by Zi'ere
I hear heels and calls behind me, so I duck into one of the hospital rooms that I assume is empty. I just need some time to myself to get my head together. I need to call my trusty confidant, like hours ago.
“Well are you just going to stand there or are you going to sit down?” My breathing stops.
The voice is weak but I still recognize it as belonging to my mother, Carla Foster.
“Ma?”
“Yes, Dear?”
“Why are you being nice first of all and secondly, why are you in the hospital? Why didn’t you call me?”
My head is spinning, as I walk over to the hospital bed.
Carla is a small woman but she looks extra frail in the large bed. She is in the same kind of bed that Gavin has been laying in, which seems too small for him.
“Well, the long and short of the story is….I can’t call you when I’m in need. Specifically when I have never been there for you when you were in need.”
She begins to cry.
What in the hell have I done to change my karma? How much can I possibly take today?
“There is no need to cry, Mom. I’ve made the best out of my situation and I actually turned out okay, so no harm no foul. What’s wrong? What are the doctors saying? Your health has declined so fast since the last time that I saw you.”
I sit down in the chair beside her bed.
“I have thyroid cancer, Sweetie. In the midst of all the praying and the rebuking that Pastor did, I wasn’t taking the medicines the doctor prescribed. I truly believed that God was going to cure me.
I won’t say that I was a fool about my decision. I just didn’t believe that I had to do my part too in order for his word to be true. Now I’m in the knowledge that this illness goes far beyond the diagnosis. I’m being punished. I turned my back on my only child because of a man, yet I want for God to spare my life.”
46
She said Cancer and that she hasn’t been taking her medicine.
“The doctors gave me six months to live five months ago. My organs have begun to shut down. It is only a matter of days before my body can no longer take the high doses of pain medications. I’m at peace, Lord knows that I am. I’m ready to stand before the throne and be banished from heaven.”
Tears well up once again.
“Who told you that I was in the hospital anyway? I haven’t said anything to anyone.”
“I’m here because my fiancé was shot today. He’s in surgery right now. I had to step away for a minute. I needed a moment to myself, to get my head clear.”
For some reason, the ugly cry won’t come for Carla.
I am weeping but that is all my emotions will allow.
“Well, while I’m laying here reflecting- I will put him in my prayers. This is the big black man right?”
“Ma?”
“Turns out we do have something in common.”
I giggle.
“I hear that he is a powerful man but he is a gentle giant when it comes to you. Is that true?”
“Yes Ma, he’s a good man but at the end of the day . . . He is still a man.”
“You don’t have to remind me.”
It is now her turn to chuckle.
“I know that you want to get back to your man, so I won’t hold you.”
“No! I’m okay. I don’t think that he’s out of surgery yet anyways.”
“I sent all of my important paperwork to your new house. Jai gave me the address. I hope that doesn’t upset you.”
“No Ma’am, that’s fine. I just wish you would have taken the time out to tell me about this. You have the address, yet you never knocked on the door to tell your only child that you are sick.”
“There was . . . . I mean . . . There is nothing that you can do.”
Carla is nonchalant.
It makes me angry to know that she doesn’t have the mind to fight for her life. She is right . . . If she doesn’t think that her life is worth fighting for or saving, then there is nothing that I can do.
But the part that hurts the most is that she isn’t at all driven with conviction enough to want to fight for her life. To finally be able to form a bond with her only child. She will die, still showing me no love. I stand and kiss her on her fore head.
In a matter of seconds, she’d drifts off to sleep. I’ve been without a mother for a long time. Her presence won’t be missed because as she said, she turned her back on her child to chase after a man.
In my gut, I have the feeling that I’m no better. No, I don’t have a child of my own, yet but I have jumped feet first into a relationship with a complete stranger. I’ve taken his word at face value and chosen a comfortable life over the complete truth.
I need clarity and there is only one person that can fulfill that order- Gavin Brown. I stand at the door watching Carla for a few minutes longer. I am sure the search party is over by now. I am standing in front of the elevator, when Jai and NaNa popped out of the sliding doors.
My girls pull me into the elevator. From floor to floor I give them the entire scoop on Gavin and Carla. We are sitting in the cafeteria, when I get a call saying that Gavin is now back in his room. My trusty sidekicks are down to turn the room inside out again, should Gargamel still be standing guard over my man.
I can’t promise anyone that I won’t be going to jail today. With NaNa on the scene, it is a good thing that we are already at a hospital. Back upstairs, Tiffani is right back in the room, like she hasn’t heard anything that I said before. Before either of us have a chance to address the other, the crowd in the room clears out . . . All except for Mrs. Brown.
47
“The doctor says that they have removed all of the bullets except for one. There is one lodged in his hip and with his interior injuries it is too great of a risk to remove it. His leg is shattered.
They had to replace with steel rods and bolts to make up what he’s lost in bone. It will be a long time before he will be able to walk again. Physical therapy will be his main activity for God only knows how long.”
Lord have mercy.
“There will be a nurse here starting tomorrow morning to teach his caregiver how to clean the dressings on all of his wounds. He’s cut from the breastbone on down to below his navel.
On his leg, he’s cut from the groin down to his ankle. There is a gunshot wound on his butt, wrist, and finger. Now I can take him home with me since you’re just now getting comfortable in your new position at work . . . it’s not a problem.”
“I can understand you wanting to care for him at this time but I think that it’s best if he is in our home. I can take as much time as I need to from work. When it comes to the care that he needs, I will do whatever it is that I have to do.”
“No, Sweetheart! It’s important for a woman to keep her own identity in a relationship. Gavin says that you’ve worked hard to get where you are and I completely understand that,” Emma continues to challenge me.
“I have worked hard . . . You are right. But my employer is very flexible with me, he will….”
“Dear, it’s already settled. He’s coming home with me,” Emma shuts me down in a heartbeat.
I want to fight but I can’t. I have the feeling that my future mother-in-law and I can go back and forth about Gavin’s living arrangements. Spatting with Tiff is one thing but I don’t want to disrespect his mom.
Besides it is a crucial time on my job with the new position, so I have mandatory training and seminars to attend. That is unless I want to put off my position until Gavin gets better . . . If that day will ever even come. Everyone in his life has answers about what to do for him, when it really should be left up to his fiancé instead.
At this point, I am seriously doubting whether or not I truly fit into his life like he promised me that I would. He will have to call me himself for me to come back. There is no time to bounce back from one punch to my gut before someone lands the next one.
I can’t tell who is winning this tug of war on love. My heart is te
lling me to say more or do something more, but my head is telling me to let it all go. Everything done in the dark will eventually come to light. If our home is where he wants to be, when he is able then I’m sure that he will tell them all just that.
I walk over to Gavin’s sleeping body. I kiss him on the lips before I turn and walk out the doors. This time, no one follows me. They’ve gotten the memo that I want to be left alone.
Correction, everyone except Stymy gets the message that I want to be left alone. Pain has a business to run. Even though he is laid up in a hospital bed, decisions still have to be made. Runners need orders and there is money to count, hold, and dispense out. I am on the way to the house when he calls.
“Hello?”
“I know that things are messed up right now but this business is a twenty-four hour thing. I know the day to day, but I can’t exactly get orders from Mr. Doug and Mrs. Emma. So, that is the reason for my phone call.”
“I don’t understand what you are trying to say?”
“Can you meet me at Pain’s house?”
“What house?”
“The frat house.”
“Is it really safe for anyone to be in that house after so much blood has been shed there today?”
“It’s not a good idea, but it is an even better idea that we meet right now, you feel me?”
“Yea sure, I will be there in twenty minutes.”
“Cool.”
“Hey, eh…can you tell me something?”
“Nothing but the truth, Ma.”
“Who is in charge of the girls?”
“That would be you. What happened?”
“I had Tracey talking at me out the side of her neck when I first got to the hospital. Then Tiffani and I had a fight with Pain’s body between us.”
“What did the men do? Fuck! I knew that I should’ve been there when you got there.”
“Ant was a man, he set her straight but I still don’t appreciate how she was tryna say that I was more worried about Pain. She felt that I should’ve been more concerned about the other men in his family that are now deceased or wounded. As for Tiffani, she knows what she’s dealing with now. I’ve got that.”
“Yea, press on the gas and get here quickly,” Stymy is not happy.
I end the call, not prepared for what is to come next.
Without any noise from the radio, I make the drive to Gavin’s bachelor pad, the same spot where Pain almost lost his life. I have never been inside of the house but I have met my man here a few times. The way that he described it, is exactly what it is.
There are so many men around that I don’t feel comfortable going inside. He’s never let me sit outside in the car for more than five minutes anyway. But on this day he isn’t even here to hurry me along and that makes me sad. Two different cleaning crews are here to put the house back to normal.
The Merry Maids are packing up the three vans that all nine of them have arrived in. Then there is a team of men, who are wearing hazmat suits. I assume that they are here to clean up the blood shed on the inside of the home.
One thing that I have to give my man his props for is that his workers are always on top of his shit all day, every day. I don’t know anything about street life, but the administration of any business appreciates when they don’t have to micromanage every little detail.
Gavin has successfully achieved that, just like I have with the people under me on my eight to five.
48
“You’re going to have to come in. Don’t worry, everything is cleaned up now.”
The huge man calls out to me from inside of the door way.
At the same time a professional construction crew pulls up. I see that they have a brand new door to hang on the hinges. The busted up door is now lying on the curb. My stomach is twisted in knots.
“I’m putting this place on the market tomorrow.”
I speed up to catch my new best friend.
“I figured that you would say that. Here’s the lady’s card. Her name is Alice Corbin. She is expecting your call.”
“Thank you. You have been nothing but straight up and on top of things from day one. I can tell why Gavin has you so close to him.”
“We’ve been doing this since we were in diapers. You wouldn’t expect it from looking at me but my mom’s and Emma are best friends. She’s even a small woman like you.”
“Gentle giant is what I always say!”
Stymy laughs, “Pain told me you said that.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, what is your real name? I don’t call Gavin- Pain. It doesn’t feel right calling you anything else.”
“Look, don’t nobody know my government but Sanye.”
“I know!” I smile at him.
“My chick says that you’re good people and that you did have my dude down on his knees, so I guess that you’re alright with me!” He winks at me.
“Come on with it!”
“Broderick Adams.”
“Stop lying!”
“Aww, you out here clowning tonight!”
“I’m just playing, I’m just playing! Nice to meet you Broderick.”
I extend my hand for a shake.
“In front of no one, only me and you Kamille Foster! Nobody can know about this!”
“Yes sir. I’ve got you.”
The laughs are over.
“We need to get to this, so that I can get you out of here. I don’t need that dude busting my balls from ICU!”
“Yea, cause I’m still trying to figure out what I can do with his business stuff.”
“When you accepted that ring, you became second to the throne.”
“The throne of what?”
“The Empire. Tiff’s been trying to get in the business where she can fit in since high school.”
“Got damn cockroach!” I frown.
“That’s what’s up! That’s exactly how I feel about her ass too!”
He puts his fist out for a pound.
RJ has taught me how to fist pound.
“So, ummmmmmmm . . . I know that it doesn’t look like it, but I’m not sure about this,” I admit, as I twist my fingers.
“I’ve got your back. All that I need for you to do is to count, tag, separate, and keep.”
“Say what now?”
“I will bring the money to you. You have to count it and make sure that the number that I have matches the amount that I bring to you. You have to tag each load and label it by squad. Each squad has a name and a location. You will have to separate the cash to pay everybody, me included and then you have to hold on to boss man’s dough.”
“Label it by squad?”
My face has to show concern, just like my voice does.
“Yeah, Pain runs five crews. Each crew’s lieutenant will get their squads envelopes and handle it on their end. I’m the only one that doesn’t have a squad, so I will be the one doing all of the leg work. Pain says that you have hella degrees, so trust me . . . If his ass can do it then you’re good, Ma.”
I laugh.
“And if he asks you and I know he will- I DO NOT CUSS IN FRONT OF YOU, BESIDE YOU, OR NEAR YOU! He wilds out about stuff like that but you’re cool with me though.”
“I got you.”
“Ok then!”
“When do I start with the mathematics?” I am nervous as hell.
Please don’t say today. Please don’t say today. Please don’t say today.
I watch the large figure walk off. He comes back with five duffle bags. Each of them are expensive signature pieces that will make any woman giddy.
“Pay day is Sunday. You have all weekend. My count is written on a piece of paper on the inside of each bag. Pay is decided on money intake but I’ve broken everything down for you already. As long as the numbers match, put the specific amounts in the envelopes. You are the only one that’s not on salary, Ma. You take what you need to do whatever it is that you want.”
“Where in the hell am I supposed to put all this damn
money?”
“I will call who I need to call, I will watch on post for someone to come in your house to do work. I will escort you wherever you need to go but you make the decisions about the money now, Lil Mama.”
He walks off struggling to keep all of the bags in his hands, so he that he won’t have to make two trips.
“WHAT?”
“Until boss man can tell me different, you are the head of the street pharmaceutical sales payroll for over sixty men. Just like you didn’t hesitate with Tiff’s ass today, don’t hesitate with none of these dudes out here. Trust nobody. Be suspect with me. That’s how you stay alive and out of jail. This backpack needs to go with you everywhere that you go!”
He hands a Luis Vuitton backpack to me.
“I don’t care if you are going to the Quik Stop for a stick of gum, this bag or the contents need to be with you.”
I am too scared to even look inside of the bag. I follow him out of the house and on back to my car. Once we make it there, I then hit the button for the trunk. I then watch him as he loads me down.
“I will follow you home. Here is the company phone and it’s synced. So unless Sanye has me on lockdown, I will answer it first. But whenever you need me, call me on this phone from here on out.”
He pushes two different phones into my hands.
“I’m destroying this phone tomorrow, just as soon as I can get to T-Mobile. Pain will have a new phone and number as well.”
“Damn! All of this is so final and just too much, too fast.”
I am completely overwhelmed.
“This is your life now. My boy is putting a lot of trust in you. He vouched for you. We’ve never done this before. Hold this empire down and you will be okay for the rest of your life, Ma.”
49
Standing at the curb where a few thugs have come to take my man’s life away for an almighty dollar is pretty unnerving. I hop behind the wheel and then pull off. I count three cars of security detail as I make my way back home.