“I’ll hurt you.”
Kade snorts his amusement. “I think I can handle you.”
Walking away from the idiot, I give him my back, refusing to entertain this moronic idea. “No, you really can’t. I’m not cocky. I’m being honest.” There are few things in this world I know I’m good at. Fighting, being the first on that list. Using that on someone I’ve grown to respect, isn’t gonna happen. Not to rid me of this pent-up anger. Not for anything. He doesn’t deserve my wrath and I won’t give it to him, even provoked.
“So, you’re good with knives and throwing stars. We’ll use our hands.” He’s grasping at straws.
“Can’t happen.”
“Why? You a chicken.” Kade attempts to rile me up. It won’t work.
“Nope. I already told you.”
Swift as a snake strike, Kade tackles me from behind. Time slows as I’m catapulted into my element. I toss my knife between two trees, so I don’t accidentally stab him. Then I teach the sexy idiot a lesson. One second, he’s got his arms around my waist, lifting me off the ground in a bear hold, laughing a dark, evil laugh. The next, I press down hard on two pressure points on his arms, forcing him to release me. Dropped back on my feet, I spin on the Hot Biker Boy. A quick pressure point jab to the side of his neck and he’s out for the count. Before his unconscious body can hit the ground like a ton of bricks, I catch his bulky frame in my arms and lay him on the forest floor. Three breaths pass before he blinks up at me, disoriented. Kneeling on the dirt beside him, I pat his cheek affectionately, trying not to smile.
“Holy fuck,” he croaks, massaging his throat, looking up at me in wide-eyed wonder.
Sitting back, palms flat on the top of my thighs, I smirk at the handsome fool. “I told you.”
“You’re a witch,” Kade states with such affection my heart beats a little faster.
I shake my head. “No. I’ve trained in various martial arts all my life.”
“Can you teach me how you did that?” He sounds hopeful.
My smirk grows to a full tenderhearted smile. “Maybe another time.”
Kade cups the side of my neck, drawing me closer. His thumb caresses me there in tiny circles. I place a palm on his pec to keep from toppling over. It’s warm and sturdy beneath my touch, like the man himself. It flexes. I gasp a noiseless breath. Our eyes delve into one another’s, the connection comfortable and safe. “I wanna kiss you,” he rasps, then samples his bottom lip as if he tastes me there.
Transfixed. There’s no other word to describe this… him… us… together.
“You… I…” Strong, overpowering sensations swirl deep in my belly, stealing my ability to speak, to think, as the heat of a thousand suns flare between my thighs. I squeeze them together to dull the ache. It doesn’t work. Lost in the moment, I sample my own bottom lip, wondering what it might be like to kiss him, just once. For the first time. The only time. My first in forever. The more I contemplate, stare, feel, the quicker doubt creeps in and reality stabs me in the chest, ripping it open, pouring blood.
I can’t do this. I… can’t. This isn’t right.
The grip on my neck tightens as if Kade can read my face like a storybook. “I know you’re not ready. But you still deserve to know.”
I… he’s… I don’t know what to say.
“Thank… you.” Emotions clog my throat.
Kade’s brows knit in confusion. “For what?”
“Understanding.” It means more than he’ll ever know.
Tears sprout to my eyes. I swallow thickly, looking anywhere but his face. I can’t take this right now. The closeness… his kindness, it’s far too much.
Kade’s fingers drop away. “Always,” he vows, making this hurt even more, as I scramble to my feet and disappear into the night, tears streaming down my cheeks.
I need to be alone.
Need to feel my sense of normal again.
What’s worse… After tonight, I don’t even know if that’s possible.
What have I done?
What have I done?
Chapter Ten
Rosie
Legs crossed in the middle of the twin bed, phone held to my ear, I listen to Big drone on and on, trying his best to get me on board with his plan. That won‘t happen, but he can sure try. “This is what Ryker wants.”
“Frankly, I don’t give a shit what he wants.”
We’re arguing over today’s newest shit show. As predicted, Ryker’s little bedroom sleepover last night with Kat was for selfish reasons. From this day forth, he decided to ditch Kat full stop. Well, it was Big’s and Bear’s idea. They need him to stay with his wife, Vanessa, twenty-four/seven to keep tabs on her. The rat’s been up to something with the rival club and they don’t want to give her a chance to feed them any more info we can’t recover or stop before it’s processed. Money’s involved. Lots. Her bank account keeps getting fatter and fatter. To solve this, they want Ryker there to gather intel and keep an eye out— to be the inside man like he has been during the daytime before he spends his nights here on the couch. Not in Katrina’s bed. Not like he did last night. Talk about a head fuck for her. What did he think the result would be? She’d be pleased he gave her some table scraps before he ran off to be with his wife?
The thing is, him pulling this on her isn’t the issue. Sure, I’m pissed on Katrina’s behalf, but he’s leaving her in my capable hands. It’s the other thing they’ve sanctioned I’m upset about. It’s Kade. He’ll be living here. It was the only thing Ryker asked for when he conceded to living full-time with his wife in that shithole trailer of hers.
“Rosie, don’t be unreasonable,” Big states in that presidential way of his. It not only makes him sound badass, it somehow makes you want to comply. Over the years, Big has tried pretty much every tactic in the handbook to get me to do his bidding when I don’t want to. Sometimes it works. Most of the time, it doesn’t.
I pick at the seam of my jeans, bored. “I already live with three other females. Now you want Kade to sleep here, too?”
“Maybe not every night, but that’s what Ryker wants. If he can’t be there, he wants his brother there with his old lady.”
If I didn’t already detest Ryker, I might commend his thoughtfulness.
“So he can be with his other woman,” I comment.
“It’s not like that. You know it’s not.”
True… but…
“Kade and Katrina don’t know that,” I defend in their stead.
“You know why they can’t.”
Oh, I do. Kade would murder Vanessa without hesitation if he knew the kind of slimy crap she’s doing. They’re smart not to tell him, if they want to keep her alive. Doesn’t matter if she’s pregnant, I wouldn’t put it past the dark prince to off her, regardless. It’s not like he believes the baby is Ryker’s anyhow. He’s made that clear from the talks I’ve overheard between him, Bear and Ghost.
“What do you expect me to do?” I ask.
“What you’ve been sent to do. What you’ve been doing.”
That’s easy for him to say, he’s there while I’m here.
“Sitting on my ass, bored out of my mind,” I groan.
“Consider this a vacation.”
“I didn’t ask for a vacation.”
“Then think of it— ”
“As torture,” I finish for him.
Big sighs. “Rosie, I know this is takin’ longer than we expected.”
“Ya think? What are they planning? Why’s it taking so long? Do you know how many women I could’ve sent to Whisky and Bonez in the time I’ve been here?” Two, four, maybe even a dozen. We can’t know for sure, now can we?
“You know this is important,” he reasons, tone patient. Anything else from Big at this point and I’d hang up. I’ve spent days on edge. Days. If he was coming at me like he did yesterday, with all that stand down bullshit, I’d let him have it.
“And they’re not?” I test.
“You know that’s not what I’m
sayin’.”
“Now I’m supposed to sit on my ass, again, with Kade in the house, and what? Not think about the women being shipped off to God knows where, being raped, murdered, and shot up with laced heroin?” Yes, I’m laying it on thick. Ask me if I care? I don’t. Behind my eyelids is where they live, in such vivid color I could almost reach out and touch them. There are four young women standing in an ice-cold cellar, naked. Piss runs down the inside of legs so thin they’re no wider than a toothpick. The stench of excrement and BO is so vile, it makes it hard to breathe. They’re nothing more than skeletons draped in pallid flesh. Their hands reach out for me to save them. To set them free. What’s worse is I can’t reach them. They’re too far away… a figment of hacked up memories swirling in the abyss of my mind.
I blink.
Reality rushes back in.
Sunshine filters through the open blinds, turning my bed and the floor into zebra stripes.
We were discussing Kade, right?
That was what I’m fighting Big about.
Last night, I got too close to him. Today, I’m forced to live with him in this cabin for however long it takes. There won’t be any escape from the dark prince. And there won’t be any escape from these strange feelings or this… whatever it is. I can’t do it. I could handle the Katrina thing, the inactive lifestyle. I have been doing it. But this… this is taking things too far.
“I dunno what to say,” Prez replies.
Of course, he doesn’t. There’s nothing to say. He can’t fix this. Not yet, anyhow. What’s worse, neither can I. It’s a waiting game. Tick Tock.
Lying down flat on the mattress, staring up at the ceiling, I tell Big what he needs to do, to help me help him. “Send them to me, Big. Send. Them. Piss them off. I don’t care. Just send them. The quicker they show their faces, the quicker I can kill them all and get back to my regularly scheduled programing.” The sooner I’ll feel normal.
“I’ll do what I can. In the meantime, play nice with Kade.”
“What if I can’t?” I mutter aloud to myself. After I fled our almost kiss yesterday, I’ve decided I need separation from him from here on out. Then this happens… Karma and I haven’t been on speaking terms in years. The bitch likes to fuck me over. Today, she threw down the gauntlet.
The giant on the other end of the line has the audacity to snicker. It’s brief, but it’s there, mocking me. “You can. You have more patience than anyone I know.”
Patience. Ha. The person I used to be remains to be unseen. She’s gone. I barely remember her.
“Not here, I don’t. You benched me yesterday, remember, and we had words. You’re not my favorite person right now.” And he won’t be for a while.
“I know I’m not. I’ll make it up to you later.”
Sure, when pigs fly.
“How?” Closing my eyes, I listen to the noise on Big’s end of the line. The brothers are up to something. A party, perhaps?
“I dunno yet, but I will,” he pledges.
“It better be damn good. I don’t like short leashes.”
“It will be. This is temporary. Remember that.”
That’s easier said than done.
“Uh huh,” I mumble.
“Stop sulking.”
Asshole.
“I’m not sulking.”
“Kade’s not that bad. You’ll like him better than Ryker,” Big’s attempt to pacify me does fuckall.
Anyone’s better than Ryker. That’s not the issue. I… um… think I might like him, like him. Kade. Not his brother. That wasn’t the plan. None of this was.
Not letting Big know my true feelings, I reply a vague, “Sure. Yep.”
“Christ, I’m gonna pay for this later, aren’t I?”
In ways he can’t even imagine.
“Smart man.” A wicked grin curls at the thought.
“Fuck. Okay. Stay safe. Behave.”
It’s my turn to snicker. “Yes, Dad.”
Big unleashes a slew of curses under his breath. The words fuck and pain in my balls are part of the highlight reel. When he’s through, he grumbles a none-too-happy, “I’m hanging up now.”
Because I don’t have the strength to say more, I repay his grumpiness with a, “Uh huh,” of my own.
“Later.” Big hangs up and I toss my phone on the nightstand beside my bed, not caring where it lands.
Not three seconds later, there’s a knock at my bedroom door. See, Karma hates my stinkin’ guts. What I can’t understand is why. What did I ever do to her?
“Yes?” I call out, not moving from my position on top of the comforter as I draw shapes across the cotton; anxious, impatient, edgy.
“R-Rosie?” The tiny voice that belongs to Roxie wavers.
Not wanting to scare the girl with my sour mood, I aim for friendly-ish. My ultra-feminine tenor helps aid the delivery. “What can I help you with?”
“Scarlett and I want to know if you’ll come to our bedroom.” The renewed strength of her words is a relief. The last thing we need is Roxie and Scarlett afraid of me. We don’t have a close relationship, per my insistence, but I don’t ignore them either. They’re kids who are going through a lot. If I can help the process go smoothly, then I will. In my own way. We all know I don’t excel at the mom stuff, and they don’t have room for another mom anyhow. Katrina’s got that down pat. I’m more of an… antisocial houseguest that makes them food and strings four of five words together at meals. We also sit on the couch together and watch movies every now and again. That requires little socializing. And we know I’m an expert at that.
“Is something wrong?” Please say there’s not.
“No. I… We have something for you.”
Oh. Hmm.
Confused, eyebrows pinched together, I try to dissect what they’d want me for. “O-kay. Give me a second. I’ll meet you there.”
“Thanks.”
Keeping my tone light, I maintain the charade. “You’re welcome.”
Little feet shuffle away, and I sit up in bed. Running my fingers through my disheveled hair, I glance at the closed doorway. What could these kids want? I wish I knew.
Determined to find out sooner rather than later, I scoot to the edge of the mattress, legs dangling over the side. Looking down, I gauge my wardrobe. Plain black t-shirt, black jeans, black socks… Can you see a pattern here? Even my bra and panties are black. It suits me.
I pocket a knife before padding to the exit sans shoes. The door opens with a slight creak and a handful of seconds later, I’m standing at the threshold of Roxie and Scarlett’s fairy princess inspired bedroom. Suddenly, a frog lodges in my throat and my knees lock in place. On the floor, boots off, toes wiggling, is none other than the dark prince himself, Kade. Scarlett’s busy removing glitter polish on his, dare I say, attractive toes. Jesus. Who says that? Who even thinks that? My toes are tiny. Barely there. I wear a size five in women’s shoes. There’s not much to them. But Kade has long, straight toes, and slender feet. On any other person I find feet grotesque. Not him. I’ve yet to find a single physical flaw that doesn’t match strike my libido to horny teenager mode instantly.
Beside Scarlett is Roxie, her legs folded Indian style. Between them there’s a pink plastic bin full of nail polish, remover, cotton balls, files, and Q-tips.
Rox’s eyes light up in innocent delight upon my arrival. “Come in. Come in.” She waves closer and points to the spot beside her uncle, who’s getting some sort of clear coat on his bare toenails.
Head tipped back, Kade beams an equally delightful smile in my direction. “Pedicure, Swan?”
I’ve never had one of those before. Never worn nail polish of any sort. When I was a child, I was too poor, as an adult the thought never crossed my mind. Between work, motherhood, deaths, and my own brand of recovery I’ve been a tad preoccupied.
Roxie pulls black nail polish from the bin. The bottle is shaped like a skull. Scarlett quits working on her uncle’s toes for a second to hand Rox a bottle of gray gl
itter. Guess that’s what she wants to use on me.
When I don’t move from the doorway, Rox points to my spot a second time.
Kade pats the ground there, emphasizing the area within arm’s reach. “Come on, Swan, don’t keep the girls waiting,” he singsongs, making me want to punch him in the Adam’s apple.
I narrow my eyes at the sinister biker before complying with Rox’s request. Not his.
Legs straight out, hands folded in my lap, I rest my feet in front of Roxie. The sooner she gets this over with, the sooner I can lock myself in my bedroom.
Kade’s gaze burns into the side of my skull as his niece removes my socks and applies the same clear coat to my toes that Scarlett applied to their uncle’s.
“Kat’s resting,” Kade remarks, clearly speaking to me.
I ignore him and the three feet that separates us. It’s not enough. Five would be better.
“Tree tonight?” he says next.
To dry my toes faster Rox blows on them as Scarlett applies dark-purple polish to Kade’s nails. I do my best to pretend he doesn’t exist. It’s for the best.
An irritated grumble manifests from the man beside me before he speaks again. “Oh. I see how it is, you’re ignoring me.”
Glad he’s finally caught on.
“It’s better this way,” I control my tone, body language impassive. Not looking at him is also what’s best for us. I focus on the sweep of the brush as Roxie applies the black in careful strokes. Out of the corner of my eye, Scarlett begins a second coat of Kade’s eggplant purple.
“What way?” The rumble in his chest intensifies.
“That we don’t communicate.”
“Girls cover your ears. Please.” Kade addresses his nieces, voice tight.
“What—” I start, then watch in fascination as both Roxie and Scarlett replace the polish wands before their blonde heads bow down, eyes close, and ears plug with tiny fingers in ultimate compliance.
“What the fuck?” Kade then hisses under his breath, low enough the girls shouldn’t be able to hear. I shouldn’t find it attractive that he’s protecting them from his foul language, but, once again, he’s… ugh, I’m not even going to say it. Trust me, you already know because you’re feeling it too.
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