So Far Away

by P. O. Dixon

  This was no time to think of Lady Victoria. He was exceedingly annoyed with her for her uncharitable attitude towards Elizabeth. Unless she learned to curb her tongue, any times that Darcy spent with her in the future would be few and far between. Certainly, he would miss her dearly, but that was how it would be, and she would have no one to blame but herself. He endeavored to rid himself of any thoughts of Lady Victoria. He had spent more than enough time during the trip wondering what had happened to her. Why does the prospect of my being in Hertfordshire and near Elizabeth meet with her disapprobation? Have I not made it perfectly clear to her what Elizabeth means to me, how there is no other woman for me but Elizabeth?

  By now, Darcy and his friend Charles Bingley were standing face to face. They accepted each other’s outstretched hand.

  Bingley’s smile was as bright as the sun. “Darcy, old fellow, I am glad to see you have arrived safely and no worse for wear, I trust. I welcome you back to my home.”

  “It is my pleasure, my friend. I am glad to see you as well. When did you get here?”

  Bingley said, “I arrived this morning. Overall, I would have to say it was a very pleasant trip. Of course, I only had to travel from town. After such a long journey from Derbyshire, I imagine you must be eager for a change in attitude.”

  Miss Bingley approached the gentlemen and curtsied. “Mr. Darcy, how lovely it is to see you again.”

  Darcy bowed slightly. “Miss Bingley. The pleasure is all mine.”

  Completely ignoring her brother and rather behaving as though Darcy was her special guest, she laced her arm through his and persuaded him to walk with her as they proceeded to the house.

  “What a lovely time we shall have with all of us being together here at Netherfield Park just as we were last year. I only wish we might confine ourselves to our immediate party, for I so detest the much embellished pleasantries of Charles’ country neighbors. But, alas, I suspect they will soon come calling. Let us make the most of our time together before the onslaught.” She looked up at him and batted her eyelashes. “What say you, Mr. Darcy?”

  “Perhaps you will give me leave to retire to my apartment for a while.”

  Bingley said, “Why, of course. You must take all the time you would like.”

  “I shall require just a short while to refresh myself after my long journey. I shall then meet you in—shall we say in the billiards room? It’s been far too long since I bested you in the sport.”

  “I wager you will not meet with the same level of success that you have in the past.”

  Darcy chuckled. “You speak with a great deal of confidence, my friend, as though you know something I don’t.”

  “I have a few tricks I’ve kept hidden, and you will not see them coming.”

  Caroline was not having any of this. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, Mr. Darcy, you shall do no such thing as you suggest. The two of you shall have all the time in the world to enjoy your sport. We had much better all gather in the drawing room, for you will not believe my delicious news, Mr. Darcy. It has to do with that horrible Bennet family and one particular young woman whom we all know with her particularly fine eyes.”

  Darcy shook his head. And so it begins.

  Miss Caroline Bingley’s joy over Elizabeth’s plight struck a chord of disdain in Darcy. She seemed outright giddy at the prospect of discussing what had unfolded. That is her way, but does she expect me to rejoice in the unfortunate turn of events for people whom I hold dear to my heart?

  Darcy rolled his eyes to the ceiling as he made his way up the winding staircase to his apartment. This is going to be a long day.

  ~*~

  Pleasing thoughts of her time with Mr. Darcy occurred to Elizabeth regularly of late. She supposed it had to do with the knowledge that Mr. Bingley was returning and her curiosity as to whether Darcy would be joining him. Now that she knew Mr. Darcy had indeed joined Bingley’s party and he was but three short miles away, she could hardly wait to see him. The thought of seeing him again kept her awake most of the night, until finally she decided an early morning walk was the thing she needed to give her mind a most necessary diversion.

  The morning air was chillier than she had expected. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her shoulders. Walking along, she imagined what it would be like to be enveloped in Mr. Darcy’s warm embrace.

  If she were lucky, she might once again know what it was like to feel the touch of his lips on her face, her lips. Inwardly laughing at her wanton thoughts, she doubted either of them would allow things to progress that far during their initial encounter. What if we were to meet on such a morning as this, when it would be just the two of us, free to indulge such fantasies?

  As the morning sun began poking through the clouds, a man she knew to be Darcy came from out of nowhere, much to Elizabeth’s surprise as well as her delight. Who else could it be? No other man moved quite the way he did. She had not expected to see him so soon. She had meant for this to be an early morning walk where she would be all by herself, a quiet escape from Longbourn before her family stirred and commenced going about the new day.

  The day before had passed, and no one from Netherfield had called on Longbourn. Mrs. Bennet was beside herself with worry, and she had even demanded that Mr. Bennet must call on Netherfield first in order that she and her daughters might then do the same. All the talk was that there were more people in the party other than Bingley, his two sisters, and his brother-in-law. Indeed, another illustrious person had joined the party—Mr. Darcy of Pemberley and Derbyshire.

  Elizabeth was now seeing him alive and in person for the first time since they had parted at Pemberley with an unspoken promise between them. A tentative step from him, a pensive step from her, and moments later they were in each other’s arms.

  He had dreamed of seeing her for so long, and now here she was in his arms. Were they declared to each other, he would lift her face to his and kiss her lips, tenderly at first and then with abandonment. However, no such declaration existed between them, not yet, and even though there was no one but them at this beautiful place in the ever-constant rising sun, he knew he ought not to be holding her like this. Releasing her from his arms was beyond his power.

  At length, her hands fell to her sides. Darcy, sensing the absence of her gentle touch, seized both her hands in his. They gazed into each other’s eyes. “I have missed you.”

  Elizabeth spoke softly. “I have missed you too.”

  “Are those tears that I see?” He brushed his thumb across her chin. “Why are you crying?”

  Freeing her hand, Elizabeth wiped her tears away. “You must forgive me, sir. It’s just that we have been apart for so long, and I know I asked for this time so I might sort out my feelings about all that has happened in my life, but when my brother – when Avery – told me about your accident, I began to imagine all manner of horrible things. The worst one of all was that I might never see you again and yet here you are and I—I simply could not be happier and so you see, sir…”

  How beautiful the ring of her voice sounded to him. The thought that his absence may have caused her pain was too much to bear. He placed his finger on her lips, thus interrupting her passionate declaration. “Yes, I am here. I am sorry you worried. I would have been here sooner were it not for the carriage accident. That was just one of many things that conspired to keep me from joining you here in Hertfordshire. None of that is important at this time. Instead, I simply want to hold you a while longer, and then we can talk. Will you allow me that pleasure?”

  Elizabeth nodded and soon she was once again in his loving arms. Being in his arms that way felt just as it ought to. He was there. He had come all that way to be with her again. Not wanting to read more into his being there than was warranted, for she was still not confident he would accept her Bennet family, she decided now was not the time to do anything but enjoy being with him. No other man of her acquaintance had the power over her that this man commanded. It had been that way for as long as she had known hi
m. Despite his accident, he appeared no worse for wear for indeed she had imagined all manner of things had befallen him, from the loss of a limb to scars marring his beautiful face, even blindness. Here stood the man as he had always been, and she counted herself happy.

  Remembrances of the many intimacies they had shared in his dreams sought to intrude on their quiet moment, prompting Darcy to relinquish Elizabeth from his tender embrace.

  They commenced walking along side by side, she with her arms folded in front of her, and he with his hands tucked behind his back.

  “Despite my taking so long, you have to know I would allow nothing to keep us apart. I’ve vowed to wait for you until you are ready, but I can wait in Hertfordshire just as well as I can wait miles and miles away in Derbyshire.” Stopping, he took her gloved hand in his and raised it to his lips. “How are you adjusting to your new circumstances?”

  “All in all, my time has been wonderful, but it has not always been this way.”

  “How so?”

  “You cannot imagine how hard it is for me to listen to the vile words that so easily flow from well-intentioned people’s mouths about my grandfather—about His Grace. You see, I have not yet taught myself to hate him, despite what he has done.” She searched Darcy’s eyes for a modicum of much needed understanding. “Does that make any sense? Am I to be presumed as being mad because I do not hate His Grace?”

  “I would not venture to say you are out of your mind, if that’s what you mean, but one might expect a fair degree of anger towards the late duke on your part.”

  “Yes, I can admit to my share of anger. However, my anger does not translate into hate or even unshakeable resentment. The truth is I love him still, I miss him and I think of him every day.”

  “No doubt, you and your grandfather—” he paused “—His Grace, were exceedingly close. Pray, how do you get along with Mr. Bennet?”

  “I love him—just as I love all my Bennet relations. Loving them is as easy as it is natural. They are by no means perfect. Of course, I do not need to tell you that. But, despite my family’s imperfections, there is goodness in all of them, and I am so proud to call the Bennets my family.”

  Darcy rested his forehead against hers. It sounded if she were in no hurry to leave her newfound life behind, which he supposed must be a good thing for her in that she was happy, but it meant that much longer before the two of them could start their lives together in Derbyshire.

  “I hope this does not meet with your displeasure, sir. It’s just that I would like to suppose that I can talk to you more freely than I can with everyone else I know.”

  “Does that include Avery? I always supposed the two of you were very close.”

  “And we are, but there are some things I am not comfortable confiding in him.”

  “Things? What manner of things?”

  “Things that have to do with our family—my place in the family.”

  “And yet you feel comfortable confiding in me?”

  “Indeed, as you are as close to an impartial observer as I know. I do not get the sense that you would judge me harshly for sentiments that are not to be considered natural, if that makes any sense.”

  “I am glad you feel you can confide in me, Elizabeth, and I will not betray your confidence to anyone. You must never hesitate to speak your mind when you are with me. I am here for you. I shall be forever at your service.”

  Chapter 13 ~ Speaking in Jest

  Alone in Bingley’s study, Darcy sat in a comfortable chair by the fireplace, dreaming of the enchanted morning he had spent with the beautiful woman with the most bewitching eyes. His thoughts were quite unlike what had actually unfolded between them during their chance meeting hours earlier. Just as had been the case during his laudanum-induced dreams at Pemberley, this dream was incredibly vivid.

  Even in his dream state, he hated the thought that he might awaken any moment and find himself once again all alone—as always. He meant to enjoy this as long as he could. Kissing her about her face and her long, slender neckline would not do, for he felt too passionately not to leave evidence of their lovemaking, and thus he enfolded her in his embrace and lowered her to the ground. Enjoying the sensations of her soft body against his hard body, he commenced kissing her moist, pleasing lips – the sweetest wine he had ever tasted – and, at length, making her his in every way again and again.

  Bingley’s butler entered the room and thus interrupted Darcy’s pleasing dream. “Mr. Thomas Bennet of Longbourn asks to see you this morning, sir.”

  Startled, after what he had just experienced, Darcy’s first thought was that he ought to be on his knees beseeching Mr. Bennet for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Allowing a second to clear his head, he stood from his chair and straightened his coat. “Please show the gentleman inside.”

  The butler did as he was bade, which gave Darcy a moment to ponder the reason he was receiving a visit from Elizabeth’s father so early in the day. Unless the gentleman is aware of our early morning chance encounter.

  Mr. Bennet entered the room. “Mr. Darcy, it is a pleasure to see you again.”

  “Indeed, sir. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”

  “It seems that I owe you a deep debt of gratitude, sir. I do not think I can ever repay you for being the means of reuniting my Lizzy with my family and me.”

  Darcy held up his hand. “You owe me nothing, sir.”

  “On the contrary—I owe you a great deal. Were these the days of ancient times long since gone by, I would be obliged to offer you your choice from among my five lovely daughters.”

  Darcy colored. He always supposed that Mr. Bennet was an odd mixture of whim and caprice, and someone who enjoyed making sport of others, but what if the older man knew more than he was letting on? Not that he would mind, for Darcy had every intention of marrying Elizabeth. However, he knew enough about her to know that now was not the time, for she had practically hinted as much when they parted earlier—she still needed time with her family before leaving them to spend her life with him.

  Mr. Bennet must have read in Darcy’s face his astonishment. “Fear not, young man, for I am merely speaking in jest. However, I have a favor to ask of you, and I pray you’re of a mind to grant it.”

  “I shall do my best, sir. What is it that you wish to ask of me?”

  “It has to do with the discussion we had when you and I talked all those months ago at Longbourn. Did you have any indication at the time that you were in possession of information that might lead to my daughter’s return?”

  Before Darcy could fashion a reply, Mr. Bennet said, “Now you must tell me all the particulars. When did you begin to suspect there might be a connection? My brother Gardiner told me what he could, but, with all due respect, his was no more than a second hand account laced with heightened emotions of joy and elation. I would much prefer to hear a less impassionate account from you.”

  Darcy offered the older man the seat opposite his and then did his best to oblige Mr. Bennet by telling him what he knew and when he knew it. Once he had satisfied all Mr. Bennet’s questions, he was ready for a drink—but it was still early in the day for libations of the sort he had in mind.

  When Mr. Bennet was ready to take his leave, he said, “I do not wish to speak out of turn, but I would like to suppose that your being here in Hertfordshire once more is not merely for the sake of visiting your friend Bingley at his country estate.”

  “Sir, you suppose correctly, but I am not at liberty to talk about that just now. Pray you understand.”

  “I respect your right to privacy, young man, but there is a particular adage that my wife is especially fond of, and it goes something like this: a single man in possession of a large fortune surely must be in want of a wife.”

  Peeping over his spectacles, Mr. Bennet continued, “Should your purposes for being here in Hertfordshire have anything at all to do with deciding upon a wife, I would say that you have my hearty consent to marry whichever of my daughters
you choose.”

  ~*~

  Darcy and Bingley entered the parlor and saw that all the ladies of Longbourn were assembled. Included in their party was yet another familiar face—Lady Sophia Montlake.

  Darcy truly had eyes for but one of the room’s occupants. How pleased he was that the seat next to her was unoccupied. If only it were solely the two of them in the room. He would take her in his arms and recommence where they had left off earlier.

  Elizabeth was thankful that her mama was on her best behavior that morning and she supposed that she was acting in that manner in deference to Lady Sophia’s presence. If there was one thing that concerned Elizabeth, it was her mama’s none too subtle reference earlier that Mr. Darcy’s being in Hertfordshire meant that Kitty might indeed stand a chance at garnering his attention. Kitty protested that just as it was before, so it was now; she wanted nothing to do with the proud man.

  Why would Mama suppose otherwise? And what would her mother think if she knew the true reason for Mr. Darcy’s being there? A rather unsettling thought then occurred to her. Could her mother have been playing the part of an eager matchmaking mother when Mr. Darcy was first in Hertfordshire? Was that the reason he did not hold her in the highest esteem?

  True, ever since he entered the room he had been the perfect gentleman. He did all that was required of him to convincingly act the part of an eager caller, but she knew him well enough to know that being in Longbourn with her mama and her sisters was the last place in the world he wanted to be, and the only reason he was even there was for her sake.

  The guests had not long since arrived when Mrs. Bennet proposed that Jane and Bingley take a walk. She strongly hinted that Kitty walk with Mr. Darcy as well, but Kitty objected.