The Trilogy of the Void: The Complete Boxed Set

by Peter Meredith

  "I just heard about Lisa bringing that Coast Guardsmen here tonight, are you ok?"

  Will was very nearly drunk at this point and Amy might not have had a face as far as he was concerned. He had stared at her breasts as they made their way slowly up to him and when they heavily, and very warmly, settled themselves on his arm, he breathed a huge sigh. The nipples were engorged and pushed hard at the thin fabric. Will felt himself swell greatly and realizing his sister was there, he shifted in his chair and looked at Amy’s face. She was smiling knowingly and did not mind his stares in the least.

  "I guess so," he allowed.

  "Do you think we can go somewhere and talk privately?" She didn’t wait for a reply, but took hold of his hand and pulled. As he heaved himself up, the room spun around a couple of times and he tripped over Brian’s foot and went crashing down.

  "I see some of you boys have been starting your fun early tonight." Amy went to him but Talitha beat her to Will’s side.

  "I'll take care of him, Amy."

  "Oh, ok. You don’t mind if I talk to Brandon then." She was referring to Brian, who had reached his limit four beers earlier and was currently staring at Amy’s breasts, as a starving man would look at a steak.

  Amy walked over to him and put her hand on his arm. His eyes and his head bobbed in unison as he looked her up and down. Talitha finished helping Will to his feet and then went to Brian just as Amy crossed over to Will.

  "I'll take good care of him. I'll make sure he gets home safely...I do know where he lives after all," Amy said, with a pleasant smile.

  "It’s ok, Tal." Will stood swaying back and forth. "I think I’m done drinking tonight anyway and I could use some fresh air. But first!" he said importantly. "I need to take a leak."

  The trip upstairs made him realize just how drunk he was. After he urinated for what seemed ages, he went to the mirror and splashed cold water on his face until the room stopped spinning around him.

  "There you are!" Amy purred, as he stepped out of the bathroom. She had a very bright smile for him. He tried to concentrate on that and purposely did not look at her breasts. "Come in here." Amy spun him away from the stairs and into a darkened bedroom.

  He tried to push around her but ended up in her arms instead. Her face was an inch from his and with great gentleness she reached up and started to kiss him. He wanted to resist her but a part of him had other ideas and it pushed out as if spring-loaded. Embarrassed, he attempted to pull his hips back but Amy thrust herself against him and he found himself kissing her back, aggressively. Will brought her to the bed and without caring whose it was, lowered her down on it. As they kissed his hands went to her breasts and she moaned softly as he caressed them. He was rock hard now and her hands went to him.

  Something wasn't right. Pulling away from the kiss with a moan of his own he looked down at the girl and saw...Amy.

  Sudden crazy guilt poured over him. "Amy, I…ah…ah…ah," he was having trouble forming words, partly due to the alcohol coursing though his veins and partly because she had not relinquished her hold on him, but was kneading him expertly. "I can’t," he said. Guilt swelled in him but his body wasn't listening and his muscles shuddered uncontrollably down his back.

  "You can. She threw you away like a piece of garbage. You can do whatever you want." Her smile and her eyes and her hands made it nearly impossible to stop, but he had to and he reached down to take her hand off of him. Amy allowed this, but took his hand and placed it on her own thigh. She held his wrist and gently pulled his hand up her leg slowly, slipping it along her warm thigh. The higher his hand went, the warmer her leg felt under his touch.

  He had expected panties but his fingers met no resistance and slipped into her. The heavy cloud of guilt which surrounded him faded to wisps that were blown away by her urgent moans. Any illusion he had of being able to stop himself evaporated with them and his only conscious feeling was a powerful, demanding desire.

  5

  Three hours later the heavy guilt—laced with panic—still kept him from breathing normally.

  When he left Amy he had been tripping over things and knocking into people. It wasn't only all the beer he had consumed that caused this, it was also the realization of what he had just done. If Lisa found out, and she would, there could be no chance at getting her back. It was this realization that had him in a frenzy to get away from Amy.

  He felt a burning shame at his actions and didn't want anyone to see him. Amy was drop dead gorgeous and the very epitome of sexuality yet at the same time she was strangely repulsive and cruel. Will felt terrific guilt about cheating on Lisa, but he also was ashamed of himself.

  He shook his head in disgust and the night spun briefly so he put his hand out to the building next to him for support. In the dark, the white building wasn’t familiar to him, but walking to the front of it, he realized it was the little Catholic Church.

  Will went up to the glass and peeked in just as his father had done the day before. Trying the doors and finding them locked, he sat down on the three short steps to pray. He always felt self-conscious when he prayed simply because he was a little fuzzy on the details surrounding the concept.

  His prayers generally revolved around thanking God for the things he had been blessed with already and asking for guidance with the issues that he faced. He'd prayed a lot in the last week.

  Will frequently wondered if he was even doing it right and there was no one at home he felt he could turn to on the subject. His parents never went to church or prayed as far as Will knew and he got the feeling that Talitha, with all of her science, didn't believe in God at all.

  He had only been to the two churches on the island a handful of times and when he had glanced through the Bibles in the pews, he had been unable to find the chapter on prayers. Lisa had pointed out to him the Lord's Prayer but he didn't really care for it despite its simplicity. It seemed to make demands on God. 'Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our sins...' This did not sit too well with him; it glided up to the edge of his vague notion of blasphemy.

  His favorite prayer said during the church services was the one repeated right before Communion. Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed. To Will this was what religion was all about. Admitting that he was flawed and sinful, yet knowing that with a single word from God he could be healed or made perfect.

  Other than that little tidbit, his perception of Christianity was hazy at best. He wasn't even sure about the relationship between Jesus and God. He had thought that Jesus was the son of God, but the more he attended church the more he got the idea that Jesus was God.

  When he had asked Lisa about this, she wasn't clear on the details either. All her life, she had felt a great emptiness inside her—principally because of her mom—and had wanted to find out if turning to God would help fill it.

  Initially, she had gone by herself thinking religion was something personal, but after two solo attempts, she had asked Will to come along. She had felt lost during the services and painfully lonely. It seemed that everyone around her sat, either in pairs or in families and she felt distinctly isolated.

  Will had never thought about going to church before but wanted to make her happy, so he put on his best suit and went along. Lisa would hold his hand tightly as they sat in the pews and he rarely felt closer to her than at church. While there, he felt he was her family, her only family.

  Now in the dark, sitting on the steps of the church he tried to pray, but found it impossible. His mind was a confusion and the beginnings of a thumping hangover didn't help. The binary stars of his emotions: sadness and madness, had been whirling around each other for the last nine days but now they had a new playmate, probably a permanent one...guilt

  His guilt had not abated a whit, but in fact grew every time he recalled the feel of Amy's hands on him, and his hands on her. This memory kept interrupting his feeble attempts at praying and he had to give up the effort.

  He got up, sta
ggered a moment and then peered into the glass-encased bulletin board and the name "Father Alba" caught his attention.

  "What did Katie say?" he asked the glass. He felt sleepy and a little sick, but a smile came to his lips when the memory finally pushed its way to the front of his brain. "Are you jerking my chain?" What a thing to say to a priest! He loved Katie, partially because the little girl was always good for a laugh, something he had been in a deep need of recently.

  His smile inverted itself when he next thought of Talitha. Shame made a brief appearance on stage, pushing aside his other pathetic emotions. How was he going to look her in the face tomorrow morning? She probably wouldn't say anything either; she would just give him that look of disappointment. He sighed long and heavily; his headache thumped harder.

  The night began to grow cooler—he felt slightly refreshed by it—and thought he could make it home without waking everyone up. Starting back up the Row, his shame was pushed aside by exhaustion and a whiny self-pity. He wondered why Talitha hadn't been there for him. She certainly could have stopped Amy from going upstairs.

  "But then what?" he asked the night. No answer came; the night was quiet and dark, and he felt invisible, which had a great appeal to him. It seemed like he had been under the spotlight of a thousand eyes everywhere he had gone in the last week. He had heard the whispers, had seen the stares, and had tried his best to ignore them. But under the shadow of the trees, there was nothingness and he felt he could think clearly. Talitha wasn't to blame. Even if she had kept Amy from coming up the stairs, what then? Would she have had to babysit him all night?

  A sudden agonizing thought occurred to him... she just might have.

  Next to one of the great oaks, he stopped in the shadows and stared at the ground. He painfully realized he was overly reliant on Talitha. To him, her word was law even more so than that of his parent's. Her advice was so accurate that it carried the weight of gospel in his mind.

  In school any class that he didn't share with her, he aced easily. The ones they were in together, however, were a struggle and he now concluded it was because he never had to study and instead daydreamed his way through them. He had the certain knowledge that Talitha would bail him out of any situation.

  Will started walking up the row again as self-disgust crept over him.

  Was this why he had treated Lisa the way he did? Had he been waiting for his little sister to tell him how to behave in a relationship? She had certainly told him how to dress, what gifts to buy, and where to go on dates, and more—a lot more. Of course, the truth was she'd never told him to do anything, but a suggestion from her was equal to the same thing. His self-disgust edged toward self-loathing. Was he waiting for her to tell him he needed to be a man?

  He decided he was done. He was the big brother; from now on he'd look out for her. "From now on," he said quietly but fiercely to himself.

  "From now on what?" A woman's voice spoke softly from the shadow of the tree closest to Will's house. He jumped back startled and felt a wave of adrenaline shoot through his body. Peering into the shadow, he at first thought it was Amy, and his stomach rolled queasily.

  However, as the woman approached and the moonlight struck her, he saw that it was Mrs. Harris. She wore little more than a short silk kimono and held a large wine glass in her hand. The contents of the glass looked dark and thick.

  The sight of her brought back the guilt; now it was tinged with embarrassment and worry. Thoughts raced through his mind. Did she know what happened tonight between her daughter and him? Had she been waiting out here to tell him off and then go spill everything to his parents? What would his mom say?

  "Uh, it was nothing. I was just talking to myself, is all."

  "That's not a good sign, you know. Talking to yourself at night, in the dark like this." She moved closer to him, and she was slightly unsteady on her feet. Will was shocked to see that her small kimono had not been tied very tightly and that most of her breasts peeked out at the moonlight. She seemed not to care.

  "You're out late, aren't you? Out having a good time?" she asked quietly.

  Had it been another time she might have turned him on, but he had only just told himself to start acting like a man and the only feeling he had for Mrs. Harris was embarrassment for her.

  "No, I was taking a walk." He refused to look at her exposed breasts and instead looked up at the Moon. "It being such a nice night."

  She turned to look up at the moon too. "Yeah it's great," she said it flatly without emotion. Will looked over at her then and she was staring off, literally into space. Her eyes were far away and her face expressionless. Her kimono had opened slightly wider and one of her large brown nipples was peeking out at the moonlight. The glass in her hand was all but forgotten and she held it without concern. The red wine, looking black as the night, dripped onto the bricks of the sidewalk. The resemblance to blood was disconcerting.

  "Yeah, but for how long? Two more nights?"

  What she was saying was lost on him. "Two more nights?"

  Her body gave a tremendous shudder and her kimono opened further, but this time she seemed to realize how uncovered she was and pulled the fabric tight across her breasts.

  "Yes, till the moon is full."

  He glanced up at the mostly-formed orb. The moon bothered him. He felt as though it was spying on him and knew all that he had done. This time it was Will who shuddered and goose bumps broke out down his arms.

  "I have to get going now. Have a nice night."

  "Yes, you too," she paused and it seemed as if she wanted to say something else. Will looked at her and was just about to turn away when she spoke, "Talitha, your sister. Do me a favor and look out for her, will you?"

  "Of course." Will stared at Mrs. Harris. How did she know that he had been just thinking that?

  "I mean she has such a good reputation, being so virtuous. I wish my Amy was that way." The goose bumps reformed themselves on his arms. Did she know then, about tonight, he wondered. Mrs. Harris continued, with a small sigh, "She's a slut, a tramp and everyone knows it. But Talitha. You need to keep Talitha whole and unspoiled. Can you do that? Protect Talitha's reputation before she throws away her greatest gift. Very few girls look back on losing their virginity and say, 'that was a perfect moment.' Mostly it's rushed and sloppy and quickly regretted and once it's gone, there's no getting it back."

  Will was almost speechless. "Yeah sure. I will. Umm, good night." He didn't know what to say. Getting advice on virtue from the mother of the biggest slut he knew felt extremely weird. He turned away as she nodded and waved her hand to him in a dismissive gesture.

  Slipping around the back of the house, Will entered through the kitchen as quietly as possible, hoping to God that everyone was asleep, especially Talitha. The house was cool and dark and other than the distant sound of the boiler roaring away in the basement, it was quiet and still.

  The boiler had been going nonstop for the last day since the repairman had been in, yet the house had never really heated up. It was much better than it had been, but it seemed barely to get above cool. The rooms along the back stairs were the worst and Talitha was trying to figure out why. Her current theory was that the house was situated over an underground cavern that was acting as a natural evaporative cooler. The only odd part of that to Will was she had yet to ask permission to begin to dig through the basement.

  Standing in the darkened kitchen, he had a difficult choice to make. He could go up the back stairs and run the risk of waking Talitha up, and letting her get her, 'Oh so disappointed' looks in early, or go up the great stairs and try to slip past his father, who was a notoriously light sleeper and who would smell the alcohol on his breath in an instant. He had such shame that he nearly went the way of the great stairs, but instead moved up the back ones as noiselessly as possible. The stairs creaked softly under his weight, but no one stirred. In a minute, he was in bed and by the next minute, he was deeply asleep.

  Will swam slowly into consciousness. It
was bright out and the light made his eyes smart. He felt fine for a second and a half but then his hangover began a thunderous parade throughout his skull. He groaned softly and blinked, wondering what had woken him.

  "Will! It's time to get up," his father bellowed from the second stair landing. That bellow seemed familiar, as if it had been part of the dream he was just having. Will wondered how long his father had been yelling for him. "I need to see you before I go to work!"

  "I'm up!" That hurt. His head thumped hugely with each syllable.

  Staggering to his feet, he went into the bathroom and squeezed as much toothpaste as he could stand into his mouth. Hurrying down the stairs, he stopped as far from his father as he could without being disrespectful. Will worried that he still smelled like beer and his father's intense gaze didn't help.

  William was very much the Commander at the moment. He stood tall in his Dress White uniform—complete with sword. Everything about him was sharp and crisp, and his medals shone brightly against the white of his coat. He was looking at Will with the same perception that Talitha used, except his held an authority behind it that lent it power. It was all Will could do, not to wilt under that gaze and confess his many sins.

  The Commander's eyes narrowed as he took in Will's haggard appearance, but then he looked away briefly and smiling said, "I have some chores for you to do, if you are up to it."

  "Yes, I'm up for it," Will lied "Do you have another inspection?"

  "Oh yes. The Admiral sure does love to play dress up." He shook his head. "If it wasn't for the sword I would look like a highly decorated waiter." This was untrue. He was a dashing figure in his uniform and Will thought he looked heroic. "I put a list for you on the table...but they don't all have to be done today."