by Janice Lynn
Maybe. Maybe not.
She just didn’t know.
What she did know was that Levi’s rejection left her feeling way too much like Simon had on numerous occasions. Left her feeling raw and achy on the inside. Left her resolved to make sure that barrier always stayed up around her heart.
Especially where Dr. Levi Fielding was concerned.
CHAPTER FOUR
ON MONDAY morning, Levi spotted the petite blonde stepping out of room 217. The very beautiful petite blonde he’d looked for at the park Sunday morning and again this morning to no avail when he’d gone for his run. Despite how he’d lingered much longer than his usual run time, he hadn’t bumped into Madison either morning.
She wore bright pink scrubs with cartoon characters on them. Her short blonde hair was fluffed slightly and tapered in at her chin as if the strands wanted to cup her face.
When she glanced up and spotted him watching her, a shade of pink similar to her scrubs spread across her high cheekbones.
Did women who ate men for breakfast blush so readily?
She was too far away to touch, or even to speak to, really, but not so far away that he didn’t recognize the uncertainty in her eyes, that he couldn’t tell she was trying to figure out exactly where their dinner on Saturday had left them.
Pacing himself was one thing, but seeing the uncertainty in her eyes made him think he should have done something besides tell her to call him if she had problems with her ribs or throat. And here he thought he’d deserved a medal for the restraint he’d displayed as he’d scribbled his cell number on the back of a business card. She didn’t look like she wanted to give him a medal. Or even the time of day.
Well, hell. He made his way toward where she stood in the hospital hallway.
Gaze narrowing, her expression changed, became defiant. She lifted her chin and turned away from him as if to send that proverbial “take a hike” message.
“Madison?”
She ignored him, continuing with what she was doing as if she hadn’t heard him behind her.
“Nurse Swanson?” he tried again, his tone harsher than it should have been, but he didn’t like being ignored. What man did?
“Dr. Fielding?” She turned to face him. Her eyes sparkled like big green jewels glittering in sunlight. Her voice sounded breathy, a little like she’d run a sprint.
“Levi,” he corrected, despite the fact he’d just called her Nurse Swanson, reminding himself that they were at work and of his no-touching-Madison-yet policy. Maybe the combination of reminders would cause him to keep his hands off. Because he’d really like to pull her to him and kiss that pert mouth until she melted against him, until that look of annoyance fled her face and was replaced by wanton need.
“How are you feeling?” His gaze raked downward, taking in the fine lines of her body, lingering at her…ribs. “Ribs okay?”
“They’re fine.” Rose stained her cheeks, contradicting so vividly with the woman she’d claimed to be. Was that part of her allure? That contradiction between good girl and bad girl? She glanced away, pulled her look of annoyance back into place. “I was a little sore yesterday, but nothing too bad.”
“I started to call to check on you.” True. He’d picked up the phone a dozen times, but had decided not to push too much too soon.
She shifted her feet. “There wasn’t a need. Thanks, though.”
She took a step back, putting more distance between them.
Apparently he’d royally ticked her off when he’d high-tailed it on Saturday night.
Which meant he needed to do some backpedaling of his own.
“How late are you working?”
“Shift change is at seven.” She gave him an odd look and added, “Same as always.”
Yeah, he’d known that, but obviously wasn’t thinking clearly. “You want to go to dinner?”
“With you?” Her eyes widened, big green gems beckoning to him with the power of an enchantress.
“I’m not asking for anyone else, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He chuckled wryly, ignoring that looking at Madison had him feeling a little crazy. Had him wondering if she was going to say no. Had him wondering what it would feel like to kiss her.
Her mouth bowed, her lips almost pouty. How could he ignore how full and lush they were? How downright kissable? How downright nibble-able? He wanted to sink his teeth in and…
“Okay,” she agreed, her irritation melting away and her smile illuminating her pretty face, making his ribs tighten around his lungs to the point he could barely catch his breath. “Thanks for asking. That would be nice.”
Nice. There was that word again. A word that had guilt dredging up deep in his soul.
Yes, he wanted a more settled relationship with Madison, a committed relationship, but what if that didn’t work out? Then what? He should be upfront and warn her just in case?
If what he’d overheard was true, would she even care if he was more like Jonathan Fielding than he would have ever thought possible? And if she were that woman, then why had he chosen her as the woman he wanted a more serious relationship with?
Because Madison felt different.
Everything about her felt different from any woman he’d ever known.
Maybe he’d heard wrong that day. Maybe she really was the innocent he sometimes thought he caught a glimpse of.
Maybe he should give her the opportunity to come clean, to tell him once and for all what type of person she was.
“Madison?”
Her gaze lifted to his, all soft and expectant, making him hopeful that she’d tell him to go to hell, that he couldn’t have her without giving her his heart first. “I should warn you…” he leaned in closer to her. “…I’m not a nice guy. Not when it comes to women, and particularly not when it comes to you. Think you can handle that?”
Madison stared at Levi, trying to figure out why she felt like he was saying one thing and asking another. Wondering at his hot/cold attitude. Was he trying to scare her off? Or was he truly just warning her not to expect anything of him? Not to think that she was any different from other women?
That was the great thing about being a player. Madison no longer thought she was different from any other woman. Just as he wouldn’t be different from any other man…only he sort of was.
But that was probably just because she wanted him so much physically. Because he was the first guy she’d chosen to try out her new persona.
“I’ve heard that about you.” Even to her ears, her tone was hardly condemning, more of an acceptance of who he was. Did he think his way with women a secret? Hardly. She’d heard tell of the irresistible Dr. Fielding from Karen prior to even starting at Angel Creek.
“Normally, I’d say you shouldn’t believe everything you hear,” he drawled lazily, his to-die-for-hot-fudge-sundae eyes not leaving hers, “but in my case, maybe you should.”
Madison gulped down the baseball wedged in her throat. “Because you’re not nice to women?”
A startled look passed over his face. One that held a hint of darkness that surprised her, but almost as fast as the look appeared it disappeared and his gaze took on one of possession.
“Oh, I’m nice.” His eyes defined nice in a way that made her inner thighs clench. “It’s just that in the past, women have always wanted more than I was prepared to give.”
Which said it all.
What woman could be with Levi and not want more? More of everything him? Was she a fool to think she could really be a player with someone like Levi? Was she a fool to have ever thought she could move to a different town and start over as someone new? Someone who was impervious to having her heart broken? Would she end up just wanting more from Levi, too? Recalling how badly she’d wanted him to kiss her on Saturday night, she admitted she already wanted more from Levi than he was prepared to give.
Which was the absolute last thing he’d want to hear her say.
The absolute last thing a wise woman would do would be to want
more from Levi.
Good thing she’d decided to keep her heart well hidden from the likes of him. She’d planned to just push him out of her life completely, but maybe she’d just enjoy this for whatever it was. Yeah, right. She was in so much trouble.
“That’s okay.” She tucked a strand of short blonde hair behind her ear, pretending a sophistication she didn’t possess. “I have no expectations where you’re concerned.”
If she repeated that often enough maybe she’d convince them both.
She’d never thought of herself as a good liar, but she must have done a decent job because after only a moment of hesitation he grinned, leaned so close she imagined she could feel his body heat.
“We’ll have to work on that.” He tweaked her nose and she felt the aftershocks all the way to her toes. “I’ll pick you up here at seven.”
Work on that? He wanted her to have expectations where he was concerned? Um, no. That was the pre-Simon Madison. The new Madison would never ever have expectations where a man was concerned. No way.
“Better make it a quarter after.” Even that would be pushing it. She rarely got off on time. Tonight she’d make extra effort and pray nothing came up with her patients.
He watched her a moment, half as if he thought she’d pushed the time back just to be perverse, but then he nodded.
“Done.” He straightened, sent another heart-melting grin her way. “See you then.”
Madison hadn’t thought she’d see Levi again during the workday, but one of his patients took a turn for the worse and she paged him. She’d heard rales, fine crackles, in Mr. Ridge’s chest, called Levi, and he’d ordered a chest X-ray, a complete blood count, and increased vital checks. At lunch he came by to examine the man and requested she check on Mr. Ridge with him.
Just seeing him stole her breath. She was having dinner with him tonight!
Which was no big deal.
Right.
“I called his family after I spoke with you,” she said in the hope of keeping her mind on her patient and not her patient’s very handsome doctor. “His daughter has been sitting with him almost non-stop, but she went home this morning.” This distraction technique wasn’t really working, but she kept talking anyway. “He’s been alone since.”
But whereas she was having trouble focusing, Levi seemed to be having no problem whatsoever, his expression somber. “You spoke with the daughter when you called?”
“I did. She was devastated that he’d gotten worse after she left, although I assured her there was nothing she could have done to prevent his downturn. She’ll be back this afternoon and plans to stay the night. I felt badly for her.”
He nodded. “Illness can be as difficult for the family as it is for the patient.”
Touched at Levi’s empathy, she followed him into the room. He spoke to his patient, but the elderly man barely acknowledged his presence and showed no signs of recognizing him.
“I’m going to listen to your heart and lungs,” he informed his patient, prior to leaning forward to place the diaphragm of his stethoscope on the man’s frail chest. When he’d finished listening, he sighed. “You’re right, Madison. He probably has aspirated and developed pneumonia. Is his chest X-ray back?”
She shook her head. “Not as of a few minutes ago. I’ll pull up the test on the electronic medical record system to see if the results have been entered yet.”
“Go ahead and get respiratory therapy up here, too. I want percussion and breathing treatments started ASAP.”
“Yes, sir.” Madison turned to the computer and entered Levi’s verbal orders while he finished examining his patient.
“Let’s keep round-the-clock pulse oximetry and oxygen going. Three liters per minute for now. If sat levels don’t go up to where I want, I’ll increase the flow rate, but we’ll need to get arterial blood gases to watch for increased carbon dioxide levels so we won’t push him into hypercapnia.”
Madison nodded her approval.
“Start IV antibiotics at one gram per twenty-four hours.” He named the specific antibiotic he wanted used.
When she’d finished keying in his orders, she turned back to where Levi spoke with his patient. “Still no X-ray report. Sorry. I’ll call Radiology and see what the hold-up is.”
“That’s okay. I’ll call when we’ve finished here and at least get a verbal.” He motioned for her to move to the opposite side of the hospital bed. “Help me sit him up.”
She did so, stabilizing Mr. Ridge, while Levi tapped on the man’s back, carefully listening to the sounds he made.
“Left lower lobe changes,” he murmured. Although the man just stared blankly, Levi explained what he was going to do to, then began beating on the man’s back more earnestly, trying to work loose any mucus consolidations.
When they’d finished, she followed Levi out of the hospital room, noting the tension etched onto his face.
He wrapped his stethoscope around his neck. “Pneumonia isn’t going to do a thing to help his renal failure and other health issues.”
“No, but you’re doing all you can.” Why did she feel the need to reassure him? She’d never had that reaction to Levi before. Hot, steamy tingles all over, yes. The need to comfort, no. “Stopping the arthritis medication he was having the adverse reaction to has improved his creatnine and blood urea nitrogen levels. His last basic metabolic profile was almost back to normal.”
Levi’s cellphone beeped and he sighed. “Won’t be for long if we can’t get the pneumonia cleared.”
True. Pneumonia could send an elderly person into organ failure quickly. Unfortunately, with Mr. Ridge already so ill this development was serious. Then again, when wasn’t pneumonia serious?
“If his saturation drops below ninety with the oxygen in place, call me.” Levi opened his phone, clicked to see whom the text message was from. He paused just long enough to send her a quick smile. “Bye, Madison. I’ll see you later.”
Madison watched him walk away, even managed to keep her gaze from dropping to his rear. Mostly. Could she help that he had such a great behind that it demanded a visual perusal at every given opportunity?
Had to be because she was now in the role of a player. That had to be why her hormones were so…so…energized.
“Don’t even think that I don’t see what you’re looking at and that I didn’t hear what he said,” a familiar feminine voice whispered close to her ear. “Tell me everything.”
Face going hot, Madison turned toward her charge nurse, roommate, and best friend Karen. The tall brunette was staring at her with narrowed brown eyes.
“Nothing is going on,” she hedged, knowing Karen only half-heartedly agreed with her “if you can’t beat them, join them” relationship motto. Her friend often vocalized her fear that Madison was setting herself up for great heartache, one much worse than that Simon had delivered.
“Yeah, I believe that.” Karen rolled her eyes, grabbed Madison’s elbow and pulled her into an empty patient room. She closed the heavy wooden door. “Now, tell Aunty Karen the truth. What happened after Dr. Fielding took you to his office on Saturday afternoon? I’ve been dying to know, but had already left with Connor when you got home on Saturday, haven’t had a chance to ask today, and you were vague when I called yesterday.”
“I was at work,” she reminded her friend, still not quite believing Karen had contacted her at work to chat about the company picnic theatrics. She gave her friend a pointed look. “My boss doesn’t like it when I have personal calls at work.”
“Okay, forget your boss. She sounds like a drag, although I’m sure she’s a gorgeous drag.” Karen grinned, not even coming close to pulling off an innocent look as she struck a funny pose. “However, your best friend wants you to give her the scoop because she’s really worried about you dallying with the likes of Dr. Fielding. He’ll eat you alive.”
Now, there was an interesting possibility.
Madison’s hand went to her mouth, glad Karen couldn’t read her thoughts
or her friend would really be worried.
“Fine. I’ll tell my best friend the scoop.” Because Karen wouldn’t let up until she told her. “He X-rayed my ribs, declared them unbroken, and took me home.”
“Nothing else?” Karen stared at her suspiciously. “You’re sure? Because you didn’t answer your phone on Saturday night and I did call to check on you. Repeatedly.”
Yes, Karen had called her cell to check on her several times. After the first interruption, when she’d assured Karen she was fine, Madison had turned her ringer to silent. She had been out with Levi. Surely she’d be forgiven for not being available just this once?
“After my X-rays, he took me out for pizza,” she admitted slowly, deciding she wanted Karen’s opinion. “But just because neither of us had gotten to eat at the picnic.”
“Right. Now we’re getting somewhere.” Karen rubbed her hands together. “So, you and Dr. Fielding went out for pizza. That’s awesome. Why didn’t you tell me this yesterday?”
That’s awesome? What happened to “worried” about her dallying with Levi? Maybe talking to Karen was going to leave her more confused than she already was.
“It’s really not that big a deal.” Madison shrugged. “We went for pizza. End of story.”
“End of story? No big deal? You went for pizza with the hottest doctor at Angel Creek after saying you planned to test drive your new hotrod persona on him, and you expect me to believe it’s no big deal?” Karen lowered her voice to a pitch an elementary school kid might have used during a library session. “Did he kiss you?”
“No,” Madison answered immediately, not liking how her friend’s brows had knitted together. Or maybe it was the heat rushing into her cheeks that she didn’t like. Or the fact that Levi hadn’t kissed her—she definitely didn’t like that. Players wanted to be kissed. “He didn’t kiss me. Despite my plan to seduce Levi for a one-nighter, Saturday night wasn’t a date. Just pizza.”
“Then why did he say he’d see you this evening?” Karen arched her brow and tapped her white tennis shoe expectantly. “For more pizza that’s not a date so you can practice your new I-couldn’t-care-less-about-a-guy motto?”