Painted Lines

by Brei Betzold

  “Yeah,” I sighed. “I don’t wanna go home,” I whined.

  “Sorry Bella, time to face the music.”

  “Huh?”

  “You stayed out all night and didn’t tell them where you were, they are going to be pissed.”

  I shrugged, “Don’t care, I was at my boyfriend’s house having sex, they can deal.”

  He laughed, “Your boyfriend, huh?”

  I nodded then blushed, “Uhm I don’t know. Is that what you are?”

  “Yeah, Bella, that’s what I am,” he whispered and lightly kissed my lips. “But let’s not tell your brothers about the sex part, hmm?”

  I nodded, “Yeah, they might not take that well, huh?”

  He shook his head at me, “Ya think?”

  I got dressed quickly as I could, but I had a few distractions, namely a naked Thayne.

  “I didn’t notice the tattoos last night,” I murmured watching the flexing muscles in his back as he pulled on a pair of jeans.

  He laughed, “Then that means I did a good job.”

  I winked at him and headed to the kitchen where I could smell coffee but stopped when I saw Nikki sitting there. She raised her eyebrow taking me in then giggled.

  “Good morning, Scout,” she sing-songed.

  I flipped her off and headed for the coffee pot.

  “So what did you do last night?” she asked giggling at me.

  “Me,” Thayne said walking out of the bedroom, ruffling her hair as he passed by. She shrieked something about her hair then took off running to the bathroom and it was my turn to laugh.

  “Morning,” he whispered before leaning down and kissing me. I leaned back on the counter letting it bear some of my weight, as he kissed me breathless.

  When we finally broke apart at the gagging sound coming from Nikki, I was lightheaded.

  “Nikki, you ready to go?”

  “Yeah,” she mumbled around a mouthful of cereal.

  I leaned up and kissed him. “Okay I am heading out, see you in a few?”

  “Yeah, Bella,” he murmured before kissing me once again, I pushed him away laughing.

  “I’ve got to leave now, or we’ll be late.”

  He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. I watched his muscles ripple across his bare chest and swallowed hard.

  “Go,” he ordered, “now.”

  I nodded and headed for the front door grabbing my helmet and ran to Stella—I was so dead.

  When I walked in the door to the rental Cas was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and that twitch in his face telling me he was pissed.

  “Where the fuck have you been?” he thundered.

  I pushed past him, and when he went to grab me, I dodged. I went to my room only to find all my stuff packed up, I sighed and opened the top bag in search of clean clothes. When I finally had everything I needed, I headed to take a quick shower, only to be blocked by Cas once again.

  “I asked you a fucking question,” he yelled.

  “Out,” I told him going around him into the bathroom shutting and locking the door behind me. After a quick shower, I got dressed and let out a sigh of relief when I opened the door and didn’t see him there. I headed towards the kitchen, collecting my meds off the counter taking what I needed. Grabbing a bottle of orange juice from the fridge, I swallowed down my pills.

  “Where were you?” he seethed.

  “I told you, I was out,” I responded not looking at him.

  I walked the other way out of the kitchen and found everyone in the living room sitting there staring at me.

  “You guys ready?” I asked focusing on Liam and Kale.

  “Uhm sure,” Liam answered getting up and looking down at Kale.

  Kale shrugged and stood up. “Okay then.”

  I nodded and started heading for the door but Cas once again blocked my way. “Where were you?”

  “Out.”

  “Where?”

  “Out.” I replied again.

  “Where?”

  “We can keep this up all day Cas but I have plans, so if you would please excuse me,” I told him dodging around once again and heading toward the door but he snatched my arm pulling me back.

  “Where were you?” he bit out.

  “At a friend’s,” I told him.

  “You were with him,” he yelled.

  I just stared at him blankly. I refused to let him ruin my day.

  “We can talk later,” I told him wrenching my arm from his hand and deftly went around him and out the door, while he screamed for me to come back.

  I was on Stella and had my helmet on in record time. Kale and Liam quickly followed.

  “Simon?”

  “On his way,” Kale said. I nodded then hit the throttle leaving at the stop sign. Thayne passed me. I waved then took off towards the shop.

  Once I had my bike parked and my helmet off, Liam began his inquisition.

  “So where were you?”

  “Why so you can call and tell my warden?”

  “Hey, that’s not fair, we were all worried about you.”

  “Sorry,” I muttered. “I was at Thayne’s.” Just saying his name made me smile.

  “Oh shit,” he said, “what did you and Thayne do?”

  I blushed and looked away. “Nothing.”

  “Did he hurt you?”

  I looked at him like he had lost his damn mind. “No, he would never hurt me.”

  “Cas is going to kill him.”

  “It’s none of Cas’s fucking business what I do with my boyfriend,” I yelled.

  “Your boyfriend?” Kale asked.

  I nodded then smiled again, “Yep,” then took off humming.

  Liam caught up with me and gave me a strange look, “You’re happy.”

  I smiled at him and nodded, “Yep.”

  “Well fuck me, you need to get laid more often,” he said. “You look good happy.”

  “Shut up Li,” I told him pushing his shoulder and walking in the door, straight into Matt’s back—well I was happy.

  “Matt,” I said coldly then moved away from him towards the shop interior.

  “Scout, wait,” he called but I ignored him and kept going. They could all go to hell.

  “Scout, let me explain,” he said quickly catching up to me, “please.”

  “Explain what? How you’re my father? How you’ve known for the past seven years and didn’t say anything?” I asked and saw him flinch. I stopped and glared at him, “You’ve known all along,” I surmised. “You always knew yet you gave me to him. You watched him ignore me, belittle me, and you did nothing?”

  He let out a breath. “It was complicated—” he began but I quickly cut him off.

  “Complicated?” I screeched. “You left me with him.”

  “I know,” he whispered. “Please let me explain it to you.”

  I shook my head and knuckled away the tears. “Not now, not here.”

  He nodded, “Anywhere, anytime, Seraph,” he whispered, turned and walked away.

  Arms wrapped around my shoulder, “You okay, Bella?”

  I shook my head, “No, not really,” I told him leaning against his chest.

  “Harper Lee, you okay?”

  “Fine,” I told Liam and pulled myself away from Thayne, heading into the staging area.

  Simon showed up at the last moment glaring at me, but I didn’t care. He had lied to me so instead of worrying about him, I focused on Eddie.

  “Today you will fabricate your tanks. You have four hours to have them completed,” with that, he was off, and so were we.

  It was quiet in our stall, just the sound of tools being banged around while Liam found what he needed to get the tank done. I stayed out of the way, just watching him work. He really was amazing at what he did. He quickly had the cuts he wanted made, then took off to the machine shop to make the new parts and fit everything together.

  I grabbed my sketchbook and began working on some designs I had been working out
in my head. Kale was playing gopher today so that left Simon and me with nothing to do but stare at the walls.

  “What were you thinking?” Simon finally whispered loudly breaking the silence.

  “When?”

  “When you left like that,” he barked.

  “I was thinking I had to get away from all you lying mother fuckers before I did something stupid like light all of your hair on fire, or kick you in the balls.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” he growled.

  I shrugged, “You asked what I was thinking and I told you, and I still haven’t given up the idea of kicking you in the balls.”

  “Stop being such a brat,” he barked.

  “I am being a brat?” I murmured to myself. “I shouldn’t be upset that I was lied to, that something that was my right to know was kept from me? That everyone I love decided I didn’t need to know something so basic about myself? I should what? Just shrug it off? I don’t fucking think so.”

  “This is why we didn’t tell you, we knew you wouldn’t understand.”

  “Understand what, Simon?” I yelled. “Understand that the man I thought was my father, isn’t? I fucking get it, okay? What I don’t understand though is why you didn’t just tell me.”

  “Because when we found out, it had just happened, and you weren’t capable of understanding, and we were scared of what would happen.”

  I nodded, “Okay, I understand that. And later? Why not tell me later? Sometime in the past seven years you could have told me.”

  He shrugged and looked away. “After a while it just didn’t seem like a big deal anymore, I mean what difference did it make.”

  “What difference did it make?” I yelled. “It changes everything. Don’t you fucking get it?”

  “What does it change?”

  “You are not my best friend, you are my brother. The man I thought of as my uncle isn’t, he’s my fucking father, and the man I thought was my father, the man who I thought was supposed to love me, he is nothing to me. No fucking wonder I was a burden to him.”

  “Ace didn’t know until after, he found out when we did.”

  “How did everyone find out?”

  “Uhm,” he said looking away, “you had lost a lot of blood, and it turns out you have a rare blood type, and well Dad was a perfect match, and Ace couldn’t give you blood.”

  “Okay,” I said slowly not fully understanding.

  “You don’t get it, do you?”

  I shook my head.

  “With your blood type, it was impossible for Ace to be your dad, and when pushed, the doctor explained that, and my dad, our dad, finally admitted it.”

  “Oh,” I breathed.

  “Yeah,” he said sitting down beside me. “I am sorry we didn’t tell you, after a while we just didn’t think about it anymore.”

  “Did he always know?”

  “He had suspicions, knew it was a possibility, but didn’t know for sure until then.”

  I stared off into space thinking about all of this, everything I thought, believed was an illusion, and they honestly thought this wouldn’t matter.

  “What happened last night with him?”

  “With who?” I asked still lost in my thoughts.

  “Thayne.”

  “We talked, he listens to me, and no one ever listens to me,” I murmured. “He doesn’t second guess me, he lets me be me, and so we talked.”

  He grunted, “That’s it, you talked?”

  I looked Simon straight in the eyes. “You do not get to question my life anymore. I cannot trust you, you hide things from me, lie to me, you have to earn that trust back, Simon, and that hurts. It hurts that I can no longer talk to you. It hurts knowing that you would do this, and I don’t know how long it’s going to take to trust you again, but I think it’s going to be a while. I no longer know who you are, I thought I knew, but my friend, he wouldn’t have done this.”

  “Scout, you’re being melodramatic.”

  I shook my head, “No, no I am not. You know you broke that trust, and you did it so it would be easier on yourself, not for me. I will forgive you eventually, but not now, I can’t. You broke something, all of you did. You broke something deep down inside me with this.”

  He sighed and looked away. “I’m sorry you were hurt with this. I never meant for you to get hurt,” he whispered then got up and walked away.

  I curled up on the floor and cried, strong arms wrapped around me and let me cry.

  Chapter 35

  Finally, we were done at the shop and able to leave. I headed out the doors and towards Stella where Matt was standing. I sighed, of course once wasn’t enough today, they all had to fix the mess they created in one day.

  Thayne linked his hand with mine, gave a reassuring squeeze, and then let me lead him over to where Matt waited.

  “Seraph,” he said in way of greeting.

  “Matt.”

  “Can we talk now?”

  I looked up at the sky, “One day, can I just have one day to be happy?” I asked the clouds and as expected got no response. “Fine,” I told him, “let’s go across the street.”

  I started walking towards the diner but quickly jerked to a stop when Thayne didn’t follow. I looked back at him, curious.

  “Do you want me to come?” he asked quietly.

  I nodded. “Yes,” I said simply.

  “Okay, I need to call Nik, then I’ll be over.”

  “K,” I said walking back to him and kissing him, “see you soon.”

  I let go of his hand and led the way to the diner. When we got there Matt reached around me opening and holding the door for me. I quickly found a booth and sat down with Matt sitting across from me.

  “He makes you happy,” Matt said and I nodded. “Good, I am glad to see you happy.”

  The waitress came by and we both ordered a coffee. I waited for her to drop them off before starting.

  I watched him fidget for a few minutes before finally asking the question I couldn’t stop thinking about, “Did you not want me?”

  “Oh Seraph,” he whispered, “it was never that. I wondered daily, if you were mine, and I wanted you with me.”

  “They why not find out?”

  “I didn’t want to make everyone’s lives harder. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  “Hurt me?”

  “I kept you close for as long as I could, but in the end if I would’ve told anyone about me and Kim, it would have ended up hurting you. I couldn’t stand the idea of that. You were so close to Cas and I couldn’t let that be taken from you. So instead I sat back and watched, made sure you were safe, taken care of.”

  I thought about that for a minute. “He wouldn’t have let me see Cas, he would have just handed me over and been done. You did this so I would have both of them, and you.”

  “Yeah,” he sighed, “you loved them both, even as a baby you were so attached to them both, and I didn’t want to be the cause for you to lose them, so I stayed as close as I could. I protected you and Cas as well as I could.”

  I nodded “Yeah I remember, you would show up and take us out of the house when he was really drunk.”

  “I was trying to protect all three of you because Simon and Cas were just as devoted to you as you were to them, and I didn’t want to ruin Cas’s memories of Kim, taint them.”

  “What happened with you and my mom?”

  “We were friends, all of us were, and then your dad started drinking. He wasn’t nice to her, so she came to our place a lot bringing Cas with her. Things happened, things I am not proud of, and we made a mistake. I loved my wife, I really did, but I loved Kim too in a way,” he whispered.

  “Oh.”

  “We were going to tell Sarah and Ace. Then Sarah got pregnant and I couldn’t hurt her like that, so we kept quiet and ended things. One night things got out of hand, we were at your parents’ house, Ace was drinking and passed out, Sarah left early because she was pregnant and tired. Your mom and I were talking and things jus
t went from there, then she found out she was pregnant, and didn’t know who the dad was. We were going to wait and see, then well after she died I wasn’t going to tell him after he had just lost his wife. Sarah and I brought you home and took care of you. I told her, and she was so angry with me, but she loved you, and agreed with me to talk to Ace about adopting you.”

  “You were going to adopt me?”

  “Adopt you or guardianship, whatever Ace was willing to do, but we both decided not to tell him. He was in a bad place; he had just lost his wife we didn’t want to add more. Before we could talk to him Sarah was in the accident, and well, I lost my wife. You and Simon were so little, he was barely a year old and you were so tiny. I did the best I could. My mom came to live with me and help take care of you, all of you, and Sarah died hating me. That has to be the worst part of this, that I hurt her so badly. Then life went on, and I never told anyone because I didn’t want to ruin the way things were. I didn’t want to cause any more pain to those I loved.”

  I nodded, “I understand that, but why not tell me when I was older?”

  He sighed. “I wanted to, God I wanted to especially after we knew for sure, but you weren’t in a place to hear it. So we decided to wait to tell you. Saul and I wanted to tell you so many times.”

  “They why didn’t you?”

  “We were told that it wasn’t the time, that the doctors didn’t want you upset, that you were on new meds, so many different things. We didn’t want to hurt you. We didn’t want to cause more problems so we waited. Looking back, we shouldn’t have, but at the time we thought we were doing the right thing.”

  I looked across the street and saw Thayne standing in the parking lot yelling at Cas. “Fuck me,” I whispered.

  Matt looked over just as the first punch was thrown and I started banging my head against the table. This morning life was great, it was perfect, now my brother and boyfriend were beating the crap out of each other.

  ***

  I sat in the uncomfortable chairs waiting for the police to release Cas and Thayne. I didn’t know what the hell happened to cause the fight, I just knew that they were both arrested. The doors whooshed open and I looked up finding Simon and the girl my brother planned to marry standing there.

  “Hear anything?”

  “They are being booked, then they have to see a judge, then we can pay bail and go home.”