A Life Plan Without You.

by Christine Wood

  This hunky man stood grinning in front of me was his big brother? Umm yes, big brother and he’s yes, even more gorgeous up close and personal, I’m shouted at to ‘pay attention’, damn it bitch I hugged him tighter, you frightened me, thank you…

  “He was in a few of my classes at school and he’s in a couple at college. Well, thanks again Samuel, I’ve got to get on and back to trying to teach this group the tango and though I’m good at the girlie bits, the lads step troughs are harder for me.” Was he laughing at me again?

  “I had noticed, need a hand?” My lord, he was holding his hand for me to take. He’d reached down and is now had hold of my hand. He held on to it tightly shaking as he did and as he pulled me to him, his thumb brushed over my knuckles, sheisk, tingles sent through my whole body. “I can, if you want show you how it should be done?” He was undeniably laughing at me again and I blushed as he winked! He did wink or has he a squint in his beautiful ebony sparkling eyes?

  “No Samuel that’s not really necessary but thank you, I’m pretty sure I can cope, I’m a pretty quick learner but thanks anyway.” He smiled as he let go of my hand. He’s let go of my hand no, no, put it back. At the same time, there was a, voice behind me.

  “It’s fine Michelle I am here I have arrived thanks Miss E, just in the nick of time by the look of things. Nice shoes, by the way, you looking kind of hot there, babes.” Lee was by my side a kiss to my cheek and yet another smile and flash of his eyes at Sam.

  Lee is my teacher and has become such a good friend. He is head dance instructor and gay, he was the first openly gay man I had ever met and wouldn’t ever have given it a second thought, until the one and only night dad had ever picked us up, he was drunk and Aunty Liz was working at the hospital, so he came from the pub to walk us home and he said as we went down the stairs.

  “Keep away from the poof, they like dancing.” What planet was my drunken father on? Does he think you can catch the gay gene? He was my good friend and like me, he liked men? Well we both liked Sam anyhow! I laughed so too did Becky at just how stupid my dad’s reasoning was. Lee was a nice fella and friend, who yes liked dancing and men, so did I, I dreamed of them constantly. This being the only thing dad had ever said, that came close to the birds and the bees talk and forget mum doing the talk, she knew we’d be heard it all in school, she’d, had the letter from them informing her, of the upcoming lessons in year three, like she’d discuss anything like that with me.

  That part of life’s lessons learnt at school was the worst ever in school history, not only did the teacher not have a clue as to how to teach sex education, she had no control over the boys in the class either and every time, she mentioned penis or vagina she blushed. As they gave a call to rally whooping and stomping their feet, bummer this was a class full of idiots, I had hoped to learn something from that lesson, but they had ruined it.

  That was an embarrassing lesson, full of pre-pubescent boys, and the testosterone filled ones weren’t that much better behaved. Shit, I could I never look at another cucumber without seeing stupid condoms covering the things we had had to put them over to show well, you know the drill. Quite a few of the lads laughed and said most of the lads could use a banana as their model.

  One asked me should he use a banana or a cucumber, waving his nether region in my direction, touching himself up in front of me. Big mistake. I kicked him in his man zone and said neither it was now too shrivelled up and had died, and gone to lady-boy heaven, exit one teary eyed Gary Parkin. The more boisterous of the spotty faced boys had managed to blow them up and wear them as hats clever. Oh, having jonnies flicked at me was the highlight of the day, not. That memory locked in the mind safe, my keys thrown away. Snap out of it dolly daydream he’s going, daydreaming cost me precious seconds with him, and he missed more of my witty repartee! Bummer.

  “No problem Michelle, we can do it some other time. I will speak to you later… Now I know you can.” Wow, I shivered as he leant forward and whispered that in my ear, berrrrhhh ‘chills they’re multiplying and I’m losing my mind,’ (who knew what that line in Greece, my fav film of all time, actually meant this?) Literally I was in pieces. Yeahh, I’d had first contact with Sam, with a smile and a shoulder shrug he disappeared down stairs, to have his private lesson with Lana.

  He was off to the stunning girlfriend, she was better for him than me, they were the same age, they both had gorgeous drop-dead bodies and they had chemistry, and he did wait for her at school. On the other hand, was he in fact only waiting for James? I can dream that he’s here for me and he waits to see me? No… I saw the looks they gave each other, when I spied on them from the back steps, all the laughter, and their touches. All too often, I’d run back up and had a cry in the loo.

  The reason he was not interested in a frizzy haired me, she was the reason Michelle I told myself, the reason he’d never look at me like that was dancing with him in there, the glamorous leggy blonde, with the killer smile and drop-dead body, compare her perfection against all my faults, I realised last week I was on a hiding to nowhere, when they danced the Argentinian Tango, they looked like they were about to roll around on the floor and have sex. Gheeze did I run away crying… Shit I’m off again I go back into dreamland.

  A quick check of the shoes and ankle and back to helping Lee teach the rabble of chattering nippers. Deep sigh and carry on. Another slow hour passed, before we Ellie and I were finishing off our private lesson, when suddenly the Friday social lot had started to arrive. Lee had me dance the jive with him, he was such a fantastic dancer, we danced it to perfection and our lessons was nearly over. Then the lights would soon go down and not for the first time I dreamed I’d get to dance with someone, who wasn’t just a young boy, trying to cop a feel of a teachers bum, but I’d missed that ship.

  I turned around just in time to see a large group of people from college turning up at the door, Warren eagerly taking their fees. I was it had to be said gutted, no fair this is my world. My world goddamn it, (sheisk I’m swearing a lot in my head today,) a world I’d managed to keep secret from nearly everyone at school, and for such a long time too, and now the college idiots where here. How did they know? Who had let them know about my private little world, how had they found my hidden Shangri-La? Who was responsible for my secret worlds implosion or explosion? Sheisk who or what better duck I’m mad as holy hell…

  Who or what was soon answered, well fuck me and hold me back, before I set free the damn fire and damnation of all the devilled dogs in hell, I was about to go ballistic… The answer to that feared question and the reason my now mind-fucked head was exploding, with such a murderous amount of rage brewing, has just sashayed into the room, in she walked with her newly acquired boobs, they entered the room first, so perk, pointy and perfect, shit, she was here with the twins!

  I said to Tasha they were false, because she was as flat as a pancake before Christmas, and the when we got back from her Christmas skiing break, with Ellie, she had a perfect double-d sized pair! Mine were just there and I hadn’t a clue as to their size, I was hoping they’d go away soon. I was exercising to rid myself of them, with no such luck at the moment, I was just firming them up, shit snap back Missy and quickly

  In she waltzed in her posh frock and ever so grown up shoes. Which she hadn’t saved nor slaved for. Hers was the life I’d always wanted for myself. The nice clothes, holidays taken abroad. The Farah Fawcett bleached blonde streaked hair, all done in a salon, all be it her own mum’s salon. She lived the lifestyle of a spoilt, rich young madam. Here she was and she had dared to ruin my world, she had messed with it and she was trying to ruin it. I swore I’d kill her if she tried anything funny tonight, umm hopefully not out loud?

  She was not alone she had brought her inner circle and most of her hangers on with her. She was going to make here as bad was as the past seven years. I took their crap through the five of secondary school and the nearly two of college, she was only in a few classes I had at college, I was in catering and she
was in admin, but we still did other A level classes together, so for the main I was able to avoid her a lot, but she was here, and here in my Navarra, my Shangri-La, my peaceful garden. I will not take it this holy ground is unspoilt by malice and is a peaceful place a happy place but above all it’s mine! God no I wasn’t going to lose here, not to that bitch-troll-ho, she was going down… I was going to chop her down and cry timber as I watched her fall. This was my world and I ruled in my world here, this was my goddamned hen house not hers. I looked over at Ellie as she smiled at Karen and waved! Bitch, you’re going to suffer too…

  “Ellie, did you know Karen was coming tonight?” One look at her face said it all, of course she did. Samantha had, with sneaky beaky Ellie’s help, been rushing Karen through all the dances and levels in their private classes, twice a week for the past oh I don’t know four months or so?

  She had the look and she sort of knew what she was doing, and yeah she was good and a quick learner, for some reason she was here last week for her lesson when I got here early to run through some lesson plans with Lana, before her lesson with Sam and I was surprised to see her there, so I‘d seen her efforts, she was no technical expert, her timings were way off, but she looked the part.

  Until tonight though she hadn’t ever come to a social. Oh and there at the back of the group was Mandy, who also takes private lessons with my sister, she’s my friend and my neighbour and she’s dragged along with her, her new boyfriend and hard case, ex high school nutter and expelled thug, Paul Connor. At least I knew she wasn’t a backstabbing bitch.

  Tagging on at the back Jimmy, hunky dudes brother, could this night possibly get any get any worse? We did the last dance of the lesson and I listened to the chatter. Most was complementary, but putting in the boot was Karen, Lee had heard her ripping into my dancing abilities. Telling the ones she was sat with that I was doing it all wrong that she could do it better and so Lee had Cathy dance with Ellie and we did the Rhumba to the music. I was good at this, and as we were step perfect and technically unflawed, our timings were perfect and finally the sniggering had stopped and she sat catching flies, good bitch eat my dust, before I go all primal on your arse, your sisters aren’t here…

  “I was picked on all the time too babes, for some reason I was too fabulous for them. You babes are just like me, too fabulous to give a damn. You look nice tonight have you finally found the wow in having naturally curly hair? The salon has some stuff just come in for conditioning perms; they should be great on your hair. I'll bring you some stuff in next week. Now ignore the bitch and carry on looking fab babes.” I wondered what he meant about the hair? My hand went to the head, and it felt the same frizzy and freaky… I carried on with the lesson and tried to explain, why I hated her.

  “She has been a bitch for six and bit years. I’m thinking Lee, that I can survive a few more weeks. She has always had everything I have ever wanted though, and she knows it too.”

  “She, no matter how many lessons she has, she will never be as good as you, I’ve taught you all you know babes. I had to pull her up last week she was coming on to Sam yet again and fooling around like a damned school girl and Sammy Girl was slipping in her teaching abilities. Karen isn’t good enough for the exams, so I pulled her out of the next lot and told Sammy Girl she’s being taught by Lana, and she has to start from the beginning again and perfect the simple stuff first, she was not pleased!”

  I wondered did she fancy my Sam, get me my Sam! So she had seen him dancing here for months on both Tuesday and a Thursday, damn she’s seen more of him than I have bugger! Why did I not say yes to the Tuesday nippers and Thursday swing club? Bummer another missed opportunity… Oh hell is she going to ruin my Fridays with Sam?

  “Lee has she changed her lesson dates to Friday?” He laughed and stroked my cheek softly!

  “No Michelle. She was shocked as hell when she found out he wasn’t there on Tuesday and Thursday, but that was only ever a temporary slot for Sam, just until Lana had a Friday slot open up, and wow Karen is madder than a Witches tit that I won’t let her have a Friday slot, well not unless she wants to join you and your nippers? So how do you know him and explain the thing you two had, it was smoking hot to watch?” I was embarrassed and blushing, someone had seen the show we put on?

  “No… I erm… I saw him when he started here a few weeks ago, he’s sort of gorgeous, I think… Oh hell shut up and dance you queen, he’s sort of spoken for I think?” He laughed as he pulled me close…

  “Great minds babe, but he’s been having lessons for months. I know you know because you scanned his progress sheets the other week, because Madam Sinner told me you had! He’s been here since before Christmas, and then about three weeks later Karen started on those old nights too, note you didn’t scan her progress sheets, still you know she’s crap right? Oh hell babes… You have the green eyed monster! Funny now you mention it, when he started his Friday lessons, he seemed really relieved he could dance Fridays for some strange reason? Either she was doing his tree in or he likes someone here on a Friday night? I could be wrong on that and perhaps he hated Karen being there? All he did was laugh at her, she must have thought he was into her and laughing with her, not at her! Nahah, he ain’t into that skanky bitch, no not into her at all.

  He’s quite the deep boy, he’s very sensitive and wow the moves he has are so yummy, just my type of guy, it’s just a pity he doesn’t come in my flavour babes. I can tell you this much, she ain’t his flavour either! He has a strange reaction to skanks… Come on dance with me Sugar Knickers, he is gorg though and I happen to know he has his eye on someone really special. You have a mad crush on him babes, don’t you? Never mind we have great taste, fight you for him when we finish this damn lesson, she’s doing my head in! Listen to her speaking about timings; she wouldn’t know how to time a goddamned egg, bitch-ho-troll-bag!” I smiled, I’m learning my language skills from Lee, how did I not realise that? Then I sulked a little, who else liked my Sam?

  “He is cute Lee and yeah I’d lose out to you too knowing my sodding luck with you men! What with Karen and Lana, there’s also bloody a mystery woman to fight for his attention, great as though I thought Lana was bad enough obstacle, shit does everyone fancy him here?”

  “Yeah pretty much he has a big fan club, including, both Old Sammy Boy and Young Sammy Boy.” (We have an Old Sammy Boy, a Sammy Girl and a Young Sammy Boy!) Lee gets confused with all the Sam’s he has as teachers here, he said no more Sam’s, he may make exception to one more Sam though, I laugh inside and get inquisitive about the girl he likes, Lee is loving this, he knows who she is and isn’t for telling me damn it, crap, I’m saying that a lot lately, thanks Lee…

  “Karen asked Sammy Girl for her lessons to be changed to Fridays too. Unfortunately I had to veto them, as I need Sammy Girl for some new nipper lesson’s I’ve booked in for on a Friday. Lana is back to Tuesdays and Thursdays again; her hubby has changed shifts yet again. Goddamn it she changes her clients around more than often than she changes her knickers! Opps no… My bad mouth won’t shut up, she changes those more, if you get my drift, she has to they get a little dirty, what with all the crotch action she gets?”

  Err yes I did know what he meant, I knew what she did and with whom, the thought of Sam and her doing the do, sort of made me angry and sad again. Umm dance on ignore, regroup and ignore the cow in the corner. Please put happy thoughts in my head ladies, happy thoughts and now, before I kill the bitch-troll-ho invading the room! Lee did that he pulled me close and winked, as he listened to the crap coming from Karen…

  “So, she thinks your technically flawed, does she not know I’m your teacher babes? Well lets show her perfection, let’s give them a show and rock the next the dance.” He told Ellie to sit as Cathy, his helper for the night, was having a bad pregnancy. It was hitting her badly and her constant need to pee was stopping her from teaching a full hours lesson, poor woman.

  We indeed rocked the floor, laughing as the rest sat open-mouthe
d watching as we swung into full exhibition dancing mode. As the music came to an end I took my bow, to it has to be said to a resounding reward of clapping from the idiots who’d invade my world. Jimmy sat smiling and clapping too. Karen was sat gobsmacked and unable to give a speech on how she could have done that better… Try bitch and I will wipe the floor with your skanky arse…

  “That folks is what a good dancer looks like, all technically flawless and danced to perfection! Karen take note, Michelle’s nippers are more advanced than you! Now boys and girls if you’re up for it, you too could learn to dance like our lovely Michelle, you can book in for a free lesson next week and see if you like it? Michelle here is happy to teach, as she knows her stuff and doesn’t just think she’s a good dancer she is and she will be our new professional dancer! So sign up and be taught properly.” I blushed as I finished my lessons, cheek kisses from Lee and I went for a refresh. As some of my friends from college had tagged along too, including the other Michelle, the blonde one. I had decided it would be rude not to sit with them.

  The looks I seemed to be getting from the college idiots, made me feel more uncomfortable and embarrassed. I put my hand to my head and oh no my frizzy, room dried, curly hair. It must be an ungodly holy fizz bomb of a mess, it had rained on my short, walk up and all the hairspray I’d put on to tame the mop, to try at least to make it look better, wouldn’t have done sweet sod all to help matters. That was a complete and utter waste of time. I went to the changing rooms to freshen up. I picked up my comfort cardigan, ready for a quick exit, should the need arise. Grams had in fact spent so long knitting it for my birthday and it was so fluffy, warm, nice, and well-made and in my times of need, my comforter, tonight it will be that self-same comforter.