It took only a moment for him to move into action and he ran back into the house. “This can’t be happening!” he screamed.
He took the stairs two at a time and stopped at the top in Nicole’s room. There was no sign of his daughter and he shook his head. Was she with Kyla? He rushed back into his bedroom, shoving past Jasmine. “Get out of here!” he screamed as he went to his closet.
Jasmine froze. She knew that Jefferson would be upset at first. But she hadn’t expected him to turn on her. Her words sounded tight. “Jefferson, don’t blame me. This is not my fault. I didn’t do this alone.”
His eyes opened wide and he snapped at her in disbelief. “Jasmine, get out of my bed! Get out of my house!” His eyes glassed over and he looked right through her. “Jasmine . . . please . . . just . . . leave,” he said lowering his voice and speaking the words deliberately as he tried to maintain some semblance of calm. He knew her words were true. He was to blame.
“You’re right,” he continued. “This wasn’t your fault. But you have to leave. This was a mistake.” Picking up his keys, he ran from the room.
When she heard the garage door close, Jasmine stood at the bay window. This window gave her the same view as the one in the guest bedroom—the one she had looked out of earlier when she heard the car drive up and saw Kyla getting out of the cab. Now, she watched Jefferson pull his Range Rover onto the street and speed away. She strolled back to the bed and lay back on the silk sheets.
She rolled her arms and legs across the sheets and marveled at their softness. She never had these kinds of things and for a moment allowed herself to wonder if her life would be different now.
This was working out even better than she had planned, though she would have preferred a few more rendezvous with Jefferson, just to solidify her hold. But she knew that wouldn’t be a problem now. Kyla’s unexpected arrival had changed everything. What a coup!
She pulled the comforter completely over her naked body and remembered how this wonderful morning had begun.
With the memory of last night still fresh, she had rolled over, reaching for Jefferson only to find the other side of the bed empty. She had sat up when he walked into the room.
His eyes had fixed on her for a moment and then he had turned away. “Please cover up. We need to talk.” His voice had been taut.
“Jefferson, last night was so special for me . . .” She had reached for his hands.
He had pulled back. “Jasmine, get dressed. You can use the guest bathroom and then we have to talk.”
“Okay . . . I just thought . . .” But before she could finish, he had walked out, ignoring her words.
She had sighed with disappointment. Kyla wasn’t coming home until tonight and she had planned to spend the entire day in bed. They had made love only once last night before he had rolled away as if he were in some kind of mental agony, but she had intended to seduce him again this morning.
Now as she watched him walk away, her body raced with adrenaline. “Okay, think, Jasmine. Think. What to do next?” After a few moments, she had just shaken her head. She’d just have to wait until they talked, see where he was coming from. That would be okay, she had told herself. She had seized the opportunity last night and it had worked. Now, to take this further, she would need a plan. Married men were so easy the first time. Keeping them on the hook took special planning.
Picking up her slip, she had gone back into the guest bedroom. That was when she’d seen Kyla and had made sure that Kyla had seen her.
Well, she had gotten what she wanted and now she decided to leave before Jefferson returned. There was no need to irritate him. If she played this right, he would be back in her arms in no time. After the night they’d had, he would call her at his first sign of loneliness.
As she dressed, her gaze settled on the wedding picture of Kyla and Jefferson sitting on the bureau. She bit her lip and turned away quickly. She slipped into her shoes and then walked from the bedroom out of the house, not understanding the loneliness that seemed to suddenly engulf her. Just like when Kenny left.
She shook her head. “Why am I feeling like this?” She had won the ultimate prize, but the moment didn’t feel victorious.
“Stop it!” she scolded herself. “I just have to focus on the fact that now I’ll have everything I’ve wanted. If I do this right, I could be Mrs. Jefferson Blake.” She got in her car and pulled into the street, shuddering with emotions that she couldn’t quite understand.
Nine
* * *
Kyla sped down the streets, smearing her tears across her face with the back of her hands. For the last hour, she’d been weaving through the city without a destination. Passing a freeway entrance ramp, she swerved, made an illegal U-turn and got on. She wasn’t sure if she was going north or south. It really didn’t matter.
Increasing her speed to seventy miles an hour, she set the cruise control. The freeway was Sunday-morning light. Most people had not even begun to stir, yet in the first few hours of this new day where the sun was already threatening to shine in its full glory, a lifetime had passed her by. Her tears built, pouring forth as the morning rewound, fast-forwarded, then rewound in her mind.
For a moment, Kyla felt the urge to see Nicole. She wanted to hold her child and she needed to be held—as a child. There was no doubt her parents would be there for her. But how was she going to tell them that the man they loved as a son, the father of their grandchild, had committed adultery . . . with her best friend!
“How could they do this to me?” It was still impossible for her to believe. Both Jefferson and Jasmine loved her and would never do anything to hurt her. But they did. “How long had this been going on?” She searched her brain, trying to think back over the years, trying to remember every occasion when the three of them had been together. She tried to remember a look, a touch—and then it all became clear. This was why Jasmine stayed at their house so often. Her chest ached as she thought of them together while she was asleep in her bedroom.
She wondered if they had been together the entire time she’d been in Santa Barbara. Probably. That’s why Jasmine’s car was in the garage—she had moved in for the weekend. Why would the man she had given her heart to do this to her?
She began to tire and she knew she had to stop. Go somewhere, but where? To her parents? No, she wasn’t ready to tell them yet. And Alexis was with Brian today. There was only one place left to go . . . but she would never go back to that house. Deciding to exit the freeway, she noticed a hotel at the base of the ramp. She turned into the parking lot and stopped her car in front of the bright pink building. She didn’t even know what city she was in.
She sat staring out the car window, trying to find answers to the questions that haunted her. Her fingers rubbed the gold heart around her neck. What would happen to her now? What would happen to Nicole? Why would Jefferson give up everything they had? Did he really love Jasmine?
The trembling began at the soles of her feet and swelled to the top of her head. She wanted to go inside the hotel, to be alone, but her limbs were immobile. Seconds passed, minutes ticked by, it could have been an hour. But time didn’t matter; she felt like it would never matter again. And as the sobs crawled up inside, she released them freely as her life crumbled to small pieces inside her heart.
Jefferson glanced once again at the clock on his dashboard, as he’d been doing every five minutes for the last two and a half hours. He didn’t know what time had to do with anything, but somehow he felt more secure keeping track of it. That was all he seemed to be able to control right now.
The vision of his wife in their bedroom wouldn’t leave his mind. How could he have been so stupid? This was never supposed to happen to him. Not just because he loved Kyla dearly and not just because when he had taken his marriage vows, he meant to keep them until the day he died. But because he was a Christian. “I’m a Christian,” he said aloud, as if he needed to remind himself.
He shook his head in disbelief, not understa
nding at all what had happened. One minute Jasmine was there, the next they were in bed together. He didn’t understand how he had fallen, how he could have yielded.
Once again, he glanced at the clock, but his hope had already begun to falter. He’d been driving the streets of Los Angeles, checking everywhere he thought Kyla could be. He had driven past the clinic, past their favorite restaurants, had talked to the doorman at Alexis’ building. She was nowhere to be found. And what about Nicole? Was she with Kyla? Had she come home to find him in his shame? Maybe she was with Alexis, or still in Santa Barbara. And why had Kyla come home early? Why did this have to happen to him? The answerless questions flooded and overpowered him.
A thought rushed to his mind. Maybe Kyla had returned home. Without anywhere else to go, maybe she’d taken Nicole back there. Feeling a ray of hope, he increased his speed, weaving carelessly through the streets, arriving home within ten minutes. As he turned the corner, he could see that the garage door was up, and he pressed down on the accelerator, sure that Kyla had returned.
But as he turned into the driveway, it was empty. Then he remembered. Jasmine had left the door open. Kyla had not been back at all. He sat inside his car, not having the energy to move into the garage. He couldn’t go inside. It would only remind him of what he’d done and he couldn’t handle that right now.
He pounded his fist against the steering wheel, then leaned his head down. What was he going to do? All the feelings he’d been fighting to keep at bay since this morning rushed forward. And, now with all hope gone, he finally broke down.
He cried gut-wrenching sobs, the way only a grown man could cry. His shoulders heaved, revealing the acute pain that tore at his center. He cried, wondering where was his precious Kyla. He cried, wondering what would happen to his life now. He cried for the poor example he had set as a man of God. He didn’t think about passing neighbors; his emotions flowed, emitting the shame, pain, and anguish that had been stored inside from the moment he had touched Jasmine, even before Kyla had found him with her.
Unsure of how much time had passed, not caring anyway, he finally lifted his head. As he did, he heard a voice, though he wasn’t sure where it came from. He looked through the windshield to the sky and the words came clearly. My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. After a few minutes, Jefferson dried his tears.
He ran into the house, to their bedroom, then stopped when he saw the dull light on the answering machine—no messages. Hanging his head, he fell to his knees.
“Dear Lord,” he prayed. “My first prayer is that you keep Kyla and Nicole. Please keep my loved ones safe, Heavenly Father. Keep them in Your hands. And Lord, I come to you on my knees, with a heavy heart. I am so ashamed, Father. I am so sorry for what I have done and I feel such guilt even asking for Your forgiveness. But, please forgive me Lord, for I have sinned. I have sinned against You and my wife. But I thank you, Father, for being a God of mercy and grace. And I thank You for Your blood, Jesus. Your blood that covers this sin for me. My humble prayer, Father, is that You help me find a way to make this up to Kyla. Help her to forgive me. Help Kyla to know that I love her with every fiber of my being.” With his head still bowed, Jefferson continued to speak to the Lord, asking for help and direction. He remained on his knees until they ached and only then did he rise with hope.
He made a mental list of who he could call—people who Kyla might turn to. He knew he would have to choose his words carefully as he spoke; he could never reveal what had happened. Self-protection was not his goal—he didn’t care what anyone thought of him. He was willing to shout his sin from the rooftop if he thought that would bring Kyla back. But, he had to be discreet for Kyla’s sake. The revelation of his disgrace had to be in her hands.
He called his in-laws first and held his breath as Lynn chatted about the weekend she’d spent with Kyla and Alexis.
“But I’m sure Kyla has told you all about this already,” Lynn said.
“Actually, she hasn’t said too much. We haven’t had much of an opportunity to talk . . . yet.”
“Oh, too bad. I know how excited she was to surprise you. She really wanted the two of you to have some time alone. Did something come up?”
“Yes . . .”
“Anyway, Winston and I are thrilled to have Nicole with us for a few days. Did you call to speak to her?”
Jefferson almost collapsed from relief. But at the same time, he was saddened. With Nicole in Santa Barbara, Kyla was free to move around without having to return home.
“Hi, Daddy.” Jefferson broke down at the sound of his daughter’s voice. “I’m having a great time. I went fishing and I played with Misty and Kristy and Papa is taking us fishing tomorrow too. Can I stay here until Saturday, Daddy? Misty and Kristy are having their birthday party and I really want to go.”
“We’ll see, sweetheart. I just have to check with . . . your mother,” he said softly.
“Can you ask her now? Can I talk to her about it?”
Jefferson clenched his fist. “She’s not here right now. But, I’m sure she’ll call you tonight.”
“Where did she go?”
“Listen, Nicole, I promise I’ll talk to her and we’ll let you know, okay? I think it will be all right. I have to go now, honey. I love you and I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Next, he called Alexis, but there was no answer. He even called his mother, hoping that Kyla had found refuge in San Diego, but when his mother asked about Kyla and Nicole, he knew his wife was still missing.
He had been pacing the room and it wasn’t until that moment that he noticed the bed—the sheets still disheveled, the comforter sprawled on the floor. With tears stinging his eyes, he tore the sheets off the bed and ran into the garage, dumping them into the garbage. He leaned against the cold wall and closed his eyes. There had to be something he was missing, something he had overlooked that would give him a clue about Kyla. Then, his eyes opened wide. Why hadn’t he thought of that before? He knew exactly where she would turn in this situation. He jumped into his car and held his breath for the entire fifteen minutes it took him to get to the church. A few cars remained in the lot and his eyes quickly scanned the area for Kyla’s car. But even though he didn’t see the Lexus, he knew she was here. She had probably parked somewhere else, waiting for Pastor Ford to finish the second service. From the look of the almost-empty parking lot, second service had ended a while ago and Kyla was probably with the pastor right now.
He ran inside, almost knocking down Elder Roberts, who was locking up the front doors.
“Jefferson, man, where’s the fire?”
“Sorry. I needed to see . . . Pastor Ford,” he said, as his eyes searched the sanctuary. “Is she still here?”
“I think so. She’s probably back in her office.”
Jefferson could hear Pastor Ford’s voice even before he entered her private alcove. When he stepped into her outer office, she was talking to Miss Imogene.
“It is time for both of us to go home,” Jefferson heard Pastor Ford say.
Miss Imogene chuckled. “I’ve been trying to get you out of here for the last hour.”
Jefferson coughed and the women looked up.
Pastor Ford took one look at him and frowned. “Jefferson.” She paused, but kept her eyes on Jefferson. “Miss Imogene, I’ll see you later.”
Miss Imogene smiled as she passed Jefferson and the pastor motioned him into her office. She closed the door behind them.
“How are you?” The pastor’s eyes narrowed with concern. “I missed you in church this morning.”
“Pastor Ford, have you seen Kyla?” his voice shuddered as he spoke.
The pastor’s frown deepened. “No,” she said slowly. “What’s wrong, Jefferson?”
He shook his head, unable to speak and fell into the chair in front of the desk. Wordlessly, Pastor Ford sat next to him and waited a few moments before she questioned him again.
Jefferson fought to hold back sobs. He
was so sure that Kyla was going to be here, and now he wondered if he had any hope of finding her.
“Oh, Pastor . . . I don’t know what to say . . .”
“Start at the beginning. Why don’t you know where Kyla is?”
Jefferson swallowed and turned in the chair slightly so that he could face his pastor. But when Pastor Ford’s soft brown eyes looked back at him, his face dropped. There was no way he could tell her.
“Jefferson, I want to help,” she urged.
With his elbows resting on his knees, he held his face in his hands. “Kyla found me with another woman this morning,” he said softly. He closed his eyes when he heard the pastor’s sigh, but continued, “She came home early from Santa Barbara and I was with . . .”
Pastor Ford leaned forward and rubbed his back. “Okay, I think I’ve got that part,” she said. “And, you don’t know where Kyla is now.” Her statement was a question.
He shook his head. He had used up all his words.
Pastor Ford stood and walked to the window, letting his confession sink in. “Have you prayed?” she asked.
He nodded. “That’s the only thing I’ve done right today.”
When she turned to face him, her eyes bore into his. “Are you in love with this other woman?”
He sat up straight. “Oh, God, no! Pastor, I love Kyla with all my heart. I have never cheated on her before and I don’t even know why or how or . . .”
Pastor Ford held up her hands. “That’s enough. That’s what I thought, but I had to ask you so that I could know how to help.” She walked to her desk and leaned against it. “Where else could Kyla be?”
“I don’t know. I’ve called everyone we know. At least all the people that she would turn to. I was sure she would contact you.”
“She may call me at home,” Pastor Ford nodded slightly.
“She’s fine, Jefferson. I feel it.”
Jefferson studied his pastor as she sat with her arms folded. “Aren’t you going to ask me how I could have done it?” he asked, dropping his eyes.
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