by Zi'ere
Zi’ereBooks
PRESENTS
I LOVE THIS PAIN
The Novel
BY
ZI’ERE
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by electronic, mechanical or other means, now or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying, and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used factiously, and any resemblances to the actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
©ZI’EREBOOKS
Zi’ere Contact Information:
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Author Tonya S. Franklin FB Page: www.facebook.com/whatsrightfortees
Zi’ere Titles Available:
Love Is Blind
When No One Is Looking
Can’t Let Go
Purple Label Affairs
After The Affair
Honest Investment
In Sickness and In Health
2014 Mitch
What Won’t You Do
Doing What’s Right: Amaya’s Story
Sins of the Church
Diary of a Mad Black Man
Acknowledgments
First, praises have to be given to the highest of the highest; the Alpha and the Omega; the Beginning and the End. His favor is constantly upon me and he is my ever present keeper. Without him I am nothing with him I can be whoever I desire to be according to his will. I never would have guessed in a million years the plan he had for my life. In high school I had my life mapped out…I never thought that I would be in this position. He has given me so much favor, unlimited ideas, and the strength in my heart to get it all done. I am blessed to do something that I love by entertaining total strangers with my sheer imagination. It is truly another one of his great blessings and I am truly humbled.
Special love has to go to my parents, Brenda and Ray. Your continued support means the world to me. I hope I have made you proud. Loving life with Christ is all that you have asked that I do, I love you!
Cheers of appreciation and handclaps have to go to the never ending support of my husband, Christopher Mike Sr. I am so thankful because you don’t understand this author lifestyle but you support me in spite of it consuming all of my free time. I love you to life. You are an awesome man, generous provider, a great father, and an excellent companion. I consider myself a lucky and well-kept wife.
Love and praise have to be given to my children: Jazmine and Christopher Raye Jr- my princess and my prince. Mommy loves you more than life itself. I am so thankful that God gave me two of the most precious gifts a woman can have. I love you both unconditionally and forever will until I take my last breath. To Chrishun and Christopher Mike Jr- you are my sweetheart men. I thank you for loving and accepting me. You both are fine young men and I am grateful to have you in my life. My life wouldn’t be complete without the four of you!
Thanks to my siblings: Tricia, Adrian, Charlene, and Michelle. Thank you so much for your support. I love you!
To my mother-in-law, Katherine Franklin: I’m tearing up on this one….you are an awesome woman. Your love and generosity can’t be duplicated. I pray that God continues to bless you with your heart’s desire and good health for many years to come.
To my family members who are linked to me by Singleton, White Family blood, and those of Franklin and Johnson by marriage/blood- thanks for your support and I love you all.
Now for the easy part! There are so many beautiful people I interact with daily that motivate me, keep me motivated, they make me laugh, and they support me. Without you, I would be insane- please, trust and believe me. There are many specific people who also keep me grounded and teach me 25/8 in this literary game. I have to give a shout out to you all your knowledge is never ending and I appreciate you: Mario Patterson, Dynasty’s Cover Me, Author Treasure Blue, Author David Russell, Author Ulysses Wesley Mays, Monica Jones, Kanika Keeling, Author James Gordon, Author Nyerere Jase, Juanesia Faulks, Author Thestorytellacharlesburgess Page, Laurie Thomas, Author Cole Hart, Write House Publishing, Authoress Redd, Gutta Publications, Author Shatika Turner, Leritha Criss, Denise Henson, Shontavia Bladen, Author Ric Nero, Jane Panella, Author Rasheed Carter, Author Niles Manning, Quidyah Daniels, Ticsco Campbell, Janice McCullough, Selena Williamson, Emmett Jackson II, Author Renee Wycoff, Author Robert Marsh, Author Mimi Bradley, Gamaliel Redcarpetready Walker, Ronnie Pinkey, Rob Floyd, Positive People FB Group, Melody Floyd- Bracy, James Cannon, Fred Littles, Ramon Irby, Pam Smith, and Chole Anderson. Free Dreams Readers FB clubs always keeps me laughing and distracted from writing. - love all of you guys to life! And last but certainly not least: my sisters in the As Sisters club. You are an awesome team of ladies. Thank you for the trust and tell it like it is advice you give. You motivate me and inspire me more than you know! Love you guys!
If I missed anyone, please count it all as love and write your name here ________________________________________! You mean the world to me too!
Special thanks to my cover designer: Dynasty’s Cover Me. Your hands are blessed and I wish you nothing but continued success in whatever your hands touch.
Leggo!
~Zi’ere
Love always is and will always be the answer…..
Dedicated to:
Mrs. Cora S. Singleton
&
Ms. Deloris White
Thank you for all the love you gave when I was in pain,
Rest In Eternal Peace
1
“Dr. Adams, your 11:30 is here.” I speak into the receiver in my best professional voice.
“Thank you Kamille- She needs to be tested, please. I’m shaking the tree on everybody today as you can see.”
Dr. Adams, my boss gives the order.
“No problem, I will see that it’s done.”
I replace receiver to its base.
“Taniha, Doc says Ms. Thompson needs a shakedown.”
I turn in the high back and very comfortable leather office desk chair, towards the direction of my assistant.
I know that I am giving her the bad news, but it’s her job.
“What in the hell is he on today! He knows damn well that she is going to flunk the shit out of this test, hell even I know that!”
Taniha is less than thrilled at having to administer her fifteenth drug screen for this morning.
I can only laugh. No one can hear how we cut up inside of our glass-enclosed office. We talk hella noise to each other but I still take comfort in the fact that I have been promoted to a higher position than she. The way things are set up is I can tell someone else to stand guard to collect a urine specimen, instead of having to actually do it myself.
Yea, I bet you would tell Doc that she’s dirty before the test, just so your ass doesn’t have to play in that pee!
My cell phone suddenly begins to vibrate in my lap. It’s Friday and after this last patient, it’s the start of a long weekend for Dr. Adams and his staff. The good doctor has plans and will only be in for a half a day today. So of course when the cat is away, the mice will play. That’s why I’ve decided to cut all of t
he front end office staff loose as well. I am excited for the break, but not excited about a phone call posing as something hindering my plans of a restful afternoon.
I look down at my phone. It is not a call coming in it’s actually a message that can only be coming from my best friend and cousin, Jai. I unlock the screen to see what the crazy woman wants.
Jai: Be ready at 8- on time please!
Me: I will see what I can do
Jai: Tani already told me ya’ll are leaving early 2day, no excuses Chic
Me: Wtf? When did she do that?
Jai: When I dropped off your lunch- I thought that you were running shit up there? Somebody keepin secrets from the boss?
Me: I’m gone let your ass go out with Tani then!
Jai: I’m sorry
Me: lmao
Me: How many cars?
Jai: 4- u know that & don’t start no shit
Me:
“I think the only thing that this heifer ain’t going to be positive for is the medications that Doc actually does write for her ass! Just trifling!”
Taniha is fussing up a storm, when she returns to her desk. She is now coating her hands with sanitizer and then afterwards, it’s on to the lotion she slathers all over her hands and wrists.
“When did my cousin come up here? And why didn’t you tell me?” I face her in my chair.
I am pissed, but for a totally different reason.
“Damn, my bad. When you were passing out the checks, she came up here and dropped off a plate for you. It’s in the fridge. She also brought your favorite kind of ice cream. I put it in the freezer,” she says as if it’s no biggie.
She then begins to fill out paperwork.
“I’ve been sitting here starving and I had food in the back all morning?”
“I’m sorry Boss, geesh! I know that I don’t get first dibs just because I forgot. I’ll tell you what, just save me your scraps. It smelled good as hell too and it wasn’t even hot.”
“We need to do something- hold on for a sec….Ms. Thompson is ready Doc. She’s positive for Benzo’s, Opiates, THC, Meth and Cocaine-…..about your foul mouth!” I fuss at her, while calling to the back.
I’m also in the process of documenting the patient’s chart on the financial end of her business.
Tani is right. Our patient has been a busy woman.
I can see as I thoroughly read over the results of the test once more, the documentation of a sad situation. She is positive for everything except paint. Sometime in the near future, I will be counseling this woman on the possibilities of her facing life completely drug-free in this very office. I grin at the idea.
Taniha and I begin to get our set up ready for the next business day. It is my front end to run as the office manager and she knows that I like a well- oiled machine. Therefore, we always end the day by getting ready for the next day.
By the time Ms. Thompson is getting her next appointment scheduled, Tani and I both have our purses on our shoulders already. Tani flips the sign, locks the doors, and then hits the lights in the lobby. I grab my plate, leave the ice cream, and am in my car in record breaking time. I make a beeline through the hot city and head straight for the coolness of my beautiful apartment.
2
After a much needed nap, I go to check my mailbox. When I make it back inside I by passed my living room and head to my bedroom. I sit on the edge of my bed opening the various envelopes while trying to collect my thoughts at the same time. I know that I should be getting dressed for the night, but as soon as I spot a special marked envelope I am sidetracked. I have to take a moment to take in my accomplishments.
I, Kamille Foster, am now only four classes away from graduating with a Master’s degree in Social Work. I am going over every detail of the report card that has just come in the mail today, even though I already know my grades. I know I’m not going to be a rich woman with the professional life I have chosen. But the work in itself is going to be the best reward and that’s priceless. I can’t even take my eyes off of the report card. It’s like I’m a kid in the fifth grade. For this semester- I have four solid A’s, which leaves me with a flawless four point zero grade point average.
Yes, this black woman in Chandler, Arizona is definitely making a way for herself. And I’m doing it all on my own. I am working my way through college and living off of whatever is left. I have a full time job as the office manager at the state’s mental health center which also has a private practice within it in my city. Working full time in turn allows me to pay the remaining amount of tuition, my rent, my car note, the utilities, clothing, and food- lawd.
My head starts to spin thinking of all of the bills that my paychecks get around to. By God’s grace and mercy, he makes a way out of no way for me every single month. For a nineteen year old with no help financially or emotionally from her parents, I think that I am doing a damned good job. I have no debt and each of my financial obligations is current in payment. I have no kids and no man in my life. It is often too quiet in my house sometimes and that’s when the loneliness set in. But homework is surely the cure for those blues and I have plenty of it too.
My cell phone begins to ring. By the ringtone, I can decipher that it’s Jai once again. I don’t even answer her call. I let the phone go straight to voicemail, as I rush into the bathroom. She is going to be pissed if I haven’t made some kind of progress towards getting ready by the time she gets to my house. I won’t answer her calls until I’ve picked out my outfit for the night at least. Thirty minutes later, I am standing in front of my closet frowning because my planned outfit isn’t working out. I look at the poor selection of clothes in my huge closet. I don’t really have any banging ‘going out’ clothes because I hardly ever go out. Besides it’s not in my financial reach to drop hundreds of dollars on the latest labels.
I am what my cousin and her friends call a “nerd” and “an old ass acting lady”. Their descriptions are just fine by me. In my opinion one of their asses have a reason to be out celebrating as much as they do anyways. Jai’s friends barely keep a job and have more babies than a small football team. The only time that all four of us really get together is on two types of occasions. One is a night like tonight…after I’ve aced all my exams, my cousin decides and demands that I go out with her crew to celebrate. According to her, I deserve a night to get out and let my hair down, literally. I make a conscious effort to save up for these occasions as well. Then the only other time that I hang out away from my apartment is on Sundays after church.
My big cousin Jai is a professional who’s already pulling in bank from her high power career. But when the clock hits five pm on Friday, she is ready to turn up on site. It’s as if she hasn’t a care in the world on Fridays. She isn’t as flamboyant as the chicks that she hangs out with but she can get ratchet with the best of them. She has grown up with these females, so to her they are her family. It’s a couple of chicks that go by the name of Quanna and Ayaneka. Quanna is my girl that will ride with me to the end. I rock with her the long way. I consider her my cousin we are so close. She is also called NaNa and drives a Pepto Bismol, pink colored Chevy Impala.
It is the most awful looking car that I’ve ever seen. She even has the matching spinning rims on it to match. For some reason, she always chooses to drive cars that you would expect a man to drive instead of a single mother of four. She also wears hot pink weave whenever she feels like it. Holding on to the attitude that everything is all good with it. She has never finished high school but she knows how to hustle better than a man on his grind. Cousin has no job right now and isn’t looking for one either. It will take all of us a minute to remember a time that she has had a clock to punch. One thing my girl does have is an answer to every problem that a woman like me can ever have.
When I left home so young that it was illegal, NaNa took me under her wing. Instead of living with Jai and her family, NaNa set me up to live on my own, just like I wanted. She provided a new name with the matching social secur
ity number, good credit, and a legal age as the only tools that I needed to lease my apartment and buy a car. Legally under my real name and birthdate, I am only nineteen years old by a few months. I have been living in my apartment alone for many years. NaNa lives the life of an illegal Queen Bee. She sees, she wants, and then she gets with little to no time in between. You have to do research as a private eye to know were these ‘things’ come from.
Then there’s Ayaneka or Neka, as we call her. She is the stuck up one in the clique. This chic is hood like NaNa but for some reason she seems to think that she is better than her. No one knows the reason why she hates my guts so much. But I sure can give you plenty of reasons why I don’t care for her. She has nothing but the best labels on her back and feet at all times and her children all get the same attention, which I will give her credit for. Neka is about her business and her business is money. The thing is that there is practically nothing that she won’t do to make money. She also has never held down a job and she is the definition of a classic gold digger. Everything is on front-street with her. Everyone has a right to know from whom she got what and how much it cost.
Every move she makes has an ulterior motive and that is to squeeze money from a turnip if she has a chance. If your man has money and she wants it- she won’t think twice about pushing up on him to get it. Neka gives zero cares about another woman’s marriage or relationship with a man. Neka’s world revolves around her and her children. And for that reason alone, I keep her ass out of my house. Jai only half trusts her in her home, which is crazy to me. Neka will never set foot in NaNa’s home, no matter what is going on even if she is invited. By the way, NaNa would never invite Neka to her castle anyway. And that’s exactly the way that NaNa likes it too. She has been looking for a reason to beat Neka’s ass for the last five years and Jai won’t let her. This I know for sure.
The doorbell rings, pulling me out of my thoughts. I sprint towards the door only in a pair of jeans and my bra. Checking the peephole, I snatch the door open for my cousin to come on inside.