Aphrodite the Fair

by Joan Holub

  “And have you invited her?” Athena asked, curious.

  “Well, no,” Zeus admitted.

  “Why not, Dad?” she pressed.

  Zeus fingered the neckline of his tunic. “Okay, you caught me. I fear that Eris’s very presence might spark a fight between Hera and me. Eris has that effect, you know.”

  All four students stared at him. “We know!” Ares exclaimed.

  “Yeah!” said Heracles.

  “That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you!” said Aphrodite.

  Athena nodded.

  “So maybe you could end the competition after all and send my sister back home?” Ares asked hopefully.

  “No can do. I promised her from the start that she could attend MOA permanently if her contest increased grade point averages by at least twenty percent,” said Zeus. “The results so far have beat all my expectations.”

  “Doesn’t it matter that at least two students cheated to get good grades?” Heracles broke in to remind him.

  “Those boys’ disgraceful behavior will have consequences–” Zeus broke off to gaze longingly at his stack of Great Principals Quarterly. Was he worried that if he sent Eris home, grades would plummet and he might not make Principal of the Year? Ares wondered.

  Seemed like the principal should be worrying more about Eris’s troublemaking skills. But if he did dis-invite her to MOA, she wouldn’t take kindly to being crossed. Not even by Zeus. She might even do as he feared and try to cause trouble between Hera and him. It was a real dilemma!

  Appearing to reach a decision at last, Principal Zeus turned to face Ares. “She’s your sister,” he said craftily. “So I hereby command you to get her to declare a winner in the grades contest as soon as possible. And to convince her to go to school somewhere else.”

  Zeus is passing the buck to me? Ares thought in shock. Was even the King of the Gods and Ruler of the Heavens just a little bit chicken when it came to dealing with his potentially vengeful sister? In a weird way, that notion was sort of comforting. Made Ares feel less like a chicken himself.

  “But she doesn’t listen to me,” Ares protested anyway. “So maybe it would be better if–”

  “Ahem,” said Athena. Ares glanced over to see that she and Aphrodite were making frantic slashing motions across their throats to indicate that contradicting Zeus on this matter was not a good idea. And if he needed any more convincing, the thunderous scowl on Zeus’s face provided it.

  “–better if I found a way to change her mind,” Ares finished wisely.

  “That’s the spirit!” Zeus declared, rubbing his hands together. He quickly ushered the foursome out of his office. “Well, off you go, and good luck. I need to start writing my acceptance speech for that Principal of the Year Award. Because now that I think about it, I’m still likely to win, regardless of what happens with the competition. Though student grades are important, who would dare deny the King of the Gods and the Ruler of the Heavens such an honor!” he crowed.

  “I’m glad somebody’s happy,” Ares mumbled to the others as they all left his office.

  “So what are you going to say to Eris to get her to end the competition and go home?” Aphrodite asked as the four of them started down the hall.

  “No clue,” Ares admitted. He’d just have to hope something would come to him. And that he could somehow contain his sister’s fury when he did. Or else he’d need to start wearing that suit of armor from his dorm from now on to protect himself from those pinches of hers!

  11

  Up a Tree

  Aphrodite

  MAYBE WE’LL BE ABLE TO help you think of what to do if we eat something first,” Aphrodite told Ares as they left Zeus’s office with Athena and Heracles. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starving. Because of that food fight, I missed breakfast.”

  “Let’s stop at the cafeteria before class,” Athena suggested. “We’ve pretty much missed first period, but we’ve still got time before second period starts.”

  “Good idea,” said Ares. “I could eat a horse. Not the one in Zeus’s painting, though,” he joked lamely.

  Heracles rubbed his stomach. “Let’s go. I’m starving too.”

  As they neared the cafeteria, the gooey remains of a nectar cupcake suddenly dropped from where it had been stuck to the ceiling to land on the floor in front of Aphrodite. Her arms windmilled as she tried to keep her balance and not step in it. Ares caught her arms and gallantly lifted her over the cupcake.

  “My hero,” she teased, but in a grateful tone. She kept a wary eye on the domed ceiling the rest of the way to the cafeteria. In case there were more cupcakes waiting to unstick themselves.

  The ceilings throughout MOA were covered with paintings that never failed to impress her. Paintings that illustrated the glorious exploits of the gods and goddesses. One showed Zeus battling giants that were storming Mount Olympus, carrying torches and spears. Another showed him driving a chariot pulled by four white horses across the sky as he hurled thunderbolts into the clouds.

  Whoever had painted that last scene had really managed to capture the force Zeus used in tossing those thunderbolts, Aphrodite thought. She smiled to herself, thinking that he would be an awesome ally in a food fight.

  A lunch lady with a long snout like an anteater was nosing around the floor of the cafeteria as the foursome pushed through the doors. She was sucking up the last remaining crumbs from the fight. And looking green-faced and icked-out as they followed along behind her with wet mops were none other than Makhai and Kydoimos!

  Athena leaned over to Aphrodite. “I’m guessing those are the consequences my dad mentioned. Pushing those mops.”

  Aphrodite nodded, trying not to smirk at the mop boys. They’d all seen that particular lunch lady in action on other occasions, but still. Ick. She managed to smile at the anteater lady, who gave her a wink and kept on with her work. Makhai and Kydoimos kept their heads down. For once, they had nothing to say.

  Aphrodite and her thre companions grabbed apples and pears from a huge fruit bowl on the snacks table and ambrosia muffins from a large platter.

  As they headed out, munching the snacks, they passed Persephone. She was holding Adonis in her arms.

  “Good. You’re back,” she said to them, sounding relieved. “Here’s the news. Everyone else is still out in the courtyard, where Mr. Cyclops and the cafeteria ladies shooed us after the fight. I snuck in to get Adonis just now. Mom sent a note saying she needs to pick me up early, and it’s my turn to take him. So is it true that Principal Zeus tried to expel all of you?” she finished breathlessly.

  “No!” said Aphrodite.

  “Oh, I’m so glad. That was just Pheme spreading her usual rumors, then,” said Persephone as she led the way outside.

  “There you are!” Artemis yelled when they appeared at the top of the granite steps and started down to the courtyard. She and her crush,Actaeon, had been tossing a ball for her three dogs. But now they and some others ran toward Aphrodite and her friends. As a group of students gathered around to listen, Aphrodite, Athena, Ares, and Heracles quickly explained most of what had gone on in Zeus’s office.

  Hades ran a hand through his dark curls and frowned. “I’ll be glad to see this contest come to an end. There’s too much bad feeling between–”

  “Speaking of which,” interrupted Ares, “has anyone seen Eris?”

  Medusa, who was among the group listening, hooked a thumb over her shoulder toward the side of the courtyard. “I think she’s in the olive grove. My snakes hissed at her when she passed by going that direction a few minutes ago.”

  Aphrodite, Ares, Athena, and Heracles exchanged glances. “Check you later,” Ares announced to the gathered crowd. “We need to go have a word with my sister.”

  “I’ll come too since my mom’s not here yet,” Persephone insisted, with Adonis still cuddled in her arms. Unlike most cats, Adonis loved being around noise and people and was napping away. “I’ll see her chariot when it flies in,”
she added.

  She, Aphrodite, Ares, Athena, and Heracles soon found Eris sitting on a bench in the olive grove. She was rereading the blue letterscroll that had fallen out of her bag the night before, Aphrodite noticed. As they approached, Eris looked up and saw them. Hurriedly, she stuffed the letterscroll back inside her bag.

  “Heard about your little visit with Principal Zeus,” she said to Ares with a smirk. “How did it go?” Obviously, Eris didn’t know that her attempt to pin the blame for the food fight on the four of them had failed.

  Aphrodite was relieved when Ares didn’t rise to the bait. “Fine,” he said evenly. “He’s very pleased with your contest results, by the way.”

  Eris’s smirk wavered and she leaped to her feet. She seemed unsure if she should take her brother’s remark as a compliment–or as a veiled insult. It wasn’t just her smirk that wavered, either. Aphrodite could have sworn that the girl’s height yo-yoed up and down with her uncertainty, too.

  Sweeping the group with a belligerent look, Eris said, “I bet none of you thought I could raise the grades so quickly.”

  “Why would you think that?” Aphrodite started to protest.

  But Ares cut in. “You’ve always been a fast worker,” he said to his sister. “In fact, you’ve done such a great job raising grades already that Principal Zeus has decided to end the contest today.”

  “Which should help ease tensions around here. No more fighting,” said Aphrodite.

  “Today?” Eris echoed. “What? As in now?” She looked at Aphrodite and Athena for confirmation. When both girls nodded, she appeared to shrink a couple of inches before their very eyes. Eris stared at Ares in confusion. “But I just saw Principal Zeus before breakfast and he said–”

  “My dad has been known to change his mind,” Athena interrupted her to say. “You just learn to go with the flow.”

  “Yeah. One of the perks of being King of the Gods and Ruler of the Heavens,” added Heracles.

  “I see,” Eris said. “But what about this?” With a sly glance at Athena and Aphrodite, she reached into her bag and withdrew the golden trophy, setting it in the palm of her hand.

  Immediately, Aphrodite’s fingers itched to touch the prize. Thoughts of their pinky swearing in the cafeteria earlier and of BFFs seemed to fade away for a moment. What was happening?

  She sneaked a peek at Athena and saw that she was gazing longingly at the trophy too, while at the same time clenching and unclenching her fists. No one else seemed bothered. Not even Persephone, who continued to snuggle Adonis in her arms. But then she had never actually touched the trophy.

  “So if the grades competition is over, since my team was ahead, doesn’t that mean I won the trophy?” Athena asked breathlessly.

  Aphrodite frowned. “Not so fast. Makhai and Kydoimos cheated on that Science-ology quiz. Don’t you think we should at least throw out their scores before–” Her words ground to a halt as Ares chose just that moment to grasp her hand. She looked up at him. Immediately, she understood he was trying to warn her that the trophy was affecting her emotions again. And she clammed up.

  Heracles had done the same with Athena, and Athena had clammed up too.

  Unfazed, Eris simply sat on the bench again. Setting the trophy in her lap, she pulled some crumpled sheets of papyrus from her bag. “Let me just consult my point tallies,” she said, grinning up at Athena and Aphrodite. “Want to hold my trophy while I do?”

  Without thinking, both girls reached out. “Don’t,” Persephone cautioned them in a whisper. “She’s only been trying to keep you trophy-tized.”

  Suddenly, a stiff breeze blew into the grove. Whoosh! Eris’s score sheets went flying. “No!” she shouted. Adonis leaped from Persephone’s grasp to land on the bench right next to Eris, surprising them both.

  “Why, hi there, little guy,” Eris cooed to him, forgetting the papers and the trophy for the moment as everyone around her scrambled in vain to catch them. As soon as Adonis realized it was her, he panicked, bristling and hissing. Ssss!

  Leaping off the bench, he raced away. Unfortunately, Artemis had chosen just that moment to enter the grove with her three dogs.

  Though the dogs were used to Adonis by now and normally left him alone, the kitten’s agitation stirred something inside them. They took off after him. And before Artemis could stop them, they’d chased Adonis up an olive tree!

  “Sit. Stay!” Artemis ordered sternly, after she finally managed to corner her dogs. “You guys should be ashamed of yourselves!” she scolded them. Her dogs hung their heads a little and licked her as if to say they were sorry.

  Meanwhile, Aphrodite and Persephone tried to coax Adonis down. Only the kitten wasn’t budging. From about two-thirds of the way up the olive tree, he peered down at them through the leaves and branches, mewing pathetically.

  As soon as the kitten had gotten stuck, Athena had run off to look for Pheme or Eros or some other winged student who could fly to the top of the tree to rescue the kitten. However, she returned minutes later without success. “I brought winged sandals, though,” she announced when she returned.

  “Adonis loves those,” said Aphrodite, shaking her head.

  “Oh, good,” said Athena.

  “No, I mean he thinks they’re birds. If anybody goes up there wearing them, he’ll leap from the tree to grab them and probably fall.”

  Athena groaned. “Anybody got another idea?”

  “That tree must be thirty or forty feet tall. And up near the top, it’s not strong enough for one of us to climb,” said Ares.

  Persephone snapped her fingers. “There should be a ladder near the Academy greenhouse,” she told Heracles and Ares.

  “We’re on it!” Ares yelled. He and Heracles took off in the direction of the greenhouse, which wasn’t far from the grove. Artemis went too, to take her dogs back to her room.

  Mrrowowow! Adonis had begun to yowl piteously. Eris came to stand under the tree, leaving her belongings on the bench. She had shrunk more, Aphrodite noticed. The chiton she was wearing was loose on her now, and its hem hung almost to her ankles. But why?

  Eris gazed wistfully at Adonis high above them. In a small, sad voice she said, “He will do anything to get away from me, won’t he? I scare him.” She twisted her hands together as she peered up into the tree. “It’s all my fault he’s up there.”

  “No, it’s not,” Persephone told her kindly. “Don’t forget. Artemis’s dogs chased him.”

  “Pets act like animals sometimes,” Athena added. “Which they are, of course. Nothing we can do about it.”

  “I wonder what’s taking the boys so long with that ladder,” Aphrodite said anxiously when they didn’t return right away.

  Mrrowowow!

  “Oh, this is awful! Maybe we’ll have to try the winged sandals after all,” said Athena. “And just take a chance that Adonis won’t think they’re birds and leap after them.”

  Aphrodite nodded. “Either that or we’ll have to wait here all night, or longer, for him to come down.”

  Eris cocked her head. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers. “I know how to get Adonis down.” Before Aphrodite, Athena, or Persephone could stop her, she swung herself into the tree.

  “Be careful,” Aphrodite called as Eris scrambled upward, quick as a monkey.

  “Don’t worry,” Eris yelled down to her. “I’ve been climbing trees all my life. Mainly apple trees, though. Just ask Ares.” Then, for some reason, she laughed.

  Aphrodite shrugged. She suspected there were lots of things Ares hadn’t yet told her about Eris. And most of them probably involved her picking on him, poor guy!

  “She won’t be able to get Adonis down,” Persephone whispered to Aphrodite and Athena. “He won’t go near her. In fact, he’ll probably just climb higher when he sees her coming after him.”

  But Eris must have realized that too, because as the nimble girl climbed, she stayed far away from Adonis, keeping out of his sight until she suddenly appeared on a branch a few feet
above the kitten’s head. Then, reaching down toward him, she called out, “Here, kitty, kitty!”

  Of course, Adonis didn’t come. Instead, he reluctantly moved downward, one branch at a time, just so he could keep away from her. Which must have been Eris’s plan from the start! Staying a branch or two above the kitten, she herded him ever lower in the tree until Persephone and Aphrodite were able to reach up to the bottom branches and safely lift him down.

  Eris leaped from the tree just as the boys, accompanied by Hades and Apollo, finally returned with a ladder. Artemis was right behind them. She had brought a blanket they could hold under the tree to catch Adonis in case he fell. Luckily, it wouldn’t be needed now.

  “Three cheers for Eris!” Aphrodite exclaimed to them. “While you were all gone, she climbed up the tree and rescued Adonis.”

  All the girls gave Eris a group hug, calling her a hero. Persephone had been cuddling the kitten and cooing to him, but even she joined in with one arm. And this time Adonis didn’t even hiss around Eris.

  “It was nothing,” Eris insisted, all smiles now. Adonis’s reaction seemed to surprise and please her.

  Just then Persephone spotted her mom’s chariot overhead. Taking Adonis with her, she headed off with Hades and Apollo to meet her. Once they’d gone, and only Athena, Aphrodite, Artemis, Ares, Heracles, and Eris were left behind together, Eris’s demeanor shifted. In a businesslike tone, she picked up her trophy and said, “About that contest. My figures were on those papers that blew away. Without a recount, I don’t think I can declare a winner. So I wonder if Principal Zeus might change his mind again and continue the con–”

  “It should be mine!” Aphrodite blurted. Then she put a hand to her lips, startled to hear herself say the words. Part of her wanted to call them back, but another part–the part that was under the trophy’s enchantment–let the words stand and caused her to speak on. “The inscription on the trophy’s base says For the Fairest,” she quickly told everyone, in case they’d never noticed.

  “So?” Athena said, her tone going icy as talk of the trophy raised her competitive instincts too.