How Beauty Loved the Beast

by Jax Garren

  His eyes turned flat. “Get out of the door.”

  “Make me. I’m not letting you leave.” Because something about that crushed her. She’d screwed up, pushed too hard too fast, and she couldn’t shake the fear that his departure would mess them up for good.

  With a determined frown, he lowered his head. She had faith that even mad he wouldn’t hurt her, and that was the advantage she needed.

  He crossed the elevator in two strides. She held her ground. He picked her up by the waist to move her. Instead of struggling, she wrapped her arms around his chest in a bear hug.

  He yanked his hands off her like she was on fire. “Let go.”

  She cinched her legs around his knees. “If you leave this building, you’re taking me with you.”

  “You’re in your underwear,” he yelled.

  She yelled right back. “You think I care if people see my ass? Remember where we met?”

  “Jolie, dammit! Let go!”

  “Don’t. Leave. Me.” God, she sounded anguished. She didn’t mean to sound that broken, and yet she sniffed each breath, practically crying. “Call my bluff. Ride the elevator down. You will be the center of attention everywhere you go.”

  “That’ll get me arrested.”

  “Don’t care right now. Don’t leave.” She’d forgotten about him getting arrested. If he went down, she’d ride with him. Spend the fifty-five floors trying to get him back upstairs. But once they made the foyer, she’d have to let him go for his own safety.

  He couldn’t get to the foyer. Despair clawed at her throat. “Don’t leave, Hauk. Please, baby, don’t leave me. This is my fault. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault!” His voice boomed over the inane love song on the stereo, filling her space with his anger.

  The elevator dinged and tried to shut, slamming into their shoulders before popping back open. “Jolie.” His voice was dangerously soft. “Let me go.”

  She burrowed closer. “No.”

  The next moment strung out too long with its indecision and anger. The elevator dinged again. His body rigid with tension, Hauk drew in a shaky breath.

  And stepped back into her home.

  The doors closed behind him. She relaxed just a little. “Thank you.”

  His chest rose and fell heavily, and he kept his hands out to his sides, careful not to touch her. “What are we going to do now? ‘Talk about it’ is not the answer to that question. Not right now. Maybe not ever.”

  She put her feet on the ground and leaned away from him on wobbly knees. “I hadn’t gotten that far.”

  His voice softened. “Oh, damn, sweetheart. You are crying.”

  He said it like he’d already guessed. She quickly dashed the tears away and forced her voice to remain steady. “I’m fine. You’re here. I’m fine.” She tugged him toward the hallway. “Come away from the elevators.”

  * * *

  He didn’t budge. He still didn’t trust himself to move. “How badly did I scare you?”

  “You didn’t scare me.” Her voice was scoffing, but she wouldn’t look at him, just kept trying to tow him away from the exit.

  A six-foot-seven man going crazy on her? He probably terrified the shit out of her, and that was not okay. “Don’t lie to me. I lost my head.”

  She spun back to him with an incredulous laugh. “Honey, you’re a berserker. I’ve seen you lose your head, and that wasn’t it.” She tugged again, so stubborn. “Now, come to bed.”

  It only took a moment to disengage himself from her grip.

  She cocked her head in confusion at the empty space in her hand as he backed up.

  “I’m not going to bed with you. I don’t want to sleep in the same bed if we didn’t make love. I can’t do that right now. I want you too much.”

  “Okay, well fine, let’s—”

  She kept coming at him, pursuing him relentlessly. Her luscious body was barely covered in scraps of satin and her skin flushed with emotion. He took another step back because his twitchy instincts still told him to lay her on the floor.

  “Stop, Jolie. You need to stop.”

  Something in his tone must’ve finally registered with her, because she quit chasing him.

  “I can’t do this.” He finally caught her eyes. She looked utterly bewildered, and he couldn’t blame her. “I just can’t strip down and...” He tried to stay calm, but despite his best intentions his voice rose with each word. “It’s not going to happen. Not tonight. Not any time soon. I’m not standing in front of you without my skin.”

  She hissed in a breath and leaned away from him.

  He realized what he’d said. “Clothes. Without my clothes.”

  Here was where she finally realized he was out of his fucking mind and sent him home. She was going to stand there, a sensual goddess in lingerie, while he still had the taste of her on his tongue, and that was the way it ended. “I’ll go.”

  She went to the couch and picked up his duffel. He needed to call the elevator back.

  But instead of coming to him, she went to the hallway. “I know you said we weren’t going to talk about it, but that’s bullshit. We both need a few minutes to calm down, so let’s get ready for bed. Then we can talk. Dumping your girlfriend over something she said in haste when she was upset is not okay.”

  She headed down the hall with his bag.

  “Girlfriend?” he asked, confusion cutting through the other crap in his head.

  She swung back around, bag clenched in her fingers like she might throw it at him. “Yeah. Am I not anymore?”

  Once again he was thrown off-balance. “We hadn’t established that to begin with.”

  She crossed her arms, unintentionally pushing those distracting breasts up over the top of her bra cups. “I thought you were all into monogamy. That’s what you implied anyway, back when I was dating Paul, who wasn’t. Do you not want me as your girlfriend?”

  Was she kidding? Despite his confusion, a flutter of hope warmed him. “Be my girlfriend?”

  “Yes. Now that that’s officially established, don’t walk out on me all pissed without giving us a chance to work it out.” She stalked into her bedroom.

  He followed her. His girlfriend. That meant he was her boyfriend. The way she treated him in the Underlight was real. But didn’t that imply they had a future? Or were at least considering one? It did to him. Maybe to her it was only a sign of exclusivity.

  Exclusivity was good, though. His and only his. Very good indeed.

  His duffle was on her bed. She came out of the bathroom carrying a toothbrush. When she saw him, her shoulders relaxed significantly, and she pointed backwards. “Your toothbrush is still there.”

  The musculature of her four-pack abdominals twisted with the motion, highlighting her slender waist. All that bare skin kept his nethers standing for roll call. “Can you put pants on? A shirt? I can’t think straight with you that naked.”

  Frowning, she glanced down at herself, like she’d forgotten she had no clothes on. “Oh. Sure.” She disappeared back into the bathroom.

  He used to be that casual about nudity. Well, his own, anyway. Naked women had always done things to his brain, like turn it off. That hadn’t changed.

  He sat on the bed and put his head in his hands, counting breaths until he had them somewhat even and under control. After a minute he could feel her presence back in the room. He glanced up to find her observing him from the doorway with a frown. Thankfully she’d put on sweatpants and a T-shirt.

  Not that that made her any less desirable, but it helped his brain focus on something other than animal needs.

  “I’m going to go pick up the kitchen.”

  He stood up to help.

  “Sit. It’s ten minutes of space. Change if you want to. I’d like that, but it’s up to you.” She shut the door as she left. A firm click, and he was alone. After a moment the music from the living room cut off, leaving him in silence.

  He hefted himself up and headed for her balcony. There,
with the rough air and muffled silence, the troubles of the world felt far away, and the distance to the horizon reminded him how damn small he was in the grand scheme of things. A rare feeling when he towered over most crowds. He used to get a kick out of standing above everyone. Now the attention it attracted made his face that much harder to hide.

  But here at Jolie’s, he could be above it all and still alone.

  A cold wind tugged at his clothes as he gripped the railing. Her bedroom overlooked a different direction than the downtown views of the living room, presenting a more idyllic scene of the lake that wound its way through town from the west Austin hills.

  The first time Hauk had visited her condo, he’d been disdainful of the decadence of it. Maybe even intimidated. As an enlisted soldier from a blue-collar family, this was not the kind of place he ever thought he’d hang out. Jolie was not the kind of girl he ever thought he’d date. He’d always had a healthy opinion of his abilities as a soldier and as a decent human being. But a girl like her and a guy like him? That just didn’t happen.

  Calmer now, he could admit a big part of his problem was that if he made a checklist of everything he could possibly want in a woman, she’d fulfill every one. He tapped his metal leg against the metal of the railing. Being so incomplete in front of that perfection was hard.

  But when she smiled with that boldness in her eyes focused entirely on him, he didn’t feel incomplete. He felt invincible.

  He turned from the view and back to her bedroom with its tempting four-poster, sparse but elegant furniture and door to a bathroom that was bigger than his quarters at the Underlight.

  His girlfriend’s bathroom. Her choice of words.

  He headed to the sink. In the holder next to hers was the toothbrush she’d given him after he’d spent the night passed out from a berserker rage. Back then his toothbrush had made three in the holder—hers, his, and Paul’s. But now there were only two.

  He checked his watch. Jolie would be back soon. He decided to change his clothes.

  * * *

  Jolie knocked on her own door, her stomach fluttering with nerves. She had her speech all planned out, what she needed to say to convince him to stay the night. She was willing to give a little if he was. Hopefully the ten minutes she’d spent righting the kitchen and tracking down every piece of tossed clothing had been enough time for him to clear his head, too.

  Each piece of wardrobe had sent a jolt of regret through her. Some day she would learn that balls-to-the-wall wasn’t the best way to tackle every problem.

  “Come in,” Hauk said, his voice garbled, and she bulled her way into the room.

  She stopped when she found him in flannel pants, brushing his teeth. He hadn’t changed out of his button-down, but that was probably because he intended to sleep in the undershirt beneath it.

  At least, that was what she hoped. He wasn’t hopping on his motorcycle in cotton PJ bottoms, that was for sure.

  He winked and went back into the bathroom. The sink ran, and she wondered what parallel dimension she’d entered, where Hauk was making himself at home in her bedroom.

  It was a good parallel dimension, but not what she’d expected.

  She crossed into her bathroom and contemplated the second sink. He stood up straight, smiled at her. She changed her plan. “Hold my hair while I wash my face?”

  The clip she used most nights was right there on the counter between them. He didn’t pay it any mind, just said, “Sure,” as he came up behind her. “What do I do?” His fingers gently combed through her hair as he gathered it at her nape. “Like this?”

  Mouth suddenly dry, she swallowed. “Yeah. That’ll work.” She leaned down and splashed water on her face as he patiently kept her hair from the stream.

  “I didn’t mean to be an asshole, Jolie. I’m sorry.”

  She turned to him, face dripping and mascara likely running down her temple.

  He used his hold on her hair to gently turn her back. “Wash your face. I’m saying this now while you can’t protest.”

  She ought to tell him he didn’t need to apologize but didn’t think he’d like that. So she grabbed the soap and started foaming away her makeup with more vigor than needed.

  The composure in his voice was layered over the gruffness of raw emotion. It reminded her how deep his waters ran under that placid surface. Deep and rocky. “I thought I was at peace with what happened. The scarring, I mean. But I guess I’m not. I hate putting you through this. I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t interested in dealing.” With his free hand he stroked her back. “But I hope you are.”

  She hastily splashed handfuls of water against her and popped up with water still dripping down her chin and clinging to her lashes. “I’m interested. I want to.”

  Amusement lightened the weight of his words as he handed her a towel.

  “I have black all under my eyes, don’t I?”

  He nodded.

  Embarrassed, she grabbed eye makeup remover and finished the job. He watched her with the sort of laid-back ease she loved about him. So little fazed Hauk; it had been one of the hardest things about tonight, knowing she’d caused him to lose his cool. She wanted to tear down his inhibitions, not his peace of mind.

  Eyes no longer ringed with black, she hopped up to sit on the counter so she could tug him between her knees.

  He touched the hair at her temple and ran his fingers down a strand. “I’d like to stay tonight,” he said. “No matter what we do or don’t do. I want you, don’t get me wrong, but being with you is better than not, no matter what.”

  She dropped her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around his midsection. God, he was so perfect. His big hands slid down her back, and he held her, no demands, no expectations, just contact. As if he were the one comforting her after what had happened.

  He was always like that, taking care of everybody else, throwing himself in the path of bullets and bad mojo to protect people. Despite his selflessness, and how selfish and pampered-girl useless she could be sometimes, he still wanted her for more than her looks and in no way for her money. Hauk was the most heroic and fascinating person she’d ever met, and he liked her for her. It was the best feeling in the world.

  His heart beat steadily under her cheek. They were going to be okay. She took a deep breath. “I’m willing to negotiate my stance.”

  “Your stance?”

  She tipped her head up to face him. “On sex. My demands. I’ve decided to see reason and initiate peace talks.”

  He shook his head as he looked away. “Sweetheart, that’s nice, but you were perfectly reasonable.”

  “I don’t care about reasonable.” She wrapped a leg around his good thigh. “I want you unreasonably bad.”

  Chapter Ten

  Jolie held her breath, waiting for his response. She didn’t have to wait long.

  With a harsh exhale he dug fingers into the hair at her temple and drew her mouth to his in a rough kiss. All the calm he’d been exhibiting vanished as his tongue searched her, and she responded just as hungrily, clenching the fabric of his shirt to pull him closer.

  He pulled back just enough to whisper, “What do you want from me, babe? I’ll do my best, I swear.”

  Their breath comingled in the hot space between them. Thinking became a challenge. But there was something important she wanted. She had to ask. “I want to face you. Is that—was that one...”

  “No, that’s good. We can do that. I’d like that. I really would.”

  She poked his shoulder. “No covering my eyes.”

  His jaw opened and closed wordlessly as his eyes said, “Busted.”

  She softened her expression. “I didn’t mind last time. But for this, I want to see you.” She ducked her head. “It means something to me.”

  “I promise. Something else?”

  This was the big one. The make-or-break-it requirement. She considered the clothing wrapped around her fingers. A barrier wasn’t what she wanted, not in the long ter
m. She wanted his skin to touch and kiss. To explore and claim. She wanted total freedom with him.

  Flattening her hands against his shirt, she studied his eyes, worried that what she needed most from him was too much to ask. “Promise me that one day these will be gone. That we’ll keep trying until we can do this. I don’t care if it takes time. That’s fine. But one day. It’ll be better for both of us.”

  He stood up straighter, pulling away. If he said no, it was going to hurt, and she’d have to decide what to do.

  Tension stiffened her shoulders. “Please, Hauk.”

  He caressed her face and tucked one hand around her jaw. “Jolie.” With his other hand he took the silver Thor’s hammer he wore around his neck, the symbol of his faith. He stared at the floor as he thought over his words then looked her in the eye. “I swear on Mjolnir that one day I will come to you naked. What happens then is up to you.”

  It was the most heartfelt promise she’d ever seen him make, and she deeply appreciated it. But seriousness made her uncomfortable, and she couldn’t help breaking the mood with a joke. “What happens then is I’m going to fuck the hell out of you. You’ll be sore for days.” Crude but honest, that she could do.

  He laughed, untroubled by her levity. “I’m in favor of that.” Scooping her up off the counter, he turned them toward the bed.

  “I have one more thing. But you can keep moving.”

  He lifted an eyebrow.

  She wiggled the box of condoms from her pocket and slapped it on his chest. “Consider this an incentive.”

  His chuckling response was more abashed than disappointed. “Quality incentive, indeed.” He placed her gently on the bed and moved the box to the bedside table.

  She didn’t want him to be offended. “Hey, my sister got pregnant at eighteen. It changed her life and, unfortunately, her personality. She and I were friends before it happened. You have your safety blankets, I have mine.”

  He lay down beside her, listening attentively.

  “That I’m offering at all makes you a Big Deal. You do get that, right?”