The Moment of Truth

by Tara Taylor Quinn

  “For her sake, yeah. Daniel used to go for a week or more without speaking to her when he was at his most insecure, when he’d put her in a situation where she had to make a choice and she’d choose me—like attending my high school graduation instead of this ceremony that happened to be on the same night when he was getting Richmond’s business owner of the year award—and I’d see what that did to her.”

  “That’s wrong.”

  She shrugged, but not enough to push his arm off her shoulders. Almost all of the houses they passed had lights shining through curtained windows. Josh had never spent a lot of time in middle-class neighborhoods, with real people who lived real lives.

  He wondered how many of the people inside those homes lived happy lives. And how many struggled.

  In the house up on the hill where he’d grown up, a hill populated by rolling estates and family mansions, love hadn’t been a driving factor. Expectations. Appearances. Those had come first.

  He’d fit in there. As long as he met his father’s expectations, he could do whatever else he wanted. Wasn’t required to be more than he was.

  Would he trade it all for a year with a father like the young Daniel had been?

  At the moment he thought so.

  “But I also think I agreed to marry Keith to please Daniel. I guess maybe I hoped it would get me back into his good graces, that I’d be like the other two girls to him.”

  “It didn’t happen.”

  “Nope. Nothing is going to change who I am. Or what I signify to him.”

  Josh chilled. Though she’d have no idea, her words hit a little too close to home. Was it true that nothing could change who she was? Or who he was?

  Maybe the truth lay in her second statement. As far as Daniel was concerned, nothing was going to change what Dana signified to him.

  He breathed a little easier.

  “So you think that’s when your mother applied for the scholarship on your behalf?”

  “Yeah. When she saw that I was still getting hurt by Daniel’s distance from me. And I also think that that’s why she doesn’t admit to having applied. Because then Daniel would know that she’d chosen to put an end to his ability to help his best friend out of a really tight spot, in order to tend to my future.”

  “So, she kept another secret from him to do with you. The secret of applying for the scholarship.”

  “That’s what I believe. But I don’t have any proof of that one.”

  She was quiet then, as though considering her theory. Enjoying their walk, enjoying the chance to be close to her without doing any more than keeping her warm, Josh was happy to continue for as long as she needed.

  “I’m my mother’s daughter, Josh, but I can’t make her mistakes.”

  “If you’re smart, you’ll learn from them,” he said, thinking as much of his own mistakes as her mother’s.

  “I’m pregnant, Josh.”

  They were halfway up the street and took a couple of rapid steps. His arm fell away from her. He quit walking. She didn’t.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  DANA WAS A GOOD FIVE STEPS ahead of Josh before she realized she’d lost him. Stopping, she waited for him to catch up. And when he didn’t, she turned around to see if he’d left her completely.

  He was where he’d been when she’d dropped her bombshell.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, backtracking. “That just came out of the blue. I practiced a bunch of different speeches and didn’t use any of them. There was just no easy way to tell you. No way to make the news good, or even okay.”

  He was looking at her mouth, as though trying to decipher her words. “I’ve had a few hours to process this whole thing,” she said, understanding that he was probably feeling as if he’d dropped into a black hole.

  At least, that was how she’d been feeling for most of the day.

  Or maybe he was doubting her. Maybe he was thinking that what had happened a week ago Thursday had been by design. Her design. A classic case of plain girl trying to trap the handsomest guy in town in the most old-fashioned way. “I want you to know that I’m having this baby on my own, Josh,” she said, the words forming as though they’d been there all day.

  Maybe they had. Or maybe they were just becoming clear. But she felt real conviction behind them. Not only did Josh not want to be a father, he didn’t think he could be one. He’d made his feelings very clear the night he’d practically suffocated when he’d found out that she wasn’t on the pill. He’d also made it abundantly clear that she couldn’t rely on him for anything.

  He’d been honest.

  And honesty was the one thing she valued more than anything else on earth.

  “Even if you wanted to be involved, at this point, I won’t allow it.” She wasn’t giving him a chance to let her or the baby down. “I just had to let you know. This is a small town and you’re going to see me pregnant at some point and after seeing what my mother’s lie has done to my family, how much pain she caused, I had to be up front with you.”

  “And you think everyone in town knowing I’m the father and seeing me have nothing to do with the child is going to make me happy?”

  “I wasn’t planning to tell anyone who the father is,” she said. “I actually never once considered doing so. I just had to tell you.”

  They started slowly walking again. Side by side. Not touching. She kept her hands firmly in her pockets and her body a good foot away from his. “I guess, if—or I should say when—I meet someone I want to spend the rest of my life with, I will tell him, too. He’ll need to know.” She’d have to find someone willing to take on another man’s child. But in today’s world, that wasn’t as much of a stigma as it had been in her mother’s day.

  She thought about the future. To a time when her child was old enough to ask questions. She’d be honest with him or her, too.

  But she and Josh didn’t need to deal with that right now. If she could find him, she’d consult with him about that when the time came.

  “Fair enough.”

  For a second she thought she’d been thinking aloud. And then she realized he was replying to her comment about telling her future husband about him some day.

  She walked to the end of the block. And when he remained completely silent, she turned the corner again, heading toward his place.

  Back at his house, she greeted the puppies with the effusiveness they deserved. She took Lindy Lu out of her kennel, but picked up the kennel in her other hand and walked toward the front door.

  “Aren’t you going to put her out?”

  “I need to get home,” she said. “It’s been a long day.”

  She’d been feeling as if she was on the verge of tears all day and had a feeling the flood was going to break through any minute.

  She wanted to be alone when it did.

  * * *

  THE FIRST THING Josh did after Dana left was throw away the rest of the bottle of Scotch he’d mostly consumed the night before. He was not going to make it easy on himself to escape—not into a bottle and not anywhere else, either.

  With L.G. on his arm, he dropped down to the couch, sitting in the near-dark.

  The lasagna sat like lead in his stomach. He wanted to puke, but couldn’t.

  He wanted to be angry. But wasn’t.

  He waited until Dana had had enough time to get home and then he called her. When she didn’t pick up, he called her again.

  And kept calling until he finally heard a very subdued and slightly nasal, “Hello?”

  “You know it’s me.”

  “Yeah.”

  She was finally on the line and he had no idea what to say to her. “Thank you for telling me.” That much was good. “You did the right thing.”

  “I know.”

  “You’ve be
en crying.”

  “It’s been a rough day, Josh. It’ll pass.”

  “You just found out today, then?” He hadn’t asked. Not about how she’d found out. Or how she felt about it.

  She’d been so sure it was her safe time of the month.

  “Yeah, I’ve known since this morning. I took a home-pregnancy test.”

  Letting go of a very deep breath, Josh sat upright, knocking L.G. off his lap. The puppy landed on his butt, shook himself and lay down. “They’re not all that accurate, are they?”

  “They’re usually only wrong when they’re negative,” she said. “At least that’s what I understand from all the reading I’ve done. The positive result means I have an elevated amount of the pregnancy hormone in my body. That happens when a woman is pregnant. A negative could have meant that I was pregnant, but not far enough along to be excreting the hormone yet.”

  “How far along do you have to be?” It had only been nine days.

  “A few days. Some women just take longer than others to gestate.”

  She knew her stuff. Deflated, he sat back. Face it, Redmond. There’s no easy-out this time.

  “I’m sorry.” Dana’s voice sounded stronger than it had when she answered the phone.

  “This isn’t your fault,” he said. “At least, no more than it’s mine. We did this together, Dana.”

  Another truism that he knew he had to live with. That he was determined to live with.

  “We need to talk.”

  She’d been way ahead of him on that one. And had driven over to his place for that express purpose. After she’d told him, he hadn’t said a word. But then, like she’d said, she’d had a head start on him.

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty tired.” Dana’s answer came on a sigh. “Can we just let this go for tonight and look at it again in the morning?”

  “Of course.” Was his relief as palpable to her as it was to him?

  “Okay, well, good night.”

  “Night.”

  Josh hung up, grateful for the reprieve.

  * * *

  DANA SAT STRAIGHT up in bed. Her text indicator had just beeped. Josh? Was he lying in the dark awake, too? Needing her as badly as she needed him?

  Feeling as though the world was settling a bit, she grabbed her phone.

  Marissa’s sick. Drank too much. If I take her to the dorm she’ll be in trouble. Can I bring her there?

  Lori. Not Josh.

  She glanced at the information bar at the bottom of her smartphone. It was midnight. The girls were just making curfew.

  Of course.

  Climbing out of bed and throwing on sweats, she smiled, grateful for the distraction. It was much better taking care of someone else than worrying about herself.

  * * *

  HE SLEPT THROUGH the night and woke up early, ready to face the day. Throwing off the covers, Josh was halfway to the bathroom before reality smacked him.

  He was going to be a father.

  He was overcome by a wave of panic so great it stopped him in his tracks. What he knew about babies, or children in general, would take up less than a paragraph.

  Continuing on to the bathroom, he peed. Put L.G. out to pee.

  He couldn’t think of one time when he’d ever spent a significant amount of time with a child.

  So he made a cup of coffee, grabbed one of the mugs Sam had left and filled it, carrying it back with him to the shower.

  The couples he knew who had kids only included Josh in their plans when a babysitter was involved. No one associated him as a guy they’d want to bring their kids around.

  Or a guy who’d want kids around.

  And they’d been right.

  * * *

  LORI AND MARISSA were still asleep when Dana got out of her shower. She jotted down a short note inviting them to stay as long as they liked, to help themselves to food and to lock up when they left, and left the duplex with Lindy Lu under her arm Sunday morning. She wanted to call Lillie, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

  She decided, instead, to take a drive to the mountains not far out of town. But after an hour of feeling sorry for herself, she drove back to Shelter Valley determined to find a way to be happy about the prospect of being a single mom.

  Lindy Lu bore the ordeal with unusual equanimity, mixed in with some chewing on Dana’s fingers with very sharp puppy teeth. Dana rewarded her with a stop at the big-box store for a bag of puppy-size chew toys. And left her in her kennel in the car as she made her next stop.

  A mission for Love To Go Around.

  She’d met Skyline, the fifteen-pound short-haired mix rescue pup, twice before and her foster family was sorry to see her go. They’d have kept her but they were only in Shelter Valley from October until April each year and couldn’t take her with them.

  And Dana knew it was important to get the dog in a permanent home. Skyline had had enough turmoil in her young life.

  Thanks to Josh, Dana had a potential family for her.

  As soon as Amy answered the door, Dana knew Skyline had found her forever home.

  “Oh, look at you!” the woman said, making eye contact, not with Dana, but with the dog in Dana’s arms. “Can I hold her?”

  “Of course.” Dana turned the one-year-old female over to her new owner. “Her name’s Skyline. She’s been spayed,” she said. “She doesn’t tolerate a leash. Or a collar, either, but I suspect that if you work with her with nonchoke collars, you’ll be able to overcome that. She’s had all of her shots and just passed her one-year checkup with flying colors. She knows her name so I don’t recommend changing it at this point, but that’s up to you.”

  “So you’re Dana!” She’d been so focused on how the dog responded to the woman, she hadn’t even noticed the wiry man who’d come up behind Amy.

  “Oh, sorry.” The woman glanced up and Dana liked what she read in her compassionate green eyes. “I’m Amy and this is my husband, Ian. We do have manners, I swear.”

  Smiling, Dana focused on the woman. “I’m thrilled that you’re more interested in the dog than you are in manners,” she said.

  “You want to come in?” Ian asked, grinning at her with a familiarity that could only mean Josh had talked about her.

  What would he have said?

  “I think we’re good here,” she said. She’d been planning to ask if she could bring Lindy Lu in and stay with Skyline for a little while, to watch the family interact with the dog, but she’d already seen enough. The dog was comfortable.

  And Dana was not. No matter where she’d been that morning, or how busy she stayed, she couldn’t find an ounce of peace within her own skin. “If you want to keep her for a day, I can stop by tomorrow and—”

  “I think we’re going to be keeping her, period,” Ian said, a resigned smile on his face, but a happy glint in his eye as he reached out to pet the dog nestled against his wife. “Is there paperwork we have to do?”

  She had it with her. She filled out her part and left the rest. Taking a couple of minutes to go over the Love To Go Around brochure she was leaving with them, as well as the contract agreement, she said, “I’ll be back tomorrow to see how you’re all doing and if you still want her, we can finalize things then.”

  It wasn’t like her to be so short and to the point.

  But it wasn’t like her to be newly pregnant, either.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  JOSH NEEDED AN ADVENTURE. Something different. Something he’d never done before.

  Surfing the internet for an Arizona day adventure, he shook his head again and again. He’d already been skydiving. Enough times to be instructor material. He’d flown his own plane. He’d climbed mountains bigger than any they had in Arizona.

  He’d never dug fo
r gold, but it didn’t sound all that appealing. Not dangerous enough. Fishing was out for the same reason.

  Drag car racing...been there done that. Maybe he should try tent camping in the raw desert, just him and the cacti and bobcat to contend with.

  And L.G. He could take the pup out in the desert.

  L.G. would probably get stung by a scorpion or stick his nose in a rattlesnake hole.

  And then he saw it...hot-air ballooning over the desert. There was something he’d never done. Might not be risky enough. Or fast enough, though.

  Beggars couldn’t be choosers.

  Apologizing to L.G., he gave the pup an extra treat, locked him in his kennel and headed out to lose himself in the excitement of trying something new.

  * * *

  SUNDAYS WERE DANA’S least busy days. It was still way too early to start cooking for Thanksgiving—the holiday was eleven days away. And she’d already done all of the shopping.

  Lori and Marissa hung around for most of the afternoon, watching a movie with her and eating popcorn. And then they were gone and she was left with her pets for company, a list of completed chores, no homework and an empty laundry hamper.

  She cleaned Billy’s cage. And remembered something she’d read once about cat litter boxes and pregnancy, which sent her to her laptop. Toxoplasma gondii. The parasite commonly found in cat litter boxes could cause stillbirth or brain damage in an unborn infant if a pregnant woman became infected by it.

  She read on. About gloves and masks and hand washing and blood tests.

  “We’ll handle this,” she told Lindy Lu, who was sitting on her lap. Kari, thankfully, was blissfully unaware as she snoozed on the textbook Dana had finished reading early that morning. Putting the puppy in her kennel, she drove to the twenty-four-hour clinic in town and asked to have a blood test. Because it was Sunday the procedure was quick. Getting the results was going to take a few days.

  Then she went to the store, bought gloves and masks and an extra container of antibacterial hand soap to set on the sink in the laundry room and went home.