Things hadn’t changed here. But he had, hadn’t he? No matter what happened in his life, the luxuries and the fancy things he’d amassed, the accolades and success, he couldn’t escape his past and what he was. He looked down at the tattoos that covered his hands—work and play. No matter what Alana had said, he didn’t always feel like he fit into the world of The Brotherhood. Part of him still felt like the same street punk who had received a lucky break. As the melancholy set in, he wanted something stronger, darker. He signaled to the waitress and ordered double Jack Daniel’s. Then, he put a $100 dollar bill on the table and asked her to bring the bottle.
* * *
Maria was in bed when her phone rang. “Hello?”
“Maria? Hi, it’s Alana.”
Maria pulled her phone away from her face and looked questioningly at the screen. “Alana, what can I do for you?”
Alana hesitated. “I know it’s late, and this is kind of awkward. But I was just at a bar with Alex, and he stayed behind. I’m worried about him, and I was wondering if you could go and check on him. I’ll send my driver over for you, if you can drive him and his car home?”
Maria sat up in bed like a shot. She didn’t want to think too much about how Alana knew to call her. Alex must have told her. “Yeah, of course. Thanks for calling me.” She gave Alana her address and hung up the phone. Maria quickly got dressed and grabbed her purse just as the town car pulled up in front of her building.
Once settled inside the car, she picked up her phone and dialed Alex’s number. Several rings went through before he answered.
“Hey, babe.” His voice was deep and dark, and a little slurred. “What are you doing awake?”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m just great.” The low tone of his voice contradicted his words.
“What’s going on, Alex?”
“I’m just having a few drinks.”
“What are you doing there? Is something wrong?”
“Nah, I’m fine. I’m always fine.”
“Alex, stay where you are. I’m coming to get you.”
“No, Maria, don’t—”
“I’m on the way. I’ll be there soon.”
When Maria made her way into the bar, it wasn’t hard to find Alex. He was sitting alone in a booth, a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and a glass in front of him. His white shirt was open at the collar and his tie had been discarded, the gray ink of his tattoos sneaking up his neck, his sleeves rolled up. She knew that his clothing cost at least a couple of grand, but she never would have guessed the dangerous-looking man in the booth was a partner in a multimillion-dollar firm. He looked like a complete badass, able to fight anyone in the bar, as he cradled a short glass in one large hand and held a cigarette between two fingers of the other. He downed the whiskey in one swallow and poured more from the bottle. His slump did nothing to mask the shrewd intelligence behind his eyes or the power he commanded.
She sat across from him, and he looked up at her. “This is no place for you,” he told her.
“You’re telling me. Yet you’re the one who left your fancy car outside.”
He flicked the ash from his cigarette in the ashtray. “I fit in here better than you know.”
She held out her hand. “Give me your keys.”
He scoffed. “Why?”
“Because we’re leaving.”
“No. I’m fine here.”
Maria looked around. She’d known Alex for years, but she’d never seen him act like this. His eyes were hooded and dark, not meeting hers. “Alex, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?”
He said nothing. But Maria found the strong, silent stereotype exhausting. As he lifted his arm to drink from his glass, she snatched it from him and dumped its contents into the ashtray that held the remnants of several Marlboro Lights from the rumpled packet that also sat on the table.
“What the hell?” he said, his voice raised in irritation.
“If you don’t want to talk to me, fine. But if you think I’m just going to sit here and watch you drink yourself into oblivion without telling me what’s going on, you’ve got another think coming. Now stand up and walk out with me, and I’ll take you home.”
Alex glared at her, but she didn’t waver. She knew that not many other people had ever spoken to Alex like that. But she didn’t care. Finally, he sighed and stood, laying his keys on the table in front of her. “Fine. Let’s go.”
He seemed to be able to hold his liquor, and was somehow steady as they made their way to the door. He got into the passenger seat of his own car as Maria settled in behind the steering wheel. “Hmm, I might have to drop you off and take this baby for a joyride.”
“I don’t think so, babe. Just because I love you doesn’t mean I won’t spank your ass for driving my baby.”
Maria blinked at his admission and turned to face him. His eyes were closed, and his head was turned away from her. “What was that?”
“What was what?” he asked, his voice slurred. He looked ready to pass out. It seemed his little declaration might have been made under the influence of alcohol or fatigue.
“Nothing.”
He didn’t respond, but he moved the seat to make room for his long legs and leaned it back so that he reclined at an angle. Maria took her eyes off the road long enough to sneak a glance at him; his head was against the headrest, and his eyes were closed. His breath was steady. He was asleep. Her house was closer, and she was also tired and not looking forward to the Las Vegas Boulevard traffic. She turned in the opposite direction of the Strip and headed instead for her own apartment.
After the short drive, she parked in the spot next to her own car and shook him awake. “Alex, we’re here.”
He mumbled incoherently, and then his eyes popped open. He looked out the windshield. “This isn’t my building.”
“It isn’t. I didn’t want to deal with Strip traffic, and you were asleep, so I brought you to my place. It’s only fair, right? I’m always at your condo.”
“Yeah, fine.” He scrubbed his hand across his eyes and looked around the parking lot.
“This isn’t a great area, you know.”
“It’s not that bad,” she said, getting out of the car.
“Why are you living here?”
“Because it was reasonably priced and Beth needed a roommate. And plus, it’s near the community center.”
“Yeah, and that’s the problem,” he mumbled.
Her mouth dropped. “Oh my God, you’re such a snob.” She opened the door to her small apartment, guided Alex inside and closed it after him.
“I’m not a snob,” he told her. “Make sure you lock it.”
She flipped the dead bolt and dragged the chain into the lock. “I always do. And you are a snob. Just because this is a low-income area, it isn’t a crime-ridden hellhole. The people are nice here. They’re just trying to get by and live their lives. We all look after each other. I never thought you would be so far removed from the real world, sequestered in your luxury penthouse and office tower.”
He stopped walking and watched her. “I’m not removed from it. I just know that you deserve a great place to live.”
“This is where I live. I like it here. And you can’t change that.”
“Okay, I’m sorry. What if we gave you a raise? You could get a better place then.”
“A raise would be nice, but I’m not moving. Remember? I like it here.”
“Raf and your parents know you live here?”
“Will you let it go? Yes, they know I live here. They don’t love it. But...” She shrugged. “What are they going to do, tell me I can’t? Like that wouldn’t make me move to a way worse neighborhood out of spite.”
“You’re so stubborn,” he muttered as he walked in after her.
“Takes one to know one.”
Alex let h
er lead him through her apartment to her bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and flopped down on her bed. It was much smaller, and lumpier, than the king at his home. But it smelled like Maria, and that made it better than anywhere he’d ever slept. He allowed himself to sink into it, even though it barely contained him as his feet hung over the end.
She followed him onto the bed and lay next to him. He wrapped his arm around her and took the glass of water she offered. “Thanks, Maria. For everything.”
She waited until he drained the glass before she asked him again. “So, do you want to tell me about what it was that took you to some shitty dive bar, downing Jack Daniel’s and chain-smoking Marlboros?”
“I’m never drinking with Alana again,” he said with a chuckle. “We just went there to have some drinks after work, and then we got carried away with some design ideas. We actually got a lot accomplished. She called you, didn’t she?”
“She did. And I’m glad. You told her about us?”
“Yeah, I know we agreed to keep this secret, but I had to tell someone. I was hoping she’d give me a little insight.”
“And did she?”
“A little. She agrees that Raf will kill me if he finds out.” He pulled Maria closer. “But it was a good night. Felt like we kind of went back to our roots a bit. That was our bar during college. It was kind of nice to go back in time a little. At least for a couple of hours.”
“I remember you from back then. You’ve changed so much.”
He shook his head. “Maybe in appearance. I haven’t changed so much. I’m still the same lost, troubled punk I always was. I can put on a suit and drive a nice car, but I haven’t really changed. As much as I thought I might have.”
“That doesn’t mean you aren’t a good man. You were one then, and you sure as hell are one now.”
“I’m not. I had a lucky break when your parents took me in. If they hadn’t, who knows where I would have ended up?”
“I think you would have turned out fine anyway. You can’t fake ambition. I see kids all the time, coming from families like yours. It’s so hard to break the cycle, and so many get lost in it. You persevered. That’s incredible. I’m proud of you.”
“Your family pulled me up and gave me the chance. You’re so fucking good, Maria.” He sighed. “You’re so pure. What are you doing with me?”
“You’re a good guy,” she told him. “You’re kind, you make me laugh, and you’re really good in bed.”
He pulled her to him and chuckled against her lips before he kissed her.
She pulled away, scrunching up her nose. “You taste like whiskey and cigarettes.”
“Before tonight, I hadn’t smoked a cigarette since college—I was feeling nostalgic. I’m sorry.” He moved to get up. “Do you have any mouthwash?”
“In the bathroom. But don’t be sorry. You always taste good.” She wrapped her arms around his middle and pulled him closer. She felt him stiffen, as if her physical affection hurt him for a moment. She unbuttoned his shirt and traced the swirls of gray ink that covered his body. He was so sexy.
“Do you know why I ended up living with your family?”
She shook her head. “I don’t really remember. I was only two. But I asked one day when I was a little older, and Mom and Dad explained to me that you would be staying with us. I learned later that your mother had died, and your dad was in jail. But no one ever explained what had happened.”
“My parents were junkies and fought all the time. I don’t even really think they knew I was there half the time—they just focused on chasing that next high. I always told myself that I wouldn’t be like that. One night I remember they were fighting, and it went too far. My dad pushed my mom down the stairs, and then went out to get high. He didn’t care that I was eight and still at home. He just left me. The next morning, she was still at the bottom of the stairs when the cops busted in. Apparently, he’d been arrested after breaking into a convenience store, and he broke down and told them he’d killed his wife. He still didn’t mention that I was there, and the cops were surprised to find me.”
“Oh God. Alex.” Her heart broke for him, as a man, as a child who’d experienced so much trauma and had suffered in silence. She wondered what would have happened if her family had not opened their door to him. She knew he’d studied hard in school and managed to secure a scholarship for college. He’d succeeded in life in his thirty-two years, despite all the odds that had been stacked against him. But he was still so alone. He had his friends; he had her family. But no one looked after him.
“Your parents were kind enough to take me in. And that’s why this is so hard for me. You see that I owe my life to your family. They saved me from the system. Lying in your bed feels like such a huge betrayal to the people who saved me.”
“My family loves you. You were a welcome addition to our family. I can’t imagine our lives without you.”
“But I know that I was just one misstep away from following in my parents’ footsteps. I got lucky.”
“You’ve worked hard. You deserve everything you’ve gotten.”
“And those kids at the community center...”
“That’s why you donated the money, isn’t it?”
“Thank you for taking me there. I know what kids like that go through. I know we have a philanthropy branch of The Brotherhood. But I’ve removed myself so far from kids like the ones I met. I want to get more involved.”
“I’m glad to hear that. They really liked having you there.”
He reached out and cupped her cheek. He drew her near and kissed her. His kiss was a light touch, but it possessed every bit of fire and passion that it always did. He pulled back. He had a meeting to get to and he had to go home and shower. But he was reluctant to pull away. Every time he touched her, he found it harder and harder to stay away from her.
It was a new feeling for him. With women, he always felt restless, ready to bolt whenever he was given the chance. But with Maria, he couldn’t bear to part from her. He couldn’t pull away. It physically hurt him to pull away from her. He’d never felt like that before. It confused him, threw him off-balance. He didn’t get it. Maria was different, and part of him thought it was terrifying.
They lay together in silence for a moment. What could she be thinking about the things he’d told her? He’d never told anyone but Raf and his parents about the circumstances that had brought him to their home. He didn’t say anything; his eyes were fixed on the ceiling, his mouth set. Maria suddenly placed her hand on his jaw, and that got his attention. His arm around her waist tightened, and he looked down at her.
She rolled over on top of him, straddling his hips, and let her fingers follow a path down his chest until they settled on his belt buckle.
“What are you doing?” he asked, eyeing her.
“Showing you that you’re good and deserve love. You’re a good man. I want to take the pain away.”
“I’m not feeling too much pain right now.”
“And you won’t.” She leaned over him and brought her lips to his ear, her voice a throaty whisper. “I want to taste you, Alex. I want to feel you come down my throat.” She straightened, and as she unfastened his pants, she looked him in the eyes. “Are you too drunk for this?”
“Never too drunk for you. But you don’t need to do this, Maria.”
“I want to.” She loosened his pants and pulled them down, along with his boxers. Despite his drunken state, he still managed to watch her, not wanting to miss a second. His cock was hard and stuck straight up. She grasped him, leaned in and started at the base, dragging her tongue upward, until she reached the throbbing pink head, which she took into her mouth.
Maria’s mouth was heaven. He moaned, and she took him deeper, fisting her fingers at the base, while her lips drew up and down over him. He raised his head from the pillow and watched her as she continued her up-and-down
motions, sucking in her cheeks as she took him deeper and deeper, allowing him to hit the back of her throat, until she could take no more. With her lips resting on the base of him, Alex stilled and tried to stop himself from pulling back and thrusting into her again. His breath was ragged as he tried to control himself.
Maria moved her head up, slowly, torturously so, until just his head remained wedged between her soft, lush lips. She swirled her tongue around it, and Alex shuddered.
She lifted her head and looked up at him. “You know, Alex, I never used to put much thought into blow jobs. It was always just a precursor to the main event. But with you?” She dragged her tongue up the sensitive underside of his dick. “I love it.” Another lick. “Every part of pleasing you fascinates me. Your taste, your smell, the sounds you make, the way you trust me enough to give yourself over to me. You make me feel powerful.”
Her words were a shot to his heart. Their eyes connected over the length of his torso. Goddamn, he could love this woman. It hit him—he did love her. The realization made him tense up, and Alex could feel his jaw set hard, and a muscle tick in his jaw.
“Baby, relax, okay? Just let go.”
He reached down and traced her jaw with his fingers. “Why don’t you come up here?”
She placed a kiss on the head of his penis and ran her fist lazily up and down his length. He pushed his hips up in response. “Are you going to relax for me?”
His chuckle morphed into a moan. “I’m not sure how much more relaxed I could be.” But he groaned and put his head back into the pillow when she increased the speed of her fist, pumping up and down. She added her mouth, and he moaned his approval and put a coaxing but supportive hand on the back of her head. Urging her to take only what she could.
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