Healing His Heart

by Carol Rose

"I am?"

  His voice was a velvety purr that stirred the hair by her ear. Julia refused to acknowledge his insinuation.

  "Yes. You've done a lot in just a few days," she persevered.

  Caleb turned to look at the soaring vee of timber that would create a cathedral ceiling over the living area. "Yep," he drawled, "it's coming along."

  He leaned back against the truck, his arms crossed over his chest. "I figured once we started on the actual construction, curiosity would overcome your chicken-heartedness."

  "What?" Julia whipped around to stare at him.

  "You heard me."

  "You think I'm scared to come here and see-"

  "To see me," Caleb completed her sentence with equanimity.

  "You're insane and—unbelievably conceited!” Julia sputtered, wondering what had given her away.

  “I don’t think so. It was pretty obvious I’m the last person you wanted to run into.” He pushed back his cap and smiled down at her with confidence.

  “Wanting to avoid you doesn’t necessarily mean I’m afraid of you,” Julia countered.

  The grain of truth in his accusation didn’t help. She wasn’t actually scared of Caleb, just reasonably cautious. What intelligent woman wouldn’t run from a sexy man who watched her with a predator’s soulless eyes?

  “Well, maybe not scared of me,” Caleb amended, “more like scared of the attraction between us.”

  “If you think,” she gasped, indignant “that you can excuse your behavior by inferring that I sought your attention, you can-“

  Caleb laughed out loud. “No, no, petunia. I never give excuses for my behavior. But you’re lying to yourself if you deny the chemistry.”

  “I hate that word. And even if there was some kind of attraction between us, I certainly wouldn’t let it govern my behavior.”

  “Good.” Caleb smiled again, a satisfied gleam in his blue eyes. “Then how about going to a party with me this Friday?”

  *

  She was nuts, Julia decided, staring into the mirror in exasperation. It was easy to recognize emotional masochism from her psychiatry rotation. Only an idiot agreed to go out with a man who qualified as a menace to her sanity.

  After taking Caleb up on his dare date, she'd fled without asking the pertinent questions. Consequently, she had no idea where he would be taking her. Drat the man!

  He had the knack of maddening her in less than five minutes of conversation. She prided herself on her equanimity, which he must have recognized because it delighted him to throw her off balance. As if his physical presence wasn't disturbing enough, he had to take it into his head to play sexual games with her. She liked games as well as the next person, but intuition told her he didn't play for keeps.

  She was just stepping into her heels when the doorbell rang a few minutes later. Taking a deep breath, Julia scooped up her purse and headed for the door. She might as well get the evening over with.

  "Good evening, Julia." Caleb stood outside her door in an immaculate chambray shirt and jeans that had been pressed to a knife edge. He'd had his hair trimmed and a gold watch gleamed on his wrist. Julia swallowed. Caleb at work, sweating and dirty, was a vision of rugged power. Unfortunately, dressing him up nicely didn't change that impression too much.

  He raised an eyebrow. "Are you ready?"

  "Yes," she said resignedly. ''I'm ready."

  She locked the door and followed him to the truck. Sitting next to him minutes later as they drove out of the parking lot, Julia smoothed a nervous hand down her skirt. Nerve endings she hadn't realized she possessed were on full alert. Her lungs seemed suddenly under the impression that she was running a marathon.

  Every time she caught his eye, Caleb's wicked grin flashed. He sat behind the wheel, completely relaxed while wreaking havoc on her senses. He looked too good and smelled better, and she didn't even want to think about how he'd felt beneath her hands.

  It wasn't until they exited the highway in north Dallas a half an hour later that Julia began to wonder exactly where they were going. After a few minutes, Caleb turned on to a smaller street and slowed the truck to the curb. Both sides of the street were lined with cars extending in either direction from a long, low house which was brilliant with light sparkling from huge windows. The twang of country music filtered across the smooth green lawn.

  Julia tore her eyes from the house to flash a glance at Caleb. Okay. So they weren't going to a smoky bar.

  "Who's house is this?" Julia asked with studied carelessness as Caleb opened his door.

  "My parents," Caleb answered with an enigmatic smile.

  *

  Caleb leaned an elbow against the bar, waiting his turn with the bartender his mother had hired to lubricate tonight's shindig. The evening was everything he'd avoided like the plague in the last few years. He could have refused to come, but his mother didn't ask much of him.

  The lush green backyard was gussied up for the evening's festivities with lights strung from every tree. Tables and chairs clustered in groups on the deck and around the sparkling pool. Knots of guests stood, talking animatedly. Music blared from the country western band situated on the far side of the pool. It was all so familiar.

  The only thing different was Julia.

  She'd looked so sweetly nervous when he'd picked her up. The soft fabric of her dress clung subtly to her curves. He'd had to fight the urge to back her into her apartment and skip the party altogether. That, of course, wouldn't have suited his purpose in inviting her here in the first place.

  If he and Julia were to act on the undeniable sexual energy between them, she had to know the score. Love 'em and leave 'em worked best for him, but the sense of honor that Caleb still possessed in some measure demanded that the woman realize his limitations.

  Across the lawn, he could see his mother steering Julia through the crowd, making introductions.

  Caleb collected the drinks from the bartender and wove his way through the crowd. Familiar faces surrounded him. He answered those who hailed him with a smile. He felt it happening already--the stiffening of his shoulders, the tightness in his smile. Dammit, he'd finally come to peace with himself. He didn't need questions about why he'd given up something he'd worked so hard for.

  The crowd parted as he neared the pool, and before him appeared a tableau that did nothing to ease the tension in his muscles. A smooth gentleman in white trousers and a golf shirt sat at a table conversing with Julia and his mother.

  Countdown minus two seconds. Any minute now and Julia would know the truth about him.

  Caleb stood a moment, holding the glasses in his hands, simply watching it unfold. He saw Julia's hesitant smile as she greeted his father. Within seconds, he saw her eyes widen. She turned, searching the crowd. When her gaze settled on Caleb, her blue eyes were dark with incredulity.

  Walking forward, Caleb moved around the table to place Julia's drink in front of her.

  His father's cultured voice continued on. "Why, yes, my dear. I'm surprised Caleb hasn't mentioned his background. It's quite a family tradition. My father taught at Baylor."

  Caleb's gaze met his mother's. She shrugged expressively in response and turned back to Julia. "So tell us all about your work. Caleb says you're in family practice. With all the specialists around, it's nice to have a primary care physician who's on the patient's side."

  "It's not as if specialists are at war with patients, dear," Charles Hayden inserted, his expression pained.

  Caleb held the sweating glass of imported beer in his hand and reflected on the mixed blessing of having a family. His peripheral vision took in Julia, still sitting with a bemused look on her face. Poor baby.

  Caleb placed a drink in front of his father. "Sorry I took so long, but the line at the bar was incredible. Thirsty crowd tonight." He settled himself into the chair across from Julia.

  "No problem, my boy," Charles Hayden reached for the glass. "We've just been getting acquainted with Julia. I couldn't believe that you never mentioned you
r training to her, Caleb," his father reproved. "You've only been on sabbatical for two years. It couldn't have slipped your mind."

  "I am not 'on sabbatical,' Dad," Caleb corrected him gently. "And, no, my previous work hasn't slipped my mind. It just didn't seem important."

  Caleb felt Julia's eyes on his face and met them squarely. There was smoldering anger in her expression. He knew if they were alone, he'd be feeling the sting of her tongue-lashing. Oddly enough, the thought excited him. Maybe this was why he'd really brought her tonight. Maybe he wanted to force a confrontation, to rouse her ire. God knew he thought often enough of rousing her in every other way.

  The crowd around them shifted as a long-time associate of his father's approached.

  "Charles, I want to introduce someone to you." Charles Hayden's colleague brought a slender, dark haired man to the table as Caleb's father rose. "This is Dr. Roland Demarest, head of surgery at St. Paul's. Roland, this is Dr. Hayden."

  "Nice to meet you at last, Dr. Hayden," the younger man shook Charles' hand with just the right amount of respect.

  Caleb reached for his drink, hiding a smile. One thing he didn't miss about medicine was the politics.

  "Oh, how rude of me," Charles remarked. "Let me introduce my companions to you, Dr. Demarest."

  His gesture toward the table turned Demarest toward them. “This is my wife, Cecilia, and this is my son," Charles went on with the introductions, "Dr. Caleb Hayden."

  "Oh, yes." Roland turned to shake hands. "I remember you. You did some of your residency at St. Paul's, didn't you?"

  "For a few months," Caleb confirmed, aware of the speculation in the other man's eyes.

  "You're not practicing currently, are you?" Roland asked.

  "No, I'm working in log construction these days," Caleb responded, glad he no longer had to tolerate men like Demarest in order to further his career. ''I'm building Julia's house."

  The other man's brows lifted in surprise. "Of course," he said. "A log cabin, you say?"

  "Yes." Julia stared at the drink in her hands. "You could call it that."

  "Yes, well," Roland mused, "I suppose not everyone's cut out for the challenge of medicine. It takes quite a lot of stamina and strong-mindedness."

  Caleb heard his mother gasp at the insult.

  "No," Caleb agreed. "Not everyone's cut out for medicine. Just those who don't mind playing God."

  *

  Caleb carefully eased the pickup to a stop in front of Julia's apartment. He'd had the sensation of carrying dangerous cargo on the long silent ride from Dallas. The lady sitting on the far side of the seat was no longer feeling surprised at the news of his former life. She was furious.

  "Would you please come in for a moment?" Julia asked now, her voice pleasant enough as she opened the door.

  "Sure." Caleb followed her up the sidewalk. He knew without a doubt that this wasn't the invitation he'd hoped for.

  The key clicked in the lock. Caleb felt the chill of Julia's glance as she looked at him over her shoulder. He ambled across the threshold, pulling the door shut. She was madder than a bee-stung bobcat and he wanted her so bad his whole body ached. It didn't make any sense, but very little in life did.

  She tossed her purse and keys onto a chair and turned to face him. "I can just imagine how you laughed. It must have amused you to set me up like this. Was that the purpose of this whole farcical date?" she asked contemptuously. "You wanted to liven up the evening?"

  Caleb frowned. "Don't be an idiot."

  "I didn't even have a clue." Julia took a deep breath. "They must have thought I was a fool."

  "Who?"

  "Your parents, of course," she snapped.

  "No," Caleb responded with dark humor as he leaned back against the door. "They would say that I'm the fool."

  "This is what the whole evening was about, isn't it? A big practical joke?" She stood in front of him, her blue eyes fairly sparking with rage, her breasts rising and falling in agitation.

  "Look, petunia, I'm not sure what crime it is that I'm supposed to have committed."

  Incensed, Julia stalked over to him, her pointed finger stabbing his chest. "You have deliberately kept your profession from me--"

  "I am a construction foreman," Caleb's words held a definite edge even as her nearness provoked a stiffening in his loins.

  "--and you made sure that I discovered my ignorance in the most public way possible, in front of people who might potentially affect my career!"

  "That's the worst, isn't it, doctor?" Anger snatched away the guilt that was forming in his chest. "If I could have made a fool of you in a way that furthered your career, you wouldn't have minded at all."

  Dammit, they couldn't even fight without her work coming into it. He wanted to reach out and kiss her speechless. Talking didn't seem to get them anywhere.

  "For some reason you wanted to set me up to keep me off balance, to make me look like an ignoramus for some twisted reason. Is this what you do for amusement?" she asked with heat.

  "I can think off better ways to amuse us both," he said.

  "I don't know why you left medicine, or what it is that makes you need to control everything around you," she flung at him. "Maybe you had a drug problem, maybe the pressure was just too much for you. But for whatever reason, you've decided to take your frustrations out on me and I won't tolerate it!"

  He should have felt defensive, insulted by her accusations. But she was right. Maybe she had reason to consider him two notches below a snake. At this point, he didn't care. All he knew was a burning desire to wrap himself around her and drive hard into her heated core. He wanted to rip away the barriers. He wanted her skin to skin, no thought, only sensation.

  A more civilized man might not feel lust for a raging woman, but Caleb had long ago given up on civility. The spark of Julia's anger was real and passionate. Her unchecked emotional response made him feel alive once more.

  He wanted to keep the light so fiercely shining in her eyes. Caleb knew as he reached for her that he didn't have the right. She'd told him in a million ways that she didn't want this. Only at this moment, she seemed to need it almost as badly as he did.

  Julia's eyes widened as his hands slid over the warmth of her bare arms. He felt her draw in her breath to protest. The air hummed around them, the atmosphere thick with possibilities, vibrant with a power he didn't even try to identify. Then his lips touched hers and something in Caleb unleashed.

  Her mouth was immobile beneath his for seconds before he felt her open to the driving stroke of his tongue. Suddenly, her arms slipped around his neck and she strained up to meet him, sifting her fingers into the thick hair at his nape as she leaned against his chest. Heat blossomed in the texture of her kiss. Caleb pulled her tighter, molding her along his length. He drank in the sweetness of her mouth.

  Fire sprang up at all contact points and spread. She was fragile beneath his hands, softer than he remembered, and smelling of some fragrance that only God could create. Caleb held her hips in the cradle of his broad stance, pulling her against the ridge of his masculinity.

  Julia tilted her head back to allow access to his seeking mouth. Her skin was warm beneath his lips, smooth and sweet. He shook with the fierce need to consume her, to bury himself in her warmth and wrap himself in Julia. Night after night, he'd dreamed of her, and the worst of those dreams were never like this. Caleb's lips brushed a path along the delicate skin of her neck as she clung to him.

  There were ten million reasons why he couldn't have a relationship with this woman. The sanest, most considerate course of action would take him straight out the door and as far from Julia as possible. Only he wasn't sane. He was consumed by his bone-deep desire for hot, raw, real sex with no one but this woman. She was molten in his arms, alight with passion, ready and willing. An earthquake couldn't have gotten him out that door.

  "I want to touch you." Her words were muffled through passion-kissed lips.

  Caleb lifted his head and stared down
into her face.

  Her skin held a flush. An expression he couldn't identify transformed her-Julia without caution, lost in the moment.

  He waited, tensed, while her fingers undid his buttons. There was the slightest hint of shyness in the brief glances she sent him as if she felt she were asking more than he might want to give. He felt his body rigid, pulsating with the desire to lose himself in her wet depths.

  Standing very still, he watched as she slipped loose one shirt button at a time. Shyly, she tugged his shirt free of his waistband and pulled it down each arm.

  How many men had she undressed? He saw an innocence in her face, a glimmer of wonder, that shook him to his bones.

  Her shimmering blue gaze skated over his bare chest and she drew a jagged breath.

  Softly, she touched him, at first just grazing the tanned skin of his belly with her fingertips. Caleb sucked in air. She stroked him with infinite interest and attention, that same near-wonder in her face as if she could hardly imagine more pleasure than the feel of his body beneath her hands.

  They stood frozen in the middle of the nondescript living room of her apartment, completely unaware of anything beyond the sensation that gripped them. Her fingers traced over him lightly, skimming up the middle of his chest.

  She seemed lost in touch, her face reflecting her pleasure with a clarity that was achingly vulnerable. She made him weak with only the slightest brush of those delicate but capable hands over his bare skin. Hands that healed--only now their sweet touch was building something more than distress in Caleb.

  He felt ready to explode, holding himself in check with effort. With the stroke of her hands and the evocative sensuality of her body, she intensified his ache for union. But her expressive face heated some other part of him that he couldn't identify. He heard the raggedness of his own breathing and found himself dismissing the idea that sex with this woman could ever be casual.

  Julia's fingers traced his collarbones, stroking his skin. Her hands swept slowly over his chest, brushing the scattering of hair. She traced each muscle, trailing down to his waistband and up his sides. Her hands crept around to glide up the planes of his back. She stood very close to him as she followed the indentation of his spine. When she placed a kiss on his shoulder, Caleb shuddered. He drew a deep breath for control. An unknown power was raging through him. The woman before him was too real. He felt the whisper of her breath warm against his skin.