

  "Em hm, you just don't want them to know
how very homophobic you are."

  "So shoot me, okay? Draw and quarter me if you want, but - keep it between us? Okay? Please?"

  "All right, you don't have to plead. I won't bring it up."

  Shawn sighed, "What did Crystal and Mundo say?"

  "I thought we were going to drop it?"

  "You can't resist can you? You must find even the tiniest way to get me somehow."

  "Crystal could care less, and Mundo made a face and shrugged."

  "So he's on my side in other words?" Shawn smiled.

  "He made a face and shrugged, that's not an answer - so it's not about whose side he's on."

  "He's on my side."

  "You know what, I'm going to go back out and see to Mama Jojo's dinner - I refuse to stand in here with you until this turns into an argument. I've had my say, I won't bring it up to anyone else - the subject is closed." She turned and strode off to do just that.

  Shawn sat thinking over her words, looking at the screen, when she turned back into the office at the door, "I lied - I do have one more thing to say about it... you - get to do the nursery! I'm out of it. Besides, I feel that I've done my part, I will have carried him for 9 or more months, I'm not going to stress over his nursery... I'll let you do that. Now... the subject is closed."

  "Hang on a minute here, decorating is what women do." He stood following her back into the kitchen where the kids were gathered, setting out what they brought from the store. Their kitchen was massive and connected to the family room, in fact the kitchen and family room was all in one massive space. There was a hall to the left of the kitchen area that led to the backstairs, basement door, Shawn's study, Mama Jojo's room and the living-room. A hall to the right that led to the large walk in pantry and down from it, the downstairs bathroom, laundry-room, foyer, living-room, wide front stairs and the frontdoor.

  "I'm not doing it, you're doing it."

  Mundo and Crystal stood watching them, "What dad doing?" Mundo asked.

  "He's volunteered to decorate the nursery - because he doesn't like my ideas on it, so he's going to do it."

  "Hang on a minute here," Shawn tooted his horn, hands in the air calling all to his attention, "I work, I'm the breadwinner here, I roll out the dosh, the least that you could do is take it and make our home the way you want it."

  Sylvia turned back to him, hand on counter, "This is an even better deal, I will decorate the entirety of this house leaving you just one room, the nursery. Oh, and you did your man's room didn't you? And your study, so in all fairness I'll take the several other rooms while you get just that one more, your Jesse Jame's room. If you don't do it, it will not get done - and by the way, you don't have long to get at it, just two months - don't lollygag."

  "Okay fine, I'll do it, ontop of my studio work, PenTab work, other things I have going on, I'll get my son's room done, because I'm that kind of guy, don't worry... be happy."

  "I am... I'm not worried about a thang!"

  "And - once it's done, no coming in there knit-picking it - because I know you - there's going to be something you won't like about it, but tough - I'm doing it - by order of you. And it will be done on time."

  "Did you hear me, I'm not stressing about it. I'm content to put him in a crib at the end of the bed, it was good enough way back in the day, it'll work when he's born if that room is not ready."

  "Oh it'll be ready all right, and it'll be the best decorated nursery ever! When done, I'll take pictures of it, hell - might get another job - decorating nurseries!" Shawn declared.

  "Naw dad - come on man, let's not get carried away, you'on want no job like that - that's gay - we-..."

  Sylvia exploded into laughter, slapping the counter top, she turned back to Shawn, eyes filled with tears from her laughter, "Like I said... what if?" She winked.

  For that, Shawn turned to Mundo, pointing at him, "You're helping me."

  "Ah dawg, come'on man, what I say? Why ya'll got to drag me in it, punish me? Come on ma-a-an."

  "You heard me, that's that - you're helping me decorate your little brother's room. Project JJ's room, begins immediately after the dinner for Mama Jojo's."

  Mundo wilted and then straightened up, eye-balling first his mother and then Shawn, "Ya'll need to stop all this arguing, everytime you do, I get dragged in, punished like it was my fault. Gotta decorate JJ's room..." Mundo grumbled a bit and then giving it some thought, smiled as his eyes got big and bright, "A'yup, I'm in - cool - got some ideas - we should redo his crib to look like a mixing table - give it a club theme, yeah - bet ain't nobody done that yet?" He nodded, smiling wide, winking.

  "Boy you need to stop talking crazy, ain't no way!" Crystal corrected him.

  "Hey, ain't got nothing to do with you - my dad asked me for help, not you - you got your own lil'nursery to decorate again. You pro'ly gone end up wantin' us to do yours."

  "Not!" She replied without hesitation.

  Shawn disappeared back into his study with Mundo following him in closing the door.

  "Child don't pay him no attention..." Sylvia spoke up and asked, "...where's Victor?"

  "His father invited us over tonight, but I had to back out because I wanted to be here for Mama Jojo's dinner."

  Sylvia went quiet just long enough to make her daughter look up, "What?" Crystal could tell that something was up.

  "Is everything okay, between you two?"

  "Emmm, not quite like it used to be, but then, that's when he had the upperhand and I was kissing ass, now-..."

  "You have the upperhand and he's kissing ass?" Sylvia already knew the answer, but the question had to be asked anyway.

  "I'm just moody lately, feeling iffy - a bit of - how can I say this? Feeling like Clark Gable in Gone With the Wind, "Frankly my dear Scarlet, I don't give a damn!" - I'm right about there at this particular moment and time."

  "I see..." Sylvia sighed and remained silent.

  "Anything else you wanna ask me mama?"

  "Nope... what's there to say? We've pretty much discussed it all, have we not?"

  "Yeah, I guess so."

  "In case it hasn't all been said, and there's something you need to share, I'm all ears. No matter what it is, I'm here - I just want you to be happy - but the key to that lies in your hands."

  Crystal walked to the double doors looking out at the gardens, she could hear the boys upstairs making a racket, but Angela had them. She glanced back over her shoulder at her mother, who was watching her, as if waiting for something, she gave it to her. "I'm in love with Ben. I think about him every moment of the day. And it's making it hard to work things out with Victor. I - I have to work it out, we have another baby on the way." She glanced away for a moment, and then looking back, admitted, "...everything you tried to tell me, that you warned me not to do, I did... I fell - and I'm stuck, and I hate it..." She swiped at the tears that were about to fall, "... he's gone and I - I miss him so much sometimes that it's hard to breathe, and I'm pregnant again, with Victor's child."

  Tears gathered in Sylvia's eyes because she hated seeing her daughter in this one. She knew how hard it was to make wise decisions once the heart was involved. She'd said it before, Shawn had said it, but she needed to say it again, "That apartment upstairs is yours. When enough is enough, you'll know - use the key you were given and come home, babies and all... come home."

  Looking out the doors again, Crystal nodded her head that she understood saying in conclusion, "I'm gonna give it until after the baby is born, if I still can't get Ben out of my heart and find the feelings I once had for Victor, I'll leave it alone, I'll come home..." She turned back to her mother, "Okay?"

  Sylvia nodded smiling, "Okay." She wanted to say so much more, like 'Leave him now! If you love Ben, his absence is only going to make your heart grow fonder.' But there was a baby - she'd made the choice of having another with Victor, so for now, Sylvia supposed she should ride this train to the end, but she knew there would be an end, because once the heart changes course, it's hell bringing it
back in line - no matter how determined one can be in their decision. Looking at her own circumstances, Sylvia knew first hand - she had been determined to be alone for a while, but once her heart went to Shawn, everything else she'd planned fell weak and dead by the wayside.

  Derrick and family showed up, all the racket woke Mama Jojo.

  She showered, dressed in one of her new outfits, and fixed her new, grey streaked wig on her head, laughing at herself in the mirror. Looking around her new room, which was big, comfortable and filled with everything she needed - she couldn't think of a time when she'd been more happy and felt so welcome. She had a new lease on life, she even had a computer. Angela was giving her lessons everyday on how to use it - Mama Jojo couldn't believe all the things going on nowadays, that you could sit at one of these things and see all kinds of different places, meet people and shop online too. She had an email address now and everything, she wasn't sure who would write to her to it, but she had it just in case. So far, Angela taught her how to go on the internet and use google to look for things she was interested in, she couldn't wait to get on and surf some more. But for now, there was a dinner party thrown in her honor and although she wouldn't admit it to anyone, it felt good to be apart of Shawn's family, to be included the way he pulled her in and wouldn't hear of her being anywhere else - he'd been trying to get her with him for years and now, she was glad that she'd agreed.

  Mama Jojo felt so good, she even put on some lipstick, some new color Sylvia bought for her saying how perfect it would look on her. She checked her reflection and nodding her head, she liked what she saw. There was a knock at her door.

  "Mama Jojo, you awake?" Angela called to her.

  "Come on in baby, I'm up and ready for the ball." She joked ginning.

  Angela leaned in and followed through with Sasha behind her, both girls at the same time cheered, "Ohhhh you look really cool!"

  "Thanks you, I feel pretty good. Baby get Mama Jojo her new cain over there, my chil'ah have a fit I don't use it." Everyone knew that her child was Shawn.