The Substitute

by Denise Grover Swank

  “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope.”

  “Check my missed calls and see when she called.”

  He picked up her phone and she remembered the missed call from Jay. What if he’d left a message? It was too late to stop him now. Truth be told, she didn’t owe him an explanation, but she felt unnerved all the same.

  Josh studied the list. “She called five times last night and once this morning, and there are three voice messages. Do you want me to listen to them?”

  It seemed like the chicken-shit way out, but she found herself nodding. “Yes.”

  He listened to the first one, his shoulders lifted to his ears with tension. “Okay,” he said as he pressed delete. “That was mostly unintelligible, but the gist was for you to call her back immediately. It was about half an hour after we left.”

  “Okay…”

  He listened to the second message, fighting a grin that faded before he lowered the phone. This one he didn’t delete. “I think she’d taken the Xanax before making this call, so she sounded like she was drunk.”

  Megan snorted. “My mother has never been drunk a day in her life.”

  “Well, she certainly sounds like it, but she wasn’t nearly as entertaining as you were on the plane.”

  She stuck her tongue out at him.

  He chuckled. “She demanded that you call her back and chastised you for abandoning her in her time of need.” He used air quotes to emphasize the last three words. “But then she asked you to call her no matter what time it was because she was worried about you.”

  She sobered at his words. “She must have been really out of it to say that.”

  “She’s your mother, Meggie. She loves you even if she doesn’t know how to say it.”

  She shot him a glare. “Meggie?”

  He shrugged. “It’s cute. And you’re beyond cute when you’re lecturing octogenarians about the dangers of ticks while wearing nothing but your bra.” A grin spread across his face. “It fits.”

  She almost told him that no one was allowed to call her Meggie—that it had been a rule since a boy in first grade called her Steggie Meggie (short for Stegosaurus) and she’d punched his front tooth out—but she stopped. What did it matter? He only had one day to use the offensive name. Besides, when he said it, it sounded right.

  “There’s one more message?” she asked.

  He hesitated and shifted in his seat. “Yeah, one more from your mother. She called about forty-five minutes ago.”

  “Listen to it.”

  He obeyed and lowered the phone after about thirty seconds, showing no reaction.

  “Well?”

  He sucked in a breath, disbelief spreading across his face. “She wanted to remind you that you have a full itinerary today. She said I have to pick up my tux and I’m supposed to meet my brother at the store at eleven, which Noah had already told me about. After that, she wants you to go to Powell Gardens with her, but then I have to meet you at the courthouse later to pick up our marriage license.”

  “Oh, crap,” she groaned.

  “Yeah. I know.” He didn’t sound any happier about it than she did. “She listed a bunch of other things like getting your hair colored.” He turned to her. “Why are you getting your hair colored?”

  She tilted her head slightly while pursing her lips. “My mother was horrified that I hadn’t gone to a salon in Seattle before I came. When I told her my last haircut was only three weeks ago, she said it needed to be highlighted to show my waves in my up-do.”

  He stared at her in shock. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” He reached for a lock of her hair and held it up. “Your hair is absolutely perfect, Megan. Don’t change it.”

  Something warm filled her heart, mixing with the sorrow there to form a beautiful ache. How could she feel such extremes at once? “Thanks,” she said softly.

  “I would say skip the tuxes, but your mother said your brother’s going to be there too. And Noah and I are supposed to pick up your father’s tux and take it to him.”

  “Crap.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “Hey,” his hand covered hers, and he grinned at her. “For better or for worse, I’m committed to this engagement until tonight. Which means everything it encompasses.”

  “But Jay paid for his own tux. And I’m sure the tightwad already canceled his order.”

  “I can pay for the tux.”

  She cleared her throat. “No you won’t. This is my mess. I’ll pay for it.”

  He squeezed her hand. “Let’s go to breakfast and declare it a wedding-discussion-free zone.”

  “Deal.”

  The easy conversation they shared over breakfast only proved how perfect they were for each other. He was witty and fun. They talked without pause about growing up and graduating from college, discovering what they wanted to do with their lives. Josh admitted that his plan to join his father’s business had only been further cemented after his death, but sometimes he felt like he’d made the decision when he was a kid without ever having a choice in the matter. He never volunteered the specifics of what he did, and since he seemed to want to keep it to himself, she didn’t ask.

  “If you hadn’t joined your father’s business, what would you have done?” she asked, studying his face.

  “I don’t know,” he said with a self-conscious half-shrug.

  She rested her forearms on the table and leaned toward him. “I don’t believe that for a second. Everyone has dreams, no matter how preposterous or stupid someone else might think they are.”

  “And what’s your secret dream?” he teased, taking her hand in his. “If you’re so eager to hear mine, tell me yours.”

  She gave him a wicked smile.

  “You want to win American Idol.”

  She laughed. “I have no such delusions. I can hardly carry a tune.”

  “You want to climb Mount Everest.”

  She shivered. “No way. That sounds like a nightmare. I hate the cold. One of the benefits of living in Seattle. Despite all the rain, it hardly ever snows.”

  “I give up. Tell me.”

  Her smile softened. “It’s stupid.”

  “If it’s your dream, it can’t be stupid.” His fingers squeezed around hers in encouragement.

  She swallowed, looking nervous. “I want my mom to accept me for me instead of trying to change me into what she wants me to be.”

  “How can that be stupid, Megan?”

  “Because I shouldn’t have to want it in the first place.”

  He looked into her eyes for several seconds. “I told you that my business is in trouble, big trouble, and now I find myself facing a very difficult decision. I have two choices, neither of them good. If I make one decision, ten employees lose their jobs—two of whom will have a very difficult time finding new ones—but if I choose the other, someone very important to me will probably get hurt in the process.” He sighed, not looking happy.

  “You’re in a real Catch-22, huh?” Someone important to him. Noah? Could this be why his brother had shown up?

  “Yeah.”

  “So is that why you’re hiding out with me? Avoiding the decision?”

  He watched her for a moment. “No. There’s really nothing to be done at this point except for me to decide. Unless I get a miracle.”

  “And you have to make your choice this weekend?” When he nodded she asked, “Have you made a decision yet?”

  “No.” His voice was gruff and she covered his hand with her own, her thumb rubbing back and forth over his knuckles. “Like I told you, I’m leaving this trip up to fate. You’re the answer I was given. I can’t help thinking that has to mean something.”

  Horror washed through her. “Me?”

  “There’s absolutely nowhere else I’d rather be than with you. You were my gift from fate.” When she started to protest, he stopped her. “Let’s make a deal. We’ll avoid talking about your mother and my business so we can make tod
ay as happy as possible.”

  She made a face. “Avoiding any talk about your business is a whole hell of a lot easier.”

  He gave her a wicked grin. “Ha! You definitely have the home court disadvantage.”

  “Just for that, I’m not going to take you to get a new phone,” she said smugly.

  His voice softened. “Who am I going to call? The only person I want to be with is here with me.”

  “Let’s get out of here, Romeo,” she said with a small smile.

  “But we have to pick up the tuxes at eleven.”

  Her smile stretched into a grin. “I know.”

  Josh paid the bill and they walked out of the restaurant, his arm around her waist, holding her hip to his. He leaned down to her ear and whispered, “Do you know how distracting it was sitting across from you knowing you weren’t wearing underwear under your dress?”

  She laughed, but a wave of lust washed through her. “We need to shower and change clothes.”

  “Your mother mentioned she was going to pick up the flowers and check on the cake this morning before stopping by to make sure everyone’s tux looks okay.”

  “So…we have an hour and a half in an empty house to go back, shower, and change?”

  He stopped next to her car, pulling her to his chest. “And other things.” He kissed her with more intensity than she’d expected, but she wasn’t about to complain.

  “Definitely other things,” she murmured against his lips.

  He broke free and opened her car door. “Tell me we’re close to your parents’ house.”

  “Define close.” He released a long groan and she laughed. “Ten minutes. Tops.”

  “Paybacks are hell, Megan Vandemeer.”

  And they were, but deliciously so. He took advantage of the fact that she was stuck behind the wheel and pantyless by skimming a hand along her thigh, lifting the hem of her skirt, and shifting higher.

  “God, you’re so wet,” he groaned.

  She let out a soft gasp as his fingers began to coax her close to a climax but never quite there. By the time she parked in the driveway, she was hot with desire and could think of nothing but getting him inside the house and stripping off his clothes.

  She took his hand and pulled him upstairs and into her bedroom. Pushing him against the wall, she reached for his jeans. A devilish grin lit up his face as he watched her. “You’re so determined.”

  “You drove me crazy all the way here. It’s my turn now.” As she lowered his jeans, she dropped to her knees and helped him step out of the pant legs.

  He looked down at her, his eyes hooded with lust and desire as she licked the length of his erection, then looked up at him. His gaze met hers and he released a low groan when she licked him again while cupping his balls. He leaned the back of his head against the wall and reached for her hair, grabbing loose handfuls as she took him into her mouth. She set the pace, but he soon became impatient.

  He pulled her into his arms, kissing her deeply as he unzipped her dress and pushed it off her shoulders and down to the floor. “I’m so torn,” he said, dragging his mouth from hers and moving to her ear. “Part of me wants to have you in the shower and the other part of me wants you on the bed.”

  She pulled his mouth back to hers. “Bed.”

  He grabbed her thighs and lifted her as if she were weightless. She straddled his waist and wrapped her arms around his neck and back, kissing him as he walked the short distance to her bed. Laying her down sideways on the mattress, he hovered over her, his hand cupping her breast as their mouths still connected. He started to roll to his side, but she didn’t want to wait. She wanted him now.

  “No,” she murmured. And she reached down and guided him inside her.

  He accepted the invitation, lifting her hips and plunging deep into her with one thrust. She arched her back and rose up to take him in, wanting him deeper, needing more. Her legs tightened around his waist, but he pulled them loose, lifting one to hook the back of her knee over his shoulder. She gasped as his urgency increased and her body responded, wanting more.

  He had her close within a minute, but she held on, fighting her release, wanting it to last, wanting to come with him. His hand covered her breast, his thumb and finger pinching her nipple, and it was enough to push her over the edge. She cried out, her fingers digging into his back as his movements grew more frantic, and he came too, pushing hard against her as he groaned.

  He collapsed on top of her, unhooking her leg and rolling to his side, bringing her with him. He kissed her, his tongue seeking hers out, his hand tangling in her hair.

  “This is some honeymoon we’re having,” she grinned against his lips.

  “You, Megan Vandemeer, are absolutely perfect.”

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” she said with a laugh.

  “This is exactly what I mean,” he said, pulling back to look into her eyes. “We just did…this—and now we’re laughing.”

  “You can’t say sex, Josh?” she teased. “You really are a prude.”

  “This was not mere sex, Megan, and you know it. This doesn’t even come close to anything I’ve ever experienced before.” Some indeterminable emotion flickered in his eyes before fading. “But maybe it’s not like that for you.”

  She shook her head in amazement. “My reaction five minutes ago didn’t make it clear enough? This is not the norm for me—not that I sleep around.”

  “Neither do I.”

  “I’ve never…” Her words trailed off as she rested her hand lightly on his cheek, her thumb tracing the outline of his bottom lip. This thing between them was special. It was worth saving. “Maybe we should just tell my mom everything and let the chips fall where they may.”

  Indecision flickered in his eyes. “You would really do that?”

  “Stand up to my mother?”

  “And tell her the truth. Can you do that and live with the consequences?”

  She pulled back slightly. “What does that mean?”

  “If your mother walked in right now and you told her everything, what do you think she would do?”

  “First of all, she would flip out to find us sideways like this. Normal people have sex parallel to the edge of the bed, Megan,” she mocked. “Not perpendicular.”

  He placed his hand on her shoulder, rubbing along her collarbone as he offered her a tentative smile. “And after that,” he prodded. “What would she say then?”

  She shuddered. “It wouldn’t be good.”

  “Yes, I guessed as much. But what exactly would she do?”

  “She would disown me and ban my father and brother and Gram from ever speaking to me again.”

  “She would really do that?”

  “She’s done that exact same thing for lesser offenses. She has a sister. When I was in middle school, they had a stupid fight. Mom said it was over which toilet paper was better, of all things, but they haven’t spoken since. Gram doesn’t even mention her around my mother. And whenever I asked Gram about it, she would just say it wasn’t her story to tell. That it was up to my mom if she wanted to tell me about it someday.” She shook her head “Who could disown their own sister over something so ridiculous?”

  Josh stared at her in shock.

  “I know what you’re thinking.” She propped up on one elbow. “Why would I care what she thinks? But I don’t want to lose my entire family. I love my dad and my brother. And while I know Gram would still call me, I’d never see her now that she’s living with my parents. My father…he loves me but I’m not sure he loves me enough.” She sat up, anxiety forming a ball in the pit of her stomach. “To tell her everything would make me an orphan in every sense of the word.”

  He sat up next to her, taking her hand between both of his. “And what’s the very best-case outcome from all of this?”

  “Best-case? That we would get married tomorrow with them still thinking you’re Jay.” She shook her head and pushed out her frustration with a heavy breath. “But since I don’t see you
changing your last name in the near future, the far more likely best-case scenario is that you break up with me tonight and my mother spends the rest of her life shaming me. Every Thanksgiving I come home, I’ll still hear that I single-handedly lost them fifty thousand dollars.” She shrugged. “But at least I’ll still have somewhere to go for Thanksgiving dinner.”

  No, Megan would have to find another solution to this problem, but as she stared into Josh’s worried face, she wasn’t sure there was one. And she only had herself to blame.

  Chapter Twenty

  Josh had to admit that the odds were stacked against them. Megan would have to throw her entire family away simply to take a chance on him. They hardly knew each other, but he knew enough to think she might be the one.

  He thought back to something his father told him back when he was a sophomore in high school. His long-time crush had just broken his heart by refusing his invitation to the homecoming dance, so his father had brought him out for pizza. They’d talked about anything and everything else until they were halfway through their pie, and then all his father had said was, “There are lots of girls out there, Joshy. You’ll probably date a bunch of them. Or maybe you’ll only date a few. But one day, you’ll find the one.” He’d given Josh an all-knowing smile and wiped his hands on a napkin. “It will probably knock you over when you least expect it. At least that’s what happened with me. Your mother walked into my Biology 101 lab in college and there was something about her that made me take notice. We were lab partners and I could hardly focus on what we needed to do. I asked her out before we left the room. We were engaged a year later, but I knew right away I’d marry her someday. And every day I spent with her only made me more certain. She’d look at me in this special way…and my heart would melt. I wanted to make all her dreams come true and you know what? I’ve spent my life trying. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love your mother and I never will.” And with that, his father had picked up another slice of pizza. “Someday you’ll find the one. And I can’t wait to meet her once you do.”