by Zi'ere
As soon as the garage door is down and locked from the inside, I steal a peak out of the peephole and I see Stymy’s truck and a Challenger continue on down the road. An all-black, brand new Camaro blends in with the neighborhood and falls back.
I pop the trunk and then unzip one of the bags. It is full of money that smells like the struggle. I zip it up again, with a lot of trouble. Pain has some grinders on his team. I can barely even lift the one bag from out of the trunk.
Now I wish that I had asked for some help to get them into the house. I run into the house to get a full sized towel. Placing two bag on it at a time, I drag them into the office. Then I bunker down in the house and set the alarm.
I fix myself a sandwich, which I scarf down in only a matter of minutes. Then my next action is a shower. In comfy pj’s, I set out about my man’s business. I figure that I might as well get started. The men need to be paid, plus their kids need food and clothing and Pain is counting on me to earn my keep.
No matter how many times that I count it, between the two calculators that I use, the first bag comes up to over seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars. That team has eleven members including their lieutenant.
He is paid twenty thousand dollars and each man under him gets at least six thousand dollars each, some more but none less. I can’t resist doing the math on that part as well. One of the worker bee’s pay is eight thousand dollars just for that week, which comes to thirty- two thousand a month, and over three hundred and eighty thousand dollars a year.
SHIT! AIN’T THIS BOUT A HO’ AND HER PIMP!
I can only shake my head at the magnitude of the man that I am now engaged to. Yes, I’ve come to know that Pain is the man in these streets. I had no idea that his hand stretches out as far as it does, nor that he has so many people behind him.
He even has his brother in laws working with him. Their pay is higher than the lieutenants and so is Stymy’s. These people hold a lot of information on him that can hurt him and do him good at the same time. If Pain is gone, then the family will be in big trouble financially. If the Fed’s break a worker and they turn on Pain, it will be the end.
From what I have seen in the movies about drug dealers, the man on the top lives a good life, while the street dudes hustle for scraps. Pain has his entire empire living well. When payday comes, even the dudes in the streets can pay someone to do their work for them.
I’d never seen anything in the movie where a dude named Dashaun is standing on a corner making eight grand a week! There is no telling how far down the money goes when it makes it to the streets. I am now in control of paying the troops that have purchased my beautiful home, which I will have for the rest of my life. Because of them, so many of us live well and I now have a whole new respect for them.
I know they have long had a respect for Pain, though. I have the feeling that these dudes would rather do the years or meet Satan before they cross a dude like him. After the envelopes have been filled, I have to somehow hide six hundred and fifty thousand dollars of that one bag in my home. The thought alone makes my head spin.
I will have to get some men in here to either put something inside of the walls or either to build something into the floors one. But Broderick told me not to trust anyone. I sit back in the high chair, thinking over my predicament. I then remember the wine cellar down in the basement.
I am sure that I can turn that space into Gavin’s personal vault. At least until he can get someone that he trusts to build a more suitable safe with no questions asked. A piece of paper catches my eye from the bottom of the now empty bag.
It is a note that reads: From each bag Tiff gets two g’s.
This trick gets ten thousand a week in child support? What in the fuck is she at the hospital fighting for then? If she doesn’t sit her ungrateful ass down somewhere!
I want to cut that payment in half. I have the power and there isn’t a damn thing that anyone can do about it. But just as quickly as the thought enters my mind, it leaves. Gavin expects for me to be a grown woman about his business. Plus, I have way more money at my disposal than she will, so there is no reason for me to trip. My man also knows that I won’t be frivolous with his money. I have always shopped out of necessity, not wanting. Gavin knows that for sure.
I decide to break down one more bag before I go to bed. I place the packed and sealed envelopes back into the duffle bag and then I sit it aside. I pull another one that is just as full closer to me. The money from the first bag is banded by rubber bands by the ten thousand and dropped into a pillow case.
I complete the process all over again for a larger group of fifteen. After the second bag, I am yawning and have stiff muscles. I kick the bags into the coat closet in the study and then I lock the door behind me, as I make my way upstairs. My bed is calling me but I am sad that it will be cold and lonely.
I stay inside all weekend. Partly because I am too afraid to take my eyes off of the money that is now in my possession. The other part is because I am too scared to go outside. The book bag that I was given contains three different guns, a stun gun, mace, and handcuffs. To my surprise, there is also a pistol permit to carry in the bag.
The card is the real deal, just like something that NaNa can get official. I notice the picture is one from the birthday party. I realize that this life is not a game. I call Broderick early Saturday morning to come and pick up the pay envelopes for the squad. Even though he doesn’t say that he is impressed, I can tell that he is.
“Oh these mufu’s gonna love you! They getting paid early!”
“Look at everything and make sure that it’s right now. I don’t want anyone upset with me for any reason and especially not for messing up their money.”
“First off Lil Mama, don’t nobody know that you are doing this but me, you, and Pain. We got this shit straight the same day that he proposed to you, should anything ever happen to him. I’m following orders and a chain of commands that has long been set in place.
But check it, I do this thing where I check without you knowing that I’ve checked ya dig? You good ma, I’m saying though- I’m proud of you. Do you need me to do anything before I go?”
“Nah, I was pacing the floors last night but today I have everything situated. I’m good.”
“Here is your new phone. It already has all of the numbers that you need from this side saved in it already. Transfer your other numbers and smash the SIM card to the phone that I gave you last night.”
“I will do that today.”
“Ok then, I gotta scoot on outta here. You sure you good?”
“Yeah.”
“Go to the hospital and see your man and then go shopping. Get yourself something very nice and very expensive, you feel me?”
“Is that the plan for Sanye’s day?”
“That’s a whole other conversation for another day.”
I smile. I like the way that he tries to act as if his woman doesn’t run him, the way that I think that she does.
“For real though, I’m just saying. Don’t turn into a hermit. Get out of the house, don’t be paranoid, but be careful Ma.”
“I was a hermit when I met Pain. I’m cool with staying low key.”
“That kind of quality is hard to find. But, remember people need to see you out. You are the face of your man’s team. You looking fly, while holding him down sends a message that our team is good. If people see you looking thrown off then they will think that the crew is thrown off and we can’t have that.”
“Yes sir, I understand what you’re saying.”
I watch him, as he goes through the garage door.
“Pain has someone different, that shit is looking like a good ass idea to me,” he mumbles, and then he walks on out of the side door.
50
I wonder what he means, but he is on a mission to play Santa in the hood. Looking at his back, I think of Gavin. Since I am done with his business, I need to go back to the hospital. It only takes me an hour to get myself together. A cut
e men’s shirt dress with designer sandals to match is perfect. The nurses at their station start mumbling.
“Girl, there she go! It’s about to go down in here again today!”
“Mmmm . . . . Girl . . . . I’m telling you, of all days for you to be working on another floor, you should’ve been here yesterday!”
“Glad his ass ain’t dead because this shit is too much fun to watch!’
I cut my eyes at the nosey heifers who are posed up. They should be tending to patients instead of being all up in my business.
“Don’t ya’ll have some bed pans that need to be changed? Besides, I know that it is against HIPPA rules for you to be discussing a patient for the entire hospital to hear!”
Nosey tricks!
I make it to Gavin’s door, just in time to hear Tiffani tell him how to get rid of me.
“All you have to do is tell her that you moved too fast without thinking things through. You know . . . Add something in there about not being able to leave your kids fatherless. She has to respect that and you know it.”
I don’t stick around to hear Gavin’s answer. I run. I do the only thing that I know how to do, exist on my own. No matter what Gavin’s answer is to his baby mama, it isn’t my business. I have taken care of my business, like I was expected to.
His left hand has his duffle bags and his workers have been paid for their work from last week. I can safely assume that at the end of this week, Tiff will be in charge. One time was cool with me. I’m not giving up the money that I have in my house though. That isn’t going to happen under any circumstances.
I leave the hospital, just as quick as I had come. I need a change of scenery. I hop on the interstate and then head out of town to the mall. Just thirty minutes into my trip, the business phone starts to ring. It is Broderick.
“Hey, Boss Lady.”
“Don’t call me that, I’m just an accountant.”
“I know that you are wondering why I’m calling.”
“True.”
“It looks like you are going to Tempe . . . To the mall?”
“Yeah- why or actually how do you know that?”
“It’s my job to know these kinds of things. But the thing is . . . You can’t just drive off like that, without me knowing.”
“I’m grown, what in the hell are you talking about?”
“I get all of that. I understand your view on this. But at the end of the day, there are rules now that you didn’t have to follow before. I gotta know where you are every day- every minute and that’s all she wrote.”
“This is scary. I don’t know if I’m the girl to live this kind of life.”
“It’s not as complicated as you think. I just need someone watching over you to keep you safe. Before you freak out for real . . . Some mufu is following you, I’m telling you now and that is on my word.”
“Ok, whatever. Do what you do! This is making my head hurt.”
“I’m listening if you need to vent.”
“Nah. I will handle it with an S on my chest.”
“Aite. Catch you later, Boss.”
A damn bodyguard to go to the damn mall!
I take the next exit off of the interstate. I need a drink. I pull up to the Daiquiri Now drive-thru.
“Can I have a Strawberry-Coloda Daiquiri with an extra shot? Please.”
51
For the following week, I drown myself in my work. I am just as dedicated as I have been before I met Gavin. Doc is pleased with my progress and proud of my test scores for the state certification.
I haven’t gone to the hospital, not one time all week. Broderick brings the bags on Friday morning, as if nothing has happened. He never says anything different, so neither do I. It is Saturday morning, when I get a call from Pain himself. Even from the helpless position in a hospital bed . . . Not even being able to stand on his own, he is still calling shots.
“You have twenty minutes to get here.”
That’s all that he says, before he hangs up in my face.
Here comes all of the bullshit that I can do without. Damn! I told him that I didn’t need all of this from the go! I have transformed all that I am going to be able to do. I won’t lose myself in this man. I don’t care who he is, I’m not a pawn that he can control.
I call Broderick back to the house to pick up the envelopes. While I am waiting for him, I store the remaining cash in the cellar. Even though I have nothing in particular to do today besides rest my tired body.
It takes over two hours for me to make it to the hospital. Of course he doesn’t know it, but staying away from Gavin also gives me the chance to stay away from Carla. I realize that I’m not strong enough to watch her deteriorate before my eyes.
I’m not even going to put myself through such pain. She’s only endured the pains of labor for me and I have been detached since. Detachment is an emotion that I know all too well. Gavin needs to know that.
It should surprise me but it doesn’t, when I see Tiffani holding vigil over Gavin. From what I can see, he is ignoring her but she doesn’t care. Her joy is being there instead of me.
“Aye, tell the kids to call me when they get back from camp tomorrow,” he addresses his baby mama.
“Okay, I will do that.”
She smiles at him but doesn’t move a muscle to get out of the chair.
Her attention goes back to the TV show on the small set, which is mounted on the wall.
“I told you that when Kamille got here that you were going to have to leave.”
“Why do I have to leave? She ain’t nobody!”
“I haven’t changed my mind about what I said, Tip.”
He is stern.
He’s obviously gotten the bass back in his voice in my absence. God only knows what orders he’s given out, while harped up on Morphine.
“Why do I have to leave, just because she’s here? She has been chilling with her new man, all week up in that house!”
“I thought that she wasn’t nobody? What are you worried about what she’s been doing for?”
“I’m just saying, Pain! She hasn’t called or been back since they brought you here but you want to kick me out over her?”
“This isn’t a damn debate! Gone on about your business now, I’m tired of repeating myself!”
I have never seen him so agitated.
“She ain’t even loyal to this life or the family!”
Her voice begins to crack, as if she is going to cry.
I shake my head and then I turn to go back to where I have come from . . . Home. I don’t have time for the dumb stuff.
“Kam! Don’t you walk out that door!”
I stop short and then turn around, with an irritated look on my face.
I have no desire to be in this situation.
“Naw, let her ass do what she does best! That’s all that she’s been doing since you got here. Wannabe face ass.”
All of the chatting that Tiffani does is from her seat on the other side of the room.
She really has no intention of leaving, despite what Pain says because she hasn’t even stood up yet.
“Hoe there is only one wannabe in the room and it damn sho ain’t me! Witcho tired ass!” I am done being nice.
I have never known a female that can or will actually prevent me from going to heaven. Even Neka doesn’t grind my nerves the way that Tiffani tap dances on them. I have never encountered so many haters in my life. My limits are tapped off. Nice Kam has no space to exist.
“She hasn’t been here because she doesn’t want to have to go through the same dumb shit with you, every damn day! I know that it is hard for you to comprehend but some women actually hate drama! They see a bullshit sign and then go the other way!”
“She ain’t all that you think she is! I don’t give a damn what you say!”
“See, that is where you keep fucking up at! You should give a damn about everything that I say. Especially this: Tip- get your ass up and get the fuck on! And don’t come back unless
my kids are with you!”
That order can be heard in the parking lot.
I watch her pick up her Brahmin bag and sashay towards the door. But before she can get out, she shoulder bumps me. I snatch her ponytail of natural hair again in one swift motion, yanking her neck back. She chose to take her braids out, since she now has a patch of missing hair from our last run in.
“I’m sick of your shit! You are asking for another ass whipping that you don’t want, I’m telling you!”
Nice, church going, humble Kamille is gone.
“DAMN! TONY! AYE TONY!”
Gavin is calling out to his makeshift guard at the door.
Only Tony can’t get inside of the room because I still have the leader of the Ghetto Baby Mama Mafia by the hair.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUARDING, IF THEY ARE STANDING BESIDE YO ASS FIGHTIN AND SHIT?”
“I’m sorry Pain! I walked down the hall to stretch my legs!” Tony defends himself.
I let the mouse’s hair go and then I push the back of her head forward. She is pissed that Tony is now standing between us.
“I’m gone catch your half bred ass one day and Pain ain’t gone be able to protect your ass either!” She hollers, as Tony pushes her on out of the door.
52
“Ignore that shit, Baby. I’m sorry, Kamille!”
“No need to apologize for another grown person’s behavior. Especially, since I am not apologizing for anything that I’ve said or done.”
“This shit is so fucked up!”
“Well, how are you feeling?”
I have much attitude.
“I’m not feeling anything right now! I wanna know why you haven’t been here all week? Where you have been?”
“So you’re just gone take her word as the gospel truth, huh?”
“You aren’t telling me any different, so what am I supposed to think?”
“Think what you want but please know that you have fucked yourself and the blame can’t be pointed in my direction.”
“You have the floor- I’m listening to my fiancé.”