‘Don’t make me sing Mariah at you.’
Penny was always there for her. Always looking out for her. And she had her heart set on Nick, and on having a baby with him, and him being the key to making her dreams come true. The thought of it being her that took this away made Claudia feel wretched.
‘Claud, how do you feel?’
She sighed, feeling all the sorrow in the world and opened her mouth to turn him down. What else could she do?
‘Nick …’
‘Hey guys.’ Nick and Claudia snatched their hands apart as if the sparks between them had lit a flame. Next to the table, a quizzical look on her face, stood Penny. ‘What’s going on?’
Date Seven
The Ice Rink at the Natural History Museum, Kensington
In a matter of seconds Claudia had wiped clean the shock and painted a thick layer of imaginary cover-up over her guilty face. She dragged on a smile. Nothing will show.
‘Hi Penny,’ she said, and then turned straight to the girl at her friend’s side.
‘Hi, I’m Claudia. I kind of recognise you: do you guys work together?’ she babbled, her heart thudding, desperate to distract Penny from the situation.
‘Yes – I’m a physio at the company. I’m Jada.’
‘Well it’s so good to meet you.’
‘You too, Penny was just telling me that you and I might be working together soon.’
‘I don’t think I need a physio. Because of the Insanity workout? To be honest, I haven’t exactly stuck to the regime …’
‘No, I mean backstage, at the Royal Ballet.’
‘Ah, of course.’ Plonker. ‘Yes, that might happen, maybe … By the way Penny, you look lovely.’
‘Thanks.’ Was Penny looking at her strangely? Did she know something was going on? ‘So what are you guys doing here, all alone?’
‘Well,’ started Nick with a big grin on his face. ‘I was just telling Claud—’
‘We were just having a good catch-up and telling jokes and things,’ Claudia jumped in lamely. ‘But I am full. I think we should get the bill.’ She smiled at Nick who looked baffled, as if he were trying to figure out a difficult answer in a pub quiz.
‘Stay for a little bit. Jada and I are just grabbing a milkshake – they’re so good here. We’ll join you.’ Yeah right, she was totally saying ‘We’ll keep an eye on you’. ‘Hi Nick.’ Penny gave him a warm smile and lashings of eye contact. Claudia’s insides tightened.
‘I remember you from the Christmas party, Claudia, you were pretty hammered,’ Jada teased.
‘Yep, that was me.’
‘Before you fell off that table you were killing it in the dance-off. Sorry, Penny, but I think Claudia won that.’
‘No way, I didn’t win anything, Penny deserved to win,’ Claudia insisted.
‘It’s okay, I accept defeat. I am second best.’
‘No, you’re not, you are not second best. I’m not taking anything away from you.’
‘I believe you.’ Penny looked at her directly, but Claudia couldn’t hold the eye contact.
Saved by the waitress: ‘Can I get you ladies anything?’
‘Yes, please, can we get four chocolate milkshakes?’ Penny grinned at the group.
‘Actually, do you have eggnog?’ Nick asked. The waitress nodded. ‘Get in! Can I have eggnog instead please?’
‘Ooo, me too, I’ve never tried it,’ cried Claudia. ‘No, hang on, I will have a milkshake, if Penny says they’re good. She knows best – this girl has amazing taste,’ she told Jada.
‘Have eggnog, have whatever you want, my treat,’ said Penny.
‘Um … no, I value your opinion and your feelings as a friend.’ Okay, stop it. She was desperately drowning her guilt under a waterfall of gushing hero-worship, and all three of them were starting to look at her strangely.
‘Well, thanks.’ Penny laughed it off. ‘Now come on, what are you two up to? What’s the big secret?’
There was definitely an edge to her voice.
‘We had some terribly important things to talk about,’ said Nick. Claudia widened her eyes at him. Please don’t say anything, please.
Suddenly Penny visibly lit up, and she leaned in to Nick. ‘Important things, huh? Sounds … important. Life-changing.’
Oh, Penny. How could Claudia tell her that no, she hadn’t been about to ask if Nick liked Penny, because she already knew the answer? Claudia tried to pull Penny’s attention away, but she was staring at Nick like a teenager at a One Direction concert.
Where had those lusty eyes come from? Was it the procreation hormones zipping around Penny’s body that made her sumptuous and predatory? Claudia tried to imitate her expression but Nick glanced over and caught her. The shame.
‘Have you talked about these things yet?’ Penny pressed Nick.
‘We were just getting to it.’
Penny turned to Claudia, all of a sudden her eyes glittering full beam and struggling to control an enormous grin from taking over her face. ‘Shall I go?’
‘No, stay, please stay,’ said Claudia. Coward.
The milkshakes and eggnog were delivered and Claudia focused on the cold, creamy liquid. She took a massive, noisy slurp through the fat straw and looked up to see Penny smiling at her.
‘Claudia, you look stunning tonight, you’re glowing.’
‘Glowing? No. It’s really hot in here and I’m totally dressed for snow. It’s just sweat.’ And nerves and fear and panic that you’ll see through me and find out what a betraying harlot I am.
‘No, you just look happy, like you have your sparkle back. Like somehow you’ve gotten over the worst of Seth.’ She stared at Claudia for a moment then turned to Nick. ‘Doesn’t she look gorgeous?’
‘I’d do her.’
‘Nick! Oh my God, sorry Jada.’ Sorry Penny. He was chuckling, no idea he was piggy-in-the-middle to two romance-starved women.
Claudia polished off her milkshake in record speed and stood, pulling on her coat. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to go. It was good to meet you Jada.’ She pulled a twenty-pound note out of her purse.
‘You’re going?’ Nick said. ‘Shall I come with you?’
‘No, you finish your eggnog, I have … plans.’ Please don’t say anything right now, Penny.
‘Yes, you’re meeting Mikael!’ said Penny.
‘You’re meeting Mikael?’ Jada fanned herself.
‘You’re meeting Mikael?’ asked Nick.
‘Woo-wee, you’re in for a treat, he’s HOT.’ said Jada.
‘He’s not that hot,’ grumbled Nick.
‘I don’t think he’s that hot,’ said Penny, smiling at Nick. ‘But Claudia will – she could use some male model right now.’
‘He is so not a male model; he’s all lanky and stupid,’ Nick sulked.
Claudia stood there awkwardly. She hated leaving things like this, but it was easier to run away than have the rest of ‘the talk’. ‘I said I’d be there … I better go.’ She apologised with her eyes and hoped with all her heart that Nick understood.
He handed the twenty back to her. ‘You don’t have to pay, I’ve got it.’
‘No, it’s fine.’ Penny and Jada were watching them. ‘It’s not like this is a date or anything.’ She hated saying it; she knew it would hurt Nick but she had to make sure Penny knew.
‘Right.’ Nick went back to his eggnog.
She said her goodbyes and turned to leave, feeling wretched. He must hate her.
‘Wait, Claudia,’ said Nick. She turned back. He was holding out his glass with a gentle smile. ‘Before you go, you have to try some eggnog, otherwise … Christmas won’t like you any more.’
‘You are not a ballerina.’
Claudia turned on her stool in the crowded pub and smiled at the tall Romanian glowering down at her. His arms were folded and his square-cut features were so still Claudia wondered for a moment if he was posing for an imaginary perfume advert.
‘No, not any more.’ She held out her han
d. ‘I’m Claudia.’
‘No, I can see you are not a ballerina. Your body is not like a ballerina. Penny said you are a ballerina.’ He ignored her hand and sat down on the stool opposite with a sigh. ‘Oh well. I am Mikael. You know that, of course. You have seen me in The Nutcracker, I hope.’
Why am I here? ‘Yes, I saw it last week. Penny was fantastic, as graceful as always.’
Mikael waited.
‘And my friend Nick …’ He’s lovely. He’s much hotter than you. ‘He built such amazing set pieces.’ Claudia took a slow sip of her drink, admiring the gold foil garlands strung around the pub. She could feel Mikael’s steely eyes willing her an early death.
It was too awkward; she caved.
‘And you were great.’ She loathed herself. She didn’t even remember him.
‘Yes,’ he agreed. Having got what he wanted he asked with minimal interest, ‘And you do what?’
‘I work in Edurné’s, the dancewear shop in Covent Garden.’ Mikael shrugged. ‘You don’t know it? I’m surprised. It’s very popular; all the best dancers go there.’ Ha.
‘Of course I know it, but I don’t remember the shop assistants.’
Well played, Mikael. Nope, no more wasting time on rubbish dates. Being single was far more desirable than being put through this. She gulped the rest of her cranberry juice and was about to make her excuses when the last person she wanted to see walked in.
‘All right sexyyyy?’ Seth boomed across the pub. He was wearing a Santa hat and had glassy eyes, and he gave Claudia a pat on the head, his hand slipping to her right boob, as a greeting. He looked from Mikael to Claudia and back to Mikael. ‘You’re handsome.’ Mikael nodded.
Seth leaned over the table and winked at Claudia, his beery breath filling her face. He became serious. ‘Claudy. I miss your body in the mornings. You look lovely first thing, pottering about in the nod, doing your make-up.’
Claudia was stunned. Where had that come from? Seth never said such nice things. Ever.
Seth stood back upright and turned to Mikael. ‘She’s awesome, mate. Fantastic in bed too, when she’ll give it to you. She does this thing—’
‘SETH!’ For just a millisecond she’d believed he might have changed. She grabbed her coat. ‘Thanks Mikael, it’s been a riot.’
Seth nudged Mikael. ‘Just don’t expect it too often. Her sex drive’s got an expiration date!’ he snorted with laughter and Claudia shoved him out of her way. She tumbled from the pub and into the busy night. The Strand was heaving with Christmas-party revellers and joyful theatre-goers, all sparkly dresses and slipping heels on the icy pavement, causing whoops and squeals to peal out across the West End.
‘You’re such a shit.’ She said it aloud, banging her fist on a brick wall. ‘You’re both such shits.’ What an evening; constantly walking on eggshells. If she could have anything in the world right now, anything at all, it would be for everyone else to disappear, so she could just be alone with the one person she knew she had to forget.
‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’ blared out of her coat pocket and she pulled out her phone. And there he was: Nick. Perfect. ‘What?’
‘What?!’ he yelled back, surprised.
‘What, Nick?’ A sniffle escaped. Damn it.
‘What’s wrong? What happened?’
A heavy breath escaped her and whirled about in front of her face in the frosty air. She was getting very tired of covering up her feelings. ‘I just … don’t want to be on a blind date right now.’ She knew what she was really saying here. Did he?
Seconds passed. She couldn’t speak any more. She willed him to say something that would make everything fall into place, but what could he say?
‘Where are you?’ he said quietly.
‘Trafalgar Square.’
‘I’m coming for you.’
‘Meet me at the Christmas tree?’
He hung up and Claudia slowly lowered the phone. What was she doing? This was dangerous. Dangerous, friendship-rocking, friendship-breaking territory. She made her way to the capital’s biggest tree, twenty metres tall and adorned with a night-sky of white fairy lights. She hugged herself against the wind chill and let the softly piped carols blow away the horrible non-date. Silent night, holy night.
Minutes later, strong, warm arms spun her round and enveloped her in one swift move. She pushed her face into Nick’s chest and breathed him in. He smelt of Hugo Boss and hot chestnuts, his torso as warm as a log fire against her nose. She peeled herself back enough to glance up at him.
He smiled, breathing heavily. ‘You’re such a cry-baby at the moment,’ he said tenderly.
‘Why are you panting, you big pervert?’
‘I ran, of course.’
Of course.
It was unspoken, but their feelings for each other were as loud as Big Ben. Claudia rose up on her tiptoes and pressed her forehead against Nick’s mouth. He kissed her, his breath tickling through her hair.
All is calm, all is bright.
Eleven o’clock the following night and Claudia was outside the Opera House on her own – again – looking like a right lemon. She could have gone inside, but then she might have run into Penny – again. This way she could stare at the door like a total stalker and grab Nick as he came out.
Last night she’d walked away from him with an ‘I’ll have an answer for you tomorrow.’ It was about as late into tomorrow as it could possibly be. As much as she adored putting stuff off, he was too big a part of her life to leave hanging; it wasn’t fair.
She still hadn’t decided what she was going to say to him, though.
She could tell him she had feelings for him but so did Penny, and for that reason they couldn’t be together. At least not until Penny was well and truly over him.
Or she could tell him she didn’t have feelings for him, which they both knew was a lie, and force him to move on. She wouldn’t say a word about Penny being the reason behind her actions, and maybe Penny would just be able to spark his interest. It was the only way she could keep Penny as a friend, but where would it leave her with Nick?
‘Your life is a mess, sort it out,’ Claudia said quietly to herself. She put her game face on and was about to stride into the building when she heard a familiar shriek.
‘Claaaaaaudia! Hello my darling!’ Christine was descending the steps in a long baby pink satin gown, accompanied by Penny in full costume. It was a beautiful sight, if an unwelcome one at this moment.
‘Hey Claud, what are you doing here?’ Penny grinned.
‘Hello! Lovely!’ said Claudia. ‘I’m just, um, I heard you were coming tonight, Christine, so I thought I’d come and say hello.’
‘Twice in one week, I’m such a lucky girl.’
‘Twice? Have you ladies been hanging out without me?’ scolded Penny.
‘This one needed a bit of sense knocked in to her about my Nick. I am pleased you two are back on friendly terms.’
SHUSH WOMAN.
‘When were you not on friendly terms?’ Penny looked at Claudia, confusion washing over her face.
‘She just means, you know, when I was avoiding men after Seth.’
‘It was that Christmas party that did it,’ teased Christine, winking at Claudia.
‘What happened at the party?’ asked Penny.
‘I think Nick might have got a bit caught up in the moment, nearly turned our Claudia into the one that got away.’
Penny frowned at Claudia. ‘I didn’t know anything about this.’
‘We just had a disagreement about something. It’s over now.’
‘Or is it just beginning?’ Christine chuckled. ‘He’s been back to his happy little Christmas Elf-self since he’s got you back.’
‘I didn’t know anything was wrong. You two have seemed super-cosy over the last week, practically dating—’
Claudia’s mouth was dry as she watched Penny’s penny drop. The two girls stared at each other, Claudia with panic and regret and that horrible feeling when you�
��ve royally messed something up, and Penny with clarity and hurt.
Claudia saw Penny’s eyes fill up with tears and in that moment she’d never felt worse, even after all the crap she’d been through in the last week and a half. She was supposed to always mop up those tears, not cause them.
‘Christine,’ Claudia said quietly, ‘I just need to have a chatter with Penny for a mo. Do you mind if I steal her away?’
‘Of course, angels, girl-talk time. I’ll go and buy a programme, and maybe another brandy.’
Claudia and Penny crossed the street in silence and sat down next to the Young Dancer statue. Claudia didn’t know where to start.
‘You and Nick: are you together?’ Penny whispered, a line of black eye make-up dribbling down each cheek.
‘No, no we’re not, we’re … um—’
‘What? Spit it out. Tell me what’s been going on behind my back.’
‘Nothing’s happened.’
‘Something’s happened, I can see it in your face.’ She looked really mad. She was giving Claudia the look she gave her ex-boyfriends, but this time with additional pain.
‘I promise you, nothing has happened. Nick and I … we’ve got weirdly closer over the last week. He’s been so attentive – just like you said – and there have been some sparks. Just tiny ones. But as soon as you said you liked him I knew I had to back off.’
‘Have you two kissed?’
‘No. Penny, there’s no way I would do anything to hurt you.’
‘But what about before you knew how I felt? What went on at the party? What did Christine mean by “Nick got caught up in the moment”?’
‘It was me that got caught up in the moment.’ Her actions still made her cringe to think about them. ‘I was drunk and felt something, and tried to kiss him but he wasn’t having any of it.’
‘Then what happened?’
‘Then I spent a miserable thirty-six hours stewing over everything, questioning mine and Nick’s whole relationship. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and finally we talked it out over that Sunday roast.’
‘And?’
‘And then I came over to yours, and you told me how you felt.’
‘Why didn’t you just tell me you liked him?’
The Twelve Dates of Christmas Page 12