by Emily Woods
“I don't know if I'll ever marry,” he said quietly. “But if I do, she'll have to be a real country woman, doing heavy chores like laundry and the like.”
Georgina had been more subdued than he'd ever seen her. “And you really don't think you'll hire a woman to do those kinds of things? They don't cost that much. Why, our Fanny barely costs Wesley anything. Beyond her keep, she's satisfied with just a little.”
“No, I won't be hiring anyone as long as Valerie is able to stay on. Once she and Thomas start a family, then the other men and I will have to take turns.”
“It's quite strange to me that you help out in the kitchen,” she stated, her lips turning downward. “But all your ways are peculiar to me.”
“Funny that we live in the same country, but have such different ways. I guess it's because the United States is so big. I heard that in Europe, it only takes six or eight hours to pass through one country into the next by train. Here, you can't cross one state in that amount of time.”
She seemed not to hear him. “I still think you could hire a woman to help out in the kitchen. As you said, Valerie won't be able to stay on forever. There must be women in town who would like a job like this.”
“I'm afraid any decent single woman wouldn't last too long on a ranch.” When she gave him a strange look, he elaborated. “She'd be married inside of a week, or at least she'd constantly be asked. It wouldn't be much of a life for her, either.”
“But surely an older woman...” She wasn't going to give up very easily.
“There aren't even many older women around. A single woman in the West is a rarity.”
Georgina eyed him carefully. “Women like the schoolteacher?” she asked.
Shifting in his seat a little, Carl nodded. Even though he tried to appear indifferent, he was sure anyone could see right through him. “Exactly. I'm sure she's had many proposals already, probably even a few from the men on my ranch.”
“But she's turned them all down?”
He didn't really want to talk about Amanda with Georgina, but she continued to watch his reaction. “I think she doesn't want to marry,” he finally said.
By the time they arrived at the house, he was mentally and emotionally exhausted. He hoped that he'd made his intentions clear, but then she invited him in.
“Tomorrow is another work day for me,” he said in way of an excuse. “I still need to be early.”
At that moment, Wesley appeared. “Hello, Mister Bowman. I see that you've brought my sister back safely. I appreciate that.”
There was a touch of condescension in Wesley's voice, but Carl tried not to take any notice. “Yes, well, we like to make sure the women are well taken care of.”
“I was just trying to persuade Mister Bowman to come in for a moment, but he declares that he must be off.”
“Nonsense,” Wesley argued. “Anyone has ten minutes for a brandy and a cigar. Come in, young man. I don't believe you've ever been inside before, have you?”
Carl had to admit to himself that he was curious about the inside of the grand house that had taken almost a year to build. Wesley had imported many items from back home and made extensive use of nearby lumber. The result was an imposing home that was easily double the size of any other in the area.
“Well, I neither smoke nor drink, sir. But I wouldn't mind seeing your home.”
Between the two of them, they showed Carl around and talked to him extensively about his own ranch and his plans for the future. Although he was thoroughly impressed by the house and its contents, he found himself anxious to get away. The brother and sister's behavior was mildly unsettling. Why were they asking so many questions? He knew that Wesley had wanted the Johnson ranch for himself. Was he trying to get Carl to sell it to him? And what about Georgina? Had he succeeded in convincing her that he wasn't the right man for her?
These questions and more plagued him all the way home, and all he could do was pray that God would show him the way he was meant to go and trust that all would go according to His plan.
Amanda tried not to notice the minutes tick by after school on Friday. She was eagerly waiting for Carl to show up, but it had already been more than twenty minutes since she'd dismissed the children. Had something happened to him?
Finally, she heard footsteps on the stairs, but she looked down and pretended to be engrossed in her marking. She didn't want to let him know she'd been anxiously awaiting him. Despite her intentions, she felt herself being more and more drawn to him.
“Good afternoon, Miss Walker,” a very feminine voice greeted her. Amanda started a little, but then forced herself to smile at Georgina.
“Hello, Miss Crawford. How are you?” She didn't say that it was unexpected to see her or any such thing. It was obvious that the woman was here for a reason. “How can I help you?”
The direct question seemed to take her off guard a bit and Amanda saw her confidence slip for just a second. However, it quickly came back up and an indulgent smile stretched across her face.
“Actually, I'm here to help you, Miss Walker.”
Her tone belied her words, but Amanda kept her countenance even. “How is that?”
Georgina walked to the front of the classroom, her head down as she lightly touched one desk and then another, not answering right away. Amanda wondered if she was doing it for effect or if she was nervous.
“It has come to my attention that you and Mister Bowman have been spending some time together,” she started, looking up with a questioning expression.
“Oh?” Amanda replied, neither confirming nor denying. What business was it of hers? She wouldn't reveal the nature of Carl's visits to this woman.
“Yes, and I thought I should inform you that we have an understanding, Mister Bowman and I.”
Amanda's jaw tightened a little and her eyes narrowed slightly. “I see.”
Her abrupt responses must have thrown the other woman, because she hesitated before continuing. “Well, I just thought I'd come by and let you know. I don't want you to get your hopes up.”
“That's kind of you,” Amanda replied coolly, while inside, a tornado was playing havoc with her heart and stomach.
Georgina pursed her lips and blinked several times. “I'm not quite sure you understand me, my dear Miss Walker. I just think it's not appropriate for you and my, uh, intended to...”
“I understand you just fine,” she interrupted. “But I have one question.” Georgina pulled herself up and tilted her head to the side, waiting. “Have you spoken to Mister Bowman about his visits with me?”
Fidgeting with the end of her parasol, Georgina narrowed her eyes and gave her a hard look. “I don't want to upset him by letting him know that his behavior is not appropriate. He's just a simple man, but I expect that you understand, don't you? I'd rather not embarrass him.”
“But you don't mind embarrassing me?” she said before she could stop herself. “Very well. Yes, I understand you. Now, if that will be all? I have quite a lot of work to do.” She stood and looked pointedly at the door.
Completely without shame, Georgina gave her a small nod. “I'll leave you to it then. Good day.”
The moment she was gone, Amanda sank back down on her seat, quaking like a leaf about to fall from a tree. Had she really misunderstood Carl so badly? Did he just view her as a tutor and nothing more?
At that moment, she heard an exchange of greetings and realized that Carl must have bumped into Georgina in front of the school. Quietly, she crept to the entrance and strained to hear their conversation.
“She's frightfully busy as the moment, Mister Bowman,” Georgina cooed. “You wouldn't want to interrupt a working woman.”
“Uh, well, she's expecting me,” he said in return. “I'm pretty sure...”
“I think she's quite forgotten that you're coming. She just told me that she has quite a lot of work to do. But since you find yourself otherwise unoccupied, perhaps you could accompany me home? I'm feeling rather tired after my long walk.�
��
There was a pause in which Amanda desperately hoped Carl would refuse and come in anyway. In that moment, she felt he was making a decision between the two of them, and her heart fell when she heard his reply.
“Of course I'll see you home, Miss Crawford.” He said something else, but she didn't hear it. Amanda raced up to the front of the class and sat herself down at her desk, burying herself in a stack of papers. When Carl poked his head in around the door, she didn't even look up.
“Uh, Miss Walker?” he said tentatively. “You look right busy.”
“Yes,” she replied without looking up. “I am.”
“Uh, okay then. I'll, um, talk to you later?”
She glanced up, but he was just a blur. Giving him a brief nod, she returned to her papers. “I expect you will. Good day.”
And then he was gone, she feared forever.
Chapter 13
Carl was taken aback by Amanda's abrupt behavior, but decided that Georgina must have gotten it right. She was busy and their lesson would have to be postponed. Still, he was surprised that she'd been so dismissive. Had he done something wrong?
Georgina continued to prattle in his ear about something or other, but he couldn't focus on what she was saying. He nodded whenever she paused to give the appearance of listening, but his mind kept wandering back to Amanda. Should he go back and talk to her after he dropped Georgina off? Maybe there was something he could help her with. But what?
When the Crawford ranch came into view, Carl tried to pay attention to what Georgina was saying.
“Your home will be just lovely after it's redecorated. I know just what to do. Don't you worry about a thing.”
“What?” he asked, startled at the direction of the conversation. Georgina pouted a little.
“Don't tell me you haven't been listening,” she said, her eyes wide with disappointment.
“Uh, well, my mind may have drifted for a few seconds.” He rapidly tried to recall the last thing he'd heard her say. “Um, you were saying something about the house needed curtains?”
Now the corners of her mouth trembled a little. “That was more than five minutes ago. You seemed like you were open to my suggestions about making some improvements to your house in order to make it more homey. Don't tell me that you didn't mean it?”
Her eyes filled up with tears and he wasn't sure what to say. What had he agreed to and how could he get out of it now?
“I'm real sorry, Miss Crawford. My mind was somewhere else and I'm afraid I didn't hear you quite right. Uh, I don't think it would be proper for you to do that. I might marry someday and my future wife should probably have that job.”
The tears spilled over onto her cheeks, and she barely waited for the wagon to stop before jumping down. Astonished, he watched her rush into the house and bang the door behind her.
He'd barely had time to begin to wonder what had happened when Wesley flung the door open, his face dark with anger.
“What have you said to my sister?” he raged. “Why is she in tears?”
“I-I...” He couldn't form an answer. What had he done? “I don't know.”
“Well, there must be something!” he continued, crossing his arms and giving him a hard look. “Did you break your engagement?”
Carl's mouth fell open as he clutched the reins. “Our...our...”
“Why are you acting like a fool, man? Answer me!”
A ringing started in his ears, and Carl felt the edges of vision blur. Head pounding, he merely shook his head, not as answer but in denial of the whole situation. However, his action seemed to pacify Wesley. His face looked less menacing, although he continued to frown.
“I see. Well, I imagine it's some kind of lovers’ spat then. Perhaps you should leave now and come back when you're ready to apologize.”
With that, he turned on his heel and stalked back into the house, leaving Carl to stare after him.
What in the world had just happened?
Even though he didn’t think it through, he knew he had to see Amanda before things got worse. For better or worse, he had to tell her how he felt.
Amanda finally had composed herself enough to leave the schoolhouse and was just in the process of walking to the teacherage behind the building when she heard a wagon rolling up. It was Carl.
“Amanda!” he called out, jumping down before even setting the brake. She debated whether or not to respond, but decided it would be childish to pretend she hadn't heard.
“Mister Bowman,” she replied cordially as he approached. “Did you forget something?”
He shook his head, his eyes wide with confusion. “I just...I just don't know what's happening. I'm in some kind of mess and I don't know what to do.”
“Well, perhaps your fiancée can help you figure it out. I'm not sure how I can help you.” She turned on her heel and strode towards the small house that was just barely visible near the edge of the woods.
“But...I...you...” He couldn't seem to get a sentence out. “I'm not engaged!” he finally blurted out. “At least, I don't think I am.”
She froze and then slowly turned around. “You're not?” she asked quietly, her eyes closing for a moment.
“I don't ever remember proposing. You'd think a man would remember something like that!”
“You'd think,” she whispered. Very deliberately, she walked toward him. “Carl, what does Miss Crawford mean to you? Are you sweet on her? You can tell me.”
“No!” he practically shouted at her. “I'm not sweet on her, not her. I'm sweet on...” He looked at her and closed his mouth. She watched him take in a long breath and blow it out again. “I'm sweet on you.”
All the air left her lungs and Amanda stumbled a little. Quick as a snake, Carl reached out an arm to steady her.
“You are?” she managed to ask. “Really? But I'm so...”
“Beautiful,” he finished. “And kind, and patient, and funny.”
She gave a short laugh. “I'm not funny.”
“Well, maybe not in the usual way, but I think so.”
Her heart trembled at his words, and she looked up into his handsome face. “You are all those things too.”
“You think I'm beautiful?” he asked with a grin and then laughed. “See? You are funny.”
He took a step toward her, and she could tell by the look on his face that he was about to kiss her, but she held up a hand to hold him off.
“No.”
“No?” His hurt expression was nearly her undoing, but it wasn't right.
“There is a woman who somehow believes that you are her fiancé. I don't know if she's lying to me or to herself, but either way, this needs to be settled before...well, before anything else.”
Disappointment that mirrored her own flooded his face, but he nodded, taking the hand she’d held up and holding it in his own. “Yeah, I guess so. Her tears seemed real enough. I, uh, don't know what I said, or maybe what I didn't say, that would make her believe that, but I guess I need to get it settled.”
His hand felt rough, but was warm, and held hers so tenderly that she wanted to cry. She'd barely accepted the fact that she didn't need to suffer for the rest of her life than this man showed up with very clear intentions. It was almost too much to take in. Part of her wanted to fling herself at him and show him how much she felt, but the memory of Georgina's uncertainty stopped her.
“I'll go talk to her,” she found herself saying.
“No, I should. It's my mistake.”
Amanda shook her head. “Men can say things that confuse a situation and make it worse. I'm sorry, but it's true,” she added when his mouth opened to defend himself. “In any case, you've already made her cry today. I think I'd better be the one to see what's going on.”
She saw his jaw clench and a stubborn look came into his eyes. “I don't much like the idea of you doing my dirty work for me.”
“Oh, don't you worry about that. I suspect I'll be asking you to do quite a bit for me before too long,�
�� she teased gently. “But this kind of thing needs to come from a woman. We don't want her to be more hurt than she already is.”
Finally, she managed to convince him, but he drove her to the Crawford ranch. There was a comfortable silence between them as they each dreamed of what the future held. Then a question popped into her mind.
“Why did you drive your wagon over? Last time, you just came on foot.”
She saw him blush a little. “I was hoping to take you out for a little ride after to see the rest of my land. I thought...well, I thought I might ask if you'd let me court you.”
Tenderness rose up in her chest for this shy, sweet man. “Let's get this figured out first, and then maybe you can ask me.”
Giving her a little nod, he stopped the wagon a fair piece away from the main house and then jumped out to help her down. “It might be better if I don't drive right on up. You don't mind the walk?”
She shook her head and was amazed by his thoughtfulness for a woman he barely knew. “No, not at all. It will give me time to think about what I want to say...and to pray. Please pray for me too. Pray that God will bless my talk and that we…well, that He has plans for us.” She blushed as the last words came out of her mouth.
Releasing a long breath, he stared into her face. “Woman, you have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now.”
Her stomach clenched and she gave him a watery smile. “Hold that thought,” she murmured, giving him a small smile before turning toward the house. “Just hold on to it a little bit longer.”
It only took ten minutes to walk to the house, but Amanda made each one of those minutes count, alternating between praying and rehearsing what she wanted to say. By the time she reached the door, she was nearly sick with anxiety, but she felt that God was with her so she had courage.
Her knock was answered quickly by the same woman she'd seen the last time she was here.
“Good evening,” she said softly. “Josephine, right? How are you today?”
The woman’s face crinkled into a smile. “Just fine, ma'am. It's a pleasure to see you. Are you here to talk to Mister Crawford?”