A Life Plan Without You.

by Christine Wood

  “Miss M, you look very nice tonight. Rumba please Samantha. Are you two going out later? You both look very nice. Well, the cheerleaders are here. So let’s give them a show. Music please, arms up a little more definition in their placement please, right and hips perfect. Let’s run it once more from the top please.” We danced perfectly in time both Ellie and I enjoying it.

  The Samba next this dance we had just started, so we expected a few flaws, but the number he found was unacceptable. Cue a Missy-fit or three, I was angry, because we were cramming a new dance in, in less than two weeks. Where had Cathy’s head been? Do pregnant women really forget things, as she kept saying?

  “Right, Michelle again from the top.” I couldn’t get the step right and cussed a lot.

  “Shit, no I suck at this… Argh.” A perfect mini-Missy-fit.

  “Right, again please Lee.” I buckled down and did it. I had a major Missy-fit with myself, picked myself up, and did it again until I got it right.

  “Yes good, Sam swop with me please. I’ll run through it with Ellie now.” She had the same problem as me, Lee laughed and said we'd need more time, and a few more lessons to get it spot on, time we didn't have.

  “Jive next ladies now let’s see if the dress flings into action, Missy.” I liked this dance, and yes, the dress did suit the dance. Feet moving together, perfect Ellie and I were dancing it in unison and laughing as we did it.

  “Perfect girls perfect.” Paso double next, the one we knew and actually, didn’t need correcting on any of the moves.

  “Good work ladies see you next week. Michelle I will see you Wednesday at seven pm on the dot please.” Ellie and I started to give the nippers their lessons they danced so well tonight.

  “I think you lot have been taking lessons with someone else. Who, come on tell me? When did you all get so fantastic?” Between the laughter at that, I got a hug, from Gillian.

  “See you all next week.” I was glad that was over, I went to change shoes, but stopped to introduce Ellie to the family.

  “Ellie, these are Jimmy’s cousins Kim and Ted, this is his elder brother Andy, this is his girlfriend Zoë, you know Sam already, everyone this is Ellie.” I wasn’t sure if we were stopping here or moving on.

  “You danced very nicely, the pair of you.” Ellie went red, as Kim complemented her.

  “Thanks we try. Must say though tonight you were on top form, what are you taking?” I laughed.

  “I’ve had two bits of good news I have been asked to join Stockton Hockey Club’s winter training, for goalkeepers and Lee has just asked me to teach here, permanently and paid. So yes, it's been a great day.” I went to change shoes, the glitter ball was on, and music was playing. I went back to meet Sam feeling so fantastic, could tonight get any better? Sam was waiting as I came from my locker.

  “Will you dance with me Michelle, please?” I held his hand as he held me close.

  “I never want to lose you, sorry about the pill thing. Mum was worried, in case we were rushing into things, erm will you dance like that for me again baby, it made my dick twitch watching you dance with Lee, fuck you were hot.” I kissed him.

  “I might if you put out Todd, I may include a strip next time though? As to the pill mix up don’t fret angel, I have you, why would I be stupid enough to get pregnant without telling you, that’s something we discuss together, when I have the other ring on and my surname is changed, and not for a few years yet, you have to show me the world first and we have things to do before changing nappies and feeding times. That is definitely not on the cards yet, in a few years yeah with bells on, but for now I’m happy with you, I’m not ready to share you with a baby just yet.” He smiled.

  “Yet, nice to know it’s not a no then, I can’t wait to have babies with you, but we need to practice first, plenty of practice Michelle, I fucking love you so much.”

  “Watch your language Todd your very smutty tonight. I hadn’t even thought of children, until you asked me to have yours, I’m still one myself. Someday, I want to be a mum, but not any time soon though. Sheisk there’s loads we need to do together, before we add any little Sam’s into the mix. Yes we need a hell of a lot of practice first and starting practicing would be a help. We have places to see together, things to do and just us two first, lots of things to do before nappy changing.” He smiled.

  “Come on we need to celebrate, a great week for everyone.” He spun me around kissed my cheek.

  “Let’s get to celebrating then, Ellie are you ready?” She was talking to Karen, who looked like I did when everyone else got an invitation to a party, and I didn't get one and that happened a lot to me. “You’re more, than welcome to come if you want Karen?” She looked at me in surprise.

  “Are you sure? I’d love to thanks.” Sam was as surprised as she was, at that one. My good mood, I passed on to everyone. We waited for her to grab her coat and change shoes.

  “Ready, let the night begin. Kim, Ted, Andy and Zoë, meet Karen.” Ted was a bit shy he looked at her, eyes wide and mouth open. I whispered into his ear.

  “She won’t bite but you may want to shut your mouth, your catching flies.” He laughed at me. We passed Heaven and Shane was outside smiling that smile at the girls who passed by the doors.

  “We will be in later, meet the new family.” I introduced every one he was very interested in Kim, but then again, who wasn’t?

  “A party of ten with more added as we travel, and we will definitely adding to it see you later, we have drinking to do.” He had words with Sam again, this time they both laughed.

  “Where you warned not to get me drunk?” He laughed.

  “No, to keep my eyes on Rocky, the girls are out in force tonight.” I blushed.

  “It’s not like I come out looking for a fight. Normally they find me and because of you.” I was over his shoulder and he was running me down the shopping centre.

  “Put me down please, I promise to be well behaved.” Jimmy was laughing, “Shush you, put me down Sam please, and I will leave the being a bad girl to home.” With the promise of that, he put me straight down.

  “Do you two never stop mucking around?” Zoë was smiling.

  “We have our moments Zoë.” Night Owl first, I went to the loo with Karen and Ellie.

  “Thanks for the invite Michelle, I didn’t expect you to.” I smiled.

  “Well I’m full of surprises I only hope you have a goodnight. Ellie, you’re okay with Jimmy aren’t you? He’s all right but he’s just really shy just give him time he warms up quickly.” Sam had my drink and Jimmy had drinks for Karen and Ellie, which they gladly took from him.

  “Did you sort him out with cash too Sam?” He laughed. I had my arms around his waist. “Do you think we can work on the practising on the practice of getting pregnant thing Sam?” He turned and looked at me his face was a picture, as I laughed. “We will need lots of the practicing, before we succeeded in getting pregnant and when we are ready we will be so prepared, what do you think does practice make perfect?” He looked at me, and his hand ran down my back and rested around my waist.

  “I think that idea I like, Michelle and as soon as possible please?” I gave him the ultimatum.

  “Well how about when we get back then, as you promised? I’m ready and have been since first contact alley. I have decided that you come before the navy too.” He pulled me to him.

  “I love you enough to follow you anywhere.” I smiled, he hadn’t said his usual we have plenty of time. There was a hope for later yes, a happy dance oh, nervous dance now it was here.

  “I love you enough to leave it you mean more to me than that, besides I can't stand being away from you, so many months of training, with very little leave, nope I would miss you too much angel.” I hoped that he knew now, how much he meant to me.

  “Drink up you two we’re off to the Stockton Arms next.” I drank my coke, Karen and Ellie had finished theirs and were with Jimmy and Ted.

  “Michelle, will you let me buy you a ring tom
orrow please? I want to ask Mick, if we can get married, make it official?” I laughed.

  “Sex first you may be crap in bed, though I highly doubt that, given the other stuff we’ve done Sam.” He blushed I held his hand and followed the rest.

  “The drinks are on me in here, Michelle, has been accepted in the Stockton Hockey team and I’m so proud of my wonderful fiancée.” Karen wished me luck, and looked sheepish.

  “I forgot to tell you about the match today. I didn’t do it on purpose, but every class I went to you had already left.” I smiled.

  “I know, that’s what I said had happened. I’m just really happy, I still get to play.” Harry and Nick came into the bar, Nick made eye contact with Kim, and Karen made a beeline for Harry. Jimmy joined them, with Ellie and I introduced Kim to Nick, she happily talked to anyone.

  She and Jimmy laughed and joked at something he’d said, Teddy looked a bit down. My mission was a girl for Teddy tonight, my soon to be cousin was not going out with Karen-Bloody-Manning.

  “Are you two coming to Heaven, this lot are?” I looked at Nick, he was well into Kim, which was bad news for party girl tomorrow, he’s the one she’s set her cap at, at her party. I reminded them of the time it started. Then I spotted the girl who thought she was a fighter. I needed the loo, so excused myself and disappeared in her direction and I went to the toilet. She had friends with her; don’t panic do what you need and back to Sam, she was laughing.

  “Not so cocky on your own are you bitch?” I ignored her flushed and went to wash my hands. Her friends had the door blocked

  “Fine what’s the problem this week? Twice I’ve let you walk away now you’ve been warned off by Jenny right?” I looked at the other girls.

  “Oh, she didn’t tell you that I’ve not actually touched her at all yet? She fell the first time hitting her head on the sanitary towel dispenser,” I laughed. “I blocked her last smack, she was warned next time I wouldn’t be a nice Michelle. I'm sorry if you’ve been dragged in to it but it has nothing to do with you so walk away. I’ll deal with you miss, not the rest of these. My Cousin Jenny came in as I came in here with Carol, ask your friend she will confirm my story, seeing as she's always too pissed to remember how she got to hospital or home, so go on and ask her.” Their faces were a picture; the girl who would fight looked at them and shrugged her shoulders at them.

  “Vaffanculo, you didn’t know I’m Jenny’s cousin either? You really do like your friends taking a kicking for you, don’t you?” They went to see Jenny, they would be either back or not, but I’d had enough of this stupid girl. “Right, this ends tonight, I’m fed up of coming out and trouble finding me. You want to fight, fine bring on your best punch. Make sure it counts, because you won’t get a second one in, it will be your last.” She threw a punch. Blocked and stopped, she looked petrified. She went for my hair, pulling it hard. Such a girl thing to do, pity really her chin was so right for forcing up and another self-defence tactic winner. The upper double hands knock to the chin.

  I hit her once, just once she fell back against the wall. I picked her up and put her head down the toilet, flushed it and left her crying on the floor. I had that done to me the first day in secondary school by the school bully, Karen’s sister Rachel and several times since. Doing this made me feel shit, but I just hoped it would send her home wet and tired, I know that’s where I wanted to go after my toilet shampoo and set!

  “Don’t come looking for me again because, next time I do damage, go home get help please and leave me alone. I hate that you are making me feel like a bully and that’s so not like me. Get help stop drinking and stop lusting after my fiancé, see I have the ring on my finger, so go home sober up and get off the drugs too.” I wiped my hands and left the toilets. Hell, I was now no better than the school bully, but she really wasn’t for letting it drop.

  “Hello, Jenny met my new friends have you?” She smiled.

  “I like that Teddy bloke, Michelle, you look very pretty tonight. I don’t suppose you’ve seen Megan have you?” I laughed.

  “There’s a young girl in the toilet, but she didn’t tell me her name. She needed cooling down a little.” With that, Megan came screaming out at me like a drenched and wailing banshee.

  “You fucking bitch I’m going to kill you.” I really had, had enough now.

  “Please, really the best you’ve got is I’m a bitch? Bring it on little girl.” She tried again this time I hit her quite hard to the nose, straight out and with one punch. “This bitch has got a mean right hook which I inherited from my daddy and five years boxing. As to being a bitch? Well I’ve been called worse, but never more than once. Now for the last time, go home and stick to water when you’re out drinking, anything stronger addles your brain. You can’t do two things when you’re as thick and constantly as drunk as you always seem to be, go home get help and for sodding hells sake don’t hit me again that was just a warning tap!”

  I picked her up and put her on the bench at the back door. Jenny followed her. I had an audience. Karen looked on at me shocked and a little afraid and perhaps wondering why I hadn’t hit her like that over the past six years? She’d followed the bullying through to college, such was her loathing of me and so immature of her too.

  “That concludes this evening’s entertainment thank you and do please come again.” I walked to the bar. “Can I please have a vodka and coke?” The woman behind the bar looked at me, laughing. I was damned embarrassed.

  “Why did she have wet hair?” She gave me my drink.

  “Keep the change, she needed some toilet water to get rid of a smell she had. Unfortunately, she still stinks.” She laughed and then I laughed. Sam was behind me ready with the money to pay.

  “Thanks angel, I managed to get served. I had a run in with the nutter, who busted my lip.” He looked at me.

  “You’ve been fighting again?” Jenny had a smile on her face.

  “No, she was dodging smacks again. I think you may have broken her nose though, Mick would have been proud of that punch, I didn’t know Mick was your dad?” I smiled.

  “He is and is always at Dah’s, I’m always with the ponies when he takes me there, so I’m surprised I have never met you, before the other day.” Sam was scowling at me. “Sam I hated hitting her but she wasn’t for backing off. Do you want a drink Jenny?” I’d finished mine.

  “Erg yes I’ll have a pint please.” Sam bought them in.

  “Do you want another?” I nodded.

  “Please I’m in need of one my knuckles hurt she bruised them with her face.” Jimmy was next to comment.

  “I thought the Rocky thing was a joke. Michelle she went down like, wham one minute up and the next time she was flat out. How come you never sorted the girls who bullied you at school like that?” I laughed and Karen looked over lusting after Sam still.

  “I funnily enough don’t like fighting and I wanted to attend school and I’m grown up enough to know you leave those childish games at school, and not continue it in college, nor did I want to get expelled or get a criminal record, I needed a clean sheet to get in the navy, but hey I’m stopping here now with Sam, so don’t have those limitations on me anymore, so does anyone else mess with me? I don’t fight unless it’s a last resort. Aren’t you glad I’m your best buddy now then, imagine getting one of them from me and me actually wanting to hit you?” I was waffling again, nervous that Sam had seen a physically violent Michelle. Jimmy laughed and went back to Ellie and Ted, who Jenny was actually giving the once over. I introduced them to each other.

  “You met Shane earlier? Well this is his Cousin Jenny.” She would eat him alive. “Jenny, this is Sam’s Cousin Ted, I call him Teddy Bear, because he’s so nice and cuddly.” He blushed and shook her hand. “Carol you and Stuart are you coming with us to Heaven again, you are aren’t you please? Sorry about Megan, I didn’t want to touch her.” She was really a quiet girl, Carol. Stuart and Sam were at the bar, getting drinks.

  “Don’t give Megan a second
thought she really is a messed up drunk, that’s all she does from getting up to going to bed, seven days a week. Thanks to you asking me to join you the other week, I was her paid career, she needs one she should be locked away, but says the right things to get out and is quite the actress when they question her, but after last week I’d had enough and quit. I’ve had nothing to do with her again Stuart and I are seeing each other too.”

  “Oh that’s great, I’m so happy for you both, of all Sam’s friends he seems the nicest, good luck and welcome to the group, seems we may become firm friends like Sam and Stuart are.” The disc jockey put on some music and people were dancing, I grabbed Carol and we were joined by Zoë, as the other girls made their way to us, Zoë laughed at me.

  “I need you on my side, when I go out.” I smiled, umm to keep a closer eye on Sam perhaps?

  “I don’t fight, I self-defend very well.” She danced at the side of me I moved around her and danced, was she actually sober?

  “Odd Fellows next, when you’re ready girls?” We followed, but Sam hadn’t been near me in ages. I actually hadn’t seen him in a while, not since he went to the bar for our drinks, which Stuart brought us. I hadn’t looked for Sam as there were loads of people in the pub and because I was busy dancing, I hadn’t noticed he wasn’t there and I panicked, he never left me alone ever…

  “You all go on, I need the loo, and I will follow you all in a minute.” I went to find my wayward fiancé. I went to the toilet and he was there, he was with another girl. He looked at me as my face obviously filled with wonder and suspicion.

  “Michelle, this isn’t what you think I promise. This is just my cousin, Aunty June’s daughter Shelly. Shelly, this is my fiancée Michelle.” She held her hand out, looking at Sam in disgust. Erg not liking this girl at all. Something has the Michelle bitch hair in hackle mode.

  “You are engaged Sam. Why wasn’t I told about this?” I didn’t like this girl at all. What did it have to do with her?