Interrupted Romance

by Baxter, Topsy

  Dafna leaned back in her spacious chair, while Yael sat on the edge of the desk and Ilana leaned against a filing cabinet, all with a mug of steaming black coffee in hand. Yael was looking closely at Dafna and detected the dark smudges under the eyes, the small wrinkles showing beside her mouth.

  "So," she said to Dafna, "life hasn't been all a bed of roses, I gather."

  "No, unfortunately. Far from it. My mother is recovering, as I've told you, but Adam is another matter entirely. He isn't well, and his mood swings are becoming more frequent, more violent. He doesn't want me around him, so I had to leave and go home to the apartment to give him breathing space. I don't know what is to become of us."

  She didn't go into detail, as apart from any other reasons, it was nearly time to open the doors of the shop. Besides, she really didn't want to go over it all again. She needed a bit of recovery time herself. Ever since the bomb blast, there had been something happening to her, or around her, or concerning her, and she needed, as much as anyone else, to take stock of her life and try to bring it back into an even keel.

  "Well, let's get this show on the road, girls. I gather you've been kept busy with one thing and another?"

  They moved from the office into the shop, talking as they went about the orders, the deliveries, the customers' needs. Dafna unlocked the front door, Ilana set about straightening some books in the display stands near the door and Yael unlocked the cash register and placed the cash float in the till. It was the beginning of a normal business day and Dafna, for one, welcomed the normality of it.

  She brought a wet-weather mat from the back of the shop to place at the doorway for people to wipe their feet as they entered the shop. One of the girls scouted about to find a box for people to leave dripping umbrellas in until they were ready to leave. Already a few people were stopping to look in the window, reading the titles of books on display. In absentia, Yael had rearranged the titles in the window. There was a selection of guidebooks on things to do in and around Netanya. [Any tourist - that is, any female tourist worth her salt - knew that Netanya was renowned as THE diamond trading/cutting centre of the whole Middle East. The industry had been established prior to World War II by Belgian immigrants and now buyers came from all over Europe to this distinguished jewel market, where business was always brisk. The local tour companies made a special point of dropping prospective buyers off for a few hours of shopping.] Other titles covered the animals of the desert; local wildlife; flora and fauna; and a display of novels, all worthy of being curled up with in a cosy corner on a wet day. Netanya was an easy place to sell books. The resident population of approximately 140,000 people of this beach and health resort were well-read and well-educated. They valued their books. Add to them the constant swelling of numbers as tourists flocked to the area from all over the world (and a large percentage of these would look for a book to take home as a memento) and the sales were consistently high. The 'other language' books were printed in English, German, French, Italian and Spanish, with some in Russian. There was always someone browsing this section. The pictorial hardcover books on Israel usually sold first. They were in constant demand and always the first to be reordered.

  It was time to leave the girls to look after the sales and Dafna went back into the office to finish working on the accounts. Yael had left them in good order for her and she had no trouble bringing herself up to scratch. The orders had been looked after; invoices paid, deliveries checked, credits received for undelivered titles. Cards from various sales representatives had been filed in the appropriate folder. Everything seemed to be going along smoothly.

  'All except my life', thought Dafna. Again, her mind drifted back to thoughts of Adam and what he must be going through, knowing that he may never see again, may never be able to work again, may never be able to truly take care totally of his needs by himself. How long would it be before he would let her approach him again? Was he missing her as much as she was missing him?

  She sighed, willing herself to stick to the business at hand. There were phone calls to make to publishing houses, a local author to contact about a book-signing day, some marketing of titles to local schools. She worked steadily until, with surprise, she glanced at her watch and found it was already almost 1 p.m. Walking through to the shop, she smiled at some people shopping in the children's section, stopped to talk to a regular in 'autobiography', then whispered in Yael's ear, "If you and Ilana would like to go now, I'll work through the lunch break. See you back here at 3 o'clock."

  Yael nodded and walked around the counter to join Ilana near the door display and they arranged to meet back in the shop at the agreed time.

  While they were gone, Dafna spent some fruitful hours looking over the contents of the shelves, appraising herself of the new titles, moving some of the slower-moving titles to a more prominent position in the hope they'd sell quicker, offering discounted prices on these 'slow' titles. She drew up new price signs highlighting the discounted prices for the wet-weather readers wanting something to fill in the hours. Then she walked along the aisles to check for any books that had been placed in the wrong section.

  Each time the phone rang she would hurry over to the counter to answer it, hoping it was Adam, but always it was a call about books. One of her girlfriends called, having heard that she would be back in the shop today, and they arranged to meet for coffee the following evening.

  Time passed quickly and before she knew it the girls were back to do the afternoon shift.

  Dafna spent the afternoon with a sales representative from a notable publishing company. There were new titles to look at and order; others to discount as unsaleable to her clientele; price ranges to consider; hardback or softcover; pictorial and editorial titles. It was time consuming, but productive work and it allowed her to settle back into a routine with which she was familiar. They chatted over a mug of coffee before the order was finalised. There was a list of titles to be returned and the books themselves would have to be packed into boxes ready to be picked up. She shook hands with the saleswoman who made her way through the shop and disappeared.

  Before she knew it, the girls were closing the front doors and tidying up the shelves, the day's takings were checked and the banking figure prepared for Dafna to look over.

  Dafna was pleased with the day, in that she had been able to immerse herself in the running of the business and hadn't spent a lot of time wondering about Adam. At home, alone, during the evening, would be a different matter.

  As Yael was leaving, she came into the office and put a hand on Dafna's shoulder saying, "It's good to have you back again, Dafna. We missed you."

  "Thanks, Yael. It's good to be back. I didn't think I'd manage to get through the day, but it's been busy and time went quickly. I hope the rest of the week goes the same."

  Once the shop doors were locked and the girls had gone, Dafna picked up the phone and dialled Adam's number. His mother answered the call, pleased to hear from Dafna, but had no pleasing news like 'he's missing you and wants to see you'. Unfortunately, he stayed mostly in his room, moody and angry, she told Dafna. His headaches were wearing him down and he was constantly taking medication to try to ease his discomfort. She had tried to talk Adam into seeing Dafna again. He had refused on the grounds that he was useless to everyone, including himself, and wouldn't inflict himself on anyone, especially Dafna, who had a life of her own to lead and wouldn’t need him around to make things difficult.

  Dafna, of course, disagreed with this opinion, but was powerless to change his mind. She thanked Mrs Lavan for telling her all this and they rang off, promising to keep in touch. Tears of frustration over this situation rolled down Dafna's cheeks and she put her head down on her arms and wept silently. Eventually, she was able to stem the flow of tears, wiped her face with a tissue, renewed her makeup and locked up for the night.

  She drove home to the empty apartment, automatically checking her answering machine as she walked towards the kitchen… no messages. She dropped her hand
bag on the bench and set about preparing a meal. While the cooking was in progress, she put some CD's on to play and went into the bedroom to change her clothes. That was Day-1-without-Adam, she thought. How many more like this will there be?

  Dinner was eaten in front of the television set, feet up on a footstool. No one rang her and she rang no one. It was a quiet, lonely night.

  Dafna had been back in the shop for two weeks, when the phone rang in the office one morning and it was Mrs Lavan with some news.

  Dr Feldman was expecting to be able to operate again on Adam in approximately a month's time. He would have a neuro-surgeon standing by in case of problems as yet unseen and unknown. Adam was still experiencing wild moods and rages brought on by his pain and wasn't eating as well as his mother had hoped, but was otherwise doing alright. He still wouldn't allow Dafna to visit him.

  It was disturbing news for Dafna as there seemed to be little hope of rekindling the flame with Adam - and she definitely wanted it to be burning hot and strong! However, there was nothing she could do about it just yet. It would be a case of 'wait-and-see'.

  She busied herself with a new consignment of books in order to take her mind off her problems with Adam, for which there would be no quick solution.

  Loading the new books onto the trolley, she wheeled them into the shop for Ilana to distribute to the shelves. She decided she'd take the afternoon off and go shopping. Shopping was a panacea when it came to stress, she thought. Not that she really needed to buy anything, but she would certainly find something!

  Leaving the shop, she walked through the square towards her favourite shopping area and proceeded to lose herself in the clothing market. It was a happier Dafna that arrived back at the apartment late that afternoon, toting a few bags with the names of well-known shops printed on them. She spent a further hour trying on the various items of clothing that she'd bought, experimenting with accessories to find the best 'look'.

  The rainy winter season was over and spring was bringing the holiday weather back to Israel. Tourists were out in force, and guidebooks were a big seller, along with the books on Israel in general.

  Dafna was kept occupied throughout each day with the day-to-day running of the business, but her nights were an agony of loneliness. Over and over, in her mind's eye, was the night with Adam on the beach, before they were so rudely interrupted by the army patrol.

  She speculated on the likely outcome of that few minutes of passion if they'd been left alone. Every time she thought about it, her face flushed at the thought that those men had been watching them, waiting for them to go even further. And they would have too, except for the dog alerting them to another presence.

  At night, in bed, she ran her hands over her body, reliving the moments when Adam ran his hand over her skin. It was almost possible to feel it all again, so strong was her desire for him. She tossed and turned, tormented by her memory. It had been a brief moment in time, but it stuck in her mind like no other event had. Not even the bombing occupied as much of her quiet moments as did Adam's touching her.

  His lips had been so warm and his body so hard. He had held her so tightly, crushing her. She wanted that feeling again! Oh, when would he call her and ask to see her? How much longer would she have to wait?

  It had occurred to Dafna that if the unthinkable happened - Adam never wanted to see her again - she would sell the book shop and possibly return to Sydney, to her mother, and start another life on the other side of the world. This would be better than staying here with all the reminders of her lost love about her. However, this was not an option to which she looked forward. Hopefully, this would never have to be considered seriously.

  CHAPTER 21

  It was time to begin accepting some of the many invitations she had received from friends, asking her to join them for concerts, to go to the beach, to parties, a wedding, a picnic. There didn't seem to be much point in waiting for Adam to call her.

  Five of her friends from school were going to the concert hall in Tel Aviv for a night of folk songs, which were immensely popular, and Dafna agreed to join them. They were to meet for coffee before the show and catch up on all the gossip. None of them had married yet, choosing instead to begin careers, and all of them had travelled quite a bit outside Israel, so there would be many stories to tell over coffee. It promised to be an interesting night.

  They spent over an hour in the café, talking and laughing the whole time. There were shrieks of laughter as a particularly funny episode in someone's life was related. Some of the other patrons in the café smiled at their frequent bursts of joyful chatter as each one tried to outdo the others' stories. Dafna remained quieter than the others, hoping nobody would notice her reticence. Her mind kept going back to Adam, always Adam. But, they wouldn't allow her to be totally silent, and demanded a rundown of her recent trip to Sydney. They wanted to know about Australia. Were there kangaroos hopping down the streets? What did a koala feel like? Does everyone say 'G'day' there? None of them had been further away from Israel than Europe or America, but they all wanted to learn about the country down under, and they were excitedly throwing questions at Dafna, who finally threw her hands up in the air in defeat.

  "Please! One at a time. I can't keep up with you all," she said smiling. She was saved from answering too many questions when one of the girls looked at her watch and jumped up.

  "Quickly, we've only got ten minutes before they start. Let's go. We can come back for another drink after the show."

  They paid their bill and hurried from the café, heading toward the Cultural Centre. They found their seats and settled down to enjoy the evening's performance with just a minute to spare before the lights were dimmed. The singers began with popular favourites, and before long had the whole audience singing along with them. The mood was set. It was relaxing, enjoying the evening among friends. During the interval one of her friends told her that she should sing more often, her voice was truly lovely to listen to and pitch-perfect.

  The second half started with a sombre, but melodic, song of the bravery of a young soldier, killed in battle. The words were written by his younger brother and had become an instant hit in Israel, where battles seemed to be forever being fought, by many young men and women. More than one person in the audience wiped away a trickling tear. The story struck home to many of the people sitting in that hall. However, the mood picked up after that and gradually surged to a rollicking finale with everyone in the place singing their hearts out, at the top of their lungs.

  Dafna had really enjoyed being out with her friends and was pleased that they had asked her to join them. She'd forgotten how much fun these folk nights were. Once, it seemed ages ago, she'd gone frequently to these shows where the object was to enjoy yourself as well as to keep alive the songs of Israel. If only Adam could be there with her, it would be perfect.

  After the singing session, the girls adjourned to the café for another coffee. They settled in for a long talk but Dafna excused herself with the excuse of an early start in the morning, and left them at about eleven o'clock. She promised to come to the next sing-along in a month's time. There were kisses on the cheeks, all around the table, and she left them to it.

  She hailed a taxi out on the street and sat back thinking about the past few months, all the way home.

  Adam's mother called her every week with an update of his condition. His operation had been postponed due to him catching a heavy head cold. It dragged on for over a week, then went to his chest. He was miserable and frustrated at the delay but could do nothing about it. There would be no anaesthetic while his chest was congested. His headaches were being controlled with a strong painkiller and he was taking an antibiotic for the chest problem.

  To add to the problem, the cold turned into bronchitis and the constant coughing made his head pound even more. He was going through a bad time, but still didn’t want to see Dafna. She despaired at ever being with him again. His mother was sympathetic but unable to change Adam's mind.

&
nbsp; Dafna buried herself in her work over the following few weeks. She went out whenever anyone invited her. The brother of one of her girlfriends called into the shop one day to ask her to go to the movies with him and she accepted after a brief hesitation.

  David was as blonde as Adam was dark. His eyes weren't as blue as Adam's. He wasn't as tall as Adam. Dafna cursed herself for this constant comparison of every man she met, with Adam.

  But David was a charming companion and managed to divert her attention away from her thoughts for hours at a time. She felt guilty after being out with him, as though she had been unfaithful to Adam, just by going out with another man. Even though she chided herself about this reaction, it changed nothing. However, when he invited her to join him at a concert later in the week, she agreed to go with him.