The Substitute

by Denise Grover Swank

  He turned on his heels and stomped off.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said for the umpteenth time. “He had no right to do that.”

  He was silent for a moment, then turned to her. “Yes, he did.”

  “Why would you—”

  “Megan,” he said quietly. “From what little I’ve gathered, Jay did treat you like shit.”

  “How could you possibly know that?”

  “More reasons than you can guess.” He moved closer to her, lowering his voice. “I’m glad your brother is looking out for you. Too little too late, as far as I’m concerned, still…” His voice trailed off.

  “But he thinks you’re Jay.”

  He shrugged. “Part of the gig.”

  Which made her question once again the real reason he was doing this. Karma and fate felt like bullshit answers. Still, it wasn’t fair for Josh to pay for Jay’s crimes. “Maybe we should break it off now.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Before you get hurt.”

  He snaked his left arm around her back and pulled her close, his face inches above hers. “I’m not going to get hurt. I’m a big boy.”

  “But Kevin…”

  His breath was warm on her face and her skin flushed. “Kevin’s not going to hurt me.” He kissed her gently, then sucked her lower lip between his teeth.

  Every part of her combusted and a bolt of desire shot straight to her groin.

  “Don’t break up with me, Megan,” he whispered against her mouth. “Not tonight.”

  He kissed her, his tongue licking her lip again before it slipped into her mouth, coaxing her tongue. When she responded, he lifted his mouth inches from hers. “Promise me no more talk about breaking up tonight.”

  “Okay,” she said breathlessly.

  His mouth claimed hers again, demanding and insistent. She tried to press closer to him, but their bound hands got in the way.

  “Where’s Libby?” she groaned.

  He murmured his amusement against her lips.

  “Megan!” her mother shouted again.

  Megan pulled away. “I’m going to tell her that we’re exhausted from the time change and we need to go to bed.”

  He shook his head in confusion. “But it’s two hours earlier in Seattle.”

  “Trust me. She always gets the times mixed up when we try to plan phone calls.” She tugged him across the deck until they were standing in front of her mother.

  “Oh!” she exclaimed. “You’re still wearing your bindings. That’s so sweet.”

  “Mother,” she said through gritted teeth. “We can’t get them off.”

  “I think that’s a good sign.” She turned to the woman next to her. “Don’t you?”

  Megan took a deep breath, then offered her mother and her guest a tight smile. “Josh and I are exhausted from the time change. We’re going to head to bed. I’ll help clean this up tomorrow.”

  “But—”

  “Good night, Mom!” Megan called over her shoulder as she pulled Josh through the back door.

  They found Libby in the kitchen, sitting on a barstool as she sipped a glass of water and snacked on a plate of fresh carrots and celery. “You’re still into bondage, I see. I hope you two have discussed a safe word. Personally, my current favorite is Ferris wheel.”

  Why was Megan so surprised by the roles her friends had fallen into—Libby as matchmaker and Blair as prison guard? This was typical of their dynamic. “Where are the scissors, Libby?”

  “Scissors?” she asked and winked at Josh. Then she lifted a tea towel on the counter and slid a pair across the granite counter. “I thought you might want a little more quality time.”

  “Well, I’m sure Josh was happy with the quality time we just had with Kevin. For some reason he’s decided to go all concerned big brother. He announced that he’s going to stop the wedding.”

  “Huh.” Libby looked amused. Then she waved her hand, dismissing the subject. “I’ll take care of it.”

  Megan shook her head. “Look, we’ll sort this out tomorrow, but right now I need you to cut us loose.”

  Libby gave them a mock pout. “I didn’t think the binding ties made in a Knickers ceremony should be so easily cut asunder.”

  “Libby.”

  Libby pursed her lips, mischief in her eyes. “This has to be consensual.” She turned to Josh with mock seriousness. “Josh, do you agree to cut these ties that bind?” Both of them started to laugh.

  “Yes, cut us loose,” Josh managed to say.

  It took Libby several minutes to cut them free. Megan rubbed the deep indentations on her arm.

  Wearing a grin, Libby nodded toward Megan’s arm. “Looks like Knickers needs some lessons on bondage. I know a dominatrix who would be happy to teach her. Imagine how thrilled your dad would be.”

  Megan cringed. “Ewww. Stop.”

  Josh’s eyes widened. “You know a dominatrix?”

  “Yeah,” Libby shrugged. “I can set you up with a private session if you’d like.”

  Jealousy rushed through Megan in a hot wave, taking her by surprise. And it wasn’t the first time she’d felt this way tonight. She wasn’t typically a jealous person, so what was that about? She grabbed Josh’s wrist. “He’ll be tied up.”

  “He already was tied up.”

  Josh chuckled.

  Megan groaned and headed for the stairs, pulling Josh with her. “Bye, Libby.”

  “Josh, if you change your mind, let me know,” Libby called after them, the merest hint of a laugh in her voice.

  Megan didn’t stop until she got him into her room and shut the door. He stood with his back to it, waiting for her to make a move. His smile was gone; his eyes serious.

  He was probably the most handsome man she’d ever known, but this was crazy. She hadn’t even known him twenty-four hours. Yet…she wanted this.

  “I hardly know you,” she finally said.

  The corners of his mouth tipped up slightly. “I know.”

  “You don’t know me either.”

  “True.”

  She’d had two drinks in quick succession and while she wasn’t drunk, it had certainly shaved the edge off her nerves. “I like you.”

  His grin faded and his voice turned husky. “I like you too.”

  She took a step toward him. “Did you fake that kiss a few minutes ago? Was it a performance, like Kevin suggested?”

  He released a breath of disbelief and gave a small shake of his head. “God, no.”

  She took a deep breath. “Do you want to schedule a session with Libby’s dominatrix?”

  Josh’s eyes lit up and he released a chuckle. “No.”

  She took another step toward him, leaving two feet between them.

  He closed the distance, slowly reaching for her face with both hands and cupping her cheeks as he looked deep into her eyes. Still he hesitated.

  “What are we doing?” she whispered, resting her hands on his chest.

  “I’m not sure.”

  “This is crazy.”

  A hint of a smile returned. “I know.” A silent war waged in his eyes before he kissed her. It was gentle at first, as if he were as shocked as she was that they were doing this.

  This was so out of character for Megan. She wasn’t a prude, and while she had no hard and fast rule about how many dates needed to precede sex, it didn’t usually happen until after the third. She wasn’t sure if she could count the engagement party tonight as their first date, but she had no doubt that she wanted this. She’d never believed in chemistry before, but one touch, one kiss from this man had made her a convert.

  She grabbed the back of his head and opened her mouth to him, teasing the tip of his tongue with hers.

  It was as if she’d released a flood gate. He moved a hand behind her back, pressing her chest tighter to his, and his mouth became more demanding. Her body answered. A surge of desire washed through her, and the urge to be closer to him, to feel his bare skin under her fingertips, was impossible to
resist.

  She loosened the knot in his tie, then set to work on the buttons on his shirt. He reached behind her for the zipper of her dress and pulled it down.

  They broke apart, both of them breathless as Josh pushed her sleeves down her arms, his fingertips trailing softly in the fabric’s wake. Her dress puddled at her feet and she stepped over it, sliding off her sandals in the process.

  She stood in front of him wearing only a white lace bra and panties, thankful she’d had the foresight to not only pack matching undergarments but ones that were worthy of being seen.

  Josh gasped slightly at the sight of her and then reached for her again, crushing her mouth with his.

  She placed her hands on his bare chest and slid them around to his back, her hands gripping his shoulder blades. She pulled him backward to the edge of the bed, then reached for his belt, quickly unfastening it before working on the button and zipper of his jeans. A groan released from her as she felt the bulge of his erection against her hand.

  She stared up at him, flushing at the desire in his eyes as he admired her body. And she expected him to kiss her again, but he took a step backward instead, conflict in his eyes.

  He took a deep breath and heaved it out. “I don’t think we should do this.”

  Horror rushed through her. “What?”

  He closed his eyes and swallowed. “I can sleep on the sofa…”

  “No. You can’t.” She shook her head, trying to regain her senses. “My mom…”

  His mouth opened as though he wanted to say something, then closed abruptly.

  She turned her back to him, mortified at his rejection. “It’s a queen-size bed. We can both sleep here.”

  “Megan, it’s not you…”

  “No,” she said, tears stinging her eyes. “You’re right. This was a bad idea. We’ll break up first thing tomorrow, and then you can get back to saving your business.” She spun around to face him. “That’s ultimately why you’re here, right? I’m just a good karma detour.”

  “Uh,” he looked toward the wall and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah.” He shifted his gaze toward the bathroom door. “I’m going to take a shower. Do you need to use…?”

  She shook her head. “No. Go.”

  He grabbed his bag and disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. She picked her dress up off the floor and opened her suitcase, pulling out a nightgown, thanking the stars above it was utilitarian and not sexy—a complete about-face from a few moments ago.

  The shower turned on and she stripped off her bra and pulled the gown over her head, then dropped her discarded dress into the bag.

  How in the world could she sleep with him now?

  But a wave of exhaustion overcame her, so she pulled back the covers and climbed under them. The lamp on her bedside table filled the room with a warm glow, transporting her back over ten years, to when she had lived in this room. She’d failed her mother’s expectations as a teen and young girl. Was that why she’d stuck with Jay, even when she knew he was so wrong? Her mother held marriage and motherhood on such a high pedestal; maybe marrying Jay had been one last-ditch effort to mend burned bridges. But it turned out that Megan was a failure at getting married too.

  But the final nail in the femininity coffin was Josh’s rejection. Did he wish he’d gone home with Libby instead? Was he in the bathroom thinking about her now?

  Libby was like a siren. She drew men like honey did flies, and half the time she didn’t even realize the power of her allure. How many times had Libby taken the attention of the boys Megan crushed on in high school? But there was never any malice in Libby’s behavior. She was like a candle that burned so brightly men had no choice but to notice her. Megan didn’t doubt that if Libby had gotten ahold of Josh first, he would be in her bed right now. Maybe that’s what he was thinking about in the shower.

  But the thought sent another blaze of jealousy through her and she had to laugh at her idiocy. Josh McMillan had never been hers. This was an arrangement and the sooner she not only accepted it, but ended it, the better.

  Chapter Eleven

  Josh stayed in the shower until the water turned cold, and then stayed in even longer. If Megan kept looking at him with that longing in her eyes, he couldn’t guarantee he’d keep his hands to himself. And although every part of him demanded he go into the other room and satisfy them both, the sliver of decency still burning inside him—despite all the duplicity—demanded that he respect her enough to keep his hands to himself. So he took his time drying off and dressing in a pair of athletic shorts and a T-shirt. When he opened the door, he was prepared for an inner battle of epic proportions.

  He took a few steps into the room. Megan was huddled under the covers, her eyes closed. Her long dark hair pooled on the pillow and her worry lines had ebbed away, leaving a peacefulness he hadn’t yet seen in her.

  She was asleep.

  He let out a breath of relief. An asleep Megan made things immeasurably easier. Especially since he was still planning to escape the room and search the house for evidence of her father’s deceit.

  He cracked open the door and listened for a moment. Voices drifted up the stairs and he recognized one of them as belonging to Megan’s mother. So the party had moved inside. He could at least search the rooms upstairs, but as he started out the door, he heard Kevin’s voice on the stairs.

  “Are you worn out, Gram?”

  “Heavens, no. This was nothing compared to the parties your grandfather and I used to host.”

  Kevin laughed. “Mom’s parties tend to be pretty dull.”

  “She’s more interested in the show than she is about fun.”

  He laughed again. “Maybe that’s why the party’s over by ten p.m. Yours always went well into the morning.”

  “Which is part of the reason why your mother had a conniption when she realized what we had you doing.”

  “I learned some valuable life skills, Gram,” he teased.

  “Don’t say I never did anything for you. Especially when you see your inheritance from me.”

  Kevin released a long rumbling laugh. “I’ve missed you, Gram.”

  “You and your sister need to come home more often. In spite of what you both think, your mother does love you. She just has a hard time showing it.”

  “I know, but it’s hard to escape the Death Star once you’re in its gravitational pull. It’s safer to keep a healthy distance.” He was silent for a moment. “I still say there’s something off about Megan’s fiancé.”

  “Josh? You promised me you’d give him a chance tonight.”

  “Yeah,” he growled. “I did, but now I trust him even less. A guy doesn’t just go from being a cold fish to being so affectionate.”

  “We don’t know that he was cold to her. Only suspected.”

  “We both know her, Gram. Did she ever seem happy with him?”

  “No, but people change,” Megan’s grandmother said. “Maybe he came to his senses and changed. If anything, I trust him more after meeting him. He’s good to her, Kevin. I know you had to notice the way he was looking at her tonight.”

  “Yeah, but what’s behind the change? Something’s up, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”

  Josh sucked in a breath. So Libby wasn’t the only one who’d noticed his attentiveness? That was a good thing, right?

  “You need to stay out of your sister’s business.”

  “I’ve stayed out of it for too long. If he’s marrying her, he’d better love her.”

  Josh hoped he was a couple of thousand miles away when Kevin discovered the truth.

  “You’re a good big brother,” the older woman said. “Just make sure your motives are pure.”

  “What’s that mean?”

  “Guilt has a funny way of bending people.” They were silent for a moment. “I’m getting off to bed. I need my rest. Your mother thinks she’s putting on the royal wedding.”

  “Night, Gram.”

  Josh stood with
his ear pressed to the door, wondering how good of a brother Kevin actually was. He’d suspected his sister was unhappy for at least two years without ever calling her on it. Where had he been while Megan was dating the bastard who’d cheated on her? Maybe Josh would let him know what Jay had done after everything had played out. He liked the idea of someone seeking retribution on her behalf.

  His ears strained to hear further conversation, or at least the closing and opening of doors, but instead he was greeted with silence.

  Dammit. He’d been so busy thinking about Megan he hadn’t paid attention to which rooms they’d gone into. It wasn’t like he could check out the office now anyway. Both Grams and Kevin were up here and awake, and could catch him at any moment. He needed to wait until everyone was asleep.

  A sudden wave of exhaustion overtook him, catching him by surprise. Although he was still partially resistant to his brother’s impending arrival, he had to admit that part of him was relieved Noah would be jumping on board. The clumsy way his brother had lost the plans notwithstanding, Noah was an expert at subterfuge. Although Josh was loath to admit it, he needed him. He only hoped he came up with a plausible explanation for showing up. Maybe he should come up with a backup plan. Just in case.

  But he still had tonight, even if he couldn’t do anything for at least a half an hour, which left him unsure of how to pass the time. Since he was so tired, he decided to lie down on the bed and rest, maybe check his emails on his phone.

  But Megan was in the bed.

  He knew he should sleep on the floor—he could grab a pillow and use the blanket he’d seen in the bathroom closet. But he sank down onto the edge of the bed instead, then laid down on his side, facing her. Her hands lay on her pillow, in front of her face, and she wore a serene look that tugged at something deep in his heart.

  She shifted, releasing a soft murmur in her sleep, and he resisted the urge to reach out and take her hand in his. Josh closed his eyes and breathed in her soft floral scent. It reminded him of summer and happier times before his father’s death. Back before his life became so serious and his brother became a self-centered dick. While their father’s death had made Josh more determined than ever to join the family business, Noah had resisted the responsibility. And although he’d done a respectable job of holding it together until Josh graduated and joined full time, Noah had been irresponsible in every other conceivable way since. If Noah were an employee, Josh would have fired him years ago.