Hidden Judgment

by Diane Benefiel

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Ellie stirred, pain from her throbbing knee pulling her out of sleep. She blinked several times as awareness returned. She’d been flown to the hospital in Pendleton, lost the argument about being admitted overnight, and had finally been able to fall asleep sometime around midnight.

  The muted glow of early morning shone around the blinds over the window, casting enough light to allow her to see the man sprawled in a chair beside her bed. Sam had arrived late in the evening and she had to admit that when she’d heard his voice, her anxiety dissipated. It was like she knew on a subconscious level that if Sam was there, she was safe.

  Though she’d been ready to kick him out when he’d insisted that the doctor admit her after he’d diagnosed her concussion. The doctor had agreed with Sam’s point that since the blow to her head wasn’t the first incident affecting her brain in a matter of weeks, she needed observation.

  Now, with long legs stretched in front of him and wrapped in a too-thin, too-short blanket, he hardly looked comfortable. Dark lashes resting against high cheekbones made her wonder why guys always scored long, thick eyelashes.

  Tousled hair falling over his forehead would’ve given him a boyish look but for the bruising around his eye and the dark whiskers shadowing his jaw.

  He had to be exhausted to be able to sleep in that position.

  There were so many things about him she admired—his sharp intelligence, his sly humor, his basic decency—things that she would commend in many people, but in Sam they were on top of something more, something that had her feeling like she was dangling over a cliff by her fingertips. If she loosened that grip by even one finger, she’d free-fall into love with him, and that scared her as nothing in the past few days had.

  Her feelings for him weren’t exactly straightforward, because thrown into the mix was the knowledge that while he might care for her, caring was a long way from love. Their fake engagement had led to forced proximity, which by its nature amplified feelings that would wane as life got back to normal.

  She wished Sam didn’t feel responsible for her. And she wished even more that he respected her ability to do her job.

  She shifted onto her back, trying to stifle a groan at the soreness in her knee. She wanted to use the toilet, brush her teeth, and, most importantly of all, take a shower and wash her hair.

  Sam stirred and sat up. “Hey, you’re awake. What time is it?”

  She glanced at the clock on the wall. “Just after seven.”

  He tossed off the blanket and rose to his feet to stand at the side of the bed.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Better. Headache is gone.” She used a button to raise the head of the bed. “Would you help me get up?”

  “I’ll call the nurse.”

  “Fine, but while we’re waiting, I want you to help me to the bathroom.”

  He pressed the call button as she pushed herself upright. “Hang on,” he said. He lowered the side rail. “I’ll carry you.”

  “No, you won’t carry me. It’s not like I have a joint injury and have to keep weight off my knee.” He offered his hand and, holding on to him, she tested her weight on her leg. “See, I’m good. There’s no additional pain.”

  “You’re being stubborn. Let me carry you.”

  “No, I can make it.” She walked with him to the bathroom, and when she got there, shut the door firmly lest he decide she needed even more help.

  She returned to the room as Bella walked in carrying several bags.

  “You found my purse? Thank you.”

  “And your phone, so you’re welcome.” Bella handed it to her, plus a plastic bag, before shrugging a daypack off her shoulder. She dug in her pocket to hand Sam his phone.

  “Cool, thanks.” Sam immediately began thumbing through messages.

  “I brought a change of clothes and some toiletries you might need.” Bella emptied rolled clothes from the daypack. “The pants and shirt are Seth’s. They’ll be too big but will fit better than mine or Linc’s would.”

  “Whatever you brought is better than a hospital gown, so thank you again.” Ellie opened the plastic bag to find a toothbrush and toothpaste, hair products in small bottles, and hand lotion. “This is wonderful. You’re a lifesaver.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Head’s good, knee hurts.” She picked up the bags. “I’ll feel even better after a shower.” Ignoring Sam’s scowl, she made her way back to the bathroom.

  When she got out, Bella had gone. Sam had pulled up the window blind to allow in the morning light, and stood with his back to the room, staring through the glass.

  He turned when he heard her. “Bella said she’ll be back later with your brothers and food.”

  “Okay.” She studied Sam’s expression, wondering if there was something going on with him.

  “The nurse said he’d be back to change the bandages on your knee and forehead. He didn’t sound happy that you were getting them wet.”

  She shrugged. “I hadn’t had a shower in two days. Feeling clean will help me to get better.”

  She’d rolled the waistband on Seth’s flannel pants, and the sweatshirt came well past her hips, but she felt infinitely better out of the hospital gown. She started to ease onto the bed when Sam strode over.

  “Jesus, will you wait a minute? I’ll help you.”

  “I’m fine, Sam. I’m not an invalid.”

  “Not unless being pigheaded makes you an invalid.” He watched her with an eagle eye, clearly unhappy that he couldn’t pick her up and arrange her on the bed himself. Once she was settled, he took her hand in both of his, rubbing his thumb over the engagement ring she still wore.

  She stared at their joined hands. “Thanks for being here. You must have spent a miserable night on that chair.”

  “I couldn’t leave you.”

  Her heart seemed to grow in her chest. “I’m glad you didn’t.”

  He brushed a kiss over her knuckles. “Ellie, I want—”

  Whatever Sam had been about to say was cut off when the door swished open. Ben came into the room, his white lab coat stitched with “Benjamin Montoya, MD.” He grinned as Sam let go of her hand. “You’re doing the engaged act really well.”

  Sam ignored the comment. “Thanks for coming.”

  “Glad you’re both okay, brother.” Ben stood at the foot of the bed, his dark gaze traveling over her. “How’s the pain, Ellie?”

  “The headache is better, but my knee hurts. A lot.”

  He consulted his iPad before saying, “Mind if I have a look?”

  She shook her head, and he pulled back the sheet. “Didn’t like the hospital duds, I see.”

  “Yup.”

  Sam stood on the other side of the bed. “She took a shower and got the bandages wet.”

  “Then we’ll take those off.” Ben pushed up her pant leg to reveal the damp bandage and peeled the tape from around her knee. “Someone got in their sewing practice, I see. Twelve stitches is impressive. It looks healthy.”

  “Is there permanent damage?” Sam asked.

  Ben shook his head. “No. It should heal pretty quickly.”

  He followed the same process with the wound on her forehead and the old injuries on her back and behind her ear. “Everything looks good, you’re healing well.”

  “Great, when will I be released?”

  “Soon. You’ll need to let the nurse replace the bandages and give you care instructions. Your chart says you’re due for your pain meds. Once that’s done, release will be dependent on what your convalescence arrangements are.”

  “She’s coming home with me.”

  Ellie frowned at Sam. “Why? Sarge was sending the threats and he’s dead. My assignment is done.”

  “Your assignment is done because that concussion has bought you a two-week off-work order, with full rest for at least one. That means no screen time, phone included,” Ben warned. “We’re not releasing you until we know you’ll be looke
d after.”

  “She’s coming home with me,” Sam repeated. “I’ll look after her.”

  “You don’t need to do that. They’ll make room for me at Marshal Central.”

  Sam was already shaking his head. “You’re coming home with me.”

  Ben grinned at his friend. “You two work it out. Staff will check back to see what you decide.” He turned to go, saying to Ellie, “I’ll let your nurse know you’re ready for the pain meds.”

  Sam walked out with Ben, returning minutes later with the nurse, who introduced himself as Kai. He reapplied the bandages and handed Ellie pain pills to swallow. Once he’d left, Sam dragged the chair he’d slept in closer to the bed and collapsed onto it. Dark circles shadowed his eyes.

  “You should go home and get some sleep. You look exhausted.”

  “I am exhausted.”

  He picked up her hand through the bed rails, his thumb once again rubbing the engagement ring. “We need to talk, Ellie.”

  “That sounds ominous.”

  “Not ominous, but we need to talk.”

  It suddenly hit her, his restlessness, the way he kept touching the ring.

  “Oh, right, the ring.” She pulled her hand from his and began working it off her finger.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Giving you back your ring.”

  “Why? You don’t need to do that.”

  “Of course I do. You must want it back. It was a prop. A beautiful prop, but not mine.” She ignored the hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach and held the ring out to him.

  His gaze locked on hers but she couldn’t read his expression. With a scowl, he took the ring. “Right.”

  He tucked it into his pocket as the door swished open, this time admitting three US Marshals carrying Styrofoam take-out containers and a caddy with hot drinks. Sam stood and moved to lean against a wall, arms crossed over his chest. He took a coffee Bella handed him, closing his eyes as he took a sip. Linc commandeered chairs from somewhere, bringing them in to arrange around her bed as food was passed out.

  The next time she looked, Sam was gone.

  A shower, food, coffee, pain meds, Ellie should be feeling better, but instead her mood deflated like a popped balloon. So that was that. Her assignment was done, her ring finger bare. And somehow she’d ended up with a broken heart.

  She thought she was hiding her feelings well enough until Bella raised a brow that Ellie read as What’s wrong? She shook her head, swallowing against the lump in her throat, and forced herself to pay attention. She was a Deputy US Marshal, and she would do her job.

  After answering the general questions about her welfare and eating most of her breakfast burrito, she asked Seth, “What happened? Did you get Dad?”

  Seth dumped the container from his breakfast in the trash before answering, anger tightening his features. “No sign of him. Marshals from Portland are fanning out, visiting all known contacts in the area. If he’s still here, they’ll find him.”

  “Except he won’t be anywhere around here.”

  Seth nodded. “Agreed. He’ll be long gone.”

  “On the positive side, we’ve broken SecAm,” Linc said. “We have possession of Sarge’s computers and Drew’s. If any members of the group are involved in the crimes Sarge committed, we’ll have the evidence to prosecute them.”

  Linc shook his head. “Drew was using his last name as his password. We’ve already accessed his email account and have proof Sarge was sending the threats to Sam. Sarge was Freedom Defender. There were also details of the plan to target Sam while he was out running. Sarge wanted Drew to drive the truck, but when he refused, Sarge did it himself. Lucky for all of us, he failed.”

  Linc sipped his coffee. “Oh, one more thing. We found the dog. Smelled godawful, but we took him over to Rock Creek Ranch. The old guy, Pete Montoya, said they’d get him cleaned up and keep him.”

  “Oh, that’s good.” Ellie was glad the dog hadn’t been left to fend for itself. “Thanks.”

  “We also discovered that problems at Rock Creek Ranch were Drew’s doing,” Seth added. “We found an email where Drew said ranches being harassed, particularly by environmentalists, would bring calls from the community for stronger protections of gun rights.”

  “And our father is part of all this, including being a member of SecAm.” Ellie didn’t pose it as a question.

  Seth rubbed a hand over the scruff of his beard. “He is. From what we can see so far, he doesn’t get his hands dirty. He posts ideological diatribes online that get their followers stirred up, then he leaves them to take illegal actions that might get them thrown in jail.”

  “We found C-four in Sarge’s barn,” Bella added. “Turns out he had explosives training in the military. It appears he’s the one who planted it on Sam’s car.”

  “To what degree was Drew involved?” Ellie asked. Whatever Drew had done, hopefully knowing that in the end he’d acted to protect his brother would soften Sam’s feelings of betrayal.

  “Only peripherally until he kidnapped you,” Seth said.

  “What about the flashbang thrown into Sam’s house, and whoever drove through the backyard?”

  “Linc’s been working on that.” Seth motioned to his brother. “Want to explain?”

  “We’re waiting on a warrant to search the vehicle and electronic equipment of nineteen-year-old Jeremy Finster.”

  “Jeremy Finster? Gordon’s son?”

  “Yeah. We’ve questioned both father and son. Gordon says his son doesn’t belong to any militia groups because he knows it would jeopardize dad’s job. But while he may not have joined any militia groups, we have evidence Jeremy participated in online forums advocating anti-government action to protect gun rights. We think he took it a step farther when he targeted you.”

  “How’d you figure out it was the son?”

  “Gordon was having car trouble and borrowed his son’s truck to drive to work. Same make, model, and color as in the video. We took it from there.”

  Kai opened the door, entering the room carrying a sheaf of papers. “I’ve got your discharge orders. We’ll process them once I know where you’ll go for convalescence.” He raised his eyebrows in question.

  Bella answered the Ellie. “She’ll either be with us or with her fiancé, Sam. She will be looked after.”

  “Great. Here’s a copy of her care instructions.”

  “Sam’s not my fiancé,” Ellie muttered after Kai left.

  Linc was busy texting on his phone but looked up. “Tell him that. Are we ready to pack up?”

  Feeling miserable, Ellie kept her unhappiness to herself as she took her seat in a wheelchair. Linc set her purse on her lap, slinging the other bags over his shoulder. “Seth and I will get the car.”

  The female attendant took the push handles with a sigh as the men walked out the door. “Those two? They’re what my grandma would call a long, cool drink of water.”

  “Ha,” Ellie said. “Don’t let them hear you say that. It’ll go to their heads.”

  Bella walked beside the wheelchair as they made their way through the maze of hallways. Once outside in the bright midday sunshine, Bella sat on a bench next to Ellie’s wheelchair to wait for her brothers.

  “I noticed you aren’t wearing your engagement ring,” her friend said. “Want to tell me about it?”

  “It wasn’t my engagement ring, and Sam broke up with me.” Ellie knew that didn’t make a lot of sense.

  “He asked for the ring back?”

  “Well, no. But he acted like he wanted it back. And we’re not engaged, so of course he should have it back.”

  “Did you ask him? Never mind,” Bella said. “I wish I’d taken a picture of that look on his face when you were flying off in the helicopter without him.”

  Ellie glanced at the attendant, then at Bella. “It was all fake, you know that.”

  “It may have started out that way, friend, but things changed for him.”

  The Land Cruiser p
ulled into the patient loading area and Sam stepped out.

  “See what I mean? He’s not done with you,” Bella murmured with a grin.

  The attendant fluttered a hand over her chest as Sam strode over. “Another one? You’re one lucky lady, let me tell you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “Ready to go?” Sam’s gaze traveled over her.

  “Why’d you leave?”

  “I had to get my car. Ready?” he repeated.

  “My brothers are taking me to Marshal Central.”

  “Bella can come with us. I texted Linc that I was on my way to get you. Something came up they need to take care of, so this works out.”

  Bella was busy texting as Ellie settled in the front passenger seat and Sam put her bags in the back. Bella stepped away from the vehicle as Ellie waved good-bye to the attendant.

  Ellie narrowed her gaze. “Aren’t you getting in?”

  Bella shook her head, smiling brightly. “Linc says they’ll pick me up, so you two can go ahead.”

  “We’ve been set up,” Ellie said as Sam drove away from the hospital.

  “How so?”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  He gave her a quizzical look.

  “Never mind.” They drove through town, and Ellie thought Sam was steering more carefully than usual.

  “What are you doing?”

  His brow furrowed. “Driving.”

  “You’re driving like a bump in the road will make me break.”

  He increased the speed by maybe five miles per hour.

  “You missed the street to Marshal Central.”

  He turned onto his own street. “No, I didn’t. It makes more sense for you to stay with me. There’s plenty of room, and your things are there.”

  She crossed her arms in front of her. “But you no longer need marshal protection.”

  “True.” He turned into his driveway.

  Sam’s house looked tidy and welcoming, the sun reflecting off the front window and chrysanthemum blooms waving in the breeze. This was what she’d been worried about. She loved Sam’s home, and coming back made her yearn for something that couldn’t be. The garage door rolled up, and Sam parked inside. Ellie slid from the vehicle with only a twinge from her knee while Sam retrieved her bags and purse from the back.