A Life Plan Without You.

by Christine Wood

  Lord did her friend laugh and me too, as we got her out of the toilet and I opened the door carrying her to the seating area. I asked a bouncer to get her checked over and went to finish in the toilet, thanking Dr White for the towel. I didn’t have to do anything, just be sober enough to shift as she knocked herself out. I picked the contents up and put them back and closed the door, leaving the unit on the side a little dinged. I came out to find Shane checking her over.

  “I didn’t do anything she came at me, all I did was move, you know I don’t fight Shane, not unless I need too and I promise I didn’t have too.” He laughed.

  “Like sod you don’t, you’ve kicked my arse more than once.” Sam stood watching Shane and he was fuming.

  “I didn’t do anything please tell him please?” I asked, no begged her friend because Sam was angry with me. She confirmed my story and laughed as she told them it was all her own fault, saying her head had broken the machine in the toilet too, she said that Sam had given her no encouragement at all the night before.

  “Thanks for that, are you stopping here with us or going in the ambulance with your friend?” She opted for us, as we were better company.

  “I will phone her Mum, and tell her she’s on her way to hospital again.” She did just that and re-joined Sam and I at the bar, the Jolly’s were now calling me Rocky too.

  “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name?” She blushed.

  “I’m Carol Fletcher, I’m so sorry about her, but she has a big drink problem. I only come out to look after her, thought she doesn’t take advise or know when to quit, Jenny told her you were off limits. Something she will have forgotten and something she will have to be reminded of again when she sobers up.”

  “Well pleased to meet you and welcome to the party, this is Sam and I’m his girlfriend Michelle. These lads are the Jolly boys, Jolly’s this is Carol. Be kind and nice for a change, and you keep your mitts to yourself groper, she’s too nice for your mitts.” I pointed at the idiot who pinched my bum. Sam held me tightly Stuart made a beeline for Carol good she’ll be safe with Stuart.

  “I’m fine Sam, gheeze she couldn’t even stand properly let alone throw a punch, oh shit Sam help.” He laughed as Shane was on his way over. His music was playing and he was heading my way. I was now being marched to the dance floor. Knock on Wood, I sure as hell wasn’t in the mood for this but I danced anyway, the Jollies had moved closer for a look-see and Sam had his arm over Carol’s shoulder, I looked at Sam and smiled. He realised where his arm was and moved it. The music changed to The Hustle and as the floor filled, Stuart was leading Carol on the dance floor. I kissed Shane and headed for the door. Sam was following; he looked worried as he pulled me to him.

  “Sorry there wasn’t room and she was being pushed, so I just grabbed her shoulder honestly there was nothing more in it please?” I looked at him because I was puzzled, why did I make him panic, was I that much of a stroppy cow?

  “I just need some fresh air Sam, honestly angel I was coming back, I knew what you were doing, one more push and she’d have fallen, angel I trust you please Sam we are fine, more than fine were great, take me to eat please, I may need it to soak up the whole three glasses of wine I’ve had.” We said our goodbyes and Sam held my hand tightly. We ended up at Lune De Minuit, (The Midnight Moon.) it was a new French bistro that had recently opened.

  “What do you want Michelle?”

  “Surprise me please, but no alcohol I’ve had my fill thank you angel.” I sat at an empty table and waited for him to get back.

  “Michelle, please I didn’t do anything?”

  “Sam shut up. I know you didn’t do anything, I wouldn’t be here if I thought for one minute you had. Am I that bad Sam, do I make you panic and make you edgy? Really you need to tell me if I do, I didn’t think I did sorry?” He kissed me, passing me a box.

  “No, it’s just sometimes I think, you think I need more than you and I don’t. Others may be interested in me, but I only have eyes for just one girl and she’s sat here with me. Open it please and look on the back, because I’ve had it engraved too.” I opened the nice box. Oh my days a beautiful antique looking platinum watch. It was so exquisite the straps had tiny diamonds encrusted within the rope like band, with four sapphires around the face in between each of those, two diamonds. It was so beautiful and it certainly brought tears to my eyes. Oh my this was the nicest thing I’d ever been bought. I turned it over to read the inscription. ‘To heaven and back again.’ I loved my watch and cried. Our snacks and drinks were brought to the table, crusty Chicken baguettes. I thought he would order snails just to piss me off and I’m still crying over the bloody watch.

  “I noticed you haven’t got one a watch. This is… Well just… Well because I love you and your all I want, please believe me baby your all I want Michelle just you.” I oh-ed and then the tears started as he smiled across the table at me.

  “Sam I love it and I love you too so much it hurts angel, am I too much for you? If I get that way tell me, I will try to be better, but your all I want too, and all of you angel just you.” He put it on and I sat and looked at it. Sam had at last relaxed, why did I put him on edge all the time? I knew I had too quick a temper, but I was so insecure about Sam and me, not knowing the reasons why he did not want me as much as I wanted him, were to me so confusing? I just wish I knew why I wasn’t good enough to have full sex with? Was he keeping it for someone else? No, that wasn’t it at all, because we spent every minute together! This issue didn't help me in the trust department…

  Food eaten and drinks drank, I had spent the whole time looking at my watch it was so beautiful. Sam looked at me all the time and smiled, as he helped me to my feet he kissed the back of my neck, telling me he loved me, as he turned me around to face him, his lips kissed mine again. We walked to my house, the long way around, it had started raining, so no short cut through the field, the rain was freezing as we clung together for warmth, Sam had me wrapped in his arms and his jacket shared with me, when I refused to take it.

  “Come on bed, we need to get out of these wet clothes.” I shut the door and led him upstairs. Grabbing a warm towel from my radiator, I dried his hair and then as he stripped off his wet shirt, I dried his body, his body shivered at my touch and as the rest of his clothes were abandoned, the fluffy warm towel wiped the other places of that damn body I smiled as I looked down.

  “Those off too Sam, I wouldn’t want him to get a chill, not before his big day.” He threw them at me and grabbed the dry pair I offered him. He jumped in my bed and I ran to the bathroom and washed and changed, coming into my room he was laid in my bed, smiling. I put on my fluffy Christmas reindeer pyjamas, not wanting to spoil my new ones, and he was very rude and he laughed at them. I climbed in my bed at the side of him. I could have had guilt sex right now damn lady time, so we just cuddled, he held me tight kissing my neck.

  “I love you, Michelle, you are all I want in my sad little life, you baby girl just you.”

  “I want you more Sam, and soon I’m sorry I’m a bitch sometimes, I just didn’t think you would ever want me, and now you do, and are here, but…”

  “But what? Baby I love you and we have all the time in the world for sex, all the time baby, and when we do it will be great and I do want you so much, I promise you, you are all I want, tonight tomorrow and forever just you, now shush. Sleep Michelle, just sleep and know I mean it when I say I love you.”

  “I love you too, I hate being a woman my belly aches, sorry not dead romantic am I?”I yawn as he laughed, his kisses to my neck made me sleepy his breath as he kissed my neck, felt warm and as he stroked my back and hugged my poorly belly, I fell asleep with him holding me tightly within those strong arms. We slept in late and as I rolled over to face him, he looked so peaceful as he slept, and as I traced his face with my finger gently, he murmured my name…

  CHAPTER 8

  “Sam, wake up please, Sam.” I kissed his beautiful mouth he woke with a beaming smile. “Morning yo
u it’s nearly lunch time.” He pulled me to him.

  “We have to get up why exactly?” He had a point. “Kiss me Michelle.” I didn’t need asking twice, but morning breath? Hell if I had it so did he, I kissed him and I needed to pee.

  “Sorry angel I need the loo.” He sat up.

  “Well hurry up I need it too.” I did my best to rush I went back in my room, whilst he did a runner across the landing. I sat on Becky’s bed and waited for him to get back in. He bumped into mum coming out of the toilet, and I don’t know who was more embarrassed him or mum?

  “Sorry Mum, Sam stopped last night. We won’t, be long we’ll be out of your hair in a minute.” I laughed as he came back in as red same colour as the dress I was going to wear I put it back and picked another one. Mum had just copped a look at Sam in boxers, a truly nice sight indeed.

  “So, can I go and see you’re Mum today? I’m feeling fine, and she can’t catch my, thing.” He smiled.

  “You want to go and see her?” I looked puzzled.

  “Why wouldn’t I Sam? She’s really been nice to me. I had better change, though.” I pulled out another of Gramps dresses, a stylish lemon dress this was so nice it would go perfect with the new primrose underwear.

  “I’d say turn around but as you’ve seen everything. It would be pointless.” I took the top off, putting on my bra and put the dress on over my pyjamas bottoms, there is still something’s he wasn’t seeing.

  “I like that one, Gramps has good taste.” I put on tights and the new yellow shoes I have to go with it. Perfect, just the hair, I went to the bathroom wet the frizzy mess. It had been wet and dried funny, I looked like hair bear again. I washed it and put in some mousse and shook it I tied a yellow ribbon round it. Sam was sitting on the bed watching me.

  “Sam what’s the matter?” He just smiled and held me. He nuzzled my belly and I ran my fingers through his hair. He held me tighter and smiled.

  “I just love you, so much can I not just be happy for that reason baby? Come on pass me my stuff.” His clothes were still in my wardrobe, he changed into the black trousers and a new white shirt. Mum obviously had, had a nosey as all his stuff had been ironed and hung up, we went down Sam smiling as he pinched my bum.

  “Mum thanks for ironing Sam’s clothes, we’re going to the hospital to see Emma we won’t be long, I have lessons later.” I looked at him admiring the things he had on.

  “I like that jacket it’s very nice.” He was always smartly dressed, and since I started seeing him my wardrobe consisted of a lot more dresses, more than it ever had before, and my drawers were heavy with all sorts of lace and frills.

  We were at the market getting things for Emma I beat him into paying for the flowers. He just smiled when I won the race to pay he hated me paying for things, I don’t understand why though, I always paid my own way, he would have to get used to it.

  “Flowers, fruit, chocolate, snacks, drinks and magazines I can’t think of anything else has she got clean underwear and nightdresses?” We had an arm full of things for her.

  “Andy, Jimmy and Aunty go twice a day, I’m sure she would have asked for things, if she needed them?” We got a taxi to the hospital I loved the smell of hospitals, strange person that I am. He led me to her ward, where she was sat propped up, in bed reading a book.

  “Oh Michelle, do you feel better? I didn’t expect to see you.” I smiled she looked so small and frail, she looked like a hug would break her. She had lost weight and really looked ill, being in hospital she must be, derrr.

  “I’m better thanks how are you? This lot for you should keep you going for a bit, are you in pain Emma?” She showed the flowers to a nurse who was taking her temperature and doing tests.

  “These are off my lovely Son and his girlfriend, aren’t they beautiful?” I blushed Sam just sat and smiled at his mum.

  “I can put them in water if you want?” The nurse pointed to the sluice room.

  “There’s vases in there and water of course.” I disappeared for a few minutes returning with the flowers neatly in a vase, boy it stank in there, I put the hastily arranged flowers on her bedside table, we sat at her bedside she wanted to know how my holiday had gone, so I filled her in on the holiday all about nearly being fed to the crabs at the wreck, going to Isle of Man, showing her my ears too.

  The skating and everything including frock shopping and as we talked Sam smiled. She laughed at the crab thing, and then I told her all about being ill and about being sick and Sam clearing away after me. The nurse she wasn't watching Emma, she was eyeing Sam up. He was sat watching his mum and I chatter on and on, we were going great guns, it seemed important to him that we did get on, but Emma is easy to love and to talk to.

  “You’re going to miss it when they sell up.” I was, and it was nice of her to remember they were moving, she had remembered everything that we’d spoken of.

  “Yes, but as Sam keeps saying it’s just a place, and I’m not to be sad because Gramps will be nearer, you have a very clever Son.” She stroked his cheek.

  “He is he picked you, he loves you so much, me too.” Oh my that was so nice, we both blushed, and then we laughed and before long it was teatime. We were asked to leave, we wasn’t aware we’d been there here for so long, the time had flown by and as we were going she smiled, she looked happier than when we arrived. I kissed Emma and Sam gave her a hug and kiss.

  “We will come and see you tomorrow Emma, do you need anything?” She waved me to her.

  “New knickers please and can Sam buy me a couple of new night dresses, these have seen better days, some things you can’t ask your Son’s to get you.” I smiled my smug smile.

  “I told him we should have bought you some no worries, I’ll get them from Marks on my way to class.” I kissed her again and waved bye. The nurse gave Emma her tea.

  “They’re a nice couple aren’t they?” Emma beamed.

  “Yes I’m very lucky they’re my Son and soon to be Daughter.” Sam looked at me, as I just blushed.

  “Mum needs some things from Marks and Sparks, have you been talking to her about talking me into marrying you Sam?” He admitted defeat in trying to think of what women and girls wanted.

  “No, that came as a shock to me too, will you though?” He laughed when I shook my head. We got to Marks with about ten minutes to spare, I grabbed the underwear she would need seeing as her other stuff had seen better days, sheisk, he blushed buying mine, buying for Emma was comical, we purchased as well a dressing gown, slippers and three nightdresses. Sam handed his card over and signed on the dotted line. He had spent a small fortune in the past few days. Something I was still annoyed at, his refusal to accept the money I offered him for the dresses, I had it he just wouldn't take it. I needed to change for our night out too, and we weren’t lugging knickers and stuff around, so we went to my house with the things.

  I had an hour to change, do my hair the eyes and underwear and get back up to dance class. The dress was an easy choice the first one Sam said wow at when I tried it on, the black spotty swing dress Sam had bought for me, with the new sexy black and white underwear, the killer black heels. The makeup kept simple, smokey eyes and lip-gloss. I wiped some off and went down stairs carefully. I went into the front room Aunty Liz had come in to chat to mum about taking JJ and Becks on holiday.

  “Swoosh Michelle you look very nice, turn around let me see.” I turned. “Come here your wonky. She straightened the seams and smiled. Sam looked miffed Aunty had stolen his job for the day. “You look proper nice Michelle, so nice and grown up, when did that happen?” Sam was catching them there flies again. Mum too had her mouth open.

  “When Gramps and Sam decided I needed to look like a lady, they may dress me up in frills and stuff, but I’m still happier in my joggers and jeans. Ready Sam, I have a class in twenty minutes?” We said our goodbyes and rushed up to class, we made it just in time too, and I just had enough time to change shoes. I was with Samantha downstairs teaching the lads from school. Sam
followed, he sat and watched as Samantha and I walked the lads through a quick step for this lesson. It was a painful lesson for both Samantha and I, boy did Sam laugh as they squished my toes, the lesson from hell over. I plonked myself on his knee.

  “Sam, thank you I feel very pretty in this.” He kissed me.

  “I’d go with you look damn sexy, Mi cielo.” I blushed. Why does he make me do that all the time?

  “I have to have my lesson and do an hour with the nippers come upstairs and watch please?” I was on my own with Lee; Ellie was away on her holiday.

  “Look who scrubs up well let’s start with the Rumba please Michelle.” I took his arm and ran through the steps. “Music, let us show this room how to dance shall we?” This dress was lovely it flowed with the music and made me feel so special. I received a round of applause from the idiots I curtsied and continued.

  “Jive next let’s go straight to music and get the best use of this dress.” I loved the Jive and yes, it was perfect for the dress unfortunately the idiots, got a view of what was underneath too. Whistles and cheers, from the boys. Sam doled out the required dirty looks.

  “Quite boys, lessons being learnt thank you. Cha-cha-cha, again, with music please. Can we run through the mid-section again? Music again please.” I showed him the steps on my own and he grabbed my hand and danced me through it again. “Right we will run through the Samba without music, show me what you learnt last week.” I danced the steps. I knew the order they went in. “Music, I think?” He grabbed my arms and placed the fingers correctly and we started, a bit of a slip up and I had a cussing fit. “No, no, no this way.” He was losing the plot with me. He moved around to me he had his hands on my hips. “Go down and swish the hips then stop. I spin you around and then back up not forgetting the arm movement, flick back and perfection. Again, timings Michelle watch the timings and you will be fine babe, just concentrate on the timings and you should be fine.” My nippers were coming in Lee asked them to sit. I danced the dance again and wow, I did it. Not as perfect as I wanted but enough to get the okay from Lee to finish.