Claudia had told Laura and Beth, the other sales assistant, about the break-up as soon as she’d arrived at work, getting it over with. Laura and Beth had made the usual sympathetic noises and had brought her a lot of tea, and after the third text from Nick resulting in the third worried glance between the two of them, she came clean and confessed about her non-date date this evening.
But not the part about the secret. That was hers.
‘I love Nick,’ Beth swooned like some kind of Jane Austen character. ‘You two should get married and have beautiful brunette babies and then give me some pictures of Nick with his top off.’
‘That’s never going to happen. The marriage and babies thing. The photos I could probably arrange, for the price of a few Wispas.’
‘It could happen,’ Laura smiled.
‘It’s really not a date, it’s … a comfort blanket.’ A really comforting comfort blanket, which made her feel wanted and warm and a little less like a discarded old T-shirt.
‘Come on,’ begged Beth, ‘feed my fantasy. Nick is yummy – surely you’ve thought about him in a not-very-wholesome way.’
‘Beth, I’ve just come out of a long relationship.’
‘That does not answer my question.’
‘I didn’t think about anyone else while I was with Seth; no one else mattered.’ What a waste of feelings. ‘Nick’s always just been there as my best friend in the world. We’re really close, but since being with Seth it’s never been anything more than that.’ Not including the tiny sparks between them yesterday. Maybe she imagined that. Yes, she probably imagined it.
‘Wait,’ said Laura. ‘Since being with Seth?’
‘That’s not what I meant.’
‘Are you saying nothing has ever happened between the two of you?’ Beth probed, her eyes sparkling with victory.
‘Well …’ Claudia hesitated and blushed, to Beth’s squeals. ‘Okay, okay. We first became friends back in school – with Penny as well – and Nick and I were a little flirty but nothing happened. Then, at the sixth form leavers’ ball, I was feeling a bit of a loser: they were going off to their fancy dance and theatre production colleges and I was scared they’d forget me.
‘They were playing that Whitney song, “My Love is Your Love”, and I’d had a Malibu and Coke too many, and decided to make my move on Nick. I did the whole ‘making eye contact, softening my lips, saying his name quietly’ – all the things Sugar magazine had told me to do – and at the last second he realised what was going on and jumped back.’
‘Oh …’ Beth whimpered.
‘He made a run for it, and we never spoke about it again, bar me talking very loudly the next day about being “sooooo drunk” and “not remembering a thing”.’
‘So, in a way, you’ve always had a thing for Nick?’ Beth asked.
‘No, I really haven’t,’ Claudia answered honestly. That was so long ago, a completely different time. And it had only been a silly teenage thing anyway. It had been nothing like what she’d shared with Seth, which was real, grown-up and out of her hands now. ‘It’s way, way, way past all of that now. Seriously. Laura – you’re married, you don’t still harbour feelings for your teenage crush, do you?’
‘Totally!’ she exclaimed. ‘The one that got away. You know what I did on a Friday night with my teenage crush? Sip Hooch in the park as the sun went down, suck love bites out of each other that would put Robert Pattinson to shame, and he’d play the profound songs he’d written about me on his guitar. You know what I did last Friday night? Plucked my husband’s nose hair while our three-year-old kicked me in the shins for being too fat.’
‘Well, it’s not like that with us. We’re absolutely, one hundred per cent just friends now.’
Beth surrendered. ‘Well I hope you have an absolute ball with him tonight, you deserve it.’
Tonight! Her eyes danced around the shop, taking in the pointe shoes, the leg-warmers, the leotards. Tomorrow I might be handing in my notice. Tomorrow I might be needing these things for me again. Her heart pirouetted, a feeling she could only have imagined two days ago. Everything could change tonight: her job, her dreams, her life. Everything could be better.
‘All right, ladies?’ yelled the DHL man, sauntering into the shop later that morning. ‘I need a “Claudia” to sign for this one, please.’ He dumped a large rectangular sparkly silver box on the counter, the kind you buy flat-packed in Clinton Cards.
Claudia signed the electronic doodah and eyed the box. What could possibly be in there? An early Christmas present? Some elaborately wrapped samples from one of their ranges? Laura and Beth were bubbling over with anticipation.
Claudia lifted the lid.
What the …?
Inside lay a brown-paper Primark bag, a silver card balanced on top.
‘What is it? What does the card say?’ Beth asked, her neck stretching like a giraffe’s around the lid of the box.
Claudia was grinning. ‘It’s from Nick. It says, I’m not made of money, you gold digger.’
She drew out a black sequined micro-mini dress with spaghetti straps. It was so not her, and Nick knew that very well. He probably didn’t expect her to wear it, but he was reminding her to come out of her comfort zone. And that this was a date.
‘Erm, that’s … nice?’ said Laura.
‘No it’s not, and he knows it’s not. It’s just a joke.’
‘What are you going to wear tonight?’ Beth asked.
Claudia hadn’t bought a fancy new dress in a long time, and what could she wear that didn’t make her think of ‘that time when she and Seth’, or even ‘that time I bought that dress hoping’? She couldn’t wear some bobbly old out-of-fashion dress in front of all the popular girls. ‘I hadn’t thought about that,’ she panicked. ‘I don’t want to wear one of my old dresses. I don’t have time to go shopping.’ The three of them turned to the sequined dress. No, she couldn’t …
‘You could try it on?’ Beth suggested.
So Claudia found herself in the shop’s fitting room, standing in front of the mirror looking like a Vegas cocktail waitress. The dress was loose around the top, condom-tight at the bottom and barely skimmed her bum cheeks. It was very inappropriate for this cold weather.
And on that old-woman thought it was time to face her audience. She slunk out into the shop, thankful there were no customers.
‘Hope you’ve got time for a bikini wax!’ Beth yelped, and then threw her hand over her mouth. ‘Wait, I didn’t mean – I can’t see – it’s just quite short.’
Claudia laughed. ‘It’s true. Can you imagine me walking into the party in this?’ She jutted out her pelvis and strutted across the floor hips first. ‘Hello darlings, I am Nick’s date, and this is my frouhaha.’ She took an imaginary cocktail from a tray. ‘Thank you. And I’ll just take one for her downstairs as well! I can’t wear this; the top of my inner thighs won’t let me.’
The three girls stood with hands on hips.
‘You really don’t like it?’ Laura asked.
‘It really doesn’t like me.’ Claudia answered.
Taking a pair of scissors, Laura pushed Claudia back into the changing room and, with Claudia still in the dress, started chopping, snipping a good five inches off the bottom. It now fell to just below her stomach. Claudia nodded. ‘Well this is much better. Thank you, Laura.’
‘Wait there.’ Laura left the changing room for a moment. She returned with a gorgeous black wraparound skirt in floaty chiffon with a cascade hemline, which she tied around Claudia’s waist, tucking the half-dress inside then tugging it out just enough that it fell softly over her chest. Then, using a thick silver ribbon, she cinched in Claudia’s waist.
Claudia gazed at her reflection. She looked lovely; elegant and womanly. She dared a smile at herself.
‘The finishing touch,’ Laura said, plucking some ballroom sandals from the window and passing them to Claudia.
‘I can’t afford those; I have some shoes I could wear at home.’
<
br /> ‘No, they won’t be the same, you have to wear these. Consider them your Christmas bonus.’
Claudia took the shoes, along with the lovely gesture. She felt herself well up.
‘Stop that. Try them on.’
Claudia slipped her feet into the champagne-coloured heels. Ohhh, they were the most comfortable things since furry slippers. The sheen of the satin complemented her skin while the criss-cross straps were an eye-catching detail. The gem on the buckle of the ankle-strap sparkled and winked when she flexed her foot, like a big star in a night sky.
I feel ready for a date. The realisation hit her. She knew it was all just fancy packaging, but it made her feel good. Confident. And not because it might make a boy like her, but because it was new, different, fresh. Out with the old.
Claudia stepped from the changing room to give Beth a twirl, just as the shop door opened and Penny stuck her head in, bundled up in ear muffs and woollen accessories.
‘Ready?’ she asked. She gave Claudia’s outfit the once-over. ‘Whoa – way overdressed for lunch at Pizza Express.’
Claudia quickly changed and carefully folded her outfit into the silver box. That Nick, he was a handful, but he was very good at taking her mind off things.
Okay, Claudia thought. Time to get into the Christmas spirit of things. Let’s call it a date.
Date three of December. The butterflies awoke.
‘Before I forget, Laura brought in the leaflets I asked for.’ Claudia plonked a stack of pastel-coloured NHS leaflets on the table, which detailed the different options when it came to having a baby.
‘Yay, thanks Claud!’ Penny grabbed them and started leafing through.
‘I know you can find all this stuff on the internet, but doesn’t it seem more fun and real to actually have these?’ Claudia picked one of them up and studied the front. ‘Look at this one, with its eighties-style drawing of a lady and a test tube.’
‘I like that this one has huge red letters on the front – WE DO NOT PAY SPERM DONORS. I’m excited though, big decisions to come …’
‘The biggest. Let me know if you want me to crack out the Magic 8 ball.’
‘That would be perfect. So how have you been today?’ Penny asked, reaching for another slice of their shared Sloppy Giuseppe pizza.
Claudia chewed and thought. ‘I’ve been okay. I thought going to work would ruin me, but keeping busy might actually be helping.’
‘That’s brilliant! No crying?’
‘No crying, just a minor wobble. But I’ve had other things to cheer me up.’
‘Ah yes, you’re Nick’s big date tonight. He’s very excited. He thinks he’s in some golden-era movie and is obsessed with giving you a jaw-dropping evening.’
‘He is being such a sweetie pie. He sent a dress to the shop this morning.’
‘Awww.’ Penny melted like mozzarella. ‘He is such a good guy. I’m seeing our little Nick in a whole new light.’
‘He is. And he’s totally focusing on right now rather than on what’s happened over the past couple of days. It’s a refreshing break from my own thoughts.’ Claudia peered at Penny. ‘Do you know what the secret is tonight? Has he told you?’
‘Not a peep. All I know is he keeps having hushed conversations with the director.’
The director of the Royal Ballet knows about me!
‘I have something to ask you,’ Penny said. ‘I know you’ve just finished with Seth, but I was wondering … how would you feel about going on a blind date?’
‘No way.’
‘At least think about it. He’s a nice guy – the brother of one of the other dancers. He’s très rich—’
‘I don’t care how rich he is, I am so not ready to go on a blind date. To be honest, I don’t think I ever want to go on a blind date.’
‘I think it’ll be good for you,’ Penny said with authority, despite the cheese dangling down her chin.
‘Everyone thinks they know what will be good for me. I absolutely do not want to rush into a new relationship.’
‘Who said anything about a relationship?’ Penny chuckled.
‘I don’t need a new man to make me happy. I don’t need a man to make me happy full stop. I am Rihanna.’
‘Of course you don’t need to be with someone to be happy. But what I’m suggesting is that you go on a date or two and let yourself feel better about you. You’ve been with Seth for so long. Even if nothing happens with these guys it’ll do you good to know that not everyone is like him. And maybe it’ll boost your confidence a bit.’
‘I don’t want to.’ Claudia was a grown woman and wasn’t going to be pushed into something she didn’t want to do. Did Penny assume that because she was damaged right now she couldn’t think for herself?
‘You’re going on a date tonight. Why are you so against another one?’
‘Because tonight is just a bit of fun with someone I know well. It doesn’t have … implications.’
‘But it’s still going to be date-y. Come on, Claud, it might shave a few days off wallowing in misery.’
Claudia sighed. She didn’t have to agree to this. I can do whatever I want.
‘And if nothing else, it’ll help keep you busy, like you just said.’
Her flash of annoyance was subsiding. Maybe she should stop telling herself she didn’t want to do things just because she felt she shouldn’t. She doubted Seth was in mourning, wherever he was.
She and Seth had broken up because they hadn’t said ‘yes’ to each other enough. If she hadn’t said ‘yes’ to Nick she wouldn’t be going to the party tonight, and (maybe) becoming a ballerina once more.
Saying yes was a good thing. Sometimes. Let’s just see if this is one of those times.
‘Yes.’
‘Yes?’
‘Yes.’
‘YES!’ Penny wiped her mouth with her napkin. ‘That’s brill, because I said you’d meet him at Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park at eleven tomorrow morning.’
‘What if I’d said no?’ Claudia demanded.
‘Then I would have called it off.’ Penny shrugged. ‘You can do whatever you want.’
Nick knocked on Penny’s door at bang on six o’clock. Claudia adjusted her silver-ribbon belt and plumped up her high pony tail one last time. Enjoy date three, she told herself.
She opened the door to find Nick smiling, handsome in his charcoal suit. ‘I can’t believe you wore it!’ he whooped, taking in her outfit. ‘You look stunning.’
Claudia felt herself blush. ‘Stunning’ was a little overboard. ‘I wore some of it. Thanks for sending this over, you’re very sweet.’
‘No problem.’ Nick held out his arm and she stepped through the door, locking Penny’s flat after her. ‘Hope you didn’t think it was too much.’
‘Not at all, but Laura and Beth are ready to kidnap you and keep you for ever.’ She peeked at Nick. ‘I had a lot of explaining to do about this not being a date, you know.’
Nick caught her eye and chuckled. Claudia grinned and looked away.
They sat together on the train, with Claudia feeling strangely shy. Her tummy was fluttering as she stared at the Tube map, counting down the stops. She could sense Nick peeping at her from time to time.
Her heart thudded along with the chug-chug-chug of the underground, and she felt her palms sweating. What was she doing? She didn’t belong there tonight, with those people. She shouldn’t be here with Nick.
What was it about tonight that made her feel like she was walking a tightrope?
Nick took her hand in his. It felt warm and big, and it gripped hers securely. He pulled it over so both their hands rested on his thigh. Claudia stared at it, steadying her breathing.
‘I’m going to keep holding this until it stops shaking,’ he told her, his eyes fixed on the Tube map.
You’re not helping.
They emerged from the crammed Tube station into the bustle of Covent Garden. Christmas music blasted from the shops, all with their doors flung wide open an
d heaters blowing warmth into the faces of late-night shoppers.
People were everywhere. Some were happily weighed down with a pick and mix of the stores’ festive shopping bags, in gold, red and silver. Some were dressed to the nines ready for a night out in London town. Many were standing around the entrance to the station, their faces glowing, as they watched and waited for their friends, families and first dates.
Nick held her hand as they weaved through the crowd. She found herself humming along to the Christmas classics.
‘Relaxing a little?’ Nick asked.
‘A little,’ she admitted. You can’t stay too jittery when you’re washed with songs that remind you of dozing on the sofa with a Chocolate Orange and watching Home Alone.
‘We don’t have to go to the party until you’re ready. Shall we just walk around for a while?’
‘Will you tell me the secret before we go in?’
‘Nope.’ Nick shook his head. ‘It has to be there. But it can wait. Can I buy you a mulled wine?’
He led her to a wooden hut with fairy lights on the roof and spiced steam rising from enormous steel urns within. Nick leant over a fat garland of green ferns and silver pine cones that was strung across the counter. He ordered two mulled wines. As the woman poured out the thick ruby drink Claudia found herself studying Nick’s profile.
What a familiar face. She knew it like the back of her hand, and yet he looked somehow different tonight.
Nervous? Maybe.
Handsome? Maybe.
He was trying so hard to make sure she was happy. Why was her stomach butterflying more than it ever had around him?
He turned back to her with the drinks. ‘Enjoy!’ He raised his Styrofoam cup to her.
They both took a sip and their eyes met. Claudia quickly shut hers and focused on the heady sensation of the hot wine hitting her tongue. The tang of orange and the mellowness of cinnamon and nutmeg smashed together, and Claudia let loose a blissful ‘Mmmm.’
The Twelve Dates of Christmas Page 5