Painted Lines

by Brei Betzold

  “What?” he mouthed, and I pointed at my head, he reached up then laughed and shrugged.

  Liam sat down on one side of me and Kale on the other. I looked between them wondering what this was about.

  “You know they are going to be pissed, right?”

  “Huh?”

  Liam bumped his shoulder against mine. “Now don’t get me wrong, he is hot, but is it worth pissing them off?”

  I glanced over at Thayne and found him watching us, a worried look on his face.

  “I don’t know if he’s worth it, but I do know that it is worth finding out.”

  Kale nodded, “Just be careful.”

  I nodded and looked over at Liam. “I’ve been thinking, Harper Lee, it’s time for you to live, even if they don’t see it yet.”

  Then the guys came back, and we stood back up, waiting for the results.

  Eddie walked back in and up to the front with a sheet of paper and began reading off the results. He started at the bottom and moved up. When we got to the third name on the list and he called our group I looked over at Simon and smiled.

  Once he was finished and Matt’s team won, I leaned over and whispered Simon, “Not last place.”

  We waited for them to set up next week’s challenge, then were corralled back to our spots. When we were finally where they wanted us, with me once again dodging hands as they placed us, we watched Eddie come back up to the front.

  “This challenge we will be seeing your metal working skills,” he started. “You will be given one hour today to plan a frame, from scratch.”

  “Hmm, have fun, Liam,” I murmured and headed to our bay. I would have nothing to do the next few days, Liam won’t let Simon or me come near his creation unless it’s to play gopher.

  Chapter 22

  I pulled out my sketch pad and pencils and offered them to Liam but he shook them off.

  “No, you do it,” he told me, then went about explaining what he wanted. From there he built off the initial sketch until he was happy with what we had, and with thirty seconds remaining on the clock. I let out a breath and stood up and stretched.

  “So,” I said.

  “So?” Liam asked.

  “Why didn’t you sketch it out?”

  “Because you always sketch it out,” he said confused.

  I thought back and realized he was right; he and I would bounce off ideas in certain aspects with me sketching.

  “Okay, who’s ready to go home?” Simon asked.

  We filed into the house laughing and shoving one another, though all of a sudden all three guys stopped walking in front of me and blocked my view. I tried to peer between them but there wasn’t space.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “Nothing,” Simon whispered.

  I heard voices but couldn’t understand what was being said, then the sound of flesh hitting flesh. I winced then started worrying about Cas.

  “Where’s Cas?”

  “He’s fine, Harper Lee,” Liam murmured.

  There was a bang that sounded like a door and the guys moved out of the way, I ran into the living room, Cas was walking back in the room away from the kitchen. I looked him over and found blood on his knuckles, I reached out and grabbed his hand and looked them over.

  “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing you need to worry about,” Cas replied pulling his hand from mine.

  “Something is going on,” I yelled. “Why won’t you tell me?”

  “It’s nothing you need to worry about, Scout,” Cas growled, “now let it go.”

  “Of course, I mean, why would we break the routine now? Don’t tell Scout anything, keep lying to her, it’s easier,” I mocked.

  “Scout, that’s enough,” he barked.

  “Cas, why are you home?”

  “What?”

  “Why. Are. You. Home?” I asked enunciating each word.

  “I was sent home.”

  “Lie,” I told him. “Cas, why are you home?”

  “I was sent home,” Cas yelled.

  “Why were you sent home, Cas?”

  “I had things to take care of.”

  “What things?”

  “Drop it, Scout, I’m warning you.”

  “What things, Cas?”

  “You, god damn it, I had to take care of you,” he bellowed.

  “What about me did you have to take care of?” I screamed.

  “To keep you from fucking getting locked up again,” he replied. “Happy now, did you get what you want?”

  “What I want?” I asked stunned. “Why would I be locked up?”

  “Because you’re unstable, because a doctor decided you were unsafe to yourself and others, and has been trying to get you committed,” he yelled. “So are you happy now? I left everyone behind, I left my unit behind to take care of you, and you can’t do a damn thing that I ask, can you? I ask you to stay away from that guy, and do you? No. I ask you to quit, and do you? No. Me though, me, I give everything up for you.”

  “Cas, when have I ever asked you to give up anything for me?” I shrieked. “Name one time that I said Cas give up your life for me? Cas protect me from my own shadow? Hey Cas, make all my decisions?”

  “You said all that when you let Tristan do that to you. You should have fought, I taught you to fight, Scout,” he roared.

  “Fuck you, Cas and stay the fuck out of my life,” I snarled.

  I spun around and found four sets of eyes trained on us in horror. I pushed past everyone ignoring Cas screaming at me not to leave, I flipped him off and went out the door slamming it on my way. I made sure I had keys to both bikes then climbed on Angel and headed out. I ended up at the diner I had been meeting Thayne at.

  I went inside and ordered a cup of coffee then pulled my phone out.

  ME: YOU BUSY

  THAYNE: NO WHY

  ME: NEED HELP

  THAYNE: WHERE R U

  ME: DINER

  THAYNE: 5 MIN STAY PUT PLZ

  I had to laugh at that, the first person to be polite when giving me an order.

  My phone vibrated across the table then hit the floor, I let it lay there, and I didn’t really care at this point. I wanted to talk to someone who wouldn’t lie to me, and I, on some unconscious basis, realized that was Thayne, or maybe I just needed someone who actually heard me, and once again that was Thayne. When had that happened, had Cas always blamed me, had they always lied to me, and I was just blind to it all? I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything anymore.

  “Hey, get out of your head,” Thayne told me sitting down across from me.

  “Thanks for coming,” I mumbled.

  “You sounded like you needed a friend.”

  “Yeah, you could say that.”

  “Wanna talk about it?”

  “No, but I think I need to,” I answered honestly, so I told him about coming home, about Cas and my argument, about what Cas had said. I even went back telling him about the parking lot incident when he had said basically the same thing.

  “He didn’t mean it, Scout,” Thayne told me adamantly. “I know the guy doesn’t like me, and I can kinda understand why, but he didn’t mean what he said to you.”

  “He’s said it more than once.”

  “Yeah, and I’m not making excuses, because I am pissed that he’s taking his shit out on you, but it sounds like he’s been under a lot of stress and dealing with a lot.”

  “Not that I would know,” I muttered.

  “Yeah, he should stop hiding crap from you, but you haven’t minded before.”

  “Are you really going to take his side?”

  He put his hands up. “No I am not, but be honest with yourself here, you didn’t mind before, did you?”

  I shook my head no.

  “So if you’ve never cared before and you haven’t sat down and had a conversation where both sides listen, how is he to know it’s not business as usual?”

  “I’ve tried to talk to him, he doesn’t listen.”
/>
  “You’re going to have to make him.”

  I leaned my head back to rest against the booth. “I just feel so lost and confused, like I don’t know who anyone is anymore.”

  “Scout, sometimes you have to get lost to find yourself. I think you have the lost part down, now it’s time to find out what you want.”

  “How do I do that?”

  “That I can’t tell you, I would love to, but this is something you have to do on your own. I will be here, I will support you, but I cannot nor would I do it for you.”

  “What if you don’t like who I am?”

  “Scout, I don’t think that is going to be a problem. I’ve seen glimpses of her, and believe me I will more than like her,” he whispered.

  I wiped the tears from my cheeks and nodded. “I don’t want to go home yet,” I confessed.

  “No one is making you, but you do realize you will have to eventually?”

  “Yeah, I know, just not yet.”

  He slid my phone across the table, “Here, I think you dropped this.” Then we spent the next few hours drinking coffee, talking and Thayne coercing me to eat.

  When we were leaving, it was close to the time we usually met, Thayne sat down on my bike and looked me over. “Do me a favor, sweet cheeks, get some sleep, and more than a nap, real sleep.”

  “I can’t.”

  “You have to, or you are going to pass out while riding and get yourself killed.”

  “I’m fine,” I replied automatically.

  He scowled at me. “No, you are not fine, sleep, please, if not for me then for yourself.”

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “No, don’t think about it, just let your body have what it so desperately needs, please.”

  I sighed and nodded, “I’ll try.”

  “Thank you,” he replied and leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Drive home slowly and be safe.”

  I nodded and traded places with him, he grabbed my helmet and put it on my head then buckled it checking to make sure it was secure.

  “I would follow you home, but I know how much that will irritate you, so can you text me and let me know you got there okay?”

  I nodded then turned the bike on, gave him a wave bye and took off towards home.

  I pulled up into the driveway and turned off the bike then removed my helmet. I quickly sent Thayne a text saying I was home safe and sound then I headed inside.

  When I walked into the living room Cas, Simon, Liam, and Kale were sitting there staring at me. I bypassed them and went into the kitchen grabbing an energy drink and my meds. After draining the can, I tossed it into the trash and headed back into the living room.

  “Can I go to bed now?” I asked and four heads turned and looked at me like I was crazy.

  “Where the hell have you been?” Cas asked quietly.

  “Out,” I told him and went towards the bathroom to change into the pajamas I had been keeping in there.

  “I asked you a question,” he yelled.

  I closed the bathroom door and stripped out of my clothes then quickly pulled on a pair of capris and a tank top and headed back out.

  “And I told you I was out.”

  “Where the fuck were you?” he bellowed.

  I sighed and looked at him towering over me. “I was out drinking coffee, had some dinner, and then came home.”

  “Who were you with?” he asked grabbing my arm hard.

  “Thayne,” I told him glaring into his eyes.

  He shoved me and I stumbled tripping over the coffee table at which point the other three jumped up and started yelling at Cas. I pushed legs out of my way and stood up. I glared at all of them then headed down the hall where a hand came out grabbing my arm and pulling me into the master bedroom. It was a good thing I saw that hand or I would have screamed bloody murder, as it was my heart was beating a mile a minute.

  “I swear I could beat them all,” Cam said then locked the bedroom door.

  “Uhm, what are you doing?”

  “Going to bed, you coming?” she asked then went and sat down on the bed looking at me expectantly.

  I looked at her, shrugged, and climbed up on the bed, “What about Simon?”

  “Oh, he already knows he’s not sleeping in my bed tonight,” she said sounding pissed off.

  Yelling came from the other room but I laid down ignoring it; I was done with this tonight.

  “So how was your night?” I asked her.

  She laughed, “Oh it was fantastic, you left and I had four pissed off males to deal with, eventually I just took Zadok and locked the door.”

  “Sorry,” I mumbled.

  “Oh I am not mad at you. I am pissed off at them.”

  “Who was here when we came in earlier?”

  “Ace,” she told me, “him and Cas were fighting. He pissed Cas off, so Cas hit him then tossed him out the back door.”

  “Why not just tell me that?”

  “Because you would want to know what they were fighting over.”

  “No I wouldn’t, they were fighting over me.”

  “Yeah, partially, the other is for Cas to tell you, no matter how much I do not agree with him keeping things from you, it’s for him to tell you.”

  “Well,” I said turning over and gazed at the wall, “that will never happen.”

  Chapter 23

  I blinked, then blinked again, fighting to stay awake, it was after midnight and I could still hear them talking, I sighed and started counting anything I could in the room. I blinked again fighting to reopen my eyes, I opened them as wide as I could staring up at the ceiling, I looked over at the clock and it had only been three minutes since I had last looked. I knew if I went back out there that I would only be pulled into the argument they were having.

  I would’ve gotten up and paced but I was afraid of bumping into something and waking up Zadok or Cam. So I fought to keep from blinking but I could feel my eyes get more and more heavy, lethargy took over my body then I was gone. Sleep had finally caught up with me.

  I felt the bed dip and I whimpered which was answered with a slap across the face, then his fingers began running up and down the gashes he had left on my torso. He dug a finger in causing one to bleed again, I screamed. He slapped me again and told me to be quiet, he wanted to enjoy this. He pulled out his knife and cut my panties away, I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. He stood up and began taking his clothes off and I knew what he was going to do to me. I started begging and pleading with him not to do this, just kill me now. He laughed it off. After all his clothes were off, he climbed on top of me. I screamed and he punched me in the torso, I screamed louder. When he climbed off me, I thought I was safe, but he only grabbed my jaw digging his fingers in and shoving the rag back into my mouth. I heard tape rip then he slapped it hard over my bleeding mouth. He climbed back on top of me and I fought. I fought him as much as I could being bound to the bed. He laughed telling me loved me like this, feisty. He grabbed ahold of my hips jerking them against the bonds then proceeded to force himself into me. I stopped fighting, I stopped screaming, I laid there through the pain through the humiliation of him doing this to me. He finally grunted then pulled free of my body laughing at the fresh blood on my thighs, and I laid there, broken, beaten, just hoping he would kill me soon.

  Arms were holding me down and I fought, I fought as hard as I could through the shackles of their fingers, but I couldn’t get away.

  “Come on, scream, you little slut, scream for me,” he yelled as I continued to stare at the ceiling, he pulled back and punched me again. I didn’t move. I didn’t react. He pulled out a lighter grabbing my leg and putting the flame against my skin, and I withered in pain and let out a whimper, finally screaming. After he got that out of me, he climbed back on top of me, I turned my head and began dry heaving, and he slapped me. I couldn’t remember how many times he had violated my body at this point. I no longer cared, I just wished for death.

  “Shhh, come on, Scou
t,” I heard a voice whisper. “Leave that place.”

  He finished and laughed. “I have a present for you later, little one,” he said chuckling to himself then left. I passed out.

  “Scout,” a voice yelled, “that’s enough.”

  Cold water coated my skin and I jerked awake. “Wake up, little one,” his voice told me laughing hysterically. Then he grabbed my head and ripped the tape off, pulled out the rag and then proceeded to pour water into my mouth while holding my jaw open. I choked, it felt like I was drowning.

  “Harper Lee,” someone murmured, “come on, wake up.”

  “We’re going to have some fun, little one,” he told me. “You know what this is?” I stared at the ceiling ignoring him so he hit me. I continued to stare at the ceiling, “I made this for you, little one,” he told me then climbed on the bed. I waited for his body weight but it never came, sharp excruciating pain did though. I screamed with what voice I had, I begged him to stop, but he just continued, telling me how beautiful I looked. It felt like he was cutting me open from the inside out, and he was laughing. Then I heard a new voice say something, then he was off the bed and I passed out from the pain racking my body.

  I was so cold, why was I so cold? The water, he was back, I screamed fighting, begging him not to hurt me again. Slowly my body couldn’t move, my voice became faint then I couldn’t remember anything other than the blackness that surrounded me.

  “We can’t take her to the hospital, if we do, they will commit her this time,” I heard someone say.

  I couldn’t open my eyes, my body felt so heavy. I tried to open my eyes over and over but they wouldn’t respond to my commands. Eventually I drifted off to the place in between sleep and awake, I could hear voices, sometimes even understand them.

  Finally I was able to flutter my eyes, and then again, keeping them open longer this time. I looked around and found I was alone in Simon’s room. I tried to remember how I got here, then it came back and I wish it hadn’t, the time with Thayne, the fight with Cas, sleeping in here with Cameron, the nightmare, the rapes. I curled up into a ball and cried. I cried for the little girl whose body was broken, for the woman whose life was unequivocally changed. I cried giant racking sobs for all that was taken from me. I cried as I had never cried before mourning her loss.