Paradox: On the Sharp Edge of the Blade
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She continued to follow the teacher’s instructions but didn’t even notice the progression of moves until everyone began rolling up their mats. After changing in a toilet stall—couldn’t let the other students see her scars—she hurried back to Tate, anxious to get started.
Chapter 2 – SUCCESS IN THE LAB
Kathleen’s lab space was a small, poorly lit corner of the basement. She’d chosen it as a place unlikely to be disturbed by the other students, and it also had the added benefit of being relatively free from various types of interference. Something about the combination of being underground and the old pipes in the building insulated it from radio signals. Her cell phone was always totally dead when she was in there.
She settled into the old desk chair she used and started her computer. While it was firing up, she pulled some notes out from under her microscope.
The microscope was a gift from her adoptive father. Not being highly informed about physics, he’d purchased the antique at a garage sale and presented it to her with the vague hope that she could use it to see some atoms or something. She had grown attached to the instrument, which was medical quality and quite heavy. She had no use for it but kept it near her in the lab as sort of a talisman to remind her that two people had loved her, at least. It also made a great paperweight, so, she reflected, it was of some practical use to her.
It took a little time for her computer to start, since she habitually encrypted the entire storage with a 1,024 bit encryption routine. This wasn’t state of the art, but it would be difficult enough to break the key that she felt her data was fairly secure. It would probably take a few months of expensive computing time to crack.
She was deep in a meta-analysis of extremely complex data that originated largely from the CERN Large Hadron Collider. The LHC’s twenty-seven kilometer circular tunnel and thousands of magnets generated massive amounts of data from seven different experiments.
Kathleen had never been closer to CERN than New York City, but she had access to the data through a secondary source: a specialized computing grid that allowed for distributed processing handled the main analysis.
Kathleen's single computer couldn’t begin to compare to the raw power the multiple labs could bring to bear on the data, but she was more interested in analyzing it in a totally different way. Her fledgling theory relied on some complex math that paradoxically didn’t require more computing power than was at her disposal. This was partially because she was, in her own introverted way, somewhat of a math genius and had created her own form of analysis. The other students didn’t understand it, and even her beloved Professor Mackleroy could only follow part of the logic.
After downloading a terabyte of data, she paused to fix a cup of tea. Cup safely in hand, she filtered the data, ran a transform on it and integrated it with the other downloads. She’d previously created a routine to massage the numbers automatically. A little quiver of her lips betrayed her underlying tension as she started the program in its processing. This was going to take some time. She might as well get comfortable. It was going to be a long night.
A little while later, she noted that the routine was approximately a tenth of the way through the massive amount of data. She’d been thinking about the various possible outcomes in a kind of fugue as she waited. Her mind drifted back to the subject.
One result was that the analysis would show nothing. If that happened, she’d have to go back to square one and start over. It would spell disaster for her doctoral program, probably setting her back years. She sincerely hoped that wouldn’t be the outcome.
Her desire, of course, was that her theory would be confirmed. That was a potentially earth-shaking result that would move quantum mechanics towards more fully accepting the ideas of John Cramer and would have implications that might allow some form of time-travel.
Her mind blurred for a second, and she jerked awake, reaching for her teacup. In yet another moment of deja vu, she knew that it was cold. , she thought. She stretched and sat upright in her chair to check the computer’s progress. It was still cranking on the problem. She lapsed back into her reverie. I’m probably too tired for this
If she could show time-travel was possible, then she'd contribute to saving innumerable terminally ill children. Future medical advances would surely hold the key to curing all sorts of cancers and genetic diseases. Perhaps travel into the past could alleviate children's illnesses before they became a problem. It might allow the rescue of unwanted babies, before their mother –
She flinched. Her motivation was partially selfish, and that now brought it home to her. She stubbornly completed the thought, If I could go back and convince my mother not to go through with the abortion or maybe even keep her from being involved with the man who used and dumped her, I could just be happy.
She ignored the paradox that stopping her mother from becoming pregnant would mean that she wouldn't exist and hence, wouldn't be able to discover her theory. She'd made a decision early on not to worry about actual implementation issues. If there were potential paradoxes, she'd let others deal with them. All she wanted was to prove her own worth by discovering something that would benefit others.
She had jumped mentally to a whole line of research based on the idea of time-travel. She had never dared to vocalize her ideas, but she cherished the thought that complex energy wave systems, on the human level, might be able to move in time. To her, this would require a mental shift. She thought it might be like awakening from a lucid dream, only to find the dream state had somehow manifested into reality, and the pre-dream reality had become the dream state.
Her yoga classes and meditation training also provided her with mental support for the idea. She knew from her own experience that she could move into a theta brain state and engage in what she termed ‘virtual travel’ to other places.
Sometimes the places were physical locations, and other times they were not to be found in the normal universe. She’d had numerous out-of-body experiences and felt that this was a beginning step towards actual traveling in space and time.
Her mind snapped back to the here-and-now as she reflexively took a sip from her cup. It was ice cold. She’d been in an almost dream state as she waited. , she thought. She stretched and sat upright in her chair to check the computer’s progress again. It was done. Probably too tired
She opened the results file, her hands visibly shaking. She had to read the results twice, and then she printed it out and crosschecked her understanding. Her analysis showed that, under certain circumstances, certain types of particles behaved in exactly the way she’d predicted.
She quickly shut down her machine, grabbed a file folder and left the lab. An hour later, she’d collected her bike and ridden home. Halfway there, she remembered that she'd left her cell phone in her desk. She shrugged. No one ever called her anyway.
Now she was sitting on the edge of her bed in the dark, thinking. How would she go about announcing her results? Tell Professor Mackleroy first, of course. But then what? She crawled under the covers, shivering until the sheets warmed up. After what seemed an eternity of worried thoughts, she drifted into an uneasy sleep.
In the middle of the night, she woke with a gasp. Something had happened, somewhere. Someone had been injured or was in great danger. She sat up, trembling, but the information faded and seemed to elude her as dreams often do. After awhile she lay back down and tried to sleep, gradually relaxing.
It was nearly morning. She woke, stretched, and curled up again. She didn’t have to be anywhere until later, so she felt safe in sleeping in for a bit. Besides, it’s not often that one has a chance to savor the feeling of a great discovery. After some time, she fell back asleep and dreamed.
She was walking in a forest. The trees were mostly evergreens, and it was cold, even colder than normal. There was danger somewhere nearby, and she was hurrying to find a refuge. From what, she didn’t know, but she sensed urgency. There was a sensation of large forms moving through the trees, but they
were indistinct, and she couldn’t make them out. They were dangerous but not ‘the danger.’ She kept walking. Then she saw a figure approaching. It was male, and she was strongly attracted. As the emotion washed over her, some voice in the back of her mind warned her that men were dangerous, and she was scarred and unattractive. The danger following her was nearer, and she found herself rushing towards the male figure despite the warning. She envisioned the figure as a handsome and strong man...
With a start, she sat up in bed. She was breathing heavily, partly from fear and partly from arousal. “I wonder what that was all about,” she whispered, her hand at her throat. “I’ve never had a dream like that before.”
She tried to remember the male figure, but only came up with a vague image, now fading. Frustrated, she got out of bed and prepared for the exciting news she would deliver to Professor Mackleroy.
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If you've enjoyed these two chapters of , you can find the book at: . Heart of Fire Time of Ice Amazon -- Heart of Fire Time of Ice