Rescued Hearts

by Angela Nicole

  Emily is due on November 11 so if I can come home a few days before that maybe we will luck out and he will be on time.

  Emily shifts in my arms but doesn’t wake up. I glance down at her and can’t help but smile. Jesus, I love her so much and I want to make sure that she and the baby are looked after. I have been debating the best way to do that. I need to have a conversation with her in the morning and I am not sure what she will think.

  Holy crap, I must have slept all night. The sun is shining through my window and I can feel the warmth coming in. It has been so hot here in Florida and I am thankful that I am not due until November because I can’t imagine being as big as a house during the summer heat.

  I roll over to my side to find the bed empty. Oh God, I wonder if Mac left last night. I thought I felt his arms around me, but I could have been dreaming.

  After a quick trip to the bathroom, I wander into the kitchen and what a gorgeous sight it is. He is sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the paper. Gosh, it is like we are a married couple doing normal married things.

  “Good morning, Mac.” I say as I open the refrigerator looking for the orange juice. Just play it cool, I tell myself.

  Mac gets up from the table grabbing the juice from me. “Let me fix that for you.” I almost tell him that I can fix it myself, but that would be a dumb thing to do.

  “What do you usually have for breakfast Em?” Even though he is asking me a question, he doesn’t look me in the eyes. Hmmm. Is he embarrassed about what happened last night?

  “Just some cereal but I am not quite hungry yet.”

  He looks nervous about something. Mac has always been the most confident person I have ever met so I am starting to freak out a little.

  “Mac, what is it? What’s wrong?” I ask, not sure if I want to know the answer.

  “Nothing is really wrong but then again everything isn’t really right either.”

  “Oh God, just tell me. Please you are making me a nervous wreck.”

  Mac takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

  “I think we should get married Emily.” He chokes out.

  Um, maybe I am dreaming this conversation because I just heard the love of my life tell me that we should get married. That can’t be right.

  “Excuse me, what did you just say?”

  He clears his throat. “I said we should get married.”

  “We should get married? You want to marry me?” I ask him.

  “Yes, Emily. I have been worried about some things and getting married will fix some of those.”

  What? He wants to marry me to fix something. What the hell is he talking about?

  “What things Mac?”

  He clears his throat again. “Well for one, you will have health insurance for you and the baby. I know that paying for it out of pocket is too much. Two, because we are not married I can’t get paternity leave. I have to use the leave I have left which is about two weeks, but paternity leave would allow me to be home with you for at least ten more days.”

  I can’t believe this. I have fantasized about marrying this man ever since I was a teenager but because of love not obligation. My heart lurches into my throat.

  “Emily, what are you thinking? I know this came out of nowhere, but I do think it is the right thing to do for our son.”

  Maybe for a split second my heart was ready to explode with joy at the idea of being Mrs. Emily MacAlister but then reality sets in.

  “Are those the only reasons you want to marry me?” As soon as I ask the question I regret it.

  “Well to be honest Emily. I can’t imagine another man raising my son.”

  And there it is. Un-fucking-believable. He wants to marry me to alleviate any guilt he has for getting me pregnant. I need to take some deep breaths before I unload on him.

  “Emily, say something. Please.”

  “Where do I even begin?” I say shaking my head.

  “I guess you begin by saying yes.” He says trying to lessen the tension, but it doesn’t work.

  “I am only going to say this once Sean MacAlister.” I am now almost nose to nose with him except I always have to look up. “I will only marry once in my life and it will be for love. I will not marry out of a sense of obligation or to have better health insurance or even to have a premade family for my son.”

  “Our son, Emily, not just yours.” Mac says defensively.

  Dammit. I did not want to ever argue with him about this. But how dare he ask me to marry him.

  “You are right, I’m sorry. He is our son and he will always be, but I can’t marry you, Mac.”

  Way to go asshole. I can’t believe I thought so little of her that she would settle for me. Of course, she wants to marry someone she loves, anklijd she should. “No, Emily don’t apologize. I never meant to upset you, I just want to be able to take care of you and our son even when I am not here. You should never settle when it comes to love and marriage.”

  Emily gives me a look that I can’t quite discern.

  “Mac, our son will only ever know you as a father. No one will ever take that away from you. When I look into the future there isn’t a time where I can’t imagine you a part of my life.” Maybe she is just trying to reassure me, but she can’t predict the future especially when she finds someone she loves.

  “Look Emily, can we just please forget the marriage conversation. I feel like a dick. We had such a great night, I never meant to ruin it.”

  “Forgotten.” She says as she reaches for the cereal box.

  The next few minutes pass by silently. It is Emily who speaks first.

  “What do you have planned for the rest of your time home?”

  Ok, well I planned to spend all my time with her helping to get ready for the baby, but I think that isn’t going to happen now.

  “I really didn’t have any set plans, but I thought maybe now that we know we are having a boy, we could do some shopping.” I say hopeful that she still wants to be around me.

  “That sounds like a good idea. Maybe we could pick out some outfits and some things for his room.” She says not even looking at me.

  Shit. I need to salvage these next two days quickly.

  Reign it in Em. Don’t be a bitch to Mac, I say to myself as I let the water run over me in the shower. Mac went to the apartment above the bar to get cleaned up. We agreed to meet at MacAlister’s at ten, so I have two hours to get my head on straight.

  I feel terrible about how I reacted to Mac’s pseudo marriage proposal. I would give anything for Mac to want to marry me because he loves me. I know that he wants to take care of me and the baby because he is a loyal man, but I don’t want him to settle either. I love him too much for that, but I must be honest, the thought of him marrying someone else makes my heart break.

  I guess I can’t worry about that at this moment. I have two days left to spend with him before he goes back, and I want to make the most of it.

  Looking through my closet, I pick out a cute green vintage dress and a pair of red kitten heels. I always loved the look of vintage dresses, they make me feel sophisticated. I dry and curl my hair and pull it up into a high ponytail.

  Grabbing my keys from the kitchen counter, I notice a note. Mac left me a note?

  Emily,

  I never thought I would have to apologize for proposing to someone, but I am truly sorry for offending you. It was not my intention. I just want you to realize how special you are and there isn’t anyone else I would want to have my child but you. I know I said to forget my proposal and even though I won’t ask again the offer still stands.

  See you soon,

  XO

  Mac

  Geez, this man is going to be the death of me. I can’t even think about marrying Mac. Yes, I know I am in love with him but there is no way I want to be with someone who doesn’t love me in a romantic sense.

  I know I was pissed about his reasoning when he asked me, but I think I was in shock. I can now see the propos
al as his way of taking responsibility and maybe if I didn’t love him, I’d consider it.

  When I get to the bar to pick Mac up, I see the town flirt, Vanessa Madison talking to Mac. My hackles go up and I paste a fake smile on my face.

  Vanessa dated Mac for a brief time. When she found out that he was not going to get rich being in the military, she latched on to a local doctor, Peter Miller.

  “Hi Vanessa, what are you doing here so early in the morning? Where’s Peter?” I ask as sweetly as I can.

  Mac snorts and I glare at him.

  “Oh, hi Emily, I didn’t see you come in.” Vanessa says curtly. I guess I spoiled the bitch’s plans.

  “Oh, Peter and I broke up months ago.” She says smiling at Mac. “I came over to invite Mac to a barbeque I am having at the beach later today.”

  Mac starts to answer but I beat him to it. “Oh Vanessa, Mac and I are going to do some baby shopping today.” I tell her while placing my hand on my belly.

  “You see, now that Mac and I know that our baby is a boy we can go get all sorts of blue things for his nursery.” As soon as it comes out of my mouth I feel as though I am having an out of body experience. I have never been a catty type of woman but damn, I hate her.

  I see Mac standing behind her, he is looking down at the floor shaking his head. He looks up at me and grins. He comes around from behind the bar and puts his arm around my shoulder. I look over at Vanessa who looks like she can’t run out of here fast enough.

  “Vanessa, I am going to spend the day with Emily.” He turns to me and looks not at me but almost through me and I gasp. “I only have two more days home and I want to spend it with my family but thanks for the invite.”

  I start to feel sorry for her but then I imagine her with Mac and I am back to hating her.

  “Ok then, I guess I should be going. I have lots to do before the barbeque.”

  “Have a nice day.” I yell out to her as she hurries out the door.

  Wow, I did not expect that type of reaction from Emily. She has never been the jealous type but I have to admit it turned me on.

  “What was that about?” I ask her.

  “I don’t like her, and what the hell did you ever see in her Mac?”

  “Well, I wasn’t exactly looking for a relationship with her if you know what I mean.”

  “Jesus Mac, spare me the details. Let’s go before I change my mind about letting you go shopping with me.”

  Oh, she thinks she can stop me?

  “Well if you would rather I not go with you I can call Vanessa and tell her I will see her at the barbeque.” I say jokingly. Someone should have warned me that pregnant women don’t have a sense of humor.

  “Would you rather go screw around with Vanessa instead of being with me today?” Oh boy is she pissed. “Because if so, then be my guest.” She says as she starts out the door.

  I chase after her and when I am close enough I grab her by the arm and spin her around to face me. “Oh no you don’t. You better not walk away from me like this.” I tell her and before I know it, her mouth is on mine and she is in full control. Her hands move down my back onto my ass. She groans into my mouth tempting me to take her upstairs. I pull her away and we are both breathing heavily.

  “Emily, if I take you upstairs, we will never get leave.”

  “Oh God, I am sorry Mac. These hormones have me all over the place. I want us to go shopping together, sorry I got carried away.” She says embarrassed.

  I take her back into my arms. I nuzzle my face into her neck. “You never have to apologize for kissing me. It is taking everything I have to go shopping and not take you upstairs and make love to you.”

  She looks at me and smiles. “We better get out of here and in public, so I don’t jump your bones or anything.”

  I wink at her and walk her out to the car.

  We had a great day shopping. Mac was such a good sport, especially when I picked out a breast pump. I could tell he was embarrassed but he said he wanted me to get as much as I could while he was here.

  We picked out an outfit for when the baby comes home from the hospital. It is a blue shirt and short set that says, “Daddy’s best friend”. I saw Mac’s face light up when he saw it, so I put it in the basket. Thinking about bringing the baby home without Mac makes us both teary eyed so we avoid the subject.

  We also picked out some books to read to him. I read that it is important to read to the baby even before he is born. Mac bought a few to take back with him. He said he wants to read to his son via video chat. When he told me that, well, I fell a little more in love with him.

  Arriving back at my house, Mac unloads the car while I head in to pee. They weren’t kidding when the said that I would have to run to the bathroom a lot. After doing my business, I am checking myself in the mirror when suddenly the strangest feeling happens.

  “Mac!” I scream.

  I hear dishes crashing to the floor in the kitchen and heavy footsteps thumping down the hallway.

  Mac comes running into the bathroom, “Jesus Christ, Emily are you alright?”

  “I think the baby moved.” I say now maybe a little embarrassed at how fast he came running.

  “The baby moved?” Mac asks with his eyebrows raised in a way that would suggest that my scream was a little too much.

  “Yes?” I say as if it were a question.

  “My God, Emily, I thought something was wrong.” He sits down on the edge of the tub, shaking his head. “Do you know that a thousand and one terrible scenarios ran through my head in those few seconds?

  “Mac, I am sorry that I worried you. I just have never felt the baby move before and it shocked me. Are you mad?”

  His face is in his hands, “I am not mad, I am relieved. I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to your or the baby. I love you.” He looks up at me with pleading eyes.

  I gasp. He must be kidding me. Or I know he means as a friend, he loves me as a friend. So, I do the only thing I can, I shrug it off. I start to walk out the door and he grabs me by the wrist. “Emily, did you hear what I just said? I love you.”

  Ok, that sounded like more than a friendly ‘Love you.’

  “Yeah, Mac I love you too. Do you want to stay for dinner?” I have to get out of this small room before I am pulled into some sort of fantasy where Mac MacAlister just professed his love for me. As I start to walk around him, he pulls me by my waist and kisses me like it is our last day on earth.

  I break away from his kiss breathing as if I am coming up for air from underwater. “God damnit Mac. You can’t just tell me that like you are in love with me. It’s not fair.”

  As I retreat down the hall back to the kitchen, he doesn’t follow.

  Well, ok. I certainly was not planning on telling her that I love her but dammit, I got scared. Scared that something happened to her or the baby. Shit! How am I going to go in the kitchen and face her?

  What the hell am I supposed to say? I’m sorry for loving you ever since I was a kid. I’m sorry that I got you pregnant and think it is the best damn thing that has ever happened. I can’t do that but fuck, the look she gave me was as if I crushed her soul.

  I hear her cleaning up my mess as I come down the hall into the kitchen.

  “Let me.” I say as I grab the broom and dust pan from her hands.

  “I can do it Mac. I don’t need your help.” Her words are harsh, and I can see that she regrets them. “Sorry. I guess I am more emotional today than I have been.” She is avoiding looking at me while she speaks.

  “I guess you caught me a little off guard when you told me you loved me. I mean, as friends I know you love me Mac. We have been in each other’s lives for so long and have shared so much”, she rubs her hand over her belly, “and we will continue to share great moments.” Tears start to roll down her cheeks as she starts to sweep up the broken dish. I grab the broom from her hand and lean it against the counter.

  I pull her into my arms, “Why are you crying, Emily?


  She tries to pull out of my arms, but I hang on tighter.

  “Mac, I am so embarrassed, can we please just let it go?” She says turning her head away.

  “Let what go exactly? The fact that I love you and I have since we were kids? The fact that by some miracle you are giving me the family that I have always dreamed about? Or the fact that when I touch you it is as if your heart beats for mine?”

  Her head shakes, “This can’t be real, I must be in a freaking dream.” Well the fact she said dream and not nightmare gives me some hope.

  “I didn’t plan to tell you like this, hell, I never planned on telling you ever but when I heard your scream from the bathroom, I knew I had to say something. Look, Emily, I don’t expect you to ever feel the same way about me.” It takes everything I have to not look away from her.

  “Mac?” She whispers, and I can barely register it.

  “I have only ever loved you. You have been the guy in my dreams, my fantasies,” she quickly turns her eyes to me, “the guy who I wanted to take me to prom.” She places my face in her hands. “The only guy who will ever own my heart.”

  I smash my mouth to hers. She is owning not just my heart but my body as well, and my body wants to be hers. Our hands are roaming over each other trying to find buttons and zippers. The broken dish has been forgotten.

  I awake to find Mac laying on his side facing me. I glance over his shoulder at the clock and it’s 3:00 am. It’s all I can do to not wake him and have a repeat of the most sensual sex I have ever had. He is so perfect, and he loves me. He said he loved me. I can’t believe we have been in love with each other for so long, when I think about how much time has passed when we could have been together, I get pissed.

  Would we be married with children, so in love we couldn’t see straight? Would Mac have gone in the Air Force? Would Jackson ever have allowed us to be together?

  I roll over and rub my eyes.